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EN Bullshit posted:"hi i completely understand and i can help; you just gotta get on skype and show me your dick and give me money"
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Feb 26, 2014 02:33
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EN Bullshit posted:"hi i completely understand and i can help; you just gotta get on skype and show me your dick and give me money" No one asked you to post your chat logs with your mom, ENBS.
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Feb 26, 2014 02:35
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Starter Wiggin posted:No one asked you to post your chat logs with your mom, ENBS. i guess that makes you my sister e: so you want to hop on skype and show me your dick or what?
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Feb 26, 2014 02:43
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The Unholy Ghost posted:Hello, 18 year old virgin here. I'm not that old yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a virgin until I turn 25 when I finally just pay a prostitute. I was without lust for most of high school, mostly wanting sex out of jealously/to fit in with others. Now that I’m in college, I’ve joined six different clubs (all that have women attending) and I’ve actually been starting to develop a “real” interest in sex. Sadly, being friends with and hanging out with women on a daily basis still does not help with getting into a relationship, despite the broken record advice I’ve read here and elsewhere. Stop being a bitch and ask a girl on a date. This goes for the rest of you too.
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Feb 26, 2014 04:34
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Violet_Sky posted:I'm 20, so the rest of you are free to scoff at me, but I'm worried about being a virgoon forever. I'm physically disabled and there's not a lot of people who want to date a shy, strange disabled woman who also has depression and never kissed or dated a guy except for 1 or 2 online...things. I can't just get an escort because straight male escorts don't exist. Believe me, I've looked. I've honestly considered becoming an escort for disabled people. Free sex and $$$. If my girlfriend ever dumps me then I will PM you. I'm sorry to hear that. There are straight male escorts out there, maybe not in your town but they do exist. Do you have any male friends that would bang you?
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Feb 26, 2014 05:32
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Suspicious Lump posted:
Most of them are in relationships and I've worked with them at my old job, so it'd just be weird.
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Feb 26, 2014 05:42
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Violet_Sky posted:Most of them are in relationships and I've worked with them at my old job, so it'd just be weird. I remember that it was a bit of a big deal when Nevada got their first legal male escort. Shame the dude was ugly as sin. After I saw that movie, 'The Sessions,' which is largely about the sexuality of people with disabilities, I looked up sex surrogates to see if they actually exist (they are not prostitutes, they are very insistent on this fact). William H. Macy plays a journalist who lives in an iron lung and has never had sex, and he goes to a sex surrogate named Cheryl to do so. It's a very well-done film that's unceasingly honest about a kind of taboo subject. Sex surrogates are all ladies and mostly located in California, otherwise I'd suggest trying a sex surrogate. Also I've got a date sometime this weekend or next week. So nervous. Dude's cute, though. 
Pinball fucked around with this message at 07:19 on Feb 26, 2014 |
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Feb 26, 2014 06:09
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Cucktales Blogger posted:I don't know what it's like being an adult virgin and would like to find out. Please, tell me a little bit about your situation as an adult who has never had sex. OP I'm a 50 year old virgin. Ask away!
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Feb 26, 2014 08:16
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Davelord Cheeto posted:OP I'm a 50 year old virgin. Ask away!
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Feb 26, 2014 08:27
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what the gently caress is a sandwich press
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Feb 26, 2014 09:19
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Shima Honnou posted:what the gently caress is a sandwich press http://www.amazon.co.uk/Breville-VST025-Sandwich-Press/dp/B0048EJQBS
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Feb 26, 2014 09:46
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Shima Honnou posted:what the gently caress is a sandwich press A George Foreman grill can take you places if you have a need to throw poo poo onto a glorified hotplate.
