An Open Plea to Men on the Street

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > An Open Plea to Men on the Street

Dragonstoned: Jan 15, 2006; MR. DOG WITH BEES IN HIS MOUTH AND WHEN HE BARKS HE SHOOTS BEES AT YOU
by Roger Hargreaves

ethanol posted:

You just wish you could have me but you cant

But you are so, so wrong.

I do not post for you, "woman" on the internet. I don't post to impress you. My self-worth is not made or broken by your comments.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 06:18

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 12:01

Jailbrekr: Apr 8, 2002; A TOWN LEVELED BY AN EXPLOSION? DOZENS LIKELY KILLED? OH GOD LET ME SEE THAT SWEET VIDEO OH MY GOD I'M CUMMING

Dragonstoned posted:

But you are so, so wrong.

I do not post for you, "woman" on the internet. I don't post to impress you. My self-worth is not made or broken by your comments.

*golf clap*

# ? Jul 4, 2014 06:22

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

hm sounds like it's time to enlist the services of the
MAN KILLER

# ? Jul 4, 2014 06:26

Sucrose: Dec 9, 2009

There's a serious difference between just being paid a compliment by a passer-by in a friendly way and being wolf-whistled at or being told "nice rear end" or whatever.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 06:49

Schnugaf: Mar 23, 2011; The Great Derposaurus

Life has taught me one thing; anyone who says they are too sexy to need compliments on their looks, usually has a pretty skewed image of themselves.

Or have an addiction to being the center of attention.

But I'm only a guy with 6/10 looks, and I almost get an errection everytime a decent looking girl tells me I'm attractive.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 06:59

Bishop: Aug 15, 2000

So you're telling me people get complimented on their looks

I'm going to need a moment to deal with this

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:09

Neurosis: Jun 10, 2003; Fallen Rib

when women tell me i am good looking i feel awkward because most of the time i can't give them a reciprocal comment

i'm pretty cute

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:11

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

ethanol posted:

An Open Plea To Men on the Street: I got up yesterday morning. I had a cup of coffee, snuggled with my dog, went to my garden and took care of the plants. It was hot and sticky and I decided it was time for a swim. I put on my two-piece suit, but then, because I already knew that walking around in shorts and a bikini top is an open invitation for some sad dick sitting on his porch to tell me how much he'd like to lick my belly button, I put on a sundress. NOT ONCE in the whole process of getting dressed did I think, "golly, I really hope I impress some strangers with my gorgeous get-up! I hope some man sees my yellow sundress and wants to know what's under it!" While walking my dog down the bike path to the beach, a few guys passed me on bicycles. One slowed down as he passed and shouted: "Hey, young lady, you look really great. I mean, just - WOW! You're gorgeous!" This letter is to you, guy, and all the sad men out there that think like you.

I am sure in that particular moment, in your tiny misguided brain, you thought it would boost my confidence to verbally affirm that I looked decent. I am sure you thought that telling me I looked good was the highlight of my day, and I bet you thought when I took my dress off at the beach it would give me that extra boost of confidence I really needed to just GET IT, GIRL!

But you are so, so wrong.

I do not get dressed for you, men of the world. I don't wear clothes to impress you. My self-worth is not made or broken by your comments, your cat calls, your disgusting and lascivious invitations to sexual acts. I AM sexy. From the curve of my hips to the tip of my nose, I am a confident and beautiful woman. My pinkie toe has more sexual ferocity in it than you could handle. I don't need your affirmation. I don't want it. You cheapen my existence with your words. I don't want your praise, I don't want your ridicule, I don't give a poo poo what you think about any woman unfortunate enough to pass within earshot of you. Keep your words to themselves unless they are about the weather or my sunhat's caught on fire.
Also, don't think I don't notice you staring. Maybe you don't SAY outright how you feel, but I know. I am a woman, I swear we have a sixth sense for when you all are doing the nasty with your eyeballs. I am not a piece of meat or a puppy. You can't take me home with you. Go stare at something that won't mind, like the landscape or your own pathetic parts. I hate you and the stupid privilege you think you have that would allow you to turn me into some object for your pleasure. gently caress off. Preferably to Mars.

Not Yours,
Samantha

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:20

Bishop: Aug 15, 2000

wow unless google has failed me this is not a c/p

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:22

stuntwaffle: Mar 7, 2007; I wish Starbound was a dick so I could put it in my ass and mouth!

i like women that look like poo poo

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:24

Yivgev: May 19, 2004; i brought my +1 ak-47

stfu you whiny bitch

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:25

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

i like women that smell like poo poo

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:25

Yivgev: May 19, 2004; i brought my +1 ak-47

MAYBE IF I WRITE A WHINY SELF RIGHTEOUS OPEN LETTER ON THE INTERNET ILL EFFECT SOME POSITIVE CHANGE IN THIS WORLD said an incredibly stupid retard

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:26

Harime Nui: Apr 15, 2008; The New Insincerity

tumblr made me gay

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:26

Julius CSAR: Oct 3, 2007; by sebmojo

Trixie Hardcore posted:

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:29

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

I'm not saying she's lying but if she's not, she's complaining about living on Polite Street in Niceville, USA. Guys don't yell "Hey, young lady, you look really great. I mean, just - WOW! You're gorgeous!" guys yell "Hey, can I cum on those tits?" or "Girl, let me suck that pussy." I mean, I guess some nerds try to not be super sleezes but the idea that someone who gets one "you're gorgeous" from a stranger on the street isn't also getting a hundred "Dat rear end!"s is a little hard to believe.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:31

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

Pics or it didn't happen.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:32

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

I'm just saying men are disgusting & I don't understand getting upset about the ones that don't set off your rapedar.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:34

Cucking Mama: Sep 27, 2013; Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics

personally I think the account in the op was made up wholesale to parody the widely ridiculed social justice movement and to get a bunch of people who don't get compliments from strangers to be openly bitter and petty

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:41

Julius CSAR: Oct 3, 2007; by sebmojo

Cucking Mama posted:

personally I think the account in the op was made up wholesale to parody the widely ridiculed social justice movement and to get a bunch of people who don't get compliments from strangers to be openly bitter and petty

I dunno, they post in the BF4 thread.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:49

Dragonstoned: Jan 15, 2006; MR. DOG WITH BEES IN HIS MOUTH AND WHEN HE BARKS HE SHOOTS BEES AT YOU
by Roger Hargreaves

Cucking Mama posted:

personally I think the account in the op was made up wholesale to parody the widely ridiculed social justice movement and to get a bunch of people who don't get compliments from strangers to be openly bitter and petty

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:55

Yivgev: May 19, 2004; i brought my +1 ak-47

Cucking Mama posted:

personally I think the account in the op was made up wholesale to parody the widely ridiculed social justice movement and to get a bunch of people who don't get compliments from strangers to be openly bitter and petty

but i dont need a reason to be openly bitter and petty :greencube:

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:57

Teron D Amun: Oct 9, 2010

ethanol posted:

An Open Plea To Men on the Street: I got up yesterday morning. I had a cup of coffee, snuggled with my dog, went to my garden and took care of the plants. It was hot and sticky and I decided it was time for a swim. I put on my two-piece suit, but then, because I already knew that walking around in shorts and a bikini top is an open invitation for some sad dick sitting on his porch to tell me how much he'd like to lick my belly button, I put on a sundress. NOT ONCE in the whole process of getting dressed did I think, "golly, I really hope I impress some strangers with my gorgeous get-up! I hope some man sees my yellow sundress and wants to know what's under it!" While walking my dog down the bike path to the beach, a few guys passed me on bicycles. One slowed down as he passed and shouted: "Hey, young lady, you look really great. I mean, just - WOW! You're gorgeous!" This letter is to you, guy, and all the sad men out there that think like you.

I am sure in that particular moment, in your tiny misguided brain, you thought it would boost my confidence to verbally affirm that I looked decent. I am sure you thought that telling me I looked good was the highlight of my day, and I bet you thought when I took my dress off at the beach it would give me that extra boost of confidence I really needed to just GET IT, GIRL!

But you are so, so wrong.

I do not get dressed for you, men of the world. I don't wear clothes to impress you. My self-worth is not made or broken by your comments, your cat calls, your disgusting and lascivious invitations to sexual acts. I AM sexy. From the curve of my hips to the tip of my nose, I am a confident and beautiful woman. My pinkie toe has more sexual ferocity in it than you could handle. I don't need your affirmation. I don't want it. You cheapen my existence with your words. I don't want your praise, I don't want your ridicule, I don't give a poo poo what you think about any woman unfortunate enough to pass within earshot of you. Keep your words to themselves unless they are about the weather or my sunhat's caught on fire.
Also, don't think I don't notice you staring. Maybe you don't SAY outright how you feel, but I know. I am a woman, I swear we have a sixth sense for when you all are doing the nasty with your eyeballs. I am not a piece of meat or a puppy. You can't take me home with you. Go stare at something that won't mind, like the landscape or your own pathetic parts. I hate you and the stupid privilege you think you have that would allow you to turn me into some object for your pleasure. gently caress off. Preferably to Mars.

Not Yours,
Samantha

ey yo gurl, let me holla at ya
you want sum fuk?

# ? Jul 4, 2014 07:59

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

That part at the end of "The Next Episode" where it goes "Smoke weed everyday.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 08:22

ashgromnies: Jun 19, 2004

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I'm not saying she's lying but if she's not, she's complaining about living on Polite Street in Niceville, USA. Guys don't yell "Hey, young lady, you look really great. I mean, just - WOW! You're gorgeous!" guys yell "Hey, can I cum on those tits?" or "Girl, let me suck that pussy." I mean, I guess some nerds try to not be super sleezes but the idea that someone who gets one "you're gorgeous" from a stranger on the street isn't also getting a hundred "Dat rear end!"s is a little hard to believe.

Do guys really yell that? Does that work?

