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This attitude has caused me to be self-conscious about using the word female anytime I write and goddamnit I hate that it's a perfectly good word and I'm sick of having to use girl and woman all the time English needs more good words for describing females.
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Feb 23, 2014 05:59
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12gauge posted:What's it like? Veryslightlymad described it pretty well; it's hell and you go crazy in weird ways. There's just a constant tension and ache. There's this intense feeling of alienation that I can't put into words. Sex is just a basic part of human life, isn't it? It's not part of mine. That means I'm subhuman, somehow. It might be helpful to note here that while sex is (obviously) a normal part of human life, the emphasis placed on it in modern Western culture is completely out-of-whack with any other point in history. This has almost nothing to do with biology- it's a result of the mass media constantly using sex to sell product. So it's hardly surprising that you feel subhuman when your self worth is conflated with something that for all psychological intents and purposes is a consumer product, even if it's not really. Someone earlier in the thread mentioned virgin role models- first two names to pop in my head straightaway were Isaac Newton and Henry James. It's really not that hard to go back into history and find important, well-adjusted people who had no sex life. The idea that it's something people seriously need is a modern construction that leads to all sorts of weird probably bullshit places. You ever heard about historical people who were obviously totally gay even though no one seemed to think so at the time? In pretty much all of those cases evidence is just as good that they didn't think sex was important because they were doing other things. Sexgun Rasputin posted:are we really bitching about people on dating websites being upfront about what they want out of a relationship so you can conveniently avoid them if you don't share their values wtf Sex is something we are all entitled to so it is unfortunate that these people aren't giving us the opportunity for sex before we decide that having any social interaction with this person at all is a terrible idea.
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Feb 25, 2014 02:04
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lidnsya posted:I learned about the sexual revolution from watching movies where everyone was loving and doing drugs in the 60's/70's but I never would have known there was a name for it if I hadn't gotten into feminism on my own. Well in all fairness it's not exactly something that has a clear manifesto or leaders. It was more of a cultural commercialist movement than one based on actual philosophical ideas. Yes there was lots of academic style feminist writing on the abstract theory of it. There was also lots of rabble-rousing and crossover with the other big social movements of the time. But about the closest thing you can get to a popular contemporary statement about what the Sexual Revolution actually was would probably be Sex and the Single Girl by Helen Gurley Brown. And uh...well, let me put it this way. An MRA could read that book and it would validate most of their horrible beliefs about women.
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Mar 7, 2014 06:23
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ArbitraryC posted:Hahaha, did you really just run inside and post about it on the internet afterwards. In the virgin thread of all places? Cursed Lumberjack posted:"Oh yeah baby, that was really great. Now excuse me real quick for a minute, I need to go down and tell my friends!" I seriously don't get how these kind of people get laid. It seems like even the loosest conceivable standards would keep guys like that from getting in. Just all the more evidence that achieving sex is not a magnificent achievement that actually proves anything.
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Mar 8, 2014 02:04
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Has Dan Savage ever run a series where he asked people to send in trashy hook-up stories that led to restraining orders, psychological counseling and drug abuse? Because if not I don't think that's the best source from which to draw the conclusion that wanton sodomy inevitably leads to fulfilling emotional relationships.
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Mar 9, 2014 04:22
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If Dan Savage used the term wanton sodomy in one of his columns with positive connotations I bet your dick would get so hard we could hang a virgin off it.
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Mar 9, 2014 04:30
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solovyov posted:Dude, trashy hook-up worst case scenario is usually bad sex and no further contact. Savage's point in soliciting the positive stories was to illustrate that the precise circumstances of the initial hook-up matter less than whether or not the individuals hooking up are decent human beings who like each other. Form is not destiny. Yeah, but come on. Trashy hook-up best case scenario is usually good sex and no further contact. If Savage's point was that hook-ups can lead to emotionally fulfilling relationships that was a lovely disingenuous point to make that really wasn't any better than the sarcastic one I just did. Don't hook up hoping you'll get a relationship out of it. That is terrible thinking that will set you up for disappointment. Sexgun Rasputin posted:that dude doesn't care solovyov he's like carrie's mom in the film carrie screaming about dirtypillows, that is legit serial killer levels of extreme sexual repression ...What?
