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 Brazil are a footballing superpower. They are the most successful team in World Cup history, with five wins in 1958, 1962, 1970, 1994, and 2002, and are one of only two countries to ever win back-to-back World Cups. The top scorer in the history of the World Cup is a Brazilian. They are also the host country for this year's edition, and would like nothing more than Being the host country also means they qualified automatically and did not have to play qualifiers. While this means they have played less competitive matches, it doesn't mean they are any worse as a result. They also won the 2013 Confederations Cup, which doesn't really mean anything because that tournament is such a joke that last time it happened the United States beat Spain, who then won the World Cup anyway, because the Confederations Cup is irrelevant. Regardless, Brazil are one of the favourite teams to win the World Cup, right up there with Germany and Spain.  Brazil are managed by Luiz Felipe Scolari. Coincidentally, he was also the manager when Brazil won the World Cup in 2002. He then managed Portugal to the final of Euro 2004, before everyone decided there shouldn't be a final that year and went home, and then also managed them to a fourth place finish at the 2006 World Cup. He managed Chelsea for a year and was a big flop, so he succeeded that by literally managing at an oligarch cub in Uzbekistan, where he was the highest paid manager in the world and made 13 million euros a year to ignore the fact that he was getting rich off the exploitation of a country where people get boiled to death for opposing the regime. Anyway, eventually he ended up back in Brazil and got rehired to manage the team to World Cup glory. The hype is so high in Brazil that if Scolari does not actually win the World Cup, he will probably be sacked. If he made it to the final and lost, or finished in third place, or whatever, he would probably be sacked. And if he does win it, he'll probably retire. But he's one of the few managers to have actually won the World Cup before, so he knows what it takes. The Squad: Brazil being a footballing superpower, Scolari has an embarrassment of riches to choose from when selecting his squad. That being said, not every position on the pitch is a winner.  Julio Cesar, Goalkeeper (Toronto FC, CAN) Julio Cesar is a good goalkeeper, which is why it's such a mystery that he's ended up at one of the worst clubs in one of the worst leagues in the sport, on loan from a second division team in England that he doesn't want to leave because they're paying him way too much money. He's kind of chubby and out of shape, as well as being 34 years old, but he's still the best Brazil has got so he'll start every game unless something drastic happens.  Jefferson, Goalkeeper (Botafogo, BRA) Jefferson is a goalkeeper, I dunno much about him because he's never really left the Brazilian leagues. Has 9 caps to Julio Cesar's 78, so don't expect to see him on the pitch.  Victor, Goalkeeper (Atletico Mineiro, BRA) Same goes for Victor, only with 6 caps instead of 9. He's the youngest of the three, at age 31, but he's never played outside Brazil so not many global fans know him.  Dani Alves, Right Back (Barcelona, SPA) Dani Alves is a very good right back who has won shitloads of trophies with Barcelona. He loves bombing forward and is a serious attacking threat, but is fast enough and has enough stamina that this somehow doesn't make him a defensive liability. Scolari's Brazil plays with the fullbacks attacking a lot on the overlap, so expect to see Alves closer to the opposition's goal than his own most of the time.  Thiago Silva, Centre Back, Captain (PSG, FRA) Thiago Silva is the best centre back in the world, is rock solid defensively, and can still do insane things with the ball, as seen above. He has chosen to use his talents to make yachtloads of money dominating the French league on behalf of the country of Qatar, but he makes a formidable defensive bastion for Brazil anyway. He made GravityDaemon cry when he left Milan.  Sideshow Bob, Centre Back  (Chelsea, ENG)Sideshow Bob will soon be the most expensive defender in the history of football once his 40-50 million pound transfer to PSG goes through. He does not deserve that. He's great on the ball but a bit of a mentalist defensively. Gary Neville called him a "Playstation player", which is accurate as long as the person holding the playstation is me, because I am poo poo at defending on FIFA and David Luiz is poo poo at defending in real life. He is still Scolari's first choice partner for Thiago Silva.       Marcelo, Left Back (Real Madrid, SPA) Marcelo is a really good left back, like a left sided Dani Alves. He recently helped Real Madrid win their tenth European Cup by changing the game when he replaced Fabio Coentrao. He's seriously good going forward, and solid defensively as well. Like Alves on the right, the Brazil team relies a lot on him overlapping down the left, so expect to see him attack a lot. He also doesn't know how water bottles work.  Dante, Centre Back (Bayern Munich, GER) Dante is a very good centre back who played a pretty big role in Bayern's unreal season last year and their knockoff imitation unreal season this year. He's way better than David Luiz at defending but will probably not play anywhere near as much as he should.  Maxwell, Left Back (PSG, FRA) Maxwell is a good enough left back but he's never been Brazil's first choice. He used to play for Barcelona and wasn't really their first choice either. He probably won't play at all unless something happens to Marcelo.  Maicon, Right Back (Roma, ITA) Maicon used to be the best right back in the world until Gareth Bale murdered him and he spent a bizarre season at Manchester City when Roberto Mancini had completely lost the plot. He's still okay, I guess, but the question of whether he or Alves is better has pretty much been settled. Don't expect him to start except maybe in the third group match if Brazil have already qualified.  