TexPol: abundant mosquitoes so big they can stand flat-footed and fuck a chicken

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > TexPol: abundant mosquitoes so big they can stand flat-footed and fuck a chicken

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zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Hot Dog Day #91 posted:

And I'm curious why Paxton is the worst? He seems exactly the same as Abbott.

Abbott was a anti-Federal government AG. Paxton is a social conservative AG. Paxton is a true believer that is close personal friends with Rick Santorum.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 15:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 00:01

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

Hot Dog Day #91 posted:

Why are we so excited about this? If Paxton is kill, Abbott will just appoint someone in his place. Probably the exact same type of person. Remember Abbott was AG for 12 years.

We're still so fresh into the term, I'd expect he could only appoint a replacement to serve until a special election can be held.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 15:02

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Hot Dog Day #91 posted:

And I'm curious why Paxton is the worst? He seems exactly the same as Abbott.

Not only is he the crazy anti-fed type like Abbot but he's massively in the social right wing camp too, and unlike Abbot who was a lovely human being but at least pretended he had to not let his social poo poo bias him. Paxton proudly uses that poo poo to bias him as much as possible.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 16:43

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Dan Patrick's tea party advisory group is disbanding because the Legislature isn't bugfuck crazy enough for their tastes.

quote:

During the recent legislative session, the board of tea party activists that advised Patrick described a major bipartisan pre-K initiative championed by Gov. Greg Abbott as socialist and keeping children in a �Godless environment.� The initiative passed, including in the Texas Senate over which Patrick presides, and Abbott signed it into law.

Also late in the session, leading tea party activists signed a letter warning lawmakers that they were dissatisfied by the meager results the Legislature gave to the tea party agenda. It singled out Abbott, Patrick and House Speaker Joe Straus, saying if these �liberty-advancing, government-restraining bills die, once again, we will get excuses rather than results.�

Among issues unresolved according to the letter: securing the Texas-Mexico border, stricter immigration policies, tougher anti-abortion restrictions and �school choice,� or voucher programs funneling public money to private schools.

Among other tea party initiatives that failed was a bill to exempt Texas from daylight saving time, which was sidelined amid concerns that refusing to roll back the clocks could leave Texans choosing between church services and watching Dallas Cowboys games on fall Sundays. Also dropped was a proposal banning the Alamo from falling under the control of the United Nations.

The backlash was greatest over lawmakers� passage of the pre-K expansion and their failure to repeal Texas� 2001 law offering in-state tuition to some college students in the country illegally and to pass school vouchers.

# ? Jul 4, 2015 05:51

Spiritus Nox: Sep 2, 2011

The Paxton news hit literally a day or two after I discovered that a friendly college acquaintance of mine is actually Paxton's son. Kind of glad I discovered beforehand - the guy I know always seemed like a decent enough guy (though I don't know poo poo about his politics) that I'd feel like a bit of an rear end in a top hat if I posted "MAN I HOPE THIS GUY GOES TO JAIL FOREVER" on social media where the acquaintance could see it. Small world.

# ? Jul 4, 2015 06:31

Captain Bravo: Feb 16, 2011; An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

PostNouveau posted:

Among other tea party initiatives that failed was a bill to exempt Texas from daylight saving time

Sometimes, the tea party just makes me think "What in the goddamned gently caress?" :psyduck:

# ? Jul 4, 2015 07:53

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Captain Bravo posted:

Sometimes, the tea party just makes me think "What in the goddamned gently caress?"

That's the most sensible thing they've ever proposed by a long shot.

# ? Jul 4, 2015 08:06

i say swears online: Mar 4, 2005

wait did the DST thing really fail because of football?

# ? Jul 4, 2015 08:16

Captain Bravo: Feb 16, 2011; An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

PostNouveau posted:

That's the most sensible thing they've ever proposed by a long shot.

I just don't understand how that, in any way, ties in with the rest of their party platform. It's so completely out of left field.

# ? Jul 4, 2015 08:19

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Captain Bravo posted:

I just don't understand how that, in any way, ties in with the rest of their party platform. It's so completely out of left field.

I think it's falls under the "You can't tell me what to do" part of their platform.

# ? Jul 4, 2015 08:43

Slow News Day: Jul 4, 2007

PostNouveau posted:

Dan Patrick's tea party advisory group is disbanding because the Legislature isn't bugfuck crazy enough for their tastes.

As a side note, I like that "tea party" is no longer capitalized, and has become a regular adjective akin to "batshit crazy."

# ? Jul 4, 2015 11:28

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Haha. Paxton now has an employment scandal brewing. Gave government jobs to staffers of his campaign without posting the openings.