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Mar 9, 2014 05:19
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Nessa posted:There is far more to compatibility than sex drive alone. Please, go on. I've always found the term sexual compatibility to be really poorly defined. It's a common catch all phrase for explaining why religious attitudes toward sex are bad, but as was noted earlier in the thread, research indicates that the opposite of conventional wisdom regarding the importance of shopping around for sex partners is true.
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Mar 10, 2014 01:26
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kraftwerk singles posted:if you don't want sex something is also wrong because you don't just will away instincts that make up a huge part of your brain circuitry. just look at animals quote:if you don't want heteronormative sex something is also wrong because you don't just will away instincts that make up a huge part of your brain circuitry. just look at animals I just wanted to point out that in any other context this would be an incredibly assholish thing to say. Like, literally the argument fundamentalist Christians use for why homosexuality is an abomination (can we please not discuss gay animal sex thank you).
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Mar 11, 2014 04:54
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Well what do you know. That guy whose husband wasn't interested in sex anymore really did have a sham marriage.
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Mar 11, 2014 05:04
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For some reason I thought "female equivalent of brony" meant she idolized some kid's show obviously intended for little boys. Somehow the idea that she's just a woman who likes My Little Pony didn't register, since I didn't know they bothered coming up with their own special title. Did bronies even come up with the term brony? I thought that came from a hostile source and they took it up like a badge of honor, like we did with goons. ...Uh, on-topic there are worse things in the world than conservative pegasisters. Don't poo poo on people for having different political beliefs than you or for having weird hobbies. If you've ever read D&D or PYF you're already basically that person, and (I hope) you don't consider your participation on these forums to be the bedrock of your personal identity. ...Wait poo poo that's still off-topic. OK, pegasisters have sex holes just like anyone else. If that's enough to make you not to want to gently caress her you are not a terrible virgin you just have standards. Would you be a more admirable person if you hosed every pegasister that moved? No? Then there's no shame being a virgin as opposed to the alternate universe you that fucks all the pegasisters.
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Mar 13, 2014 06:02
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script kitty posted:Ok so I almost said "hey you look kinda like a lady might wanna go find better fitting clothes" If (s)he's bisexual it's kind of impossible to tell the gender from that post alone, honestly.
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Mar 14, 2014 02:46
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Ah, he's probably just upset that it's no longer considered culturally acceptable to induct sons into manhood by bringing them to a prostitute. Thanks Tipper Gore!
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Mar 14, 2014 03:23
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And if you genuinely can't come up with that many people you think you might like, it's a good sign that you're a virgin probably because you're picky. Or have standards. It's an arbitrary distinction, really.
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Mar 14, 2014 09:20
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Sardonik posted:Upon a further review of her Facebook, she seemed to attend the brony events as a journalist and didn't actually affiliate with bronies, and when she posted something along the lines of 'If you're born in America you need to speak English' it was more of a troll post aimed at white trash people speaking bad English. So I may have been somewhat hasty in judging her. I fired off a message to see if she was interested in meeting up sometime this coming week but haven't heard anything. How did you possibly manage to confuse "is a brony" with "happened to be near bronies at some point"? I thought she'd actually, you know, wrote something to indicate that she was a fan of the show. Not that you used deductive reasoning to form prejudgments. Also what journalistic organization was into brony coverage? I am curious what they were hoping to accomplish by paying attention to bronies. Chairchucker posted:I'm not so sure it's about considering oneself a 'treasure for women' as much as not wanting to form a relationship with someone who may have serious ideological differences that would cause unnecessary tension. Unless you're one of those shitheads in D&D who gets equally outraged and obnoxious at anyone who's not the exactly correct kind of liberal politics really aren't that big a deal in personal relationships.