Henrique, Centre Back (Napoli, ITA) Henrique is kind of a surprise inclusion as I understand it, and I don't know much about him because I don't follow Serie A much. Don't expect him to play much, though.  Fernandinho, Midfielder (Manchester City, ENG) Fernandinho is quite a tidy player who was completely overlooked for Brazil for a long time because he played in Ukraine. As soon as he moved to a club in a big league he got noticed and appreciated for his patient holding work in midfield and started getting called up. In club football he's played next to Yaya Toure as a defensive presence. He may not start for Brazil but he will probably be one of their first choice replacements in one of the two holding midfield positions.  Ramires, Midfielder (Chelsea, ENG) Ramires runs and runs and runs. He'll run all day, and then run some more. He's a very versatile player, because it turns out that running and running and running can fit in well at almost any position on the pitch. Could crop up anywhere but will probably be mostly played in central midfield because the two wide forward positions are filled by the team's stars.  Hernanes, Midfielder (Internazionale, ITA) I don't know much about Hernanes, to be honest, but he's always getting linked to big money clubs like Manchester City so he's probably doing something right. Someone who follows Italian football closer than I do could probably tell you more.  Oscar, Midfielder (Chelsea, ENG) Oscar is really quite a good attacking midfielder, who's been responsible for a lot of Chelsea's good play over the last couple of years. He's currently in the "falling out" stage with his club manager, Jose Mourinho, who will steadily isolate him for playing with flair rather than tracking back to tackle opposition wingers at his own corner flag, but expect him to be a big part of Brazil's attack in the World Cup.  Willian, Winger (Chelsea, ENG) Willian is a pretty good winger who, much like Fernandinho, was ignored for a long time because he played in Ukraine and then Russia. He's a good dribbler, he's quick, he's got good movement, and he's willing to track back, but his finishing could use some work. He won't start for Brazil, they have better options on the wings.  Luiz Gustavo, Midfielder (Wolfsburg, GER) Luiz Gustavo is a good defensive midfielder who was very solid for Bayern, including during their crazy good season last year. Then they sold him because Pep Guardiola hates nonwhites, and a bunch of English posters moaned about how he would be perfect for their clubs but he decided to stay in an actually cool and good country instead.  Paulinho, Midfielder (Tottenham, ENG) Paulinho could have signed for a big club when he left Brazil last summer, but he signed for Spurs instead and they were poo poo, and we all laughed. Still, Paulinho was one of the bright spots in their extraordinary waste of money last summer, and he makes quite a good holding midfielder. He may well start for Brazil at the World Cup and then move to a proper club, but Brazil have so many candidates for their two central midfield spots that it's definitely not guaranteed.  Bernard, Midfielder (Shakhtar Donetsk, UKR) Bernard is really young, only 21, and is breaking the mold by being called up for Brazil even while playing in Ukraine. This is extra special because he's playing in the part of Ukraine that really doesn't want to be part of Ukraine at the moment, and the airport he probably flew out of to get to Brazil for the World Cup was recently the location of an actual gunfight in which 30 people died. Anyway, Bernard is good I guess? I dunno, he's too young and only left Brazil for Ukraine last year so I don't know a ton about him. I wouldn't expect to see him play a lot given how many other good midfielders Brazil has.  Fred, Striker (Fluminense, BRA) Fred scored the fastest goal in professional football history, apparently, while playing in Brazil as a youngster, scoring against Vila Nova after 3.17 seconds. He was also a good player at Lyon in France while they won like five league titles in a row, but other than that he's never played outside Brazil. Regardless of that fact, he's the first choice striker for Brazil at the moment, and tends to perform well for the national team. Really, though, his job isn't to score goals, it's just to take up space and occupy defenders so that the better players around him can find gaps in the opposition defence.  Jo, Striker (Atletico Mineiro, BRA) Jo has played all over the loving place but he was really, really bad for a couple of years in England so that's what most people know him for. I guess he's been okay since going back to Brazil, but really the fact that they called up loving Jo shows you that striker is not Brazil's strongest position. They hosed up by not calling up Diego Costa before he decided Spain was a cooler place and also that he loved doping.  Hulk, Striker/Wide Forward (Zenit St. Petersburg, RUS) Hulk is one of the team's two stars and literally one of my favourite players in the whole wide world. He makes shitloads of money playing in Russia. Previously he played for Porto and was really loving good there. He's really loving good at football and can hit the ball like a cannon. Seriously, look at this loving goal. This guy is awesome.  Neymar, Striker/Wide Forward (Barcelona, SPA) Unfortunately we don't get to end on a high because this fucker came along. The undisputed #1 star of the team, Neymar is Brazil's next great hope. He scores some good goals but also showboats and dives a lot. Expect a lot of confused, angry Americans to get upset when they see him rewarded for diving, and cry about him ruining the beautiful game or whatever, and being the reason why Americans will never be into football, for which we thank him. Scolari likes playing him and Hulk on the wings, where they move into space created by Fred and have the fullbacks overlap past them on the outside. It's a pretty good system that's built to get the best out of Neymar and Hulk. It remains to be seen how well it works against proper defences in competitive fixtures, but it should be fun to watch.  