Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
The prediction thread is where we can all make- you guessed it- predictions! In the previous thread we had everything from the best thought out and detailed (and hilariously wrong)


The Puppy Bowl posted:

AFCN
Ravens 2
Bengals 5
Steelers
Browns

Reports of the Ravens' demise have been greatly exaggerated. That said they will be hurt a little by the absence of Boldin and some early troubles with a very young defense but by the end of the year they will be better than they were this past year. Even so the Bengals would win the division if it weren't for Andy Dalton holding them back. Steelers will be the Steelers until Big Ben gets hurt. Where the Bengals are an excellent team led by a mediocre Quarterback the Browns are a decent team led by a bad Quarterback, another sad season in Cleveland.


AFCE
Patriots 4
Dolphins 6
Bills
Jets

The Patriots defense will be a year improved with Jones and Hightower. Offseason hurt the pats but they have pieces that can still contribute on offense. I have no earthly clue how the dolphins are going to do, they definitely won the offseason though. Bills will be just under .500 because that is the world we live in. Jets will start Mark Sanchez because they love every NFL fan that doesn't root for the Jets.


AFCS
Texans 1
Colts
Titans
Jaguars

Texans drink the AFC's milkshake with a dynamic receiving duo, messianic RB, and a JJ Watt. The Colts don't get worse as much as the competition for the Wildcard gets better. Titans; can a football team suck if no one sees them fail? The Jaguars have Blaine Gabbert at starting Quarterback.


AFCW
Broncos 3
Chargers
Chiefs
Oakland

Easily the most improved division. San Diego and Kansas City decide to show up for the 2013 season making life a bit harder for the Broncos. Denver still wins the division but aren't the juggernaut most predict they will be. Rivers is either fully consumed by the int wraith that possessed him two years ago or returns to proper form, with a new coaching staff I guess he does well. Chiefs have a great defense, running back and now a QB who won't lose games for them. Everybody beats the poo poo out of Oakland giving the Raiders the first pick in the draft.


NFCN
Packers 2
Bears 6
Lions
Vikings

Green Bay is pretty darsh gone good for a team that doesn't bother to play defense. Bears just Squeak in.


NFCE
Cowboys 4
Redskins
Giants
Eagles

Nobody likes you NFCEast. Stop ruining primetime. America's Lament is back in the playoffs.


NFCS
Falcons 1
Panthers
Saints
Bucs

Saints aren't who they used to be. neither Carolina nor Tampa Bay pull it together. Atlanta coasts to the top seed.


NFCW
49ers 3
Seahawks 5
Rams
Cardinals

This division has awesome close games all year, including the Cardinals. No one escapes un-bloodied but two move on to the tournament.


Playoffs
3 Broncos
6 Dolphins

4 Patriots
5 Bengals

3 49ers
6 Bears

4 Cowboys
5 Seahawks

1 Texans
4 Patriots

2 Ravens
3 Broncos

1 Falcons
5 Seahawks

2 Packers
3 49ers

1 Texans
2 Ravens

1 Falcons
3 49ers


Superbowl

Atlanta
Houston

Tony Gonzales and Brian Banks get Superbowl rings :)

to the worst in every possible way

Farchanter posted:

AFC North

Pittsburgh (11-5)
Baltimore (9-7)
Cincinnati (6-10)
Cleveland (1-15)

AFC South

Houston (13-3)
Indianapolis (7-9)
Jacksonville (5-11)
Tennessee (4-12)

AFC East

New England (11-5)
Buffalo (11-5)
Miami (6-10)
New York (4-12)

AFC West

Denver (12-4)
San Diego (10-6)
Kansas City (8-8)
Oakland (7-9)

NFC North

Chicago (11-5)
Green Bay (8-8)
Minnesota (7-9)
Detroit (6-10)

NFC South

Carolina (10-6)
Atlanta (8-8)
Tampa Bay (7-9)
New Orleans (6-10)

NFC East

New York (12-4)
Dallas (10-6)
Philadelphia (10-6)
Washington (9-7)

NFC West

Seattle (9-7)
San Francisco (9-7)
Arizona (6-10)
St. Louis (3-13)

Wild Card Round

Dallas at Seattle
San Diego at New England
Buffalo at Pittsburgh
Philadelphia at Carolina

Divisional Round

New England at Denver
Seattle at Chicago
Philadelphia at New York
Pittsburgh at Houston