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Mar 15, 2014 03:46
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Not at all- I meet quite a few people with fairly conservative beliefs. I just don't write them off as monsters because they have half-baked political beliefs they don't really put much thought into. Anyone so hardcore conservative that they don't acknowledge birth control as valid or treat abortion as murder (as in, they actually picket clinics) is going to have so many other horribly distaff personality traits compared to me that singling out politics alone as being the dealbreaker would be just plain unreasonable.
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Mar 15, 2014 04:52
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...Oh, huh, this whole time I thought that word meant opposite or diametrically opposed but I can't find a dictionary to back me up. I feel dumb now.
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Mar 15, 2014 05:24
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Personally, I have trouble with dating as a construct because the entire format just feels dishonest. Like I (and she) are trying to sell a construct of ourselves that seems cool and likable rather than being open. For me, the stress of having to bullshit is the kind of thing I try to get away from in my personal life. While I've never been in such a bad state as to have panic attacks, I can sympathize with the general frustration you're having with the experience, Pinball.
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Mar 17, 2014 21:59
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Starter Wiggin posted:Virgins: woe is me I will be lonely forever Actually, even though this is the conversation that's always presumed to happen, I really haven't seen anything like this in the thread. To the contrary, at least a few virgins have been saying things like "but i tried ballroom dancing and rock climbing and warhammer and none of this stuff works for me im still not getting along with anyone". I can't think of anyone who's trying to justify not trying. All I've seen are people who have been trying and are depressed because whatever they're doing isn't working even though quote:Non virgins: no man trust me I was awkward and weird for a long time then I decided to join a club now I have a social life and I am happier is constantly presented as being a magical solution.
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Mar 19, 2014 18:44
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You could try not strawmanning the people you claim you want to help as being whiny rejects who are creating all their own problems. Where are the virgins who expect a one-solution-fix-all? If they've been posting in this thread I haven't seen them.
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Mar 19, 2014 19:13
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Killer Queen posted:You should probably figure out why women don't want to date you, as opposed to arguing about technicalities on an internet forum. It would be a much more productive use of your time and might get you somewhere more enjoyable in your life. Your response to my complaint about the tendency of users here to resort to ad hominem arguments is to, yourself, use an ad hominem argument against me. And the question on deck is why virgins don't want to listen to you. I think that really says all that needs to be said here. edit: People come in here, ask for advice, and when they disagree you say it's their fault for "having a chip on their shoulder". Then we get posts claiming that all virgins do is whine about how the advice won't work for them, when no one's actually doing that. I'm mystified that you think my posts represent some sort of elaborate personal attack but apparently someone would have to be an idiot to interpret yours the same way. bonus edit: Most of the virgins posting here are basically this guy- The Unholy Ghost posted:If I'm a virgin, can I kind of use this as a dating advice thread? I have yet to see any of these people get mad about the specific advice they've been getting for the specific situations they discuss. Some Guy TT fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Mar 19, 2014 |
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Mar 19, 2014 19:27
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guppiehaus posted:@Some Guy TT, my main point was never that all virgins do are whine about their problems and how advice doesn't work, you made it so. When I say people come in here with a chip on their shoulder I'm talking specifically about people like you and ejstheman who argue asinine bullshit in convoluted ways for the hell of it and make no real point while doing so. I'm eagerly awaiting your next logical fallacy rebuttal. How is my argument convoluted? The only thing I said to start this off was "insulting the people who you want to give advice to is probably counterproductive". You may want to reread that post (and specifically what I was quoting) before claiming that I'm the one who started this.
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Mar 19, 2014 19:48
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I did not know SA had a smiley for "pirate" but even if I did I would not have guessed it looks like that. Dang that's a dated reference.
