I was crying earlier at the dog park over this. I don't know what to do  I don't think we can keep our dogs anymore. We just don't have the time to give them a good life. We got Jack and Weston, golden retrievers, in October 09. We were so happy with them. They were like our babies. They were half inside, half outside dogs. This, of course, meant our backyard was completely wrecked. They got to go to the dog park 2-4 times a week. We took them places. The day we brought them home:  Better days:  We now have a 2 year old baby and another one due in June. The dogs are no longer inside dogs because of the babies. The yard has been completely re-done and they are relegated to a 30x10 part of the side yard. I can only take them to the dog park on Sundays because my wife is always exhausted and I work full time. They've obviously put on weight from not being active enough. Now we are moving to a new house and I will build them another area about the same size, maybe a little bigger if I can, but nothing else is changing. I don't feel like I'm giving them a good enough life. I feel like the biggest failure of a dog owner. I don't know if I should try to find someone to adopt them or what. Bonus - last week at the lake: 
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Feb 23, 2014 23:29
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A terrible person would be someone who saw the situation and choose to ignore it. If circumstances have changed and you don't think they are getting as good a quality of life as you want for them then yes finding someone to adopt them is an idea. However they are not in immediate trouble so I wouldn't surrender them to a shelter.
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Feb 23, 2014 23:46
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Either contact the breeder you got them from or go through Golden rescue if it was a breeder who doesn't take their dogs back or help in rehoming them.
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Feb 24, 2014 00:11
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I know very little about toddlers and kids, but stick that kid in a jogging stroller, put no-pull harnesses on your dogs and start jogging. Dogs really need an outing at least once a day so they can run around and get tired. A yard is rarely enough, as you know. You could dog park every second day in lieu of a jog. Is there a safe field area nearby? I take my dogs to an unused soccer field and use a Chuck-It to throw tennis balls for them. I can literally stand in one spot and tire out two German shepherd dogs within 15 minutes. Cut back their food if they are gaining weight. Is there a reason your dogs can't come inside but be restricted to certain areas using baby gates? Like, they stay in the kitchen but are at least part of the household. If you cannot provide exercise and time with the family, you should rehome. Its ok if you end up doing this, you seem to really love those dogs and I know you won't make the decision lightly.
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Feb 24, 2014 00:14
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I'd love to be able to take them to the park everyday, but I can't. It may be hard to understand when you don't have human children, but I get home and only have a couple hours before she goes to bed. Wife also needs to unwind after all day with the baby. I have wrecked knees and can't jog, myself. I understand that they need more than I'm giving them and that's why I'm trying to figure out what to do  edit: coming in the house - no, there is no area they can be restricted to in any common living area. The problem is the hair everywhere and a baby getting a mouthful of hair (ask me how I know). This was even a problem before, and I brushed them A LOT. It is never ending with them.
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Feb 24, 2014 00:27
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Wojtek posted:I'd love to be able to take them to the park everyday, but I can't. It may be hard to understand when you don't have human children, but I get home and only have a couple hours before she goes to bed. Wife also needs to unwind after all day with the baby. I have wrecked knees and can't jog, myself. I understand that they need more than I'm giving them and that's why I'm trying to figure out what to do Yeah man, I hear you And I do sort of understand, as I am the firstborn sib by a decade so I saw how tired my parents were raising 2 kids that were 2 years apart. Is there a park nearby where you can throw a couple of balls for them? A ball per dog makes the outing quicker.
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Feb 24, 2014 00:30
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Our new house is closer to one of the parks, but it still doesn't solve the problem of not having enough time in the day. It's only going to get worse in June.
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Feb 24, 2014 00:32
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When I was a toddler, my family had dogs. Inside dogs. A dalmation, collie, later a greyhound and fox terrier. One of my earliest memories is being in my car seat and being licked in the face by Spot. I petted and played with the dogs and learned early the proper way to treat animals. The dogs loved having someone to play with and were my loyal guardians. My parents even caught me eating out of the dog bowl one or twice. There is plentiful evidence that early exposure to animals, especially dogs, decreases the odds of developing allergies. It makes me sad that there are kids who will never know the joy of being raised by dogs. Of course, caution and supervision are always advised, and it depends on the dogs and the child.
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Feb 24, 2014 00:33
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You said "a couple of hours" before your wife goes to bed, you could take the kiddos and dogs to the park once the new baby is old enough. Tuck baby Wojtek in a stroller and off you go. Was baby choking on the mouthful of fur? Maybe your dogs need a pro grooming, I understand their blowdriers and other stuff remove far more fur than what people can get accomplished at home. I don't know, I just can't see dog fur being prohibitive. Why did you get two Goldens if dog fur in the house was a problem? (rhetorical) You either have or make time for the dogs, get a giganto yard, or rehome Edit: and yard dogs are usually bad unhappy dogs. Goldens want to be with their people. Edit2: Rehoming is fine! Far better to realize this now than 3 or 5 years down the road. adventure in the sandbox fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 00:38
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It's totally fine to realize you aren't able to do enough for your pets and find a better situation for them. They're young, healthy purebred goldens so you should have no problem finding them a home. Definitely either contact the breeder you got them from or a golden retriever rescue to help you find the perfect fit for them like Topoisomerase said.