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Feb 26, 2014 10:03
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Pinball posted:After I saw that movie, 'The Sessions,' which is largely about the sexuality of people with disabilities, I looked up sex surrogates to see if they actually exist (they are not prostitutes, they are very insistent on this fact). William H. Macy plays a journalist who lives in an iron lung and has never had sex, and he goes to a sex surrogate named Cheryl to do so. It's a very well-done film that's unceasingly honest about a kind of taboo subject. Sex surrogates are all ladies and mostly located in California, otherwise I'd suggest trying a sex surrogate. In the film Helen Hunt is portraying real life sex surrogate Cheryl Cohen-Greene, who appears in this documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0Gskhjmrs0 which is pertinent to this thread.
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Feb 26, 2014 11:24
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Agent Kool-Aid posted:A George Foreman grill can take you places if you have a need to throw poo poo onto a glorified hotplate. Use your loving oven on broil
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Feb 26, 2014 16:05
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Kittle posted:In the film Helen Hunt is portraying real life sex surrogate Cheryl Cohen-Greene, who appears in this documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0Gskhjmrs0 which is pertinent to this thread. I'm honestly shocked this isn't More of A Thing, especially if we continue to (hopefully) grow up regarding the topic of sex. But it just makes so much sense that people who have struggled with this to such a degree have a Real Problem, and deserve to be treated respectfully and to be helped in an honest, safe way. Just because it's sex (OMG GIGGLE SEX!) shouldn't make it any different. Something I wanted to say to the adult virgins in this thread is whether or not you have sought psychiatric help for your problem? I would imagine anxiety disorders and/or depression is extremely common in many of the adult virgins here. I suffer from it, and it certainly has been the main reason why I had such trouble forming both physical and emotional relationships with others. And it was no coincidence that six months after starting real treatment for my problems in an honest way, I could suddenly go on dates and meet people more easily, and be social more easily. But I would have to think that has occurred to a lot of you.
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Feb 26, 2014 16:31
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My favorite part of this thread is the ego massaging that goes on with the whole "turns out later several deece girls actually wanted me a lot, I just didn't pick up on it" thing
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Feb 26, 2014 17:06
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my old classmate said that i looked good in a suit at our mock interview. gently caress she totally wanted me back then!
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Feb 26, 2014 17:08
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tbp posted:My favorite part of this thread is the ego massaging that goes on with the whole "turns out later several deece girls actually wanted me a lot, I just didn't pick up on it" thing Posters in e/n forum attempt to make themselves feel better about their real lives by posting about them on the Internet. Film at 11.
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Feb 26, 2014 17:09
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It may be a different story for virgins over 30, but if you're an 18-29 year old male just go get drunk at a party or a bar every weekend night for like two months, you'll gently caress somebody. They'll probably be ugly, but chances are so are you, and you won't care when your drunk. If you don't drink or do drugs then you have a whole different set of problems.
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Feb 26, 2014 17:17
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tbp posted:My favorite part of this thread is the ego massaging that goes on with the whole "turns out later several deece girls actually wanted me a lot, I just didn't pick up on it" thing I don't think I'll ever get how these conversations come up in the first place. I guess I could vaguely see bumping into someone you liked pre-college and joking with them about how you had a crush on them and never asked them out or something but whenever it comes up it's always someone they're currently friends with and have been for a while.
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Feb 26, 2014 17:24
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Tequila Sunrise posted:If you don't drink or do drugs then you have a whole different set of problems. And by this, you have to leave your house/apartment/basement, it doesn't count if you do it alone in your residence. ArbitraryC posted:I don't think I'll ever get how these conversations come up in the first place. I guess I could vaguely see bumping into someone you liked pre-college and joking with them about how you had a crush on them and never asked them out or something but whenever it comes up it's always someone they're currently friends with and have been for a while. Eh, they usually come up when I'm shitfaced, and I think they're gambling on telling me when I won't remember.
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Feb 26, 2014 17:28
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tbp posted:My favorite part of this thread is the ego massaging that goes on with the whole "turns out later several deece girls actually wanted me a lot, I just didn't pick up on it" thing This is pretty consistent in all flavors of this thread. I think well over half the stories goons posted in the 'Post Past Regrets You Have' thread used some iteration of this.