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Mar 19, 2014 19:57
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Most things you can talk about on dates are dumb nerd poo poo to someone, somewhere. Go ahead, try and come up with a topic of personal interest that will sound universally cool to everybody. It's a lot harder than it sounds.
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Mar 20, 2014 22:03
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:oh jesus nerds get extremely spergy about sex. hang out with bdsm lifestylers for a minute they are the dorkiest loving people you will ever meet. or poly people. I read an article once by a gay guy who was trying to figure out what gay orgies were like. The one he found was a bunch of giggly chubby middle-aged men playing strip go-fish then slowly doing mutual masturbation. Also not everyone had cars so someone had to bum a ride off the author to get home. And nobody was allowed to use their real names. Ian Winthorpe III posted:'I really like your necklace, what's the story behind that?' That's good, but it's surprising how many people think this is a weird question. It's like they put no thought into the kind of jewelry they wear or something!
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Mar 20, 2014 23:22
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Remember when there were a bunch of selfies earlier? People were shocked, shocked to discover that they were just pictures of normal looking guys, not hideous grognards. Color me skeptical as to the existence of such a thing as virgindar.
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Mar 23, 2014 21:08
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Sunshine89 posted:Of course someone can tell if you're a virgin if the conversation is about sex. It'd be like the conversation is about a movie you've heard about but you haven't seen yourself. Looks like somebody never went to film school.
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Mar 25, 2014 19:58
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Crosswell posted:'Just loving try, guy.' is naive and idealistic advice? My point was anyone can come up with a million reasons not to. I don't think you even have a point other than carping. Personally, I consider any advice so generic that it can be applied to literally any situation at all to be naive and idealistic. Maybe I'm just a cynical rear end in a top hat.
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Mar 29, 2014 02:24
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car dance posted:Do people actually believe that if you don't have a job and live at home no one will date you? Or is this just pathetic scrambling from male virgins who think that women are only looking for men with money? Excuse my heteronormativity. Using this thread as an example this idea seems to come more from people offering advice to virgins than it is an idea that virgins come up with on their own. I think someone actually seriously put "well-traveled" as being the kind of personality qualifier that chicks dig. It was mocked at the time, as I remember.
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Mar 29, 2014 03:20
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Benny Harvey posted:Would it be a bit gauche at this point to make a reply to the OP? Don't be absurd. This thread is terrible at staying on-topic and answers to the OP are the only way to rerail the conversation back to "what's it like being a virgin." Benny Harvey posted:True. I know this is going to sound weird but I just feel like trying online dating is giving up or something. That plus I'm guessing it's (a bit) more personality based and I don't have much of that. Something a lot of virgins seem to have trouble getting is that they're actually really picky and have standards that sound totally reasonable but are in reality almost completely untenable. Like seeing online dating as "giving up". If you're trying to meet like-minded nerds OKCupid is pretty much the only game in town at this point. You just can't find these people in real life anymore because they spend most of their free time either in front of the computer or hanging out with previously established friends. What you're thinking of as the real-life scene where in-person dates come from is where people who don't spend free time on the Internet go. Be honest. Do you really think you could relate to someone like that? I mean you could probably get at least one night stand out of drunk confidence. But the fact that you went to a prostitute and still feel depressed virgin stigma tells me you're looking for something more than that.
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Mar 30, 2014 15:28
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Hodgepodge posted:I once got a date by recognizing Ovid's Metamorphosis. I've never read it, I just knew what it was. That was enough to start a conversation at the laundromat. One time I stared at this girl really frustrated because all I could see on her book was J.R.R. Tolkien. I knew that was a famous author but I couldn't remember what he wrote so I finally walked up and asked her. In retrospect I probably could have parlayed that into a date except that I only really wanted to know who J.R.R. Tolkien was so it did not occur to me to respond to her answer with anything but a thank you. What is the next step for casual book chat anyway? I hear that as a way of meeting people all the time but I can't for the life of me figure out how that's supposed to turn into a normal conversation. There was this other time meeting someone I already knew from clubs and she had just bought Clan of the Cave Bear but what is there to even say about that series. I liked the caveman worldbuilding? I liked the caveman sex scenes?
