Star Trek: ...And The Neckbeards Shall Post

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I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Zonko_T.M. posted:

Also Gary 7 is the worst Star Trek episode and a show based on it would've been awful. Just saying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Omm16abxjYI

# ¿ Oct 23, 2013 17:17

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# ¿ May 7, 2024 10:45

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

He writes with a pen on a loving datapadd. His whole schtick is to be anachronistic. If Jake Sisko were a modern teen, he'd be a goddamn hipster. And probably a vocal vegan who thinks not even animals should eat meat, because it's so savage.

gettin about one vegan hipster I know in specific o'er here

He's still the only child character we see unwilling to enthusiastically join the military elite that rule the federation.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2013 23:41

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Binary Badger posted:

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is back up on Netflix!

Watch this cinematic masterpiece and you will bear witness to such dazzling scenes as:

Bearded McCoy with disco medallion berates the Shat for using a 'reserve activation clause!'

Sulu practices his wide-eyed 'holy poo poo' face for hours on end!

Witness Spock's bad case of constipation almost all through the movie!

The first appearance of the Refit Enterprise!

Some bald lady breaks out of Sick Bay! (Good thing their doors are made out of aluminum foil!)

The first filmed teleporter accident since Wolf in The Fold!

Acting so wooden you'll swear you can hear the woodpecker tapping on Kirk's leg!

All this and more!

Also the Kojack bald chick has her vow of chastity on file! What does that mean? No idea, but Checkov loves it!

# ¿ Jan 2, 2014 05:31

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Trent posted:

Did they ever explain why it made sense for the cardassians to put an ore processing plant on a space station instead of just on the ground? Seems like it'd be a lot more difficult.

All slavery in Star Trek must involve mining.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2014 06:28

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Thom12255 posted:

Admiral Ross was the nicest Admiral Star Trek has ever had.

Was he Carl's goofy friend from Family Matters? If so, I agree.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2014 04:29

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

An Old Boot posted:

Has this been posted yet.

Also this. Compliments of this guy.

EDIT: in that vein, holy gently caress, I totally forgot the poo poo-awful clown from the Thaw was Morris Fletcher in the X-Files. Good god, man.

Wait until you see Spinal Tap.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 05:20

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

McSpanky posted:

At some point he has to take off his fake beard, which 90s CG-morphs him from fat TATV Will Riker into TNG-era Tom Riker. He was wearing a TIME BEARD!!

Then he puts on his real beard, turns around, and winks again. It was double-secret Will Riker.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2014 04:40

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

I was going to make a joke about George Takei's birthday being 4/20 because he'd be the most likely star trek dude to smoke down, but in trying to find out if any other star trek people have said anything about pot, I found this awesome article about Nimoy from the 70s:

http://leonardnimoy.de/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1296:i-was-a-teen-age-wallflower&catid=23:articles-and-quotes&Itemid=11

quote:

What they do want to know is �what would you do, Leonard Nimoy if you found your sixteen-year-old daughter smoking pot?�

I was present when this bold question was asked Leonard recently at a high school press conference. It made my breath catch in my throat. At the same time I was crossing my fingers, hoping he would give an acceptable answer (acceptable to Them) without blowing his cool, I was thanking Heaven I wasn�t the one who�d been asked.

There was a pause, while he gathered his thoughts, then a smile.
�I�m not about to make a pronouncement for or against teenagers smoking pot, I�m not qualified to be a substitute parent or counselor. Nor will I tell you exactly how I would handle a personal family matter. But I will say this:
�I do not believe in anarchy. And I�ll tell you why. If we chose to ignore all laws that displeased or inconvenienced us, the time would inevitably come when all law and order would disappear and only disaster could come from such a situation.

�I do believe we are seeing some phenomenal changes in our courts and the law-making branches of our government...and certainly, most of them are for the better.

�But I also believe we adults tend to become more and more rigid as we grow older. We want to take away from our children the privilege of experimentation we insisted upon for ourselves. We tend to shut the door and say �OK. I�ve tried that. But I won�t let my kids try it.� The Boston Tea Party was a direct act of civil disobedience. Things that are unacceptable in one generation often become legalized in the next, or vice versa. That�s called progress, By the same token, I do not enjoy hypocrisy. Each case must be judged on its own merit. We must ask, �Am I doing this because it is a wild thing to buck the establishment, or because there is real value in it for me. Have I weighed and considered all aspects?�

�I get very annoyed, for example, when I hear someone say, �I take LSD and it�s done wonderful things for me, but I wouldn�t recommend it for general public use.� That confuses me. What does that mean? Has he such a tremendous ego that he believes he can handle a situation some lesser person would not be able to control? Is his so much more intelligent, so much more mature than his contemporaries?

