Rant Zone: it has stopped fucking snowing - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Cycle Asylum > Rant Zone: it has stopped fucking snowing

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

-Inu- posted:

"have you guys (referring to my friend and I) ever tried each other?"

What?

# ¿ Jul 22, 2013 00:51

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 12:36

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Related topic, we bought a used brake caliper on eBay recently and one of these came in the box with it. Somewhere on it, it says "abortion stops a beating heart". The shipment came from Texas.

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Aug 10, 2013

# ¿ Aug 10, 2013 00:07

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

You obviously don't get it or you'd be grateful for his obnoxious antisocial noisemaking.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2013 16:19

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

That kind of poo poo should be prosecuted the same way the stunters are when they gently caress up the freeways. Just cause you have American flags all over you doesn't make disruptive antisocial behavior ok.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2013 01:35

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Read an article once that suggested it was a good idea to swerve back and forth like that in your lane when approaching intersections and cars about to turn left and poo poo. To make yourself more visible. Something about the human eye being more attuned to left/right motion.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2013 19:37

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

I envy you guys. I've got a K100RS listed since like June and literally no responses at all. Currently priced at 2700 which I think is a decent deal. I don't even get your insulting and poorly spelled lowballs.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2013 14:16

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

My official estimate whenever anyone consults us for an insurance claim: A MILLION

# ¿ Sep 11, 2013 23:51

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

HNasty posted:

I'm #90 but #1 in your hearts, right guys. This conversation reminded me that this poo poo never happens to me. I've been riding for over 14+ years and I've never had anyone try to purposefully run me off the road, well maybe I have and just don't remember but it seems to be a daily occurrence with some riders. I've never crashed cause of gravel in a corner, or oil or diesel (which I know is euro problem). I'm not accosted by stories of uncle's neighbor's brother dying at 200mph when people find out I ride a motorcycle. I mean I've heard those stories but not enough that they're any sort of problem. People don't merge into me all day long, I don't know I'm sort of statistical mutant.

*edit, just remembered I crashed n8r's bike cause of gravel, but that was a gravel road not a few rocks in the road.

Yeah same. I figured it was because I live in a nice place with no people around so nothing happens here. Someone did kinda merge into me once in Utah, but I hit the brakes and tooted my horn and was never in any real danger. I have however met a number of people who've stated they had to lay it down, for carefully weighed safety reasons, calculated in their head over the course of 200 milliseconds in a panic stop.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2013 03:22

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

HNasty posted:

Since I guess this is the bitching and moaning thread, what the gently caress is up with god drat nerds on reddit naming their bikes. Holy gently caress that's lame, I saw one today where some guy named his bike Audrey.

It's almost never an interesting bike or a name that relates to the bike, either, on reddit. A purple Benelli named Violetta? No. "Audrey" was an old CB700. At least it wasn't beat up and it wasn't a CB650 and it wasn't an anime name, I guess. Do these people just give extra feminine girls' names to everything they own? All their plain items with no personality? Do they name their loving iPhones and coffee machines? "Yeah I got done drinking April's hazelnut mocha this morning and then Marylin took a call from Steve for me and I had to ride Audrey in to work early and...oh LOL sorry you don't know what I'm talking about. Let me introduce you to all my girls."

# ¿ Oct 10, 2013 06:46

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

spixxor posted:

A guy I know named his old bike Night Fury which I can't help but kinda think was neat, but then I love that movie. It was a CBR something or other. I don't name my vehicles but then I'm a chic and that seems to be more of a guy thing to do.

The BMW club magazine has quite a number of people, women too, who name their bikes. One girl named her KLR "Cart-her." Cause it carts her around.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2013 18:43

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Xovaan posted:

Am I crazy for liking riding alone?

No

quote:

have't really ever had a desire to just go and ride for the sake of riding.

Now you're crazy. Unless you have a lovely bike or live in a lovely place or something.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2013 01:33

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

M42 posted:

Favorite part of that pic is the trailer hitch. Dude went all the way with that bike.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2013 19:57

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

It's nice being a bike mechanic with those conversations. People know that about you and they don't try to talk you out of it, cause obviously you're not getting talked out of it, it's just what you do.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2013 05:31

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Snowdens Secret posted:

Walking around in a full leather outfit is always a crowd pleaser. If I had one as stylish as RevDrMosesPLester's Ducati suit I'd wear that poo poo everywhere.

