Post your million dollar ideas: Highdeas and Hulk Hogan meat shoes ITT

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Post your million dollar ideas: Highdeas and Hulk Hogan meat shoes ITT

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Small, transparent pockets in the pants of NFL uniforms that players can store pictures of their family and friends in. That way, when they're playing, they can look down at their pants and see something that makes them smile.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2013 04:30

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 02:14

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Cups that dissolve when exposed to carbonation (i.e. soda) so that you (the restaurant owner) can make sure that nobody asks for water and ends up stealing soda.

I independently arrived at the concept known as "Neo-Feudalism", called it "Corporate Feudalism", and intended to sell my idea to corporations so that we would finally pledge our allegiance to a MegaCorp.

Soda cans with either a transparent slot on the side or an "Aliens' Pulse Gun"-style "fluid ounce counter" so that I can keep track of how much is left.

A dog assassination service called the "Bark Brotherhood".

# ¿ Feb 25, 2013 21:59

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

The only problem is that your windshield might set your interior on fire if you left your car parked out in the sun. Or cause your chest to burst into flames while you drove your car.

It's a good idea, though.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2013 04:23

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Big Grunty Secret posted:

Why a different crane? In case they witnessed your heinous act?

Because it would be illegal if you used the same crane.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2013 05:35

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

El Estrago Bonito posted:

These totally exist! The asian market near my house has them, although the "can" part is just made of clear plastic and then the tops are metal pop top lids.

drat. I've come up with a lot of really good ideas in my lifetime.

A book full of "My Dad Works for Play-Doh" short stories. "From the playground".

# ¿ Feb 28, 2013 07:41

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Gin made out of cotton. Shirts that you can drink.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2013 23:09

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Denim newspapers.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2013 04:09

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

isnt that right posted:

Reusable plastic containers with locking lids that you can store left over food in.

3D Printer schematics for custom-fitted reusable plastic containers with locking lids (for left over food storage).

Speaking of which, we're all familiar with the Hulk Hogan Meat Shoe:

But which goon is responsible for this poo poo?

The fonts look suspiciously similar:

This abortion of an idea is convincingly real, though, judging by the website and the fact that it made #3 on Business Insider's "Top 10 Terrible Ideas Currently Being Executed".

# ¿ Mar 1, 2013 08:46

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

An iPhone case designed to prevent brain-cancer-causing radiation from excess phone usage.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2013 03:01

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

A Grand Theft Auto "ARG-lite" that involves characters from the game calling you on your (IRL!) cell phone. You can choose to ignore them or answer them and then hang up on them when they start soliciting you for rides and friendship.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2013 05:30

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Minarch posted:

A website where you can punch in all your favorite authors, bands, movies, and tv shows, and then it sends you an e-mail whenever somebody dies. Never miss an obscure celebrity death!

A Something Awful account upgrade that also does this but, in addition, automatically posts a thread in GBS about it the second it is reported.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2013 03:19

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Kart Barfunkel posted:

A white noise machine in public bathrooms that covers up the sound of deuce-dropping, for the publicly-shy. Also, would eliminate the need to knock.

Instead of white noise, the persistent sounds of strained bowel movements.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2013 01:02

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Pringle cans with a second lid at the bottom of the can.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2013 21:40

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Bring back "Dunkaroos", call them "Pringle Cookies".

# ¿ Mar 18, 2013 21:51

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Will it spoil me posted:

You know those guitars, that are like, double guitars?

Guitars with saddles, necks, and heads that separate from the body in a single piece, so you swap out entire sets of strings that have been tuned to different keys without needing a bunch of guitars.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2013 00:39

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

We could breed horses that poo less. If we refined the breed far enough, we might even be able to circumvent horse diapers altogether--we could really give the industry a real what-for! Maybe, every few months, the horses would simply pass a small, obsidian-like substance comprised of months' worth of food. And then we could inject ourselves with horse DNA and eliminate the need for public bathrooms.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2013 08:15

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Behold! A Elk! posted:

An intelligent spell check that understands the appropriate homonym based on context. I don't know weather or not anyone else here thinks it's a good idea.