�You asked a fair question, though perhaps a little rough (smile), and I want to give you a fair answer. I can only tell you to think long and hard before you do anything that seems tempting simply because the rules say �forbidden�. Most rules, not all, mind you... but most, were made for valid reasons. If you�re going to go about breaking them, make sure you are prepared to face the consequences .. and I don�t just mean getting arrested.�

The boy who had asked the question smiled. He knew the kind of sweat he put the TV star through, and his smile was one of gratification. Like, �Man, you came through O.K.� The boy was as interested in seeing if he could shake up the adult as he was in the answer he would get. �I�m gonna see if I can make Spock blow his cool.� Success would have been bitter. But losing was groovy. Spock lived up to his image. He didn�t back down. He was logical. He was cool.

Look at that cool dude. I wonder if he ever blazed with Sagan.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2014 02:37

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

JediTalentAgent posted:

I think a plot that actually gave Kirk a storyline of his own in the film would have helped Generations even if you ended up keeping most else the same.

Kirk instigating the TNG era Nexus developments by successfully getting free on his own during Soran's experiments might have helped. It brings him into the main story sooner, and it gives him a chance to do more. He's a wild card trying to operate and is struggling to understand the new universe he's stepped into, figure out Soran's game on his own, eventually crosses paths with TNG crew who similarly don't know what to make of him.

That's going to be sad though, like the episode with Scotty.

It feels a lot more true to the spirit of the character and the old show (not the movies, really) to just have him be up for some loving adventure without really knowing what's up. He just knows it's up to the old double-fisted hammerblow and low-swing kick to save the universe again.

I actually really like the way Shatner plays his death scene. He seems to get really surprised right before he kicks. It's like he never really considered the possibility that he could die on one of his stupid, insane adventures until it actually happens.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2014 22:54

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

betaraywil posted:

Roommate just sent me this meditation on the marshmallow dispenser from The Final Frontier:
http://thedissolve.com/features/adventures-in-licensing/713-a-dubious-star-trek-v-scene-inspired-a-dubious-pro/

Those internet film critics sure have their heads lovingly jammed right up their own asses, but I nodded along politely as I read it.

You have to give them credit for trying to popularize a snack that probably has zero market penetration outside of being used to make smores. Jet Puffed is probably routinely smoked by, like, gumdrops and candy cigarettes. The one guy in the basement office next to the bathrooms heard that they were using marshmallows in the latest Star Trek movie and risked it all on a product placement deal.

Then they moved his office inside the bathroom.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2014 15:18

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Gonz posted:

A blue and white "Federation" uniform? Who knew that the Federation had a strict dress code for all it's citizens?

I think they're that weird sex space cult founded by a French race car driver after he had a stroke. Their cosmology is just suspiciously similar to many things from tv and movies.

I will always regret not going to one of their space orgies when it happened in my town, though probably I would have regretted going just as much.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2014 00:34

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Trickjaw posted:

Shat looks like its only his meds and nanites keeping him ambulatory. Its truly a confused 80 year old face there.

Sundowning's started early tonight. Must have been the plane trip.

Do Dorn and Frakes have the same glasses?

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 00:18

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Nessus posted:

I guess perhaps Sisko was simply less famous. DS9, while a far better product, seems to have been less an element of popular culture than TNG was.

e: Alternately his tenure as a commander of a space station colored people's opinions, and his relatively low rank cast a shadow on his career, in the eyes of the fans.

Are you suggesting something about white male computer nerds of the 1990s and their ability to perceive certain colors, or people who were colored in some specific way?

# ¿ Sep 21, 2014 21:45

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Say what you will about his horrific serial rapes of children, that man knew cereal box cross promotions better than most.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2014 16:06

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Perhaps the loss of his beloved star trek forum and volunteer work cataloguing toy packaging will convince him that it was wrong to rape a child.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2014 17:01

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

But on the other hand, David Warner.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2014 01:23

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Trent posted:

OSC is a terrible person. That has no reflection on the work as a work. The Bible is still an important read even if the ostensible author is evil, after all. Do I have to stop watching any movie with a scientologist in it?

You should if they're still alive because they also use their paychecks to abuse the civil rights of others. If they're dead it shouldn't matter, but Jerry Maguire money probably helped starve a few apostates to death. I don't want that on my head.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2014 13:57

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

The only thing I know about Ender's Game is that the actor who plays Harrison Ford's character's assistant is named Han Soto. That is enough.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2014 18:29

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

SolidSnakesBandana posted:

Meanwhile, in Star Trek Online...

