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EN Bullshit posted:That's not sex. What counts as sex is indefinable and may be different to each person. I'm having sex with you right now, at least by my definition.
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Feb 20, 2014 00:47
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FoolyCharged posted:When puberty kicked in for me in my second year of high school, my body kinda screwed the pooch, Dogs don't count
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Feb 22, 2014 16:55
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Female colleagues fall in the category of Day Game.
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Feb 23, 2014 12:36
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I'm an old virgoon and I make sandwiches in my frying pan because its the only utensil in my kitchen, then I make coffee in it and drink it straight from the pan, then I jam the handle up my bum and whack off.
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Feb 26, 2014 21:28
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more of a simile than a metaphor e: probably
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Feb 26, 2014 23:20
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t3h z0r posted:I was behind a guy and his Filipino wife at the supermarket, and the checkout lady was Filipino as well. And this old flabby white dude is talking to her like a child, saying stuff like "I LOVE YOUR CUL-TURE! DO YOU HAVE MANY RE-LA-TIVES HERE???" And then you shuffled through on your own with a bunch of cheese and bread and she thought you were awesome, got it.
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Feb 26, 2014 23:36
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Starter Wiggin posted:All you dicks are being deliberately obtuse. But you can do all kinds of sandwiches in a toastie machine, wraps and things like quesadillas too, as long as place them in a way that minimizes leakage (speaking as a squirter).
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Feb 27, 2014 09:59
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Shannonmcn posted:Did you see my posts in ladythread about my friends cricket player breakup? Same dude. You seem to be following your friends private life obsessively closely and you're probably the reason no guys will bone her.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:25
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Keith Mars posted:I hope I'm not too late for picture chat! It's pretty cool that science has created a man grown entirely from hymen cells.
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Mar 4, 2014 01:13
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I'm gonna order a takeaway and then have some sex. Wonton Sodomy.
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Mar 9, 2014 16:25
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Girl is just wantin' sodomy.
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Mar 10, 2014 22:05
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kaworu posted:This thread was a silly honeypot but it pretty much inspired me to want to finally lose the last of my virginity (so to speak) in the sense of having penetrative intercourse with another man receptively (I'm a man) something I've been wanting to do for some time but have been squeamish about. Me and my boyfriend-ish person are tentatively going to do this on Monday, so it's actually pretty exciting. And might change things as he really views this as a true consummation of sorts and has done it before, unlike me. So did it not go that well then?
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Mar 11, 2014 11:13
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If you got into 40k and still didn't laid then I don't think there is much that can be done for you.
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Mar 14, 2014 01:11
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Skilleddk posted:virgoon here , am i ugly or deformed or anything or is it my personality thats awful Do you wipe your rear end? You look like you're taking a selfie in the toilet instead of wiping your rear end.
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Mar 19, 2014 20:21
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car dance posted:Some people like to gently caress ugly people. Some hot people don't care about sexual relationships. You can no more tell someone is a virgin from looking at them than you can tell someone is gay. So, sometimes then?
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Mar 24, 2014 22:57
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PlacidPanic posted:Don't use alcohol as a crutch for social interaction. Push yourself out of your comfort zone continually and you'll become less afraid and better at interacting. You'll have to fail to get better and it will suck at first but you have to stick with it. Think of it like going to the gym - when you first go you're going to feel weak and pathetic and it's going to be embarrassing, especially if you've avoided exercise before and are really out of shape. But if you push past that pain and embarrassment and stick with it, you will get better and stronger and achieve your goals. That sounds just like a computer game. Are you sure you're basing this theory on real life?
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Apr 12, 2014 00:36
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Neo_Crimson posted:Women are people with their own individual desires, aspirations, opinions, and interests. I consider women my social equals, and understand that I am not entitled to sex or relationships just because I want them. Did your defence lawyer write that sentence for you?
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Apr 25, 2014 14:40
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Yeah just be up front about the dick. There are some shallow girls out there, you just need to find one.
