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AnoHito
May 8, 2014

I'd say Command and Aid seem to fit his character quite nicely, aspiring leader that he is.

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WolfShirt
May 8, 2007

Pretty pretty pony pony pretty pony pon pon

Gruckles posted:

Without bothering to look at what these spells actually do, Joey should Hold Persons in his big strong arms while screaming Commands.
Also according the level up chart he should be getting two 2nd level spells at level 3, not just one?

You're right! How'd I miss that, I guess I just assumed they'd give you one. I'll take the two most popular then.

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.

Grimey Drawer
Command and Hold Person. He's really a holy battering ram.

Jolyne Cujoh
Dec 7, 2012

It's not like I've got no worries...
But I'll be fine.
I'm not gonna download the basic rules, but Joey has to get the dumb, stupidly powerful dancing spell ASAP that is my contribution

Geemer
Nov 4, 2010



Command and Hold Person are the most Joey things to get. Comedy option: Joey shouts "SHUT UP!" at the top of his lungs to use Silence.

GatewayOfLastResort
Oct 11, 2007

I'm saving up such a laugh.
I'm gonna vote for Command and Spiritual Weapon cause smiting people with spirit weapons is fun. Also I can't believe you rolled a cleric and didn't name him Healing Sergei, you already made Monster Manuel, after all.

D_W
Nov 12, 2013

Hold Person absolutely. How about Inflict Wounds as well because these two spells are the most cleverly named spells I've ever seen.

Tin Tim
Jun 4, 2012

Live by the pun - Die by the pun

Gruckles posted:

Without bothering to look at what these spells actually do, Joey should Hold Persons in his big strong arms while screaming Commands.
I like this picture

Colosmicon
Jan 5, 2013
Command and Hold Person [and prayer of healing]- they give Joey the most flexibility to be a bastard both in and out of combat. All the other spells look like lovely 2e combat buffs by comparison.

Reading the description of Command, it refers to the target as a "creature". Does "creature" mean specifically a non-humanoid, or is it just an obtuse blanket term for NPC? I can't find any definition for it in the rulebook.

e- whoops, there's two 2nd-level spell slots.

Colosmicon fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Jul 11, 2014

D_W
Nov 12, 2013

Colosmicon posted:

Command and Hold Person- they give Joey the most flexibility to be a bastard both in and out of combat. All the other spells look like lovely 2e combat buffs by comparison.

Reading the description of Command, it refers to the target as a "creature". Does "creature" mean specifically a non-humanoid, or is it just an obtuse blanket term for NPC? I can't find any definition for it in the rulebook.
In DnD "creature" is just the term for any living thing. It could be a monster, animal, NPC, or PC.

CrazySalamander
Nov 5, 2009

D_W posted:

In DnD "creature" is just the term for any living thing. It could be a monster, animal, NPC, or PC.

I cast magic missle at the DM.

Scaly Haylie
Dec 25, 2004

Spiritual Weapon posted:

You create a floating, spectral weapon that lasts for the duration or until you cast this spell again. When you cast the spell, you can make a melee spell attack against a creature within 5 feet of the weapon. On a hit, the target takes force damage equal to 1d8 + your spellcasting ability modifier.

As a bonus action on your turn, you can move the weapon up to 20 feet and repeat the attack against a creature within 5 feet of it.

The weapon can take whatever form you choose. Clerics of deities who are associated with a particular weapon (as St. Cuthbert is known for his mace and Thor for his hammer) make this spell's effect resemble that weapon.

Given that Joey's holy symbol is 'biceps', I suggest Spiritual Weapon in the form of a beefy arm.

Geemer
Nov 4, 2010



Lizard Wizard posted:

Given that Joey's holy symbol is 'biceps', I suggest Spiritual Weapon in the form of a beefy arm.

So Joey would have a Trogdor punching dudes. I can get behind that.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker

Geemer posted:

So Joey would have a Trogdor punching dudes. I can get behind that.

This has to happen.

Mordaedil
Oct 25, 2007

Oh wow, cool. Good job.
So?
Grimey Drawer

Drakkel posted:

Oh my gently caress, you even warned me ahead of time and I still can't believe how bad this is. What on EARTH would make you think it's a good idea to have the spell list be A) shoved all the way in the back and B) Sorted Alphabetically rather than by class, and C) NOT EVEN TELL YOU WHAT CLASS THEY'RE FOR???

Look at page 82. It's fine.

Honorific!
Jul 5, 2007

Well played, Goonsire!
Joey needs to be able to cast Augury and use it at every opportunity. I wanna see how he interprets omens. Especially if he casts it by flipping a coin.

Drakli
Jan 28, 2004
Goblin-Friend

D_W posted:

In DnD "creature" is just the term for any living thing. It could be a monster, animal, NPC, or PC.

Or undead, or animate constructs.

Obligatum VII
May 5, 2014

Haunting you until no 8 arrives.

Honorific! posted:

Joey needs to be able to cast Augury and use it at every opportunity. I wanna see how he interprets omens. Especially if he casts it by flipping a coin.

I agree, the power of prophecy can only end well in Joey's hands. I also throw in a vote for Augury.

MonsterEnvy
Feb 4, 2012

Shocked I tell you

Obligatum VII posted:

I agree, the power of prophecy can only end well in Joey's hands. I also throw in a vote for Augury.

Same it's a cool spell. You will have two 2nd level spells. So you can take this and hold person.

MonsterEnvy fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Jul 12, 2014

Drakli
Jan 28, 2004
Goblin-Friend
I vote for Beefy Arm, I mean Spiritual Weapon. Also, Augury because why not? A slacker priest who mostly wants to get fall-down drunk would never misuse knowledge of the future, would he?