Talaxians teamin up with the Klingons. I guarantee you nobody loving asked for a Talaxian playable race.

I'll spare everyone the close-up on his scabby rat feet:

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 02:40

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Unbelievably Fat Man posted:

That could actually be an interesting trait for a character to have. My wife is Mexican and whenever we go see her family she freaks out because she feels very disconnected from her heritage.

Voyager would have Harry Kim get upset that Neelix doesn't know how to make pupu platters though.

"Hello everyone, I've made some traditional Chinese food from my homeland. This is called General Gau's Chicken, revered as the spiciest and most exotic dish in Asia. If it's too much for you, I also have chop suey, which my grandmother learned to make from her grandmother. And we finish with an ancient confection my ancestors called salmon tacos with mango-lime salsa."

# ¿ Nov 8, 2014 18:25

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Logical1234 posted:

I really don't get the use of this smiley, are you shocked at my probable stupidity, or something else I said?

Also, while I'm on here, here's something I kinda find interesting about Nu-Spock is during Kirk's rise to the Enterprise chair. If what I've gathered from some sources are right, then Spock Prime slowly accepted his humanity throughout the course of the original timeline, but because off all the poo poo Nu-Spock went through because of Nero, he had to accept his human side much faster. So if you really think about it, Nu-Spock's bursts of murderous rage make a lot more sense in hindsight. Spock Prime is zen because he's found inner peace with his human side. Nu-Spock is being forced to confront the death of his human mother, the loss of his planet, and the fact that his 'race' is now endangered, plus Kirk's insults about how he must not feel anything also stab his weak points about his social isolation from either race he hails from. And this happens all around the same time, giving Spock no way to control his emotions,

So in short, Spock trying to murder Kirk... Is actually really well throughout. Kirk basically attacked Spock's weak points on one of the worst days of Spock's life. It's actually.... Pretty...... LOGICAl. (I Couldn't resist.)

Also here's a question I would like to ask the Trek fans here. If the original Star Trek was about a exploration through the universe, then of course character developement would be different for the character. In the new timeline, its like you pressed a nuke and boom, sent ripples throughout time. But what I'm asking really is, do you think the new timeline's Kirk, Spock, etc, are the same characters but put through a more violent development cycle? I have no idea, but you guys might.

But anyways, I'll watch the first episode of the original series today and give me thoughts on it. This is gonna be fun.

They just wanted to remake it with younger actors but not make fans of the old show angry.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2014 14:31

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Prison Warden posted:

So on my DS9 watch-through I just got to Paradise in season 2. "We don't care that this woman wilfully let people die for ten years and forced us to all eat lovely plants and freeze in winter because she gave us ~*community*~." "We don't know if we'll leave the machine on," are you making GBS threads me? What a load of poo poo, it's weird how often Star Trek occasionally does this luddite poo poo. Sisko remains awesome for seeing right through all this crap from minute one.

I sometimes wonder if DS9 has been deliberately introducing societies that have a garbage culture just to put it's tolerance message to the test. It's easy to be tolerant when all the aliens are noble or clever. Less so when they are sexist and leave skin flakes everywhere, I suppose.

The part two episodes ago where everyone goes to look for O'Brien and Bashir because Keiko notices Miles never drinks coffee in the afternoon... except he totally does is one of the funniest things I've seen in all of Star trek, so that was pretty sweet.

They do a pretty good job of tolerating Quark, the covetous, lustful space jew, just reminding him that he's a second-class parasite and usually stopping short of purging him and his family from their noble utopia.

# ¿ Nov 10, 2014 02:53

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Foreign and normal

# ¿ Nov 15, 2014 20:55

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Yeah it's like a heavy-handed allegory or something.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2014 00:28

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

It's that or ghost candle sex, right? Did she ever do anything else? Did she try to rescue Picard from David Warner that one time?

# ¿ Nov 17, 2014 03:04

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

McSpanky posted:

I loved how they lampshaded/inverted that on Farscape by occasionally implying that Crichton's human attributes were subpar compared to others on the crew, and measured in general against most bipedal aliens, humans are just mediocre physical specimens. I think even Hynerians have a better sense of taste or something.

Of course we all know that humans are superior!!!

Humans are mediocre at everything while each alien species excels at one particular thing, and so our mediocrity allows us to defeat them every time. That is our true gift: kind of logical, somewhat creative, not totally slow, usually about strong enough, and with a fair mix of emotions. When outmatched in one category, just kind of fumble about with some of the others until you win.

Humans: the solid C+ students of the universe.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2014 05:27

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

I think that when Data tells the computer to create an opponent capable of beating him and he beats Moriarty, it takes revenge on him in the next episode by offering Joe Piscopo as history's greatest comedian.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2014 11:50

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

SolidSnakesBandana posted:

Hmmm, a random TV sci-fi show I've never heard of? Worth checking out?

