the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Arivia posted:

WoW gained 200,000 subs last quarter.

Eve has been steadily gaining subs for 11 years but that doesn't make it good, just the least bad of a bunch of awful poo poo

SunAndSpring posted:

Good thing some nerds are remaking the entire game in an open-source engine, so that just about any modification to the basic poo poo will work.

to be fair the skywind team also recreated morrowind in oblivion and never even finished making it playable before skyrim came out, but I wish them the best because morrowind slurped down a huge chunk of my depressing childhood

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 05:27

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 09:16

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Omi-Polari posted:

i got into the latest beta round and i'm actually looking forward to it because i'm a cheap date with low standards.

I played a few beta weekends ago and it makes me sad that it's a bad MMO that I'd have to actually play and level through to see the world, because the first few areas looked and felt really nice and I'd love to look around elsweyr and whatnot unburdened by inexplicably non-TES gameplay mechanics like plates you can't steal and inns full of yiffing furries

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 05:32

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

another fun thing about porting morrowind to a modern engine is that it is 1:1 in terms of size with skyrim and oblivion as-is and you can climb on a roof in balmora and see every city on that coast down to Vivec because they're all basically right next to each other, it just seemed big because you have to walk at cripplespeed until you level up athletics and the areas in between make you go around your elbow a lot fighting cliff racers the whole time

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 07:38

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Prettz posted:

question: in ESO, when you cast a fear or frenzy spell on another person, what happens?

another question: what happens if everyone acquires enchanted items to get 100% chameleon?

another one: if you knock a valuable weapon out of another player's hands, does the game let you pick it up?

and a final one: is money still completely worthless like in all the single player games?

it is TES in name only so all of these game mechanics don't exist

also, you can't steal/pickpocket and wolves drop armor pieces

it's kind of like that dream where you are naked in class except you are TES in a wow clone

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 18:10

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Prettz posted:

so you mean it's skyrim?

People who think skyrim is like this are bad at skyrim and probably bought it in a console where they can't mod it like idiots

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 02:26

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

tankadillo posted:

is there literally anyone in the world who wants to play this. anyone at all who saw that they were making an elder scrolls mmo and thought "now that looks extremely my poo poo"

nobody who has ever played a TES game thinks this is a good idea, so basically just people who heard that skyrim was a successful rpg but know nothing about it and have stock in whatever shithole dev studio is making it (it's not even bethesda, they licensed it out)

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 02:50

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Damp Star Baby posted:

They're the Moogles and Slimes of TES

Some mudcrabs are also known for their excellent mercantile skills

Last_Ranger posted:

i agree that most fetch quests were worthless, but often they had you going to interesting places and discovering cool poo poo, which made them worth it. also it wasn't always just walk to a place and pick something up, often the areas had interesting things to do besides just get the widget

If you turn off fast travel and buy a horse and stop along the way as you go to explore and gently caress with the random encounters the fetch quests are just excuses to get into more trouble. The most fun I had replaying skyrim was with an alternate start mod and no fast travel, totally disregarding the main quest, civil war, thieves' guild and dark brotherhood and just loving around in whatever town I ended up starting in. You'll stumble into more entertaining quests you never knew about and there's a lot of silly poo poo around that's not related to any quests at all, including some spots that don't have map markers.

e: also the alternate start mod prevents the dragons from showing up to murder your horse at level 1 until you go to helgen and start the storyline and nobody will judge you for cheating fus ro da into your spellbook in the mean time. Basically what I'm saying is that there are always a number of ways to solve the problems in a TES game on PC with mods which is another reason a TES MMO was an awful idea from the start.

poverty goat fucked around with this message at 06:58 on Feb 8, 2014

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 06:50

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

GOT A EXTRA TITTY posted:

Or you could just go play a game that is actually designed to be fun, unlike anything with "the elder scrolls" in the name

might as well just go watch a movie then smart guy

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 07:27

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

I hate to keep bringing up Eve as an example of a MMO done ~~right~~ better but when CCP considered rolling out a cash shop in a MMO with a monthly fee players got loving pissed and the company apologized, flew the CSM to iceland for an emergency summit and changed direction

trigger warning: link contains eve online, mittani interview

poverty goat fucked around with this message at 17:33 on Feb 8, 2014

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 17:29

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

ColoradoCleric posted:

how can you have subscription fees in 2014? like really what are you even paying for?