I'd wear that poo poo everywhere too but it's a loving old suit and it's actually rather poorly designed. I had to add some armor to it myself with needle and thread, no stretch panels at the joints, not comfortable at all.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2013 04:11

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

M42 posted:

However, last night I really wanted to repeat "bike is extremely clean" over and over while wildly gesticulating at problem areas (the entire bike), eyes rolling violently

People have different definitions for words. We had someone bring in an old Vespa to have a "restoration" job polished up, finished off kinda. They thought it was mostly rebuilt and ready to go. Maybe just needed some rubbing compound and new grips and a seat, right? Among the things wrong with it were a number of the cables installed with NO OUTER CABLE. Inner cables with no outer cables that were just run through the cable slots in the body. I mean holy poo poo.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2013 00:46

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Snowdens Secret posted:

If someone was going to wax poetic about fixing up an old BMW I'd expect it to be RevDrMo anyway

The guy actually had nearly the same model bike as me. But I heard the book sucked.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2013 14:41

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Recently exchanged emails with a very annoying guy about an old BMW we had for sale. He wrote emails like you'd expect an eccentric used car salesman from the south to talk. With random font size changes and spelling/grammatical errors. He beat around the bush asking questions about it for the longest time, talking about arranging shipping which we discussed and then he said he said he was going to have a friend pick it up. Talked on and on about things that were clearly just filler conversation, deliberately wasting text as if he thought it would drive the price down. "Well you know with the winter coming up the bike may be dreaming about heading down south for the winter and we shall see if it gets a nice trip south now huh?" Made incorrect statements about the mechanical layout of the bike in an effort to talk the price down suggesting we hadn't done maintenance that it might need. I corrected him and he says, "my understanding of the design is a bit different, but that's neither here nor there, <more meaningless text>." No, your understanding isn't different, it's wrong, dipshit. After all that crap I finally got an offer out of him, we didn't like it, but sales were poo poo this year so we said we'd just take it. He never responded.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2013 20:17

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Z3n posted:

As much as I instinctively don't like these walls of text, I agree with everything in there.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2013 02:37

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Where is it you live, again, where the police politely harass you on the phone all the time? Sounds like a Kids in the Hall segment.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2014 03:36

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

He's one of those people HNasty and I blog about.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 16:25

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

http://www.reddit.com/r/bikesgonewild/comments/1vssnz/took_my_girl_for_a_quick_spin_downtown_today_she/
http://www.reddit.com/r/bikesgonewild/comments/1vyesa/she_gets_a_little_red_in_the_face_when_in_the_nude/
http://www.reddit.com/r/bikesgonewild/comments/1w00t4/my_girl_necked_on_the_side_of_the_road/
http://www.reddit.com/r/bikesgonewild/comments/1vzp9t/its_been_a_while_since_ive_been_naked_in_front_of/
http://www.reddit.com/r/bikesgonewild/comments/1w04b1/nude_party/

So sick of this creepy pathetic poo poo. gently caress all these people. Put your fedora on, go back inside to your desk covered with anime figurines and finish your PHP code, freaks. loving hate reddit.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2014 04:57

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

So is there an internet war between SA and youtube? Or SA and reddit?

# ¿ Jan 24, 2014 19:27

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Is Asphalt and Rubber like Iron and Resin or is it like Blood and Oil or Iron and Air or Seaweed and Gravel?

# ¿ Jan 29, 2014 05:00

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Sagebrush posted:

You know when you were a kid and your dad was shaving and you'd pretend-shave beside him because you thought it made you look grown-up? Everything Redditors do is that same talismanic grasping at symbols of adulthood and sophistication tinged with an air of desperately overthinking it while completely missing the point.

If I use a real straight-razor and make my own lather with a badger brush then that makes me manly and attractive, even though I have scraggly unkempt hair and I'm 50 pounds overweight. If I wear a fedora it will make me cool and sophisticated, even though I'm wearing it with jorts and a le meme t-shirt. If I smoke an ecig then I look hard-boiled and interesting, even though my baby palate means I have to puff candy-flavored clouds of nicotine water from a robot's dick.

drat that's good writing. We need that guy on our blog. He just slam dunked every video we've ever posted without even seeing them.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 01:16

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

The_Raven posted:

The worst part for me is that they use good I4 bikes. For chrissakes, can't these douches start with a KZ400 or some other paratwin commuter? It's truer to the cafe ethos, isn't it?

