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toby
Dec 4, 2002


hello?

hello is anyone there?

*logs in to bedside terminal*

empty? there's... no one online??

oh my god

HELLLOOOOO???? IS ANYBODY THEREEEE

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toby
Dec 4, 2002


Day 1

The forums are abandoned. It makes no sense. They can't all just be gone. Maybe they're posting in a subforum somewhere. There might be one I didn't check. But all of them? At once? What could cause that?

I mean, the chickencheese thread was getting good, but... I posted in that thread myself, and I'm still here. Maybe I'm immune?

Or... oh poo poo. Was Hellbanning brought back? Is this the new Hellban? Am I being punished?

HELLO?? CAN ANYBODY HEAR MEE

...


...


well.

night time is coming. I'll figure this out, but for right now I need to hunker down and make a safe place so I can keep an eye on my surroundings.

I'll build a fort from some shitposts and use YOSPOS as my home base. maybe I can venture out and find some meaty preserved threads in D&D to sustain me.

toby
Dec 4, 2002


Day 1, addendum

It didn't take long to realize that every post I find is garbage. Wherever they went, they must have taken every quality post with them. I'm going to have to think strategically, maybe look in closed threads or see if maybe somebody snuck in a good post somewhere unlikely and nobody thought to go back for it.

Once I get my strength back up, I'll try to make it down to the goldmine. If anybody's left, I bet they'll be heading there as well.


P.S. - My mod button doesn't work. It just clicks and makes a little spark, not even enough to start a fire with. I couldn't even change a thread title. I think the power source is out... I could probably recharge it in the temple of the admins, but nobody knows where that is.

I feel powerless, but then, there is nothing to be done with those powers anyway. I'm a mere man -- and maybe the only one left in the world.



If I was being punished, they wouldn't leave my mod buttons, would they?

Better not worry about it.

toby
Dec 4, 2002


Day 2. Or is it still day 1? It's hard to keep track.

Earlier I thought I saw a new thread in GBS. Looked like another police abuse/gun control thread, but I didn't care. As I drew closer, though, I thought I could see posts that didn't fit.

A yoscat picture. A long effortpost about some European political scandal. A string of PYF rear end posts. An argument about dogfood. The face of z0r loomed above in the fog and rumbled "MILKIE"... then it disappeared, replaced by what first seemed to be tiny snowflakes; on closer examination, they were post buttons and 1's.

A larger thing floated down, a pink post telling me to go back to GBS... yes, I remembered GBS, is that where I belong? I reached out -

suddenly, the ground shook and a stream of posts shattered through the earth and streamed like a jet of water into the sky. A never-ending stream of GBS posts, I clutched at my face and shouted in terror. I would be crushed, drowned. I had to get away. I scrambled, tripped, looked over my shoulder and saw the torrent of terrible posts bearing down on me, I shut my eyes tight and thought THIS IS IT


And it was gone. Empty again. Nothing. No posts. Just emptiness.

I sat for a long time just staring at the void
Then, I came back to my shitpost fort.

toby
Dec 4, 2002


Day 3

I awake. The post clock has hardly changed. I don't think time works the right way anymore.


Today, I set out for the goldmine. I hope to find others there, but if there is no one, I will search for clues and find the Secret Chamber of the Administrators.

And when I wield the powers of a god, I shall bring them back myself.


I leave this journal behind in case someday it is found. If I'm not an administrator when you read this, lonely traveler, I didn't make it.

Follow my notes. Succeed where I have failed. Become the One True Poster.

Good luck.

toby
Dec 4, 2002


also Dehumanize Yourself And Face To Bloodshed

802.11weed
May 9, 2007

“ it's all junk,
fuckin’ trash,
just garbage. ”


hi toby

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

i have many bad posts to impart


personally i still blame radium

toby
Dec 4, 2002


oh

oh whew




it was all a dream

AppleCobbler
Feb 8, 2003

Be careful what you wish for.

Go left

got dat wmd
Apr 28, 2009


post post post

LmaoTheKid
Oct 7, 2002

BA-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAHHH I'M LOVIN' IT


Sneaking Mission
Nov 11, 2008




i'm here for you toby

Necc0
Jun 30, 2005

Oh so that mean we gonna-
you gonna switch it on em'?


toby posted:

oh

oh whew




it was all a dream

*takes off mask*

*eats spiders*

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

i have many bad posts to impart


toby am legend

Posting Principle
Dec 10, 2011

by Ralp


Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch


finally my life can continue







Coocockachoo how could you do this to me

Slaughterhouse-Ive
Sep 6, 2010

Listen: Sir Jony Ive has come unstuck in time.



bad news toby. the good posters were raptured up.

Cocoa Crispies
Jul 20, 2001

Vehicular Manslaughter!



Necc0 posted:

*eats spiders*
dude was a douche anyways, no real loss

double sulk
Jul 2, 2010



i once was lost, but now i'm found

got dat wmd
Apr 28, 2009


where were u during the lack of posting

i was getting the best old fashioned ever

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

i have many bad posts to impart


mjs6643 posted:

bad news toby. the good posters were raptured up.

whew, we didn't lose any regulars then

teledildonics
Sep 9, 2008

shame on a kitty who try to run game on a kitty

wu buck wild wit tha trigga



5

Deviant
Sep 26, 2003

...identity dicks?



i loving hate this thread. the looting was better.

horse mans
May 11, 2011

syrupy retard


> search forum

You find a bunch of gay thread

> take thread

It has a bee on it.

> open thread

A strong scrent of poo and pee emanates from the thread.

toby
Dec 4, 2002


i rampaged around the forums but chooch cleaned it up

good guy, that chooch

Sudo Echo
Mar 1, 2011



WHOIS John Galt posted:

> search forum

You find a bunch of gay thread

> take thread

It has a bee on it.

> open thread

A strong scrent of poo and pee emanates from the thread.

> lick thread

uncurable mlady
Jan 13, 2008

get meow dis wack-ass crystal prison



> ford the river

Deviant
Sep 26, 2003

...identity dicks?



toby posted:

i rampaged around the forums but chooch cleaned it up

good guy, that chooch

i like choochoochoose you

Bohemian Cowabunga
Mar 24, 2008



it was just a bad dream, just a bad dream

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005


holy shit this os has cinepak?!?!?



changelog

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005


holy shit this os has cinepak?!?!?



CHANGELOG

read and not post
Aug 26, 2012


Toby can u pls change my username to something z0r and make my av this





it's me... z0r



this is my at work account and i can't buy a posting account because the forumseses store is down

tia (thanks in advance)

god bless

duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

~omnia delenda sunt~


birth certificate

got dat wmd
Apr 28, 2009


changelog in english please

got dat wmd
Apr 28, 2009


whz0re

BAKA FLOCKA FLAME
Oct 9, 2012

by Pipski


yospital

Peanut and the Gang
Aug 24, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


during the downtime, i turned off my computer. & beceause my hands werent heated by the warm glow of my screen, they froze to death in the cold winter shivers. rip.

Slaughterhouse-Ive
Sep 6, 2010

Listen: Sir Jony Ive has come unstuck in time.



toby posted:

i rampaged around the forums but chooch cleaned it up

good guy, that chooch

there's pollen on the forums?

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Number19
May 14, 2003

HOCKEY OWNS
FUCK YEAH




got dat wmd posted:

post post post

same

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