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Mar 30, 2014 18:19
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Anne Whateley posted:It's copypaste from somewhere, in other threads TheSpiritFox loves to talk about what an experienced man of the world he is who's totally had sex with all the hot crazy women. If TheSpiritFox lives such an interesting life why is he screwing around with fakeposts in the virgin thread?
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Apr 1, 2014 07:52
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TheSpiritFox posted:Hahaha this is the best part of the thread right here. The poster in second place who's not a part of the anatomy measuring contest who's like "Oh gently caress what am I doing with my life?" That list needs to show up in every thread that goes off the rails and gets stupid for awhile. So, every thread now I want to see that list at some point.
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Apr 10, 2014 05:06
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ChairMaster posted:Hey that's a false dichotomy, intense self-loathing doesn't necessarily mean you're ugly or a sociopath! Also none of these are impediments to getting laid in the first place. See also- the effects of alcohol.
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Apr 11, 2014 18:05
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EXTREME INSERTION posted:What are you talking about most people can definitely sense when other people are really weird I've been reading too much of the webcomics thread lately. Somehow most of those people are married.
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Apr 12, 2014 02:13
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So what, some chicks really dig dudes who are incapable of showing emotions. Data got laid all the time even though he couldn't go two sentences without blathering on about how not understanding feelings made him sad. (now someone throw in a Harry Potter reference so we can get the nerd trifecta)
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Apr 12, 2014 21:29
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...I was joking. Well, mostly. Anyone can find just about anything attractive given the right context. Hypothetically a guy with no apparent emotions could give off an aloof, cool, mysterious persona which I'm told is attractive (never seen the appeal personally). But it all depends on the person really. There's many ways to get a girlfriend. Just like there's many ways to get in prison. Try not to do tasks likely to overlap those two.
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Apr 13, 2014 04:20
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They prefer the term sex-haver. Also your attempt to insult their sense of masculinity by calling them goonettes was pretty low check your privilege please. To answer your question it would be creeper as he would have weird unfun sexy time requests whereas the personally ugly smelly guy will do anything just to be in the same room as vagina. Protip ladies you want some ace cunningluis pick up the desperate ugly guys. Invert the same advice for blowjobs gentlemen.
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Apr 13, 2014 05:04
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If they don't want to date short guys they're snobby bitches and you're better off without them anyway.Forceholy posted:You explain the why but not the how. Even then, in my experience, most women, most PEOPLE in general don't like to be bothered. Look how this forum rips itself apart whenever the topic of approaching someone in a cafe arises; the comments range from "approach, no matter what." to "If you even think of talking to her, you are a rapist." Anyway, Maybe I'm too oblivious or dull or ugly to get hints. Ah well, there are worse fates than being single for years. Yeah, sorry Grayly Squirrel but your current ladyfriend anecdote is pretty worthless. The typical virgin in this thread is not meeting people by running into mutual friends at the bar, and they're definitely not getting into moments of charged silence where they're only one brave move away from sexytime. You're way underestimating the value of your support network to your current romantic success.
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Apr 22, 2014 04:46
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Starter Wiggin posted:WTF are short boobs may I ask. You know, the ones that are shaped like bananas. Benedick Cuckold posted:I thought we'd all agreed it's perfectly fine for women to not want to date short guys, just like it's perfectly fine for men to not want to date flat-chested women. In fact, it's perfectly fine for anyone to not want to date anyone for any reason, because no one's obligated to gently caress you. Are we at least allowed to call people racist for not wanting to date outside their race? I'm not actually that invested in the question, I'm just trying to gauge to appropriate level of snark versus serious advice for the conversation right now.
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Apr 22, 2014 04:53
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