RPG+IRC

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 17:44

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

calusari posted:

To normal people this would make sense, but try telling this to an MMO gamer. Money is not as serious an investment for the MMO gamer, especially when compared to the time and effort they put in playing.

MMOs are very loving boring and may be a diagnostic tool for depression. I am left with the impression that these games are for people who want to make an ugly fantasy world a serious part of their regular lives and thus I have to wonder if anyone healthy is playing these games. Unlike other games that require some time investment (Minecraft servers, Animal Crossing) there doesn't seem to be any payoff or delightful moments and your presence in the world seems to have no permanent or even semi-permanent effect.

After they've raced through a game's content the MMO gamer comes to this realization. But suddenly, a new MMO is being released! One that promises to be different. One that will fix all the problems of the traditional MMO. For just $100.

what's even more depressing is that only a few hundred people ever do anything in wow on their own, everyone else is expected to memorize the other guys' strategies from youtube, then they do it over and over on a weekly schedule

it's like if everyone in minecraft spent their time building exactly the same castle over and over once a week

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 17:50

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

SciFiDownBeat posted:

^^^that's retarded

Thank you. An emotionally disoriented person is much more likely to get addicted to these cash cows. I'm sure there are some "normal" people playing this game, but to get to the pro level (or even being somewhat consistent) you have to be insane.

_{_{also I'ma be that guy and just casually mention Dark Souls is the best game ever you guys should totally play it mkay}}

I played wow a long time ago up through the end of TBC and raided for a bit with a casual guild and a hardcore guild. The hardcore guild had way easier hours and only spent ~2 nights a week doing scheduled stuff most of the time because we could farm the farm stuff without people standing in the fire and poo poo. The "casual" guild raided 5 nights a week forever without ever catching up, would constantly wipe on old content, and was ultimately a lot more stressful and more time consuming by orders of magnitude. I transferred a few months before Sunwell and actually cracking new content before there were strategies to copy on the internet was pretty fun in the grand scheme of that soul-crushing awful game.

Of course, the top guilds that get the first kills tend to be ridiculous. I remember reading a trip report about being in Nihilium during TBC and apparently the top ~3 people in the guild would just take all the sponsorship stuff and sell it to pay their rent and the rest of the guild would churn through guild hopping wannabe pro gamers at a hilarious rate with mandatory 16+ hour daily raids with no breaks.

poverty goat fucked around with this message at 18:09 on Feb 8, 2014

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 18:05

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Third World Reggin posted:

Griefing might have potential in pvp, but this is like level 10+ which is boring to get to.

The cleric gets a line that is all about throwing spears or javelins with a range knock back you can spam.

lol

if mmos have taught me anything it's that this will be fun for a week before it becomes an exploit

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 18:23

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

there are no iconic characters in tes

mudcrab merchant

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 19:24

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

It's not that I have a strong personal attachment to the lore or anything but having played a bunch of TES games that do generally manage to maintain some sort of continuity in the bad writing some of the stranger choices about TESO are kind of like if you want to see Peter Jackson's The Hobbit but were shocked to discover that it takes place on post-apocalyptic new jersey and that the hobbits are portrayed as a race of futuristic mutant cats. If they wanted to do that they should have just hired some writers and made a new story to go with it because it's actively made worse by trying to shoehorn in a bunch of readymade story in a way that doesn't line up with any returning customer's expectations. This will be another bad MMO regardless but it's made that much worse, being a TES game, by the fact that apparently nobody involved in its design has ever played a TES game.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2014 18:24

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

PsychoInternetHawk posted:

But the best parts of TES are the ones that are totally batshit crazy and out of left field. This is why everyone loves Morrowind, because while it's the same bad TES gameplay the world is a crazy clusterfuck of volcanoes and giant bugs and mushroom houses and dead robot gods or whatever that you can wander around and break at your leisure. Also you can easily juke up your stats and be the loving flash or break spellcasting and literally fly. The reason many people play TES and not other RPGs is that at its absolute best it's essentially the Saint's Row of fantasy games in terms of goofy poo poo, and TESO has none of that.