Let's not overstate this. A KZ400 is poo poo, obviously, but any Japanese i4 from the 70s/80s is very nearly as much poo poo.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 19:53

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

I once gave away free two shitpile bikes on craigslist, and it was still that much hassle.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 00:33

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Coredump posted:

Did they ask you you're best price on the free bikes?

Several people were like "I WANT IT I GOTTA HAVE IT WHAT'LL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO HOLD IT FOR ME I'M ONLY 3 HOURS AWAY"
When I specifically said first come first serve, because I'm not getting anything out of it so I don't want to waste my time negotiating agreements.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 18:23

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Every time I look through the K&L catalog I see EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS worth of poo poo I absolutely have to have. But I don't have eight thousand dollars.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2014 03:43

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Fun trip with a fun passenger. http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=960174

As a BMW owner

, my favorite part is

quote:

Outside were several motorcyclists, all clad in HD gear and all having a good time. Three more pullrf up, scowling at the world as they do their vest-clad Charles Bronson stern-and-forbidding routine. The tough guy thing is foreign to me. If not for my full-face helmet the whole world would notice that I grin and laugh as I ride. Not these three. One took a look at my protective gear and scowled even more.

�If I was so afraid of riding that I had to wear that poo poo, I�d give it up,� he announces to the world in a disdainful tone.

�If I rode as slow as you,� I responded, �I wouldn�t need any gear.�

YEAH
SUCK IT HARLEY

# ¿ Mar 9, 2014 03:13

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

nsaP posted:

I just do the look, but most of the time I see a face profile staring at a screen.

Riding through Utah, a woman on the interstate cut me off kinda close as she was trying to merge into the fast lane with me. I honked, she pulled back over to the right, I sped up along side her and looked at her and she waved and mouthed "sorry" and I waved back. Lovely people in Utah.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2014 20:59

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Cycle Asylum � Cycle Asylum Glass Is Half Empty Chamber

# ¿ Apr 3, 2014 00:02

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Wait, is it a limbo bar?

# ¿ Apr 4, 2014 02:16

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Z3n posted:

I find the opposite is true - all the heated gloves/gear in the world doesn't save you if your core is freezing, whereas with a heated vest everything stays nice and toasty, especially if I have handguards.

This is my experience.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2014 00:52

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

I'm pretty sure linked brakes don't alter the feel either. Unless you're Marquez and you have one wheel off the ground all the time or something. The only ABS brakes I've ever used that felt bad were the BMW IABS systems. It was indeed poo poo. But that was just one model they used, and discontinued before too long. And no other bike has ever had anything like it.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2014 00:38

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Slavvy posted:

poo poo into a plastic bag. Put the bag into your freezer until it's solid. Sneak into her house and distribute the poo liberally using a cheese grater.

Is that what people do in New Zealand when they're done wheelieing red dirt bikes with no exhaust around all day?

# ¿ May 23, 2014 00:04

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

nsaP: 1
International Zionist Conspiracy: 0

# ¿ May 26, 2014 00:59

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Depending on the part, BB does take a really long time sometimes though. BB is usually a last resort for me, if I have to order from BB I know I'm not getting anything done quickly or easily.

# ¿ May 29, 2014 00:17

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

Frosty- posted:

how he loves to get his knee down because he can really feel it catch the wind and help him turn like some kind of airbrake

I'll have you know that this was exactly one of the reasons given by BT commentators for MotoGP riders using "the Doctor's dangle" waving their inside leg off the peg when approaching a turn.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2014 02:19

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

M42 posted:

FWIW my ninjette came lowered, and only when I returned it to stock height did I realize how lovely it handled before because the geometry was way out of whack. If you're lowering the back, lower the forks as well.

E: pull the forks up I mean. Though now that I think about it, I don't even know if you can do that on the ninjette.

If you wanna get crazy with it, there are places who can cut down and rethread your fork tubes to a custom height. We did that with one of our race bikes.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2014 14:09

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 12:36

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester: Oct 3, 2000

I rode a BMW with original panniers on it through California once. Didn't even try to split, everything looked way too narrow for me. All the other bikes just whizzed by, made me grumpy.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2014 02:06

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