Oh, oh, I see what you did there.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2013 19:34

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

i hate everything posted:

Nooo! My millions of dollars!
Though that's a little more sush' and a lot less 'rrito than I was imagining.

They definitely took your name, though, so you'll need a new one: "Mexican Sushi".

# ¿ Sep 21, 2013 09:16

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

On that note, trash that you can eat, instead of throwing away. Like, imagine a McDonald's wrapper, but on other foods.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2013 05:02

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Little peep holes on toilet stall doors so you can see who wants to come in. The "Peeple Peeper (while you're peeing and pooing)". It's really strange that in the year 2013, we're still peeking through the cracks in the door like subhumans.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2013 05:49

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Hulebr00670065006e posted:

Why the? What the?
How often do people try to get in to your stall? And more importantly, why do you want to see who it is?

I hope I'm not the only one finding this really strange

It doesn't happen all of the time, but it happens often enough that a peep hole might actually be more dignified than the current method.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2013 20:32

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Elim Garak posted:

Why is anyone knocking to begin with, and why would the answer be anything other than "occupied" no matter who it is?

Judging from the frequency with which pictures of toilets show up--even on this very forums--I can only assume a similar motive for many of these people.

Elim Garak posted:

I think this my first quote is not edit, but while I'm here, this also confuses me:

Are you eating your McDonald's wrappers or am I missing something?

Rice paper is edible.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2013 03:42

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

cyberia posted:

Fake edit - who is generating so much trash while they're driving that they need a dedicated rubbish disposal solution in their car?

Well first off, people who eat at Burger King.

quote:

How hard is it to grab whatever trash you've created as you're getting out of the car and throw it in the nearest bin?

Well, do you really want to have to stick your fingers between the door and the passenger seat so you can fish out that last piece of trash? Or comb through the floor mat to make sure all the dirt, crumbs, and hair clippings are removed? Do you really have time--after winding yourself with two pounds of burger meat--to clean up the Sbarro pizza box that has trapped itself under your seat? Probably not.

New invention: Disposable floor mats (with curved edges, to trap trash). "Trash mats".

EDIT: We could even expand into various trash mat themes: Tribal patterned trash mats. Tweetie Bird trash mats. Ed Hardy trash mats.

Cream-of-Plenty has a new favorite as of 04:45 on Oct 10, 2013

# ¿ Oct 10, 2013 04:41

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Rack posted:

A toaster for towels. It's like a toaster oven, but you put towels in there while you're in the shower. Then you get out and there's a warm towel waiting for you.

You could also put like, jackets and socks in there too I guess. I just hate being cold when I get out of the shower.

You can already make one of these out of an ordinary toaster oven. Just go buy a cheap one (~$20), set it up on your bathroom counter, stick your towel of choice inside, and then take a shower.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2013 04:10

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

An alphabetized keyboard.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2013 00:21

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

A companion guide to "The Office" (U.S. Series) that gives play-by-play evidence of the fact that the show is actually a cautionary tale. Here, we have Jim Halpert, a healthy and intelligent man in the prime of his life, who fears stagnation and a life sentence in corporate limbo; here we have Jim Halpert 6 years later, married to the receptionist and with child on the way. Here was have Jim Halpert after 9 years: He and his wife are prepared to die at their desks like Japanese soldiers in remote island bunkers during WW2. Here we have Jim Halpert looking at the camera, eyes wide. Here we have Jim Halpert, middle-aged and world weary. He has climbed the corporate ladder at a glacial pace, and been subjected to untold managerial incompetence. I imagine the series finale being him killing himself on his lunch break. It is a tragedy.

"The Office".

# ¿ Nov 7, 2013 07:56

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

A new feature for Netflix Instant that randomly plays items from your list. Sort of like a "shuffle" feature, except for all of your movies and TV shows.

Even better, a "genius"-style feature that automatically plays similar things from your list based off of whatever you choose to view first.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 00:01

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 02:14

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

"Hey bud, got a light?"
"Hey man, don't need a light." Drags cigarette tip against his stubble and the tip bursts into flames.
"WHOOOOOA."
Self-lighting cigarettes.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2013 00:41

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