Terrible Things You Used to Love

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Lolitas Alright!: Sep 15, 2007; This is your friend.
She fights for your freedom.

kannonfodder posted:

Speaking of terrible books, I used to absolutely love the Sword of Truth series. I read the first few a half dozen times over, but once I hit the point in the series where the author writes a 600 page rant about how COMMUNISM IS BAD! I stopped reading them. Then years later, I started to re-read the first, and it was just unbearable. I have no idea why I liked them so much.

And the rape. So much rape. I stopped about five books in because it was like there was someone getting raped every other chapter and it was just gross.

My terrible books are everything Jacquelyn Carey wrote. Bad porn with magic and gods and a "quirky" take on Christianity and Europe/Asia Minor, and lots and lots of BDSM. Main character blah blah god of pain blah blah Chosen One, culminates in :nms:

her getting brutally raped on a table by a crazy Zoroastrian, in front of her husband and her 12 year old son and a bunch of other dudes, with a gigantic metal spiked dildo that's covered in dried gore and rotting bits, and she is forced to enjoy the whole thing, because Chosen One makes her feel pain as pleasure. I got a tattoo from one of the designs in the book well before I got to the gorefest poo poo and am going to go get it, ahem, altered this month so that nobody can pin it to that loving book.

She also has one that's literally about a super magical Incubus named Sebastian, who marries a woman who wears a cheetah-print catsuit on the regular. There's apparently another one in that series but I gave up on reading anything she wrote a while ago.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 22:59

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 07:07

Lolitas Alright!: Sep 15, 2007; This is your friend.
She fights for your freedom.

MorgaineDax posted:

That's Anne Bishop, a completely different BDSM fantasy author! She's the one that writes the series about Jaenelle, the Mary Sue to end all Mary Sues. You know, the beautiful part-human, part-cat, part-unicorn, part-fawn, part-wolf, part-elf Queen, who's the most powerful witch in all the realms, and also the adopted daughter of Satan.

Oh that's right, it's by the Black Jewels Trilogy lady. Let's not forget that Jaenelle's husband, Daemon Sadi, son of Satan, totally got a boner when he met her when she was like six, but hey man, it's okay, they were meant to be in the future. I seem to remember that had quite a bit of poorly written sex in it too. Oh yeah, and when the brother, Lucivar (loving God I wish I was making these names up) bit some lady's clit off.

I have chosen some loving great literature in my time, poo poo.

edit: Oh yeah, I read one of the AN Roqulare or whatever books, the Sleeping Beauty ones that involved pony play and a dude having sex with a statue penis. Those were pretty fuckin terrible too.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2014 02:11

Lolitas Alright!: Sep 15, 2007; This is your friend.
She fights for your freedom.

Cowslips Warren posted:

Working at a zoo.

When I was a kid, I had dreams of being a trainer with Shamu. But even teenage me realized that SeaWorld is a pretty lofty goal.

So I went to a local privately owned zoo, and asked if they were hiring. I mean, I'd worked at Petsmart and had tons of pet reptiles, a zoo would be easy! They told me they hired from the volunteer staff. So I volunteered in the small mammal building, and within a year was working in the gift shop. Two years later, I was a zookeeper.

Part time. Working in a tiny reject building with aquariums, the largest was 300 gallons, everything run off Magnum canister filters or powerheads. A cheap building no one cared about.

The building was infested with roaches and scorpions, only half of it was air conditioned, the bathrooms clogged up and overflowed constantly, the owner of the place didn't care about the fish, and would regularly demand new stock be put in, and exhibits torn down for a 'Nemo tank' with as many blue tangs and clownfish as we could fit in.

And my last raise put me to 8.50....after working there for three years and starting at 8.

I worked over 60 hours a week for months but was always called contract, so the owner didn't have to cover my insurance. When I cut off part of my finger doing food prep, I didn't go to the hospital, I used a package of tape to hold it closed.

Oh, and my reviews and raises were always late, because those were dated from your month of hire, and my month of hire was in June, when our slow season was, so I had to wait until loving December to ask for either, because then the owner would be in a better mood and give a dime raise.

But until the month of me quitting, I loved it. Because I kept thinking things would get better, I would be made fulltime any day now, I had proven I was reliable and was always taking extra shifts and doing poo poo detail...only to watch every fulltime keeper slot zap up and pass me by. gently caress, a vet tech/keeper who already worked fulltime got hired part-time for a keeper spot I was qualified for.

Three years gone. But like an abused wife I stuck around because when the zoo wasn't drinking and slapping me stupid, he was a good place to work.

I remember your thread. Weren't you the one the zoo boss guy told, when he wasn't giving you enough money to eat on, to just eat leftover animal food or roadkill or something?

# ¿ Feb 5, 2014 23:56

Lolitas Alright!: Sep 15, 2007; This is your friend.
She fights for your freedom.

Oh, if you guys want bad Piers Anthony, try Bio of a Space Tyrant on for size! Complete with polyamorous triads and a 60 year old man with an autistic 14 year old love slave!

Also, I thought Robert Heinlein was the poo poo, and even though "Time Enough For Love" had some cute quotes, it also included such lovely things as the main character having to explain to some of his many children that loving each other is a bad idea, and then proceeds to clone himself into nymphomaniac redheaded bisexual incestous twins.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2014 03:58

Lolitas Alright!: Sep 15, 2007; This is your friend.
She fights for your freedom.

Tiggum posted:

Robert Heinlein did write some really good sci-fi. In which he spent an uncomfortably long time trying to convince everyone that incest is totally OK, but still.

Don't get me wrong, I think "Starship Troopers" is great, and he dealt with some really interesting concepts, but now I read them and it's like "the superhero alien guy is now... gonna have an orgy with like fifty people for no discernible reason other than he can." It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth for some of his books that I previously thought were amazing. I also will defend the film version of "Starship Troopers" to the death. The second one can go to hell.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 03:49

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