Championship Round

Pittsburgh at New England
Philadelphia at Chicago

Super Bowl

Philadelphia vs. Pittsburgh

MVP: Arian Foster
Coach of the Year: Doug Marrone
Super Bowl MVP: Michael Vick
Game of the year: Chicago comeback win over Seattle, NFC Divisional Round
Most posted-about moment: Brady leaves AFCCG with concussion, Tebow enters.
Week 17 flex game: Carolina at Atlanta
Super Bowl coin toss winner: Philadelphia
Halftime show: Billy Joel and Elton John
Will there be snow in the Super Bowl?: Yes



My prediction? That the 2014 MVP will be a quarterback.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Skillface
Oct 7, 2012
I'm going to predict that the Bucs are the ones that go worst to first this year, but it's mostly because every other option seems extremely unlikely.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Skillface posted:

I'm going to predict that the Bucs are the ones that go worst to first this year, but it's mostly because every other option seems extremely unlikely.

Texans.

smuggler
Apr 23, 2007
INSULTING THE PACKERS IS NOT AGAINST FORUM RULES, MORON


Not much of a prediction, but the NFC takes the Lombardi Trophy in 2014.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003


Ehhhhhhhh

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Intruder posted:

Ehhhhhhhh

If Foster is even half way decent this year your offense will be above average. Your defense will bounce back big with Clowney and a healthy Cushing. The Colts are still starting Erik Walden.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Chichevache posted:

If Foster is even half way decent this year your offense will be above average. Your defense will bounce back big with Clowney and a healthy Cushing. The Colts are still starting Erik Walden.

People have predicted good things from Fitzpatrick QB'd teams before

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK
Chiefs lose a bunch of games, people fall over themselves to find a reason why Alex Smith "regressed", and I sit back and sigh glumly.

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

Alex Smith has a record year, signs a reasonable extension, Parm sits back and sighs glumly.

Doltos
Dec 28, 2005

🤌🤌🤌
I predict that the Cowboys are going to be picking in the top 5 next year.

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

No Butt Stuff posted:

Alex Smith has a record year, signs a reasonable extension, Parm sits back and sighs glumly.

You know, if you say this sadly, then it's basically the same as my post.

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

Chichevache posted:

If Foster is even half way decent this year your offense will be above average. Your defense will bounce back big with Clowney and a healthy Cushing. The Colts are still starting Erik Walden.

Pretty much everything in this post aside from the Colts thing is a big-rear end question mark.

Healthy Cushing?
Halfway-decent (and healthy) Foster?
Clowney a Texan?


Anywho I predict the safest prediction of all, Houston sports radio will be terrible and people will unironically clamor for Vince Young still for some reason. :smug:

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

No Safe Word posted:

Pretty much everything in this post aside from the Colts thing is a big-rear end question mark.

Healthy Cushing?
Halfway-decent (and healthy) Foster?
Clowney a Texan?


Anywho I predict the safest prediction of all, Houston sports radio will be terrible and people will unironically clamor for Vince Young still for some reason. :smug:

Well of course they are question marks. This is the Predictions thread, not the "State Facts About Football" thread. And Clowney to the Texans is not a big rear end question mark. At worst it is a teeny tiny one. You're listening to too much Houston sports radio if you really think the Texans are going to take Manziel #1.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Doltos posted:

I predict that the Cowboys are going to be picking in the top 5 next year.

I think at this point Cowboys fans can better cope with a terrible season and Gerrett being fired than they can with another :effort: season and Garrett keeping his job indefinitely.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

No Safe Word posted:

Anywho I predict the safest prediction of all, Houston sports radio will be terrible and people will unironically clamor for Vince Young still for some reason. :smug:

Nah, it's Manziel's turn to step into that role of the guy the team should have drafted because you'd never have an unsold seat (you already never have unsold seats)

Seriously, it's the most ridiculous argument and every VY fan makes it. If you drafted VY, you'd have sold more tickets! Uhhh they sold EVERY ticket

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy
Minnesota might squeak into 3rd place as Detroit goes back to 4th under the rugged leadership of Caldwell

For real though I predict Minnesota's defense won't be a dumpster fire this year

axeil
Feb 14, 2006
I predict that the Raiders and Cowboys are going to be bad.

After the draft is done and camp starts I'll probably be willing to make a more specific prediction. March is way too early.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

axeil posted:

I predict that the Raiders and Cowboys are going to be bad.

After the draft is done and camp starts I'll probably be willing to make a more specific prediction. March is way too early.

When do we get the schedules for 2014? I probably should have waited until then to make the thread.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Middle of April typically.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

Chichevache posted:

When do we get the schedules for 2014? I probably should have waited until then to make the thread.