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Feb 24, 2014 00:39
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What are you doing with your mornings? A morning walk for the dogs would be great + less squirrels to distract dogs because I bet they pull you around like crazy.
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Feb 24, 2014 00:51
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cheese eats mouse posted:What are you doing with your mornings? A morning walk for the dogs would be great + less squirrels to distract dogs because I bet they pull you around like crazy. adventure in the sandbox posted:Was baby choking on the mouthful of fur? Maybe your dogs need a pro grooming, I understand their blowdriers and other stuff remove far more fur than what people can get accomplished at home. I don't know, I just can't see dog fur being prohibitive. Why did you get two Goldens if dog fur in the house was a problem? (rhetorical) We also wanted our kids to be around dogs. She likes to help feed them (and wants to give them a treat every time we feed them), but she does not like to touch them. I am going to talk to my wife about letting the dogs be inside dogs again. Had them shaved last summer and it seemed to help a lot. I'm very concerned that rehoming would split them up. Look at these dogs: 
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Feb 24, 2014 00:56
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And now for a more realistic post Rehome the dogs. Talk to your breeder. If they're worth a poo poo they'll help you rehome or take back the dogs. Go through a breed rescue if breeder won't or can't. A rescue won't split up a bonded pair. Don't use craigslist. And don't get a dog (1 dog, only 1 until you're ready for 2) until your kids are grown and gone. And do not shave. loving hell do not shave. cheese eats mouse fucked around with this message at 01:02 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 00:58
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cheese eats mouse posted:And do not shave. loving hell do not shave.
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Feb 24, 2014 01:01
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Shaving doesn't help them to not shed though. The shedding is because of new hair growth at the level of the follicles and all shaving does is clip off some length. For what it's worth, I think your initial intuition is right and you probably should try to rehome them. Your time is about to get even more scarce with another kid and this sounds like an aggravation that you don't need. I would work on trying to rehome them, and don't shave them before you do that because that will make them less appealing to potential adopters. Wherever you live, I'm sure there is a golden retriever rescue nearby. Please contact them.
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Feb 24, 2014 01:05
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It sucks, hindsight is a bitch, but parenting is pretty much the hardest thing I can think of. If having the dogs is making you that miserable then rehoming them is better than them rotting in the yard for the next 10 years. Edit: Also never get dogs again because they clearly don't fit with your lifestyle. Tasty_Crayon fucked around with this message at 05:35 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 01:11
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I'm not so sure that leaving them together is the best thing. IIRC, you've described some aspects of their personality previously that are pretty reminiscent of littermate syndrome, and that will make bonding with a new owner much harder. E: This is coming from a shelter/rescue perspective. If you have littermates that have been raised together and they exhibit any sign of littermate syndrome (one particularly timid, one or both freaking out when separated), I would expect them to adopt them out separately. This isn't a bad thing and it should make the dogs' lives easier. Engineer Lenk fucked around with this message at 02:35 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 02:19
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You're not a terrible person. A pet owner that realises they can't provide the best situation for their pets and resolves to do something about it is the best pet owner. Don't worry about the dogs - a rescue centre will absolutely make sure they go together as a pair. So many people, particularly families with slightly older kids would gratefully snap them up and have a wonderful life with them. You're going to have enough on your plate as it is soon enough. A new baby as well as a toddler who will be going through the 'terrible twos' greatly exacerbated by a new arrival is enough to push people to their absolute limits of patience and sanity. Don't try and be a martyr.
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Feb 24, 2014 02:25
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I don't get the point of this post. You made a stupid decision and... want us to pat you on the back for deciding to man up and fix it? The dogs are getting up to five years old now and they shouldn't need as much time as when they were puppies. But locking them in a kennel area for the rest of the day isn't fair. If you decide to commit to changes and to keeping them, find a dog walker or a daycare where they can get out some energy during the day, then they'll be easier for you and your family to handle in the house during the evening.
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Feb 24, 2014 06:02
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6-Ethyl Bearcat posted:I don't get the point of this post. You made a stupid decision and... want us to pat you on the back for deciding to man up and fix it?
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Feb 24, 2014 06:58
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Wojtek, what region do you live in? I know some people who would really love to have these dogs. V V V Sorry, they live far from that area Good luck anyway.
Ema Nymton fucked around with this message at 08:18 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 07:09
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Reno, NV. Are they cannibals? edit: a bad joke since they are dogs and not humans
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Feb 24, 2014 07:17
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Here is a rescue that works in your area: http://www.golden-rescue.org/index.php This is another one if you don't care for the first: http://www.homewardboundgoldens.org/ Topoisomerase fucked around with this message at 10:11 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 10:06
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pants cat posted:Don't worry about the dogs - a rescue centre will absolutely make sure they go together as a pair. A rescue will give one or the other or both to whoever comes along first to take them, and frankly it sounds like it would be the best thing for these dogs to split them up. vvv Most normal people don't want to deal with littermate syndrome issues in dogs that are already undersocialized. demozthenes fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 15:17
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demozthenes posted:A rescue will give one or the other or both to whoever comes along first to take them, and frankly it sounds like it would be the best thing for these dogs to split them up. Wow you must be around some really lovely rescues. Bonded pairs of dogs are adopted together only around here and it's a dreadful rescue enviroment all told.