As the hosts of the tournament, Brazil are in Group A and will kick off the tournament against Croatia. If they don't make it out of the group, expect someone to literally murder Scolari and possibly Neymar. If they don't make it to the semifinals, expect Scolari to get sacked in the tunnel. If they don't win it, expect him to still get sacked, only not in the tunnel.  Brazil have cool and good fans and every stadium will be full of them because the World Cup is in Brazil, but they will cheer their hardest for Brazil's own team, which they might also call Le Selecao only you shouldn't call them that because that's the World Cup equivalent of putting the little curly thing on the C and writing Barca all the time, so gently caress you if you think that's cool. Anyway Brazil will be a team that should go far and you should expect to see them in the later stages of the tournament. It will be a real shock and upset if they're knocked out by anyone other than one of the other favourite teams. vyelkin fucked around with this message at 20:10 on May 27, 2014 |
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May 27, 2014 19:01
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Bunch of nobodies.
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May 27, 2014 19:02
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Here's hoping Brazil doesn't make it out of the group stage.
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May 27, 2014 19:10
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Here's to another Maracanaço, gents
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May 27, 2014 19:12
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Bit disparaging and innacurate about £50m PSG man David Luiz there, op.
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May 27, 2014 19:13
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vyelkin posted:
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May 27, 2014 19:13
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They don't have computers or the internet in Brazil yet, that's why they needed a f*cking Canadian to make their thread.quote:Jesus. They even need us to open their water bottles. Something got lost in the DNA mix... Mean Bean Machine fucked around with this message at 19:38 on May 27, 2014 |
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May 27, 2014 19:16
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Mean Bean Machine posted:They don't have computers or the internet in Brazil yet, that's why they needed a f*cking Canadian to make their thread. I guess you should have been better colonial overlords then.
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May 27, 2014 19:17
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Julio Cesar is not the best Brazil has, not by a long shot. Both Jefferson and Victor are far, far superior to him, and the best wasn't even called up (Diego Alves). Hell, there was a poll in Brazil of who should be the starter, and Julio Cesar got less than 2% of the votes. Pretty much everyone I know in Brazil is certain that Julio Cesar is going to gently caress up. Comparing him to Barbosa (goalkeeper in the Maracanaco) is a cliche in Brazilian media at this point. As for Bernard, this was him at 19: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KISCw-7KrHY
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May 27, 2014 20:06
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vyelkin posted:
He loving owns in fifa so that probably means he's Pretty Terrible IRL, OP. (See also David Luiz and Fellaini)
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May 27, 2014 20:08
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lmao I had forgotten about the water bottle incident, these WC threads are bringing back so many beautiful memories
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May 27, 2014 20:25
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what you posted about Oscar not tracking back is about Hazard
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May 27, 2014 20:48
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Hernanes was an absolute legend at Lazio...he is legitimately good.
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May 27, 2014 21:00
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vivisectvnv posted:Hernanes was an absolute legend at Lazio...he is legitimately good. He also cried a lot when he got transferred from one bunch of fascists (Lazio) to another (Inter) so take that as you will
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May 27, 2014 23:01
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That's a great op imo
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May 28, 2014 01:58
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Hernanes is good and I was mad as hell when he went to Inter. He's got Pirlo level long passing ability and he's faster. Henrique is surprising but I bet he was picked because Scolari coached him at Palmeiras. He is decent, but I've only seen him play for like 5 games this season as he arrived in January and from that I can't say he's anything special. He wont be playing anyway, and I think Marquinhos or Miranda would have been a better choice.
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May 28, 2014 02:01
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Artur is older than Julio Cesar yet he's a thousand times better. He's as agile as a cat. Can't wait for Hulk. loving love Hulk, specially now that he's not battering Benfica's goal.