# ? Jul 4, 2014 08:39

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

i know what i'm going to yell at her when she walks past: "hey i don't think the word 'plea' means what you think it means"

# ? Jul 4, 2014 08:48

Alec Bald Snatch: Sep 12, 2012; by exmarx

ethanol posted:

what does this mean without the semi colon??

it's the way upper class british people pronounce tilde

# ? Jul 4, 2014 08:51

Illavick: Sep 15, 2012; WHENA MINA RENA VATIVE

People looking at me, giving me compliments and offering me sex are the biggest problems in my life. Grrrr! I hate it so much!

# ? Jul 4, 2014 08:52

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

Here is my Open Plea to Men on the Street- "Uho, hot guy! Shall we do it?"

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:05

toggle: Nov 7, 2005

THS posted:

i skimmed over that backwards first and then forwards and after doing this about 3 times over the course of maybe 15 seconds i still have no idea what this is about

cheers

you post a lot

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:09

Saki: Jan 9, 2008; Can't you feel the knife?

Schnugaf posted:

But I'm only a guy with 6/10 looks, and I almost get an errection everytime a decent looking girl tells me I'm attractive.

same

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:12

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I'm just saying men are disgusting

Break out the man-ho temple.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:14

hitchensgoespop: Oct 22, 2008

Im pretty equal ops with my compliments

"hey pretty lady"

"whoa nice abs guy"

therefore am not the intended audience for the OP. The sweaty girl who wrote the OP i would imagine would be pretty cool with how i roll.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:22

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

ethanol posted:

An Open Plea To Men on the Street: I got up yesterday morning. I had a cup of coffee, snuggled with my dog, went to my garden and took care of the plants. It was hot and sticky and I decided it was time for a swim. I put on my two-piece suit, but then, because I already knew that walking around in shorts and a bikini top is an open invitation for some sad dick sitting on his porch to tell me how much he'd like to lick my belly button, I put on a sundress. NOT ONCE in the whole process of getting dressed did I think, "golly, I really hope I impress some strangers with my gorgeous get-up! I hope some man sees my yellow sundress and wants to know what's under it!" While walking my dog down the bike path to the beach, a few guys passed me on bicycles. One slowed down as he passed and shouted: "Hey, young lady, you look really great. I mean, just - WOW! You're gorgeous!" This letter is to you, guy, and all the sad men out there that think like you.

I am sure in that particular moment, in your tiny misguided brain, you thought it would boost my confidence to verbally affirm that I looked decent. I am sure you thought that telling me I looked good was the highlight of my day, and I bet you thought when I took my dress off at the beach it would give me that extra boost of confidence I really needed to just GET IT, GIRL!

But you are so, so wrong.

I do not get dressed for you, men of the world. I don't wear clothes to impress you. My self-worth is not made or broken by your comments, your cat calls, your disgusting and lascivious invitations to sexual acts. I AM sexy. From the curve of my hips to the tip of my nose, I am a confident and beautiful woman. My pinkie toe has more sexual ferocity in it than you could handle. I don't need your affirmation. I don't want it. You cheapen my existence with your words. I don't want your praise, I don't want your ridicule, I don't give a poo poo what you think about any woman unfortunate enough to pass within earshot of you. Keep your words to themselves unless they are about the weather or my sunhat's caught on fire.
Also, don't think I don't notice you staring. Maybe you don't SAY outright how you feel, but I know. I am a woman, I swear we have a sixth sense for when you all are doing the nasty with your eyeballs. I am not a piece of meat or a puppy. You can't take me home with you. Go stare at something that won't mind, like the landscape or your own pathetic parts. I hate you and the stupid privilege you think you have that would allow you to turn me into some object for your pleasure. gently caress off. Preferably to Mars.

Not Yours,
Samantha

is this from reddit or what

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:23

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

this all sounds really really hosed up OP, also don't sign your posts

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:26

Schnugaf: Mar 23, 2011; The Great Derposaurus

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I'm just saying men are disgusting

Women bleed out of their vagina every month and can poop out a disgusting baby followed by lots of fluids and possibly poop.

I'd say a little cream out of a hose isn't all that bad in comparison.

Boobs are cool though.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:27

Corey Plumper: Nov 22, 2008

I had a dog named samantha

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:29

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Schnugaf posted:

Women bleed out of their vagina every month and can poop out a disgusting baby followed by lots of fluids and possibly poop.

I'd say a little cream out of a hose isn't all that bad in comparison.

Boobs are cool though.

they also leak various stuff out all the time, vaginas are way more smelly and disgusting than dicks

agreed about boobs

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:30

jarjarbinksfan621: Mar 4, 2012

Trixie Hardcore posted:

guys yell "Hey, can I cum on those tits?" or "Girl, let me suck that pussy."

i think street harassment could be a new genre of softcore porn that my penis would be into. it doesn't have to be softcore, just my preference as a romantic. i suppose such videos could conclude with a fantasy alley gangrape for the otherwise inclined.

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:38

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 12:01

Torka: Jan 5, 2008

that's the most respectful catcall ever

# ? Jul 4, 2014 09:45

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