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Feb 26, 2014 17:29
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kaworu posted:Something I wanted to say to the adult virgins in this thread is whether or not you have sought psychiatric help for your problem?
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Feb 26, 2014 17:34
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ArbitraryC posted:I don't think I'll ever get how these conversations come up in the first place. Do you not gossip with your friends about who likes whom?
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Feb 26, 2014 17:37
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ejstheman posted:Do you not gossip with your friends about who likes whom? If I had to guess they were whining about how no one would date them and then a person in a relationship who doesn't actually have to follow up on it says something to be nice. That's really the only context I could think of where this conversation would take place.
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Feb 26, 2014 17:48
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ArbitraryC posted:Well yeah but usually the liked person is a third party. I just don't really get where "I'm in a relationship now, better tell my lonely single friend who obviously would have dated me given the chance that I liked him when I was single" comes from. This seems like a super common story from goons but it doesn't really make any sense. It's 2014 if a girl is interested in you and not a total dork she can just ask you out. Some people, specifically goons, are shy and will release semi-anonymous messages that they hope will reach their intended target without directly approaching the person in question because they're a big baby.
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Feb 26, 2014 18:19
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pringledingle posted:Use your loving oven on broil That seems like a lot of work to make a grilled cheese sandwich.
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Feb 26, 2014 18:20
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Get a Vietnamese Wife.
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Feb 26, 2014 18:24
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serious norman posted:Get a Vietnamese Wife. And then she makes the grilled cheese?
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Feb 26, 2014 18:56
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serious norman posted:Get a Vietnamese Wife. perfect solution, hope you read that virgoons who can't get any and also people who use sandwich presses
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Feb 26, 2014 18:59
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I'd be surprised if someone didn't have one of those little grills stuffed away somewhere. They're given away like the loving plague at weddings and other events.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:07
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Agent Kool-Aid posted:I'd be surprised if someone didn't have one of those little grills stuffed away somewhere. They're given away like the loving plague at weddings and other events. I have one of those even though I lack a southeast asian wife.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:12
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I have never been offered a sandwich toaster at a wedding. What am I doing wrong?
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Feb 26, 2014 19:13
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Who the hell doesn't make grilled cheese in a frying pan?
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Feb 26, 2014 19:16
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memy posted:Who the hell doesn't make grilled cheese in a frying pan? This is their problem. This is why these men can't get laid. Nothing turns a woman on like a man who doesn't need a sandwich press to make grilled cheese.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:41
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ejstheman posted:For me personally, if a woman doesn't want at least a kiss before the end of our first date, I assume she's not into me and isn't forward enough to say it directly, and don't call her for a second date. I have some social anxiety and I tend to match similar people on OkCupid, and if we're both going to be slow/timid, the relationship is just wasting everyone's time. I think it's pretty normal to not kiss on the first date.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:51
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Zack_Gochuck posted:This is their problem. This is why these men can't get laid. Nothing turns a woman on like a man who doesn't need a sandwich press to make grilled cheese. I actually use whatever's convenient at the time on the rare occasion I do make one. It's also not that hard to get a guy to want a blowjob just from making them any sort of sandwich since I'm batting for both teams.  Not sure about advice for the straight goons, though. Learn how to cook like you're not goony as gently caress??
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Feb 26, 2014 19:52
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memy posted:Who the hell doesn't make grilled cheese in a frying pan? making toasted cheese sandwiches in anything other than a toasty machine is loving wrong and anyone who uses a frying pan to do it should feel bad about themselves and also throw themselves off a tall building
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Feb 26, 2014 19:54
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LemonDrizzle posted:toasty machine I think you should throw yourself off a tall building.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:56
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LemonDrizzle posted:making toasted cheese sandwiches in anything other than a toasty machine is loving wrong and anyone who uses a frying pan to do it should feel bad about themselves and also throw themselves off a tall building Nah your real fuckin dumb
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