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Apr 25, 2014 17:37
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Felonious Batman posted:Way to be a dick. Wow, no need for cheapshots like that. It's not big, and it's not funny.
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Apr 25, 2014 22:59
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If you're just open about yourself in general it'll worm it's way into conversation by itself. Just don't let it be the elephant in the room.
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Apr 26, 2014 00:19
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spengler posted:In an odd way, I see a lot of similarities between sex and LSD or mushrooms. Unique experiences; can be lots of fun; possibly something most normal/healthy people should try at least once in their life but not something to obsess about or worry about too much. Not things to really be analyzed or contemplated as much as just experienced; both are expressions of love and death that extend beyond the ego boundary into the utterly bizarre weirdness of the universe. This a smart post. I once got a handjob from a alien while doing dmt.
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Apr 27, 2014 18:44
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Shannonmcn posted:Your dick is fine. I've known both and couldn't even tell the difference when they're erect which I assume yours will be. I don't think you're the connoisseur of dicks that you repeatedly claim to be.
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May 5, 2014 01:20
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solovyov posted:Most women do not check the bouquet on a dick prior to loving. Yeah they do, maybe Shannonmcn would be happy with a cursory glance at a dick to make sure it's vaguely dick shaped before letting someone stick it in them with the lights out, but most women would want to take a closer look somewhere during the build up.
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May 5, 2014 01:33
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Table top games and sex don't mix well.
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May 5, 2014 12:11
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Evelyn Nesbit posted:No, it was in Mexico and I didn't have a passport/was a little scared. I did end up hooking up with the same guy later on the day of the orgy, though. Dude sounds like a pro sexhaver. I'd imagine enduring a Mexican orgy and then crossing the border to hook up with a lustful goonette the same day would be too much for most men. Don't feel like you have to compete with this, virgoons.
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May 5, 2014 19:04
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Schroeder91 posted:
She wants you to prove you can man up a bit. Get in there (the apartment).
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May 5, 2014 22:30
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Move in with her. You can never be balls deep if you don't have balls.
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May 5, 2014 22:58
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ZergFluid posted:Seriously, ask yourself why that is. Why is the market skewed that way? Perhaps women don't have the same needs as men when it comes to sex, or rather your typical woman naturally finds it far easier than your average man to find her needs met in that department. We need more wars. Otherwise beta starfish sexhavers will continue to get divorced raped.
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May 6, 2014 12:06
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The Unholy Ghost posted:I'm pretty sure my parents think I'm gay because I've actively heard them tell other family members who asked about my relationship status to not worry about it. More importantly, whenever my dad is talking to me about his vague fantasies of my future married life he always makes sure to use gender-neutral pronouns. It's definitely the right thing to do if your son is actually gay but in this case it just makes me angry. You should fight your dad
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May 7, 2014 17:07
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Kimmalah posted:I have an anthropology degree and I think you're full of poo poo. I have a degree in Gastroenterology and I know everyone is full of poo poo. Your move ladies! 
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May 9, 2014 23:11
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pathetic little tramp posted:Man you sound like you need to chill your pill a bit, have you looked into penis pearling? Just get some studs for your cock bro, feels good. Well that's loving horrific GIS I was thinking I could just lay my fat carcass face down on a bed of sequins for a few hours and when I arise my penis will look like Smaug's undercarriage. Tortuga fucked around with this message at 00:54 on May 10, 2014 |
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May 10, 2014 00:51
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Always wear two condoms when you're with a new woman.
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May 10, 2014 01:35
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Ausmund posted:26/male/virgin/never kissed/never touched a girl Don't be a hipster douchbag, just make up a story about some girl you boned while on holiday that can't be traced or something. No one gives a poo poo about your useless genitals and they certainly don't want to read 136 pages of you whining about it for online oppression points.
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May 18, 2014 23:56
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Should have just folded your whiskey dick in there anyway and chalked it up as a tko.
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May 19, 2014 12:23
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Eagerly awaiting Zergfluids effortpost on FGM
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May 19, 2014 13:15
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