# ? Jul 5, 2015 03:02

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Also as of Saturday an Austin state representative have filed to have him disbarred for encouraging clerks to violate the law. A bunch of lawyers from around the state are threatening to file their own complaint.

However the Texas Bar is coming up for consideration by the Sunset Commission so I'm hesitant to get excited about the prospects of the complaints.

# ? Jul 5, 2015 13:40

Badger of Basra: Jul 26, 2007

Texas Tribune ran a very weird story about how bad it is that schools won't be able to fine or jail truant kids anymore. Not quite sure what to make of it.

http://www.texastribune.org/2015/07/12/schools-courts-worry-about-truancy-law/

quote:

GARLAND � On a summer day when she could be just about anywhere else, 15-year-old Brooke Swartz stands next to her mom in cheeky Bart Simpson Converse high-tops, facing a judge. In one hand, Swartz holds a sheaf of paper, including proof that she attended school and a book report on To Kill A Mockingbird.

In her wallet, she has the $170 in hard-earned babysitting cash she'll soon fork over to a court clerk, the first payment on her $229 fine for skipping school with friends.

"I was upset with myself, scared because I have to come to court," Swartz said after her five- minute truancy hearing, her second court appearance, to answer for 10 unexcused absences during freshman year at Lakeview Centennial High School. Swartz will return to court in September to settle her fine and turn in logs of her community service efforts. The entire legal episode has her vowing never to skip again.

"I rather go to class," she said.

For Swartz, Texas' current truancy law, which allows schools to file misdemeanor charges against students who play hooky too often, appears to be working the way its designers hoped. A trip through adult court, with potential adult consequences, was enough to get her attention.

But the rules will change when students return to school this fall, and there is widespread disagreement on what to expect.

Right now, school administrators, court personnel and elected officials are wading through nearly 100 pages of what was House Bill 2398, but will on September 1 become the state's new truancy law. It eliminates criminal court hearings and stints in adult jail for repeat truants, requires schools themselves to do more to address attendance problems and allows the courts to be involved only as a last resort.

Supporters applauded the law when it passed, saying it was about time Texas stopped treating school skippers as criminals.

But many of those who work directly with students under the current law worry that they are losing tools that have worked well in cases like Swartz's. Officials with school districts and the courts fear the move will cost taxpayers more by forcing school districts to figure out how to solve problems with unexcused absences.

But more importantly, they say, reducing truancy from a class C misdemeanor to a civil fine will drive school attendance rates down, and push up the drop-out rate.

"You're fixing to lose a lot of children, absolutely," said Mike Cantrell, the Dallas County commissioner who once heard truancy cases as a justice of the peace in the 1980s. "Attendance will go down, and the drop-out rate will go up."

It's a claim echoed in emails sent from school officials from across the state to Gov. Greg Abbott, urging him to veto the bill, which received the governor's signature last month.

"This bill decriminalizes truancy and I worry if it passes that our drop out rates will increase exponentially," wrote Jennifer Jordan, a high school social studies teacher in the Abilene Independent School District.

But the law's author, state Rep. James White, R-Hillister, and juvenile justice advocates dismiss those claims.

"It's a canard," White said. "You have to ask yourself a question. Is that necessarily a reason to criminalize being absent from school? Because someone says or believes that the drop-out rate is going to increase?"

Texas Appleseed, a social advocacy group, has researched truancy in Texas, and found that more than 115,000 truancy cases were filed in 2013 � more than all other states combined. Deb Fowler, the group's executive director, rejects the notion that criminal prosecution has any impact on attendance.

"There is absolutely no evidence � zero research � that supports such a punitive approach to chronic absence or attendance problems," she said. "In fact, there is research that shows that court-based interventions are largely ineffective as an intervention."

In 1995, truancy became a class C misdemeanor in Texas and students with 10 unexcused absences in a year were referred to adult courts, usually either justices of the peace or municipal judges, who aren't required to hold law degrees.

Students could be fined, and if they violated a judge's orders � say, failing to complete community service, or return to court � those 17 or older could be jailed. Students often complied with the fines because judges also can suspend their driver's licenses. To get a suspension lifted, they have to come to court and prove the fines have been paid.

Texas data on juveniles and truancy is sketchy at best. No uniform collection method exists, though justices of the peace and municipal judges are supposed to tell the Austin-based Office of Court Administration how many truancy cases are filed.

But since multiple cases might be filed against the same student, the state's numbers don't capture how many students are involved. Fort Bend and Dallas counties keep their own data.

BuzzFeed reported this year that at least 1,000 students in Texas have been ordered to jail for truancy-related charges.