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May 28, 2014 03:12
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Hulk isn't incredible 
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May 28, 2014 03:41
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pik_d posted:Hulk isn't incredible His rear end is incredible thats for sure like drat 
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May 28, 2014 06:01
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quiet enjoyment posted:His rear end is incredible thats for sure like drat posting for the first time ever in this forum to say meu deus
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May 28, 2014 06:47
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I will probably enjoy watching brazil play, OP they are good at our lovely sport
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May 28, 2014 10:42
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mynameisjohn posted:what you posted about Oscar not tracking back is about Hazard It is and actually Mou loves how much defensive work Oscar does
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May 28, 2014 12:45
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quiet enjoyment posted:His rear end is incredible thats for sure like drat Nossa 
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May 28, 2014 13:32
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Bernard loving owned with Mineiro, and is probably going to be really famous some day. Jo, Dinho, and Bernard on the same team wasn't even fair.
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Jun 3, 2014 01:09
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Some poor Brazilians have organized an alternative World Cup, contested by teams made up of people evicted from the favelas for the World Cup. http://www.aljazeera.com/sport/brazil2014/features/2014/05/brazil-poor-stage-an-alternative-world-cup-2014530124916700539.html
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Jun 3, 2014 09:57
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It's loving digusting how brutal he government has been to make sure the country's troubled areas appear "pretty" for the tourists. The worst part is that pre-Lula the death toll would be even worse. This is a "soft" approach.
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Jun 3, 2014 13:12
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Brazil is playing Panama
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Jun 3, 2014 20:06
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Enter sadman
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saihttam posted:Brazil is playing Panama David Luiz cunting it up already Edit: Just a reminder that Panama is the team that nearly knocked Mexico out during the Hex but decided that injury time was no time to preserve a lead, that would have sent them to the playoff vs. New Zealand or whoever it was, against the team top of the qualifying (that's  , by the way).
pik_d fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Jun 3, 2014 |
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Jun 3, 2014 20:17
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Neymar gets a goal against Panama. I guess he's found his level.
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Jun 3, 2014 20:40
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Grimble posted:Neymar gets a goal against Panama. I guess he's found his level. It was pretty good to be fair https://vine.co/v/MpFhz5OrBDJ
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Jun 3, 2014 20:41
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pik_d posted:It was pretty good to be fair That's a very good free kick against a pretty weak wall.
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Jun 3, 2014 20:43
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Neymar is literally diving and arguing with the referee in a game against Panama.
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Jun 3, 2014 20:53
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That was a nice goal. Very Brazilian.
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Jun 3, 2014 21:09
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Hulk's butt has scored a goal
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Jun 3, 2014 21:15
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Julio Cesar this close to letting that one in
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Jun 3, 2014 21:18
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Does anyone actually know what the call was for when the ref didn't give the red/pen? What did he even call it back to?
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Jun 3, 2014 21:49
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pik_d posted:Does anyone actually know what the call was for when the ref didn't give the red/pen? What did he even call it back to? Nope, they didn't explain it. Only thing I can think of is someone was offside prior to the handball. But even then, shouldn't the guy who knocked the ball out of the goal get a red card? Even if the play was stopped (which obviously nobody noticed)?
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Jun 4, 2014 07:36
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Actually op Brazilian fans are not cool or good and are in fact terrible losers and even worse winners and they can't handle the banter at all.
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Jun 4, 2014 15:48
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beedeebee posted:Nope, they didn't explain it. Only thing I can think of is someone was offside prior to the handball. But even then, shouldn't the guy who knocked the ball out of the goal get a red card? Even if the play was stopped (which obviously nobody noticed)? If the ball wasn't in play then no goal-scoring opportunity existed, so there wouldn't be any reason to send him off. I've watched it back several times and I cannot figure it out. The Brazilian player who went up for the last header was in an offside position but the ball was played last by a Panamanian player so it shouldn't matter. And even if you decide that the Panamanian player's touch was a deflection and shouldn't count as playing the ball, you'd go back to the previous touch by a Brazilian when he was clearly onside. Either way, he should have been fine. The only other thing I can think is that the player who initially headed the ball from the free kick might have been a hair offside. Either way, the play continued on for some time. It's a shame there's no angle that shows what the AR was doing, that might shed at least some light. You'd think though, that if the AR was flagging the whole Panamanian side would be pointing or rushing over to him - but they don't. Whole thing was totally bizarre. edit: Link, until it gets taken down https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO2sAw6i3N4 (starts around 44:00) Lamont Cranston fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Jun 4, 2014 |
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Jun 4, 2014 16:31
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 22:57 |
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sassassin posted:Actually op Brazilian fans are not cool or good and are in fact terrible losers and even worse winners and they can't handle the banter at all. I never realized you were Brazilian.
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Jun 4, 2014 16:44
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