Well yeah, of course, and then you turn that poo poo up to 11 with mods, which is impossible in a MMO

# ¿ Feb 9, 2014 22:05

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

rainy day posted:

im looking forward to the people who keep insisting it's good because they don't want to admit themselves that they yet again wasted $100 on a lovely MMO that will be a ghost town in a month. Denial is always the best.

all you have to do is predict that every new monthly fee MMO will be a commercial failure that will collapse under its own weight and you're batting 1000 all the way back to whenever wow launched

it's weird that people keep buying them given the trend

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 08:29

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

WinnebagoWarrior posted:

Yeah, I played Star Wars Galaxies for about a year and a half on the merit that despite being a fairly bad game in a lot of ways, its basically the definition of Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying. I just feel like most MMOs and RPGs in general are over designed and over developed and the Developers are so anxious to have you experience the game that they want you to experience it sometimes gets lost that the best kind of role playing is you deciding your own role and then doing what you want with it. Rather than making like 4 complimentary classes to go fight bad guys with like most MMOs do, SWG gave you a whole bunch of classes to work with and pick and choose their skills how you wanted. I spent a lot of time, and I know many other did too, playing a character that had essentially no combat skills whatsoever because all of my skill points were dedicated to crafting stuff and selling stuff.

Most RPGs allow crafting of course, but its generally tied very closely with combat or the barrier to entry is so low that everyone can do it. This was not the case with SWG and it made it go a long way to being a unique game versus the WoW clone that most MMOs end up being. For all its faults, it provided a very different experience than pretty much any other MMO that existed at the time.

eve online is literally the best mmorpg ever but that doesn't make it a good game

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 21:52

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Torka posted:

I wish there was something that entertained me enough to be worth $57

weed

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 01:33

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

it must be really depressing being an artist/developer working for months in industry overtime-is-free-or-get-fired conditions on a game that you know has been min/maxed by the suits 1000 miles away to be discarded inside of 3-4 years after it makes some money after which point nobody in history will ever again see any of it because the servers will be offline

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 01:43

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Lonely Virgil posted:

They added a pet battle system in the last expansion. It's basically a dumbed-down pokemon with hundreds of pets for you collect. There are people who do nothing but pet battles.

http://us.battle.net/wow/en/game/pet-battles/

so I assume this means my mojo and my pinchy are now a dime a dozen?

as if I needed more reasons never to play that game again

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 04:56

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

BadLlama posted:

Everyone else share their release day Morrowind experience please.

I got really high and missed the memo about the silt strider so I tried to walk to balmora but kept losing my bearings in the swamp, found the wizard with the acrobatics scrolls but then got murdered by a bandit roleplaying a bridge troll

The next day I found the silt strider

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 17:25

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

rainy day posted:

eso is a bad game

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 09:04

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

if I was a raid boss I'd just ignore that poo poo and stomp on priests and wizards and poo poo anyway, why is every MMO ever about fighting the most backward retarded monsters in a given universe

# ¿ Feb 15, 2014 22:47

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

tanking 103 is: super obvious insanely telegraphed powerful attack is coming so you should use a defensive cooldown

grats now you are a 1% tank

MMORPG 101 is DO WHAT MOD SAY

congrats you are the 1%

# ¿ Feb 15, 2014 22:51

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

the only winning move is not to play

# ¿ Feb 15, 2014 23:14

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

...of SCIENCE! posted:

The last 10 pages of the Simcity thread are people bragging about preordering yet another city simulator sight-unseen and getting super defensive when people make fun of them for it, it's pretty great how Games learns absolutely nothing.

Remember that new diablo game that was poo poo and everyone stopped playing after 2 weeks? They all just bought the expansion for $40

# ¿ Mar 30, 2014 18:08

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 09:16

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

I preordered simcity in a box from amazon and then returned it for a refund but it never got removed from my origin account so I'm stuck in limbo between "suck it EA" and "I want this nightmare to be over"

# ¿ Mar 30, 2014 18:11

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd