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JFairfax posted:How would you male virgoons feel about loosing your virginity to a woman who had previously with 53 different guys? Waddap, guy! Halloween virginity loss, checking in. Everything from the neck down was fantastic looking, but that slag had the worst overbite and a dead look in her eyes. Her chin sorta looked like a nutless ballsack. I made out with her on my wooden dorm room rocking chair for what seemed like an hour, before climbing up into my lofted bed to gently caress her with hardly enough room between the bed and ceiling. I really feel as though I have ignorance to thank for my first dick-in-the-snatch gently caress. There was no thought process beyond... 1) Consume as much liquor as possible 2) Oh look, she wants to go home with me, guess she wants to gently caress. 3) We're making out on my chair, I'll do this for a while, then ask if she wants to have sex. 4) I'll lay here and hope to god she just jams it in herself. It was probably just as bad for her as it was for me. I slipped out a bunch of times and hadn't a goddamn clue. The sad part was when we called it quits and she asked "So am I ever gonna hear from you, after tonight?" to which my response was "Yea, why wouldn't you?" She blew up my phone constantly and scolded me for not replying to her texts, in the middle of statistics class. I can hardly remember how we broke it off after a week, but we did and she was bitter. I could have cared less, which brings me to this... Veryslightlymad posted:I think the worst part is how ungrateful some people are about it. Like they don't realize that another person has given them a gift, and they should be goddamned thankful for it. Playing with, loving, sharing happiness with another human being ought to be the easiest thing in the world, but it's not. Show some drat respect. I seriously envy those times. I never had sex with my first girlfriend, but it was like we were both constantly high on raging hormones. We would hug, kiss, cuddle and screw around in every way possible, minus penetration. It was like every lame, romantic cliche. I loved looking into her eyes, her smile, hair, body, everything. It really was like a teen hearthrob drama. Now I'm an experienced adult, incapable of feeling any of that. A dream girl could walk right in, hug me and I'd probably be all "Where's the knife, I gotta crush this perc. gently caress, coulda sworn I had a few beers left in the fridge." Maybe I just haven't been in real love. Who the hell knows? cname fucked around with this message at 22:42 on Feb 20, 2014 |
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Feb 20, 2014 22:28
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Kurt_Cobain posted:A hole for loving can be tight or loose. Buttholes tend to be really tight. It is not either or, it is both and. Phenazepam is a hell of a drug. Depends how used the butthole is. Typically they're tighter because they get hosed less.
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Feb 21, 2014 20:57
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change my name posted:This country went to hell when they gave virgins the right to vote, I tell you what. Starter Wiggin posted:Do you sell intercourse and intercourse accessories? That does it. Going hog wild. 5/5 gold.
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Feb 22, 2014 20:05
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LemonDrizzle posted:toasty machine I think you should throw yourself off a tall building.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:56
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Real men make grilled cheese with an iron. Or on the heat plate of a coffee maker. Then you use the coffee pot to press it.
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Feb 26, 2014 20:16
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Corn Thongs posted:What is even going on in this thread now somebody please let me know. GBS 1.4 It's better this way.
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Feb 26, 2014 21:16
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Not tomatoes. Tomatoes are wrong. /\ Ugh, you dip it in mayonnaise? How often do you shop at Wal Mart?
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Feb 26, 2014 22:49
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lidnsya posted:Toasties is still a dumb word though, I'm sorry. It's like teenage, American girl speak. Same level as "besties" "totes" "uggos" "shmexy" "schwasties" etc. Stop it. Shannonmcn posted:We don't have Walmarts here. I'm sorry your tastebuds are so broken. Mayo is delicious. Who doesn't have mayo on a sandwich? You can't put it inside or it'll get all cooked and weird. Alright, well, I'll take it back. I'm gonna assume that since you live in a Wal Mart free fairyland, your tomatoes probably have taste.
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Feb 27, 2014 16:15
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Synonamess Botch posted:I may be judgey, but if you're waiting until marriage you're definitely a weirdo. Real talk tho, I'm not saying this stuff to be mean, I'm trying to help people who lack the experience to know they're making a mistake. Well put. It's not like "HA HA! Loser! Only lames wait for marriage!" but more like "No, seriously, if you wait for marriage, your marriage might end in a shouting match, in front of the neighbors."
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Feb 28, 2014 15:28
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I'm still laughing at "The Sexual Revolution." Part of me wants him to be an elaborate troll, while the other part really wants my future child to bring home a history book with a chapter on the sexual revolution. That's gonna be the name of my new house/trance playlist. cname fucked around with this message at 21:32 on Mar 5, 2014 |
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Mar 5, 2014 21:30
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Nessa posted:Did you not learn about the sexual revolution in school or something? Nope, never learned about it. FoolyCharged posted:Devil's advocate here, but it's a buzzword for a specific period of a trend that's been going on for ages. Half a century earlier than that there was a huge buzz when growing sexual openness led to the popularity of women's swimsuits that didn't cover the legs! Gasp! guppiehaus posted:That's because our public education sucks colossal dick. If you've heard of hippies and free love then you've kind of heard about the sexual revolution both of which were parts of it. Now I get it. docbeard posted:In fairness, the approach of most of my history classes to anything that happened after about World War 2 was, broadly, "UM SOME STUFF HAPPENED I GUESS OH MY GOODNESS THE YEAR IS OVER". My history curriculum was just various repeats of how the United States were made and European history up to (but not including) WW1. It's funny how they left out all the controversial parts which yes, they are controversial, but said controversy IS part of our country's history. Grades 1-3: Colonizing the US Grades 3-6: European history up to (but not including) WW1. Grades 6-8: Colonizing the US the first half of the year, then European history up to (but not including) WW1, the 2nd half of the year. Grade 9: European history up to (but not including) WW1. Grade 10: European history up to (but not including) WW1 the first half of the year, then colonizing the US the 2nd half of the year. Grade 11: Colonizing the US Grade 12: European history including the smallest amount of WW1 as possible. I really wish I was joking. To be fair, there was some Asian history peppered in. I had to learn the following history topics from the internet and documentaries. Public school did not even come close to touching upon... -World war 1 -World war 2 -Vietnam -Korean war -The Berlin wall (See quote "up to but not including WW1") -Israel vs Palestine -Desert storm -Babylon and the middle east -Soviet union -The black power struggle (we learned about slavery, but the black panthers/Oakland,CA/MLK was never really a topic) cname fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Mar 6, 2014 |
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Mar 6, 2014 18:04
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ZHamburglar posted:I just had sex in a car with a girl that is way out of my league. Virgoons you can live vicariously through me. Hahaha you live with your parents, don't you?
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Mar 7, 2014 16:26
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Not everyone who claims political affiliation is incredibly educated and/or invested in politics. For a while, I dated a "conservative" who could have given a poo poo less about politics, but had friends, parents, etc. who identified as conservative, so she just sorta went with it, to be part of the crowd. When I got to know her, I found out that her actual morals and ethical guidelines were quite liberal. She always voted "republican" out of ignorance and/or "just because." She probably still does this. While it was a bit irritating, I'm glad I didn't make a big issue out of what essentially equates to a money moving contest. cname fucked around with this message at 19:32 on Mar 12, 2014 |
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Mar 12, 2014 19:29
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Pycckuu posted:Wiping your rear end and taking care of yourself is not bootstraps, its a minimum requirement of a functional adult. I bet many people on this forum would beg to differ. Skilleddk posted:virgoon here , am i ugly or deformed or anything or is it my personality thats awful This is the 2nd time (to my knowledge) that you've posted a picture of yourself, in efforts to get confirmation that you're a normal looking person. It's your self-esteem. Get therapy and stop taking selfies for Something Awful.com And for the record, you're a regular looking gently caress, just like all the other regular looking fucks (including myself.) cname fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Mar 19, 2014 |
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Mar 19, 2014 19:58
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Mention nerdy poo poo, but don't elaborate unless they happen to like it too. "Tee hee, yea, I like Star Trek. I know, I know, I'm a total nerd" "I'm really into TNG. It's so much better than the original, you have no idea! Data is way funnier than Spock!  "
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Mar 20, 2014 18:58
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Pinball posted:The nerd thing is actually really difficult for me. I am a huge nerd, though I have other interests. I like tabletops, RPGs, some anime that's not horrifically misogynist and fan-servicey (so, like, two shows, max), and big dumb action movies. I'd love to date a guy who shares my interests, but every guy I've ever met who shares those interests is a grognard. Now that technology is growing and reaching out to different flavors of people, there are a lot of psudo-nerd activities and interests. Sound engineering and audio production holds subject to some of the nerdiest most spergin conversations I've ever listened to. I'm a programer and IT professional who is routinely required to use "techno jargon." Sometimes I really think audio subjects contain far more "techno jargon" than computer related subjects. It always surprises me how few goons are into DJing. The DJ thread is practically a ghost town and I'd consider DJing far nerdier than people think. I've found that setting up sound systems is oddly similar to setting up a local area network. Graphic design is mostly attractive, young women. Web developer meetups usually tend to have non-goony guys. First person shooters are basically a go-to for "normal people." Maybe you just need to broaden your "nerdy hobbies" to incorporate some of the less nerdy hobbies.
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Mar 20, 2014 19:56
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Sex is a gift? So what is it when I'm the one who has to do all the work?
cname fucked around with this message at 17:10 on Apr 4, 2014 |
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Apr 4, 2014 16:56
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Shannonmcn posted:Normal. What would she be doing if she wasn't lying back and thinking of England? Practicing for the horseback riding competition.
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Apr 4, 2014 17:52
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Veryslightlymad posted:O_o Awww, please elaborate. What was the message you were trying to get across? I'm genuinely curious.
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Apr 4, 2014 19:54
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I mean why would discussing sex with friends make you that angry? People talk about sex. You really don't think your friend's partner also talks about sex with his/her friends too? I understand if it's with people who you're not close with or if they're just looking to brag/talk poo poo. That's kinda disgusting, however it's pretty normal for close friends to talk about their sex lives.
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Apr 4, 2014 20:02
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Ratoslov posted:Guys, I have transcended all forms of time and space in order to make it so that I am having sex now and at all points in the past and future, as well as everywhere in the universe at once in one omniorgy, but I'm feeling vaguely viginal because I don't think I'm really living up to my sexhaving potential. Will the pain of loneliness ever go away? Which Star Trek episode was that?
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Apr 7, 2014 14:13
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Benny Harvey posted:You've never come accross a woman in porn you thought was enjoying herself? That's the difference in porn actresses. Those who do it for the money and those who do it because they genuinely love to get hosed. You can totally tell the difference.
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Apr 17, 2014 15:36
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Shannonmcn posted:Not never, they're just pretty rare and seeing the stereotypical moan and grimace kinda kills the mood. James Deen toes a line for me. Sometimes he's a bit too much. Sometimes he's okay. I have about 600 bookmarks that would prove you wrong.
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Apr 17, 2014 17:17
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Vaginas have an end and you'd be surprised how many girls claim to only like big dicks, when in reality their sex is just average dick size/average vagina depth. Think about all the guys who say they have a huge dick. Then some girl believes it, has sex with their average dick which almost reaches the back of her average vagina and presto! The bullshit gets perpetuated.
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Apr 18, 2014 19:57
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NomChompsky posted:There's a subreddit where dudes with massive dicks complain about their massive dicks and how horrible their lives are because their dicks dip into the toilet water when they sit down to take a poo poo. Meanwhile they talk about how every girl praises their dicks for being perfect. The bolded is how you know it's complete bullshit. The reason that not every girl is masturbating with the porn shop's largest dildo is because it would be incredibly painful.
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Apr 18, 2014 20:11
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Benny Harvey posted:Why donīt they try not using their full length? Because going deep feels 10x better and I wouldn't consider myself sexually compatible with someone I couldn't get my entire dick inside of.
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Apr 18, 2014 21:46
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I'm an average looking guy and every time I've ever flirted at a bar, it's been incredibly not-suave and a complete matter of "just loving say anything." It seems like every drunk girl likes to do fake accents, which is super easy to roll with. It's always British or Australian and starts with a loud "ELLO GOVENAH!" as you can clearly see her best friend giggling not 10 feet away as if it's not dead obvious she's a local. Either that or they just shout song lyrics in your face.
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Apr 21, 2014 15:40
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ChairMaster posted:Real value? They ran a real long way but it's not like they cured a disease or something. I mean I'm not saying I could do better, or have done anything of actual value in my life, but running a real long way isn't that great. Maybe you'd be able to get laid if you completed a marathon. Also, chances are, nothing you'll ever do in life is gonna be as great or greater than curing a disease, so why bother? cname fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Apr 21, 2014 |
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Apr 21, 2014 21:26
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lidnsya posted:tbp you always post like you are trying way too hard to fit in with the fyad types but the thing is they are actually pretty funny and cool and you just come off as a naive frat boy. Whew now I got that off my forums chest. HAHAHAHAHA! Wow! Where's that quote from the nutcase FYAD poster who had to see a therapist to stop the ironic thoughts from repeating in his head 24/7.
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Apr 29, 2014 17:07
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SpaceGoatFarts posted:im permabanned poster niggerstomper58 Yep, you're the one who perfectly summarized the FYAD experience. It's really something to be proud of.
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Apr 29, 2014 17:33
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dundun posted:Join plentyoffish, message the nastiest looking fatty on there. Slam that whale! Then message the second nastiest woman there. Slam it! Eventually you should escalate to semi-attractive single moms, slam them but don't get them pregnant because they will be looking for a new baby daddy. Then move on to club ho's, you know the ones, wearing the little black dresses they bought from forever 21 just standing around looking for a hot dickin. One night stand them, but don't be cuffin a girl who your whole team smashed and turning a summertime ho into a winter wife. See, you went wrong by not turning the summertime ho into a winter wife. The summertime ho was he right woman all along, while the European was too much for yo nerdy. Never EVER settle for the chubby girl who makes homemade jewelry on ETSY. If you're gonna take that route, shoot for a 20-something year old PLUR-life in fishnets who goes door to door selling kandi for festi money. They have a nurturing instinct from all the times they had to drug-sit their friends on ketamine. cname fucked around with this message at 15:09 on May 1, 2014 |
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May 1, 2014 15:04
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Pinball posted:I hate exercise with a fiery passion. I run three to four times a week and hate every minute of it. Make a good playlist, before hand. Then get high. Makes things 10x easier.
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May 1, 2014 20:49
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Question for those who keep saying "Girls usually don't get off on PiV as much as the other stuff" Have you ever hosed a guy with experience and a well-fitting dick? Is it that you've had really awesome sex and still couldn't finish on multiple occasions? It really seems like size is everything to guys. A guy with a big dick will be confident enough to gently caress anyone, yet the reality is, there is such a thing as too big, too long but not enough width, etc. "Just don't put it all the way in" is much easier said than done. Basically: How do you know? or How can you be so sure? cname fucked around with this message at 15:04 on May 2, 2014 |
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May 2, 2014 14:52
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Shannonmcn posted:It's a legitimate statistic that most women can't or don't orgasm from piv alone. Quick google Oh, ok! That's pretty interesting. I know some girls can orgasm much easier than others, but I never really thought about why.
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May 2, 2014 16:10
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If you virgins actually saw the "competition" in action, you'd probably be less intimidated by the idea of talking to people you're sexually attracted to. Have you ever actually seen someone hit on one of your friends? It's comical, to say the least. Nobody has a clue and those who don't have forums.somethingawful.com telling them "No, don't do that, it's creepy" are more likely to get laid than the goon who doesn't bother. Anything short of sexual harassment is fair game. Really, you might creep someone out, but as long as you don't tell them where you wanna stick it, they're not gonna remember you 24 hours later. The other night, I was at the bar with my roommate having a few drinks after work. She mentioned something about her hair and without missing a beat, the guy next to her went "I have awesome hair!" She replied with "Yea, it is nice hair." after which, he took off his hat, poured his beer on his head, tilted down towards her and asked "Style it for me?" as beer dripped down his face and onto his shirt. Conclusion: "That was nothing. Nowhere near the top 20 worst pickup attempts I've ever heard." -My semi-attractive roommate Tokyo Sex Whale posted:I had to look up Victoria sponge cake and it looks like they'd have to be served cold or else the filling would melt. So possibly a room temperature vagina would feel like a Victoria sponge cake. It also depends on where the woman is in her cycle (probably not relevant if she's room temp, haha!) and what angle you're taking with the cake. The cake would have to be soaked in a lube bath and microwaved for 10-15 seconds. Vagina feels warmer than room temp. I dunno, I'm in agreement with Kevin Malone where 69 is the ideal room temp. gently caress a cycle. Never be scared of period sex. Little blood ain't no big deal. cname fucked around with this message at 15:47 on May 5, 2014 |
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May 5, 2014 15:29
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Schroeder91 posted:I realize how stupid it is, but like I said I make little money. I can move in with her for 450 a month, rent and everything included. I'll be hard pressed finding a place with rent that low on its own, and it will suck. After talking with her it helped me realize nothing will happen between us, and I'm trying not to think of her in that regard. The apt is pretty big, 2 big rooms with separate bathrooms, and she works 3 jobs. I'm not ok moving in with some random person. It won't be until July anyways so there's time to think about it. That sounds like an awesome deal. Just go for it and jerk off whenever loneliness arises.
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May 5, 2014 21:36
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Maybe ride a real bicycle that doesn't have a motor.
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May 6, 2014 19:03
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Is it in her lease that she isn't allowed to have boys over? 2nding the "are you from Utah?" question. Pretty sure that's a bunch of bullshit... Unless they're from Utah.
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May 13, 2014 19:45
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Can't tell if this is the virgin thread or a Ferengi trade channel.
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May 14, 2014 21:50
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