But it's not clear how many students have actually spent the night in jail, or how many of those opted to spend a night in jail to pay off the fine.

Dallas County confirmed to The Texas Tribune that at least 22 students since January 2013 went to jail for failing to pay truancy fines. Of those, seven requested to go to jail after a judge determined they had the ability to pay their fines and one other received credit for jail time served for another crime.

Appleseed was unable to get jail numbers for Dallas County and is now locked in an open records battle for those records with the district attorney's office and is waiting on numbers from Bexar County. It found that more than 1,300 students were arrested for truancy and truancy-related charges in 13 counties: Brazoria, Harris, Williamson, El Paso, Cameron, Denton, Hidalgo, Nueces, Montgomery, Travis, Tarrant, Collin and Fort Bend.

The law was modified in 2011 through efforts by state Sen. John Whitmire, D-Houston, so that no child 10 years or younger could be assessed a fine.

In 2013, a law authored by Whitmire that would have decriminalized truancy passed the Legislature but was vetoed then-Gov. Rick Perry. This session, legislation passed again and was signed by Abbott.

But even as lawmakers were moving to scale back truancy punishment, Dallas County was trying to make the existing law work better, streamlining the process and putting lawyers in charge.

In 2003, Dallas County established separate truancy courts, all overseen by attorneys as judges. Today there are five such courts in Dallas County. Fort Bend County adopted the specialized courts a few years later.

Many on the front lines � teachers, school administrators and court personnel � have shied away from commenting publicly now that the new law has been signed. Privately, they remain unconvinced of its wisdom. Students already on the fringes will just leave school all together, they believe. Schools already struggling to address attendance problems will have to fund more staffers to create more programs to abide by the law.

"That's what it does, throws it back on the school district," said Debbie Durko, court administrator for the municipal court in North Richland Hills, near Fort Worth. "They're being told to do all this extra work, but they're not given any additional funds."

Durko says her court is already working with schools to keep students on campus and not in jail. Her court, like many across the state, will be meeting with lawyers in the next few weeks to be updated on the law and redo existing programs to be in compliance come September.

Critics of the current Texas truancy system say that no matter the number of students involved, it unfairly singles out minority and poor students.

Fowler of Texas Appleseed, which has been lobbying to decriminalize truancy, says the current law has disproportionately affected low-income, Hispanic, black and disabled students. Some 20 percent of cases filed during the 2013-14 school year involved African-American students.

Appleseed was among those filing a complaint with the U.S. Department of Justice in 2013 about Dallas County�s truancy courts, where more students are prosecuted for truancy than any other, some 36,000 in just 2012.

The Justice Department opened a civil investigation in late March. About the time it was announced, Dallas County's practice of placing truant students in handcuffs who did not appear in court, ended quietly. "You will not find an email about it," one official told the Tribune.

Shortly after the federal investigation was announced into Dallas County's truancy courts, Fort Bend placed a halt on truancy cases in that county.

There's been no findings released by the Justice Department yet, but it is thought that the passage of White's bill may take the sting out of any final report.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 22:05

TheMaskedChemist: Mar 30, 2010

Badger of Basra posted:

Texas Tribune ran a very weird story about how bad it is that schools won't be able to fine or jail truant kids anymore. Not quite sure what to make of it.

http://www.texastribune.org/2015/07/12/schools-courts-worry-about-truancy-law/

Well we can question the efficacy of standard teaching methods, and work to make school a more enriching fulfilling place that students want to be, or we can throw kids in jail, allowing the penitentiary system to profit off them.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 02:17

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

It doesn't hurt this white middle-class student, so clearly it's beneficial for all kids of every economic class and ethnicity!

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:21

Thermos H Christ: Sep 6, 2007; WINNINGEST BEVO

I hope everyone's Jade Helm internment is proceeding in a smooth and orderly fashion. I totally call a top bunk when we get to the Wal-Mart.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 19:56

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

Thermos H Christ posted:

I hope everyone's Jade Helm internment is proceeding in a smooth and orderly fashion. I totally call a top bunk when we get to the Wal-Mart.

Currently in line for my mandatory gay marriage, Obama keeps buzzing us on his Hope Quadcopter

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:01

TheMaskedChemist: Mar 30, 2010

Thermos H Christ posted:

I hope everyone's Jade Helm internment is proceeding in a smooth and orderly fashion. I totally call a top bunk when we get to the Wal-Mart.