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Feb 24, 2014 15:35
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Did you contact the breeder yet? A responsible breeder will take their dog back at any point in its life and some have it in the contract that you must do that if you decide you cannot keep the dog for whatever reason.
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Feb 24, 2014 16:56
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Skizzles posted:Did you contact the breeder yet? A responsible breeder will take their dog back at any point in its life and some have it in the contract that you must do that if you decide you cannot keep the dog for whatever reason. A responsible breeder wouldn't sell littermates as a pair.
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Feb 24, 2014 17:09
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Engineer Lenk posted:A responsible breeder wouldn't sell littermates as a pair. Breeder may still be responsible enough to take the dogs back.
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Feb 24, 2014 17:15
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I contacted both of the rescues suggested by Topoisomerase, specifically about keeping them together. Both of them say they would keep them together if that's what's best. One of them seems overly eager to get them, as in "when are you bringing them by" without even any discussion. Apparently they have 75 families waiting to adopt. I don't have a good feeling about this one. The other wrote back that some dogs are just forever pals  and that if they are bonded well it won't be a problem. She wrote back that since I was probably at work, to call her at my earliest convenience with any other questions and to talk about the process. I have a better feeling about this one.I also have been doing a lot of thinking and instead of being sad to lose them I should be happy for them to get the lives they deserve, but it's not helping me feel incredibly sad.
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Feb 24, 2014 19:01
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a life less posted:Breeder may still be responsible enough to take the dogs back. I highly doubt it. From what I recall, it was a glorified BYB who just had "champion lines" and didn't do anything of merit beyond throw some dogs together.
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Feb 24, 2014 19:20
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The breeder is also a rescue but something happened a few years ago that made them go nutty. I won't send them back there. Thanks for all the constructive posts. If you want to chide me for going to a BYB go ahead. Google golden acres fallon if you are really that interested.
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Feb 24, 2014 19:36
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Stop moping about and get in touch with the rescues that wanted to talk to you. Put your big boy pants on- this is about the dogs welfare and future and making sure they have a place to be and making sure your wife is okay.
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Feb 24, 2014 21:13
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I got in touch with them as soon as I could, jeez. They are coming to get them at 3 today. Thanks thread.
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Feb 24, 2014 21:39
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Uhm, some snarky replies in here. OP I'm sorry you had to give up your dogs, I can't imagine how hard that must have been to do less than 24 hours after reaching out in a thread like this. You did the right thing that many people find so hard to do that they simply don't. Goondolences, and I am happy to imagine them going to a family that has the time and space to make for them. Good luck with your growing human family 
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Feb 24, 2014 22:44
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To be fair we've been thinking about it for more than a day. I just broke down yesterday when I had them at the dog park. I just keep telling myself that it is for the best for them, my feelings be damned.
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Feb 24, 2014 23:04
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You did right, and they will be fine. Sometimes things can't work out and forcing them to will make them worse to the point where everyone is miserable. You were crying over what to do, the situation was making you distressed - that's not a good life for you or your family. I had to help a close, capable friend of mine rehome two young, healthy cats that were her pseudo children because she realised the situation was wrong for the cats and all of them were suffering. It happens. You're gonna feel bad, but you won't feel as awful as persisting long term with something that can't work.
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Feb 25, 2014 01:18
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Engineer Lenk posted:A responsible breeder wouldn't sell littermates as a pair. I thought about that too, but like a life less said I was hoping they could at least be somewhat responsible. But not if they're crazies now, yeesh. Sorry things wound up this way, OP. I'm just glad you're not selfishly holding on to them.
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Feb 25, 2014 01:20
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You're doing the right thing for them; that's never easy. If you were a terrible person you wouldn't care either way. Sorry for your troubles, man.
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Feb 25, 2014 01:22
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They're gone. I took a half day at work and just sat in the yard playing with them this afternoon. The lady who took them was awesome and she answered any of our questions. I said goodbye to them like 10 times. I feel sadness yet relief. Thanks for your support.
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Feb 25, 2014 01:28
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Wojtek posted:They're gone. I took a half day at work and just sat in the yard playing with them this afternoon. The lady who took them was awesome and she answered any of our questions. I said goodbye to them like 10 times. You didn't try and justify your situation and bend their lives to fit once you realised it was wrong. I'm not saying you should feel proud, but you shouldn't feel guilty about letting them go to new homes. Some rehoming groups will let you send christmas cards with toys (through their PO box), ask if you'd be allowed to?
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Feb 25, 2014 01:48
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