It was way ahead of it's time, conceptually trying out some of the (good) ground that Battlestar Galactica covered, but with a mid-90s budget. It's by Glen Morgan and James Wong, the two best regular writers for the X-Files. Reruns ended up on the sci-fi channel around 2000 because some Space fan club paid sponsor money equal to the other advertisers.

Joe Bob says check it out.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2014 00:44

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Vagabundo posted:

Sisko was still grieving from the death of his wife and struggling to come to terms with it. Picard was, at the end of the day, an easy target to direct his anger towards and Sisko recognises this once he comes to term with what happened.

I like that Picard just kind of gives up being nice to Sisko when he realizes that Sisko is pissed at him for that time he went evil. He plays it like that happens to him all the time.

You have to figure that most Federation people who know his name must know it for that and not for all the planet-saving and stopping the ship from blowing up he did on the show. It would have been fun for some of the aliens he called from the bridge to freak out seeing him on the screen.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2014 01:43

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

SolidSnakesBandana posted:

I can't believe I spelled Mr. Stewart's name wrong. I am so loving ashamed.

Do you tell yourself that in the third person while doing the Stewart voice?

# ¿ Nov 24, 2014 00:38

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Well, somebody has to find the picture now. He looks pretty drat serious about it in the picture.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 02:53

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Otisburg posted:

That seems like a legit reason to kick your estranged wife out of the guest house, TBH.

It's pretty good of him to let his ex stay at his place at all considering she steals guns to sell or use in crimes.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 05:04

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Roberto Orci is a god-damned truther. Never forget that. Hound him to the ends of the earth for being such a loving moron.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2014 20:29

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Do you think Benny Russell ended up in the Nation of Islam? I hope he got jacked as gently caress and spent the 60s intimidating racist-rear end white people. Plus, they believe in ufos and a lot of science fiction stuff from old pulp magazines.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2015 20:32

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

bobkatt013 posted:

I doubt it based off her divorce papers.

What is it with her and creepy dudes? Does she just look too much like a fetish model or something?

# ¿ Jan 22, 2015 19:16

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

MrL_JaKiri posted:

But Sam Beckett never returned home??

No no, "Sam Becket" never returned home. Totally different guy. See:

I AM GRANDO fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Jan 27, 2015

# ¿ Jan 27, 2015 20:18

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

I think what he was trying to say was that it sounded like Orci was trolling people by quoting Bush and calling him a "personal hero".

I mean, to this day, I can't 100% decide on an interpretation: is he being facetious? Is he being sincere?! Yeah, on the one hand, who declares George W. Bush to be their personal hero? ...but on the other hand what Hollywood movie writer basically wades into an internet discussion and starts throwing punches?

He got into a fight on twitter with people who disagreed that 9/11 was an inside job. I fully expect he will be arrested at some point running through his neighborhood naked with a golf club smashing in people's windows and yelling about Hercules.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2015 06:12

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

I prefer my anti-semetic stereotypes grunting and cowering and terrified of thunder.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2015 02:10

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Has anyone seen Planet Earth? It's a pilot Gene Roddenberry made after Star Trek and it's the most hosed up thing. John Saxon leads a team including Lurch from the Adams Family to explore a post-apocalyptic Earth from some super-advanced San Francisco that uses the same shopping mall as Conquest of the Planet of the Apes for location shooting. The premise seems like Star Trek, except that they drive a super-advanced train around in old subway tunnels and visit different post-apocalyptic cities instead of planets. In this one, they visit a city of dominatrixes led by Diana Muldaur, Dr. Pulaski from TNG, and John Saxon gets tied up and whipped a bunch before he gets Dr. Pulaski drunk and has sex with her to make her realize she was wrong to want to enslave all men. There are lot of weird, long scenes of giggling women ripping off John Saxon's clothes and shoving him around, and way too many establishing shots of shirtless men pulling plows. It looks like if it had gone to series, they would have visited a different one of Gene's sexual fetishes every week.

At one point, John Saxon philosophizes, "women's lib, or women's lib gone mad?" when faced with a city run by women. Then later he announces the necessity of men's lib before he rapes an unconscious Diana Muldaur. It's even more uncomfortable than this makes it sound.

Has anyone seen any of his other pilots, and are they this hosed up?

# ¿ Apr 2, 2015 19:38

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# ¿ May 7, 2024 10:45

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

My favorite story about Alec Guinness is that if kids asked for his autograph, he would only give it to them if they promised to read a book.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2015 17:22

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