Describe Texas

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texaholic: Sep 16, 2007; Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

quote:

There�s a story about Chris Kyle: on a cold January morning in 2010, he pulled into a gas station somewhere along Highway 67, south of Dallas. He was driving his supercharged black Ford F350 outfitted with black rims and oversize knobby mudding tires. Kyle had replaced the Ford logo on the grill with a small chrome skull, similar to the Punisher emblem from the Marvel Comics series, and added a riot-ready aftermarket grill guard bearing the words ROAD ARMOR. He had just left the Navy and moved back to Texas.

Two guys approached him with pistols and demanded his money and the keys to his truck. With his hands in the air, he sized up which man seemed most confident with his gun.

Kyle knew what confidence with a gun looked like. He was the deadliest sniper in American history. He had at least 160 confirmed kills by the Pentagon�s count, but by his own count�and the accounts of his Navy SEAL teammates�the number was closer to twice that. In his four tours of duty in Iraq, Kyle earned two Silver Stars and five Bronze Stars with Valor. He survived six IED attacks, three gunshot wounds, two helicopter crashes, and more surgeries than he could remember. He was known among his SEAL brethren as The Legend and to his enemies as al-Shaitan, �the devil.�

He told the robbers that he just needed to reach back into the truck to get the keys. He turned around and reached under his winter coat instead, into his waistband. With his right hand, he grabbed his Colt 1911. He fired two shots under his left armpit, hitting the first man twice in the chest. Then he turned slightly and fired two more times, hitting the second man twice in the chest. Both men fell dead.

Kyle leaned on his truck and waited for the police.

When they arrived, they detained him while they ran his driver�s license. But instead of his name, address, and date of birth, what came up was a phone number at the Department of Defense. At the other end of the line was someone who explained that the police were in the presence of one of the most skilled fighters in U.S. military history. When they reviewed the surveillance footage, the officers found the incident had happened just as Kyle had described it. They were very understanding, and they didn�t want to drag a just-home, highly decorated veteran into a messy legal situation.

Chris Kyle was a real fuckin' Texan. We got a saying down here, You live by the gun, you die by the gun...

The most untexan thing about the whole thing is: Why wasn't he made an honorary sheriffs deputy afterwards? pretty inexplicable if you ask me

http://www.dmagazine.com/publications/d-magazine/2013/april/the-legend-of-chris-kyle-01

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:13

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 10:31

NecroMonster: Jan 4, 2009

it bad

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:15

texaholic: Sep 16, 2007; Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

NecroMonster posted:

it bad

Can you give me a little more to go on, boss?

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:15

NecroMonster: Jan 4, 2009

very not good texas bad

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:16

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

you guys should be flattered at being allowed an actual mass media identity

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:16

texaholic: Sep 16, 2007; Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

what shithole do you call home, punk?

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:16

not an endorsement: Mar 14, 2008; Personally, I think it's problematic that a sitting Senator has a racial slur for a last name.

texas: everything big but the dicks

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:17

Sponge Baathist: Jan 30, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

used tires and diarrhea

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:18

Schnedwob: Feb 28, 2014; my legs are okay

texaholic posted:

Describe Texas

flat and bleak and I hate all the people but that last one is true of everywhere :haw:

e: exclude hill country and bits of west texas for the first point

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:18

subhuman filth: Nov 1, 2006

sweaty, gay, flat

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:19

NecroMonster: Jan 4, 2009

dumb people dumb laws dumb schools dumb weather dumb state for dumb people

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:19

texaholic: Sep 16, 2007; Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

goons really do hate everything btw...

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:20

NecroMonster: Jan 4, 2009

addin chease to mexican food was a pgood idea tho but i bet new-mexico or arizona actually did that first

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:20

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

basically just north mexico

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:21

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

How many threads a week do you have to make about Texas? We get it, you love Texas!!

p.s. I was just in Dallas for the 80 degrees one day, 15 degrees the very next day weather. Good times.

Sophy Wackles fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Mar 26, 2014

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:21

Boombox Jackson: Nov 3, 2008

yeah texas is kind of rear end except for austin

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:21

fuccboi: Jan 5, 2004; by zen death robot

That was a cool story OP, I wootled softly to myself in my office. Thanks for sharing it

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:21

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

NecroMonster posted:

addin chease to mexican food was a pgood idea tho but i bet new-mexico or arizona actually did that first

mexicos a big place, they do that in some places

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:22

fits my needs: Jan 1, 2011; Grimey Drawer

Did he kill white people or black people this is important

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:22

Fishy Joe: Apr 19, 2005; Eat at Fishy Joe's

what if the second guy was just some guy that worked at the gas station? really makes ya think

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:22

NecroMonster: Jan 4, 2009

Boombox Jackson posted:

yeah texas is kind of rear end except for austin

lawl this is whate everyone from texas says in an attempt to defend their poo poo state

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:22

seal clubber: Jun 3, 2006

Lots of hats

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:22

NecroMonster: Jan 4, 2009

keep austin weird *fart*

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:23

BeefThief: Aug 8, 2007

Sounds like a p okay story to me. you mess with the bull...you git the horns.

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:24

Maoist Pussy: Feb 12, 2014; by Lowtax

Probably not as bad as it sounds if you were to first carpet-bomb Beaumont, Vidor and any white girl wearing a cowboy hat.

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:25

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

filled with fat people
texas is a huge poo poo hole
give to mexico

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:27

texaholic: Sep 16, 2007; Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

fits my needs posted:

Did he kill white people or black people this is important

Dallas sprawls North, East and West but not south.

South Dallas is very black-ghetto but it quickly becomes rural Texas, hard to say whether it was gangbangers or white trash TBH.

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:27

Schnedwob: Feb 28, 2014; my legs are okay

Maoist Pussy posted:

Probably not as bad as it sounds if you were to first carpet-bomb Beaumont, Vidor and any white girl wearing a cowboy hat.

and lubbock and anywhere in Dallas that you can't see the skyline from

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:27

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

"He was driving his supercharged black Ford F350 outfitted with black rims and oversize knobby mudding tires. Kyle had replaced the Ford logo on the grill with a small chrome skull, similar to the Punisher emblem from the Marvel Comics series, and added a riot-ready aftermarket grill guard bearing the words ROAD ARMOR."

What more needs to be said?

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:27

ate shit on live tv: Feb 15, 2004; by Azathoth

Texas is cool, but regionalism is gay.

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:31

Noctis Horrendae: Nov 1, 2013

too many white republican christians but that's kind of repetitive

extremely multicultural and acceptive so long as you're not muslim

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:31

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

"Hitler's sweaty asscrack"

is how i'd describe texas

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:33

Antifa Spacemarine: Jan 11, 2011; Tzeentch can suck it.

I guess those robbers learned they should shoot first and loot.

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:34

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

I love Texas but that story and that person are pretty lovely.

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:34

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

mostly bleak wasteland with lovely weather containing a bunch of people with mostly bad opinions

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:36

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Copley Depot posted:

"Hitler's sweaty asscrack"

is how i'd describe texas

that implies texas has a chance to be good

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:36

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

My only Texas experience was a one hour layover at DFW. I was stoned on narcotics and had enough time to stop at Taco Bell before having to ride a monorail to switch terminals...wasn't bad.

# ? Mar 26, 2014 19:37