vyelkin posted:

Friendlies don't count.



In competitive fixtures, Jozy has scored a grand total of one (1) goal against a non-poo poo team. Much like his record in the Premier League, in fact.

Crunkjuice posted:

Oh get off it. It was the confed cup semis against casillas, pique, puyol, david villa, xavi, torres, fabregas, capdevila, xabi alonso, ramos, reira. Cazorla and Mata were subs. Not exactly a poo poo squad there.

Paddyb posted:

That's too bad because this thread is repetitive as hell and 35 pages long and poo poo.

Mean Bean Machine posted:

It's funny to me that most of the "trolls" that constantly harass Jozy fans and the man himself are British; do I sense some jealousy? Gazing over Wikipedia's list of top England scorers, most of these forwards are completely unknown or playing for smaller teams like Nottingham Forest and Leeds. One name jumps at me though, and it's Wayne Rooney. No, I'm not joking, one of the least fit and athletic players in professional soccer has scored loads of goals in England. How does that happen? Well, look at his bio and you'll find out: he's been playing for almost all his life at Manchester, probably the best franchise ever in that country. Not only that, but he has scored nearly all of their penalty kicks, free kicks, corner kicks, goal kicks and the sort. You get my drift. Think it's not farfetched to say that if Jozy played for years in a team like Manchester he would have the same amount of goals as Rooney, or maybe even more, and even the Jozyhaters would agree to that. So the next time one of these "trolls" invade our safe haven, just utter the words Roo-ins, that'll be sure to send a shiver down their spines. For the rest of you believers, carry on!

black.lion posted:

Except Jozy is Haitian.

Casual racism etc.

Your Weird Uncle posted:

i sincerely hope you aren't english

Monday Bandele posted:

Is it a racial thing? I am not making an accusation, but they do only pass the ball to him when there is no other choice. I only mention racism because of the whole if you can hire a Nazi, I reckon you are not squeamish about a little racism between white folks eh?

Note if it matters I am a white guy but the PDC angle and the outright freeze out of JA does give me some pause.

Mean Bean Machine posted:

What a win for Sunderland, and what a performance from Josmer. Eliminated one of the strongest teams in the competition and it was all thanks to another sumptuous assist from Josmer Altidore who never stopped fighting and unselfishly passed the ball for the goal that tied it all up close to the 90th minute, and was crucial in dragging defenders away from Ki when the Korean scored the winning goal. I was glued to my seat but thankfully Gus Poyet didn't leave Jozy glued to his and had the common sense to play the USA Athlete of the Year, who was crucial in another win for the Black Cats. Stick that in your little chart.

Puseklepp posted:

He's got the skills to be a solid starter for a top PL team, the stats don't lie.

Von Linus posted:

During todays match the commentators said that Jozy was unplayable against Newcastle but not with the tone of disgust and loathing that I expected as though he was unplayable because he'd done a big poo poo in his pants, but instead almost like they were trying to say he was good then. Was that the case?

jazzyhattrick posted:

I wouldn't fancy jozy to bag one of he was CEO of a loving bag company.

Shrapnig posted:

Bolded Joe-Max Moore scored 4 time as many goals as Jozy in the Premier League and was pretty universally regarded as poo poo.

red_blip posted:

Haha, yeah okay so... was he the worst? Can anyone think of someone that was less effective with the time given to them? (Not including injuries)

Ninpo posted:

I genuinely can't, even Jason Lee had more goals in the Premier League than Jozy. Park Chu Young maybe, but he's played 8 minutes of league football.

cadfael posted:

I want to see him twat one in, he does have something in his locker other than pies.



This was basically the only goal he scored in Holland from outside the box, but still.

porkface posted:

Every day I see 50 posts as if something happened.

vaginal culture posted:

If you identify as one, then you are one. Jozy is abusing these tolerant 21st century mores

Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:

Source your quotes.

Ponce de Le0n posted:

joshtothemaxx posted:

My favorite part is that Jozy is always always always compared to other black players.

jazzyhattrick posted:

CD Magnet: The CD stands for Chocolate Digestives.

MoPZiG posted:

Has Jozy entered the pantheon of worst premiership strikers yet?

trem_two posted:

At his age he needs to be playing regularly and scoring goals. 3 more seasons at a drinking club that seems to have a bit of buyer's remorse about Jozy, will see him at 27 with his confidence shot to hell and 3 years of bad habits learned. His value will have cratered, and he'll still have another 6-7 years of playing time head of him.

What I'm saying is that Jozy should give thought to taking a loan move to someplace that wants him and waiving part of his wages from Sunderland if that's what it takes to get a season-long loan move to, say, PSV through. Yes, it's giving up cash now, but doing something to improve his 2016 marketability, improve his skill level, and avoid the frustration and embarrassment of hanging around with what Ron Atkinson would probably describe as a bunch of fu**ing lazy, thick alcoholic wankers.

Ewar Woowar posted:

I've watched a couple of Sunderland games and they are a bad team. The USMNT has better talent than Sunderland and that's why Jozy plays better with the national team than with Sunderland. Let's not forget the sub-par coaching Sunderland had all year and big club rejects that surrounded Jozy. Jozy will be 25 this year so he really has one more chance in Europe to prove to himself he can play with the elite.

J Hume posted:

There are some good meltdowns in the comments here: http://www.soccerbyives.net/2014/04/altidore-sunderland-tottenham.html but it sounds like people are slowly accepting the truth.

Eric Cantonese posted:

Anyone watch Altidore's hat trick against Bosnia Herzegovina this past summer. The goals were based upon counter attacking with pace and through balls. Altidore despite his size does not play with his back to the goal. Expecting him to do that was naive. Perhaps if someone had looked at how he scored goals they either shouldn't have signed him, or played to his strength. At this point his confidence is shot, and probably got shipped off to the U-21s for questioning GPs tactics (which didn't work well at White Hart Lane).

vaginal culture posted:

Bring me some lulzy jozy tweets/bigsoccer posts

big soccer posted:

I've been saying it all season. I know it's not exciting or groovy, but S'land is better with Jozy on the field. Oh well. Spanking has begun.


Bear in mind that Sunderland has also had a lionshare of the ball in the first half. Creating many more opportunties than Jozy has seen in 3 full games this year.


I just heard that too. I just took it as you trying to justify Wickham. Lets be honest. He's had the ball a few times and looked like a child.


When I was a little kid, I wanted Jason Garrett to start over Troy Aikman when Aikman was playing poorly, which is just...lol. Poyet still thinks this way, apparently.


Sunderland win a throw down near the City corner flag... and Wickham takes it. Any other questions?
Moments later, Wickham looks shy to fight for a low Johnson cross that is actually really good.


let's be honest, no one could miss that.


how do you explain Wickham having 19 total turnovers in these last four games (4.75 average) when Altidore averages 2.7 total TO's per game?


Right now Jozy's brand in England is basically worthless. Unless something happens, I don't see any club in the EPL trying to get him. The S'land fans aren't helping, pushing him to the top in any voting about "worst player in the league" poll.

vyelkin posted:

He's a five tool striker: hammer, saw, drill, sander, level.


lol they act like "has the ball more often" is a damning stat instead of a sign of how worthless Jozy is.

Blue Screen Error posted:

You could probably make a whole Wutang pun team. e.g. Inspectah Cech, Ghostface Kenny Miller

Ewar Woowar posted:

This is pretty much the only thread on trp I can handle after Liverpool lose.

Thank you Jozy for being so entertainingly poo poo at football.