Man, you guys got bunks? Not fair, we just have a bunch of blankets in the garden center.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:03

Trabisnikof: Dec 24, 2005

The rumor I'm starting is that they've come to add vinegar to all the bbq.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:03

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

So what's going to be the nutball justification for why it didn't actually go down as Obama's secret plan to take over Texas?

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:05

Trabisnikof: Dec 24, 2005

zoux posted:

So what's going to be the nutball justification for why it didn't actually go down as Obama's secret plan to take over Texas?

Their vigilance and militias worked! They, personally, stopped the Obama takeover of Texas. Much like Bundy stopped the Federal takeover of his ancestral lands.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:06

Spacebump: Dec 24, 2003; Dallas Mavericks: Generations

zoux posted:

So what's going to be the nutball justification for why it didn't actually go down as Obama's secret plan to take over Texas?

The justification will be Governor Abbott stopped it by having the Texas National Guard observe the exercise.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:10

Parachute: May 18, 2003

Spacebump posted:

The justification will be Governor Abbott stopped it by having the Texas National Guard observe the exercise.

Can they even physically observe this? Maybe I'm thinking of just the random weirdos who are showing up in Bastrop.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:12

Trabisnikof: Dec 24, 2005

Parachute posted:

Can they even physically observe this? Maybe I'm thinking of just the random weirdos who are showing up in Bastrop.

Its not that hard to just sit on the side of the road and wait for a convoy to roll by.

EDIT: THIS JUST IN FROM THE HOMEFRONT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSkxWrJbXK4

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:13

Goatse James Bond: Mar 28, 2010; If you see me posting please remind me that I have Charlie Work in the reports forum to do instead

Spacebump posted:

The justification will be Governor Abbott stopped it by having the Texas National Guard observe the exercise.

And more importantly the Texas State Guard, his very own personal paramilitary. :3:

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:16

Parachute: May 18, 2003

Trabisnikof posted:

Its not that hard to just sit on the side of the road and wait for a convoy to roll by.

EDIT: THIS JUST IN FROM THE HOMEFRONT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSkxWrJbXK4

EVERYONE STOP WORKING AND WATCH THIS NOW. WE HAVE ALL BEEN FLEECED!

# ? Jul 16, 2015 20:20

Toph Bei Fong: Feb 29, 2008

zoux posted:

So what's going to be the nutball justification for why it didn't actually go down as Obama's secret plan to take over Texas?

http://www.theonion.com/article/62-year-old-with-gun-only-one-standing-between-nat-30984

quote:

According to numerous reports, local 62-year-old Earl Bailey, who owns a shotgun and several boxes of ammunition, is currently the last bastion of defense between the United States of America and the federal government�s plot of a full-scale takeover.

Bailey, a recent retiree and a proud advocate of gun rights, has been confirmed by multiple sources as being a true patriot, and is, at present, the only person capable of preventing top-secret forces within the government from striking and forcefully coercing hundreds of millions of Americans to submit to a fascist and brutal New World Order.

Since the early 1990s, sources estimated the gun owner has staved off innumerable large-scale government threats, all from the center of his 12-acre ranch.

�It is every American�s right to be good and armed, and that�s a right that should always be protected,� said Bailey, now the sole American protecting the nation from the government�s hidden plot of disarming all citizens, gradually gaining control of the mass media, and installing martial law throughout the nation�s streets. �Our Founding Fathers intended for each and every one of us to protect ourselves from tyranny. That�s what America is all about.�

�What happens when the feds show up at your front door and start telling you how much meat you can eat or how to raise your kids?� continued the lifetime NRA member, brandishing the very weapon that now serves as the final hope of staving off a totalitarian state. �Is that the future you want?�

Bailey, who keeps his gun on his person at all times and regularly patrols his property in his truck, has reportedly struck dread into the very highest-ranking members of the U.S. government. According to sources, top government and military officials are fully aware that they remain unable to commence with their oppressive, systematic subjugation of the American populace as long as the 62-year-old owner of a rifle exists.

Additional reports confirmed that Bailey�s frequent practice of shooting his gun at empty bean cans in his backyard has repeatedly forced government officials to reassess both their ground and air strategies for the impending takeover.

�The way I see it, the Second Amendment�s been keeping this nation free and secure for well over 200 years,� Bailey said, valiantly standing in front of his home that is constantly being monitored by CIA agents and elite Special Forces operatives, who are told to maintain a safe distance from the formidable 62-year-old. �First they�ll come for our guns and next�well, shoot, I don�t really plan on ever seeing what the hell happens next.�

While the federal government is more than adequately prepared to begin the first phase of its plan of convoying Second Amendment adherents to newly established FEMA concentration camps, high-level members of the Obama Administration involved in the widespread conspiracy confirmed that they have been forced to resort to alternate methods due solely to Bailey�s heroics.