SirSamVimes
Jul 21, 2008

~* Challenge *~


If I get two 2nd level votes because of you having two slots, I vote Augury and Hold Person. If one, just Augury.

For the level 1 spell, Command.

Nihilarian
Oct 2, 2013


I like the idea of Spiritual Weapon. Check out these guns.

Also, Augury, so he'll knoow how bad his hangover will be before he takes his first sip.

Pyzza Rouge
Jun 25, 2011

La Mano de Dios

Nihilarian posted:

I like the idea of Spiritual Weapon. Check out these guns.

Also, Augury, so he'll knoow how bad his hangover will be before he takes his first sip.

same

It says "MC"... in the beer!

*Joey goes Asura's Wrath on Mr. Cola*

WolfShirt
May 8, 2007

Pretty pretty pony pony pretty pony pon pon


Session 1-4 The Golem: Investigation


Investigation teams finishes up their adventuring day with by interviewing a few key characters in the Golem debacle.

Key suspect so far: Billy

Dr. Demon
Jan 2, 2007

Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty.

Gharbad the Weak posted:

[4:32:31 PM] Gharbad!: Will someone draw me a picture of Rockmeats on a clocktower while the guards try to get him down and Palla runs interference? tia


edit: removed chat log



(I got a little... carried away with the perspective and the architecture, hence why this took so long.)

Dr. Demon fucked around with this message at 14:58 on Jul 16, 2014

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
Everyone knows that gold is just a fiat currency in D&D. Treasure is the only reliable standard.

Aurora
Jan 7, 2008

What amuses me about the campaign is that Joey isn't even really the Joey of the group, as Rockmeats and Palla fill the silly nonse quota a lot more.

Louispul5
Oct 10, 2012

Aurora posted:

What amuses me about the campaign is that Joey isn't even really the Joey of the group, as Rockmeats and Palla fill the silly nonse quota a lot more.

He hasn't run head first into as many things, yet. The brain damage will set in later.

Get augury. Then every time you fail a roll, Joey can just see a blue rock that wants him to brainwash everyone, for some reason.

Gharbad the Weak
Feb 23, 2008

This too good for you.

Dr. Demon posted:

[New Desktop Picture]

(I got a little... carried away with the perspective and the architecture, hence why this took so long.)

yes

YES


YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

WolfShirt
May 8, 2007

Pretty pretty pony pony pretty pony pon pon

Dr. Demon posted:



(I got a little... carried away with the perspective and the architecture, hence why this took so long.)

This is a fantastic piece of art. You're a fantastic person.

Lord Hypnostache
Nov 6, 2009

OATHBREAKER
Oh sweet, I am very much enjoying this. I listened to the original D&D LP aeons ago, but never finished it, and the others have had too much backlog when I've found them. So I'm glad to start listening early on.

Dr. Demon
Jan 2, 2007

Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty.

WolfShirt posted:

This is a fantastic piece of art. You're a fantastic person.

Aww, thanks! I'm really enjoying the party's antics, so maybe there'll be more fanart in the near future (not just from me, I hope).

Ralepozozaxe
Sep 6, 2010

A Veritable Smorgasbord!
Every time I hear Larry Cola what I really hear is

Aurora
Jan 7, 2008

Ralepozozaxe posted:

Every time I hear Larry Cola what I really hear is



I think Plaz almost said that at one point.

haplesscardsharp
Sep 6, 2012

Keep On Truckin'
Who the gently caress is ikks, and why does he have a poo poo name? Get that plaz guy back!

WolfShirt
May 8, 2007

Pretty pretty pony pony pretty pony pon pon
Okay guys the votes have been tallied and by a lanslide Hold Person and Command have won, with Spiritual Weapon (manifesting as biceps) just barely winning out for the second slot over Augury.

Which means the thread by an overwhelming margin wants Joey to be able to hold people in his big strong arms, from any distance, while he gives them orders.


I'm not sure what this says about you, thread.

Ixjuvin
Aug 8, 2009

if smug was a motorcycle, it just jumped over a fucking canyon
Nap Ghost

haplesscardsharp posted:

Who the gently caress is ikks, and why does he have a poo poo name? Get that plaz guy back!

People have called me 'Ix' for years (on the internet, not real life) so it has the same effect on me as hearing someone use your name in a movie. It's a little startling.

WolfShirt posted:

Okay guys the votes have been tallied and by a lanslide Hold Person and Command have won, with Spiritual Weapon (manifesting as biceps) just barely winning out for the second slot over Augury.

Which means the thread by an overwhelming margin wants Joey to be able to hold people in his big strong arms, from any distance, while he gives them orders.


I'm not sure what this says about you, thread.

No, this seems about right. I know I wouldn't mind :swoon:

Whycalibur
Oct 17, 2013

WolfShirt posted:

Okay guys the votes have been tallied and by a lanslide Hold Person and Command have won, with Spiritual Weapon (manifesting as biceps) just barely winning out for the second slot over Augury.

Which means the thread by an overwhelming margin wants Joey to be able to hold people in his big strong arms, from any distance, while he gives them orders.


I'm not sure what this says about you, thread.

We just want Young Joey to feel loved. At any cost.

Geemer
Nov 4, 2010



WolfShirt posted:

Okay guys the votes have been tallied and by a lanslide Hold Person and Command have won, with Spiritual Weapon (manifesting as biceps) just barely winning out for the second slot over Augury.

Which means the thread by an overwhelming margin wants Joey to be able to hold people in his big strong arms, from any distance, while he gives them orders.


I'm not sure what this says about you, thread.

We all just really want to be held by Joey's big strong arms.

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haplesscardsharp
Sep 6, 2012

Keep On Truckin'

Geemer posted:

We all just really want to be held by Joey's big strong arms.

While remaining at a safe distance, given his holy massive biceps.

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