It's okay Chich. It's more fun to make vague predictions.

I think that the Lions will make the playoffs again :unsmith:

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Kalli posted:

Middle of April typically.

I predict they'll arrive on April 17th :haw:

Samadhi
May 13, 2001

axeil posted:

It's okay Chich. It's more fun to make vague predictions.

I think that the Lions will make the playoffs again :unsmith:

I predict the NFC North is going to be a bloodbath this year :nostradamus:

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

Parmesan Basil posted:

You know, if you say this sadly, then it's basically the same as my post.

I can't lose!

and i didn't notice that until you pointed it out.

Dattserberg
Dec 30, 2005

National champion, Heisman winner, King crab enthusiast
Detroit will loving blow, Caldwell pulls a Chud and is shown the door after this year along with Mayhew.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Lacking exemplary receivers, the Panthers will pioneer unorthodox offensive schemes, with the highlight being the dual-QB package of Cam Newton and Joe Webb, and they'll rack up over 4000 team-total rushing yards with the vaunted Quadruple Option

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Guess the thread title refers to the royal "we".

Also, another team is gonna win the Super Bowl this year for the first time.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

NC-17 posted:

Guess the thread title refers to the royal "we".

Also, another team is gonna win the Super Bowl this year for the first time.

That team will be the Browns

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

Intruder posted:

That team will be the Browns

You mean Eagles :getin:


:lol: just kidding it will be the Panthers :smith:

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont
Clowney sucks
New Orleans wins the superbowl
Kaep gets hurt
David Wilson is dead
The texans stay at the bottom
Seattle implodes and Russell has a poo poo year
AP hits the wall
Vick sucks
RG3 doesn't look much better than last year
Sean Lee plays all 16 games
Bortles is the best rookie QB
A well known TFF poster gets banned after going bonkers in a GDT
Panthers have the #1 defense and the #32 offense
CARDINALS WIN THE WEST

Division Winners:
Philly
Packers
Saints
Cards
Pats
Steelers
Colts
Mannings

Come at me motherfuckers

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Febreeze posted:

Sean Lee plays all 16 games

See the rest of the stuff is at least plausible

Sour Diesel
Jan 30, 2010

Ray Rice bounces back this year. Marlon Brown continues to be cool. Steelers win the North and the Browns finish the season with a winning record.

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

CODS BINCH

Febreeze posted:

Seattle implodes and Russell has a poo poo year

A well known TFF poster gets banned after going bonkers in a GDT

CARDINALS WIN THE WEST


RIP weez

Butthead
May 31, 2011
This is the year someone dies on the field during an NFL football game since 1971.

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle
i dont care enough to do entire division results.

AFC Playoffs
1 Broncos
2 Patriots
3 Ravens
4 Colts
5 Chiefs
6 Browns

look basically I just want Hoyer to actually be good and the Browns to be on track to be a good team. Its good for the soul.

NFC Playoffs
1 Niners
2 Saints
3 Packers
4 who the gently caress ever from the NFCE who loving cares anymore
5 Seahawks
6 Bears

Seahawks gonna regress a little, NFC north is pretty much a tossup between the Bears and the Packers, but its gonna be one of them.

Super Bowl: Broncos over Who Cares, a million to <a million, Peyton needs another ring, being less than Eli is a goddamn travesty.

smuggler
Apr 23, 2007
INSULTING THE PACKERS IS NOT AGAINST FORUM RULES, MORON


Cardinals make it to the playoffs. Eh, I'll say they make it to the NFC divisional round.

FeedingHam2Cats
Nov 10, 2009

Sour Diesel posted:

Ray Rice bounces back this year. Marlon Brown continues to be cool. Steelers win the North and the Browns finish the season with a winning record.


Ravens win the Superbowl

Big Ol Marsh Pussy
Jan 7, 2007

FeedingHam2Cats posted:

Ravens win the Superbowl

this, except the bengals

Sour Diesel
Jan 30, 2010

shiksa posted:

Peyton needs another ring, being less than Eli is a goddamn travesty.

It's actually the best thing ever.

The Incredible Ed
Nov 12, 2006

The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway.
Peyton Manning will lose the second of five superbowls in a row, taking the one thing from Doug Flutie Jim Kelly that even God could not.

The Incredible Ed fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Mar 27, 2014

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Robot_Rumpus
Apr 4, 2004

The Incredible Ed posted:

Peyton Manning will lose the second of five superbowls in a row, taking the one thing from Doug Flutie that even God could not.

Jim Kelly?

  • Locked thread