�As long as there�s someone like Earl out there with a gun and ammunition, we are unable to carry out our attack on America,� said Maxwell Caufield, a covert military leader in charge of the operation to turn the country into an authoritarian, one-party state wherein the basic rights of citizens are stripped away in order to create total government control. �Try as we did to spread our distorted gun control propaganda�claiming that it would protect innocent people across the country from needless deaths�the man just wouldn�t bite. There is simply nothing we can do about Earl and his gun, drat him.�

�You�ve got to hand it to him, really,� Caufield added. �If it weren�t for Earl, you�d be looking at a totally different country.�

# ? Jul 16, 2015 21:50

karlor: Apr 15, 2014; College Slice

I just managed to escape a WalMart (FEMA camp), narrowly avoiding being processed in a Blue Bell (MOBILE MORGUE) refrigeration truck

Gun status: Taken by 0bummer and forcefully gay married

# ? Jul 16, 2015 22:29

Goatse James Bond: Mar 28, 2010; If you see me posting please remind me that I have Charlie Work in the reports forum to do instead

karlor posted:

I just managed to escape a WalMart (FEMA camp), narrowly avoiding being processed in a Blue Bell (MOBILE MORGUE) refrigeration truck

Gun status: Taken by 0bummer and forcefully gay married

Oh man, some of my friends are guards at one of those. I hope they don't get punished.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 22:39

Spacebump: Dec 24, 2003; Dallas Mavericks: Generations

karlor posted:

I just managed to escape a WalMart (FEMA camp), narrowly avoiding being processed in a Blue Bell (MOBILE MORGUE) refrigeration truck

Gun status: Taken by 0bummer and forcefully gay married

While you were out, Obama became President King for life.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 22:40

Dahn: Sep 4, 2004

Parachute posted:

Can they even physically observe this? Maybe I'm thinking of just the random weirdos who are showing up in Bastrop.

Camp Swift is just north of Bastrop, it's run by the National Guard. Gona be hard to do anything there without them knowing about it.

You can observe parts of the billeting area from the hwy. I guess someone could park out there with a spotting scope and watch Soldiers going back and forth to the chow hall.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 22:43

i say swears online: Mar 4, 2005

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmUPYOueKt4

# ? Jul 17, 2015 01:59

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

I like how the girl in the passenger seat screws up the whole act by not being able to keep a straight face.

# ? Jul 17, 2015 02:02

1stGear: Jan 16, 2010; Here's to the new us.

Dahn posted:

Camp Swift is just north of Bastrop, it's run by the National Guard. Gona be hard to do anything there without them knowing about it.

You can observe parts of the billeting area from the hwy. I guess someone could park out there with a spotting scope and watch Soldiers going back and forth to the chow hall.

There's a convenience store directly across from the Camp Swift entrance. Probably the best place to camp out and monitor so you don't lose access to your supply line of Cheetos and Mountain Dew.

karlor posted:

I just managed to escape a WalMart (FEMA camp), narrowly avoiding being processed in a Blue Bell (MOBILE MORGUE) refrigeration truck

Gun status: Taken by 0bummer and forcefully gay married

You mean the lysteria outbreak was a conspiracy too? First Obama came for our Blue Bell...

# ? Jul 17, 2015 02:08

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

#jadehelm would be a fun thing to flood on twitter ala #romneydeathrally if it isn't already a thing.

# ? Jul 17, 2015 03:21

i say swears online: Mar 4, 2005

1stGear posted:

There's a convenience store directly across from the Camp Swift entrance. Probably the best place to camp out and monitor so you don't lose access to your supply line of Cheetos and Mountain Dew.

Back in the day one time I chugged three bottles of cranberry juice at 4:30 in the morning at that convenience store before drill to beat a drug test. That was a rough period.

# ? Jul 17, 2015 03:42

a.lo: Sep 12, 2009

Captain Bravo posted:

Sometimes, the tea party just makes me think "What in the goddamned gently caress?"

# ? Jul 17, 2015 04:42

Dahn: Sep 4, 2004

Aliquid posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmUPYOueKt4

I think the Ninjas in a shipping container was mentioned a while back as part of the Jade helm plan.

That fact that I mention this in an open channel, ensures that I will be targeted.

# ? Jul 17, 2015 19:34

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 00:01

Badger of Basra: Jul 26, 2007

Do y'all think the cobra was part of Obama's dastardly plan?

# ? Jul 17, 2015 19:35

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > TexPol: abundant mosquitoes so big they can stand flat-footed and fuck a chicken

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