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Long story short: A girl I met at an anti-sexual abuse group 3 years ago contacted me this morning and told me I've got a son. This person and I had a 1 night stand, I wore protection and it did not break, and she hasn't brought anything up since that day. I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed and am afraid of bringing this up to my family because they'll go insane. What do I do? Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? Can a paternity test be done if we don't live in the same state?
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Jul 6, 2014 17:32
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 04:19 |
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PNA
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Jul 6, 2014 17:33
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kill you're family
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Jul 6, 2014 17:33
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poop on it
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Jul 6, 2014 17:33
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i don't believe you op
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Jul 6, 2014 17:33
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Every loving day you come up with some trite rear end boring made up story that we're supposed to pretend we believe. Why don't you dig into yourself to find some real drama we can talk about?
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Jul 6, 2014 17:34
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Stop posting is prolly a good first step do that right now
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Jul 6, 2014 17:34
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Whatever you do don't sexually abuse it.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:34
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play along until you bang her and then deny everything and disappear from her life again
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Jul 6, 2014 17:34
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What's the most legal way to destroy a child? Is it technically murder if a rube-Goldberg machine is used?
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Jul 6, 2014 17:34
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MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:Can a paternity test be done if we don't live in the same state? Yes leslie. Also, you should completely freak out when they check for child support back payments hits you. BAD FATHER.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:35
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I am Toni Lippi posted:Whatever you do don't sexually abuse it. This is a good tip. I'll add it to the list.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:35
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I like paternity suits and I can't deny You deadbeat dads always lie Cause when OP says he's sterile or gay And you have a kid on the way You lawyer up
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Jul 6, 2014 17:36
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MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:What's the most legal way to destroy a child? Is it technically murder if a rube-Goldberg machine is used? crush their self-esteem, not be in their life, etc.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:36
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~*
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MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:Long story short: A girl I met at an anti-sexual abuse group 3 years ago contacted me this morning and told me I've got a son. This person and I had a 1 night stand, I wore protection and it did not break, and she hasn't brought anything up since that day. I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed and am afraid of bringing this up to my family because they'll go insane. Okay OP here's what you do. First of all you need to illegaly remove your own genitals and give them long enough to heal before appearing in court; you want it to look like an old wound so that it's convincing when you tell them that you can't possibly be the father since you have no genitals. Next step: murder you're famil
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Jul 6, 2014 17:37
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MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:What's the most legal way to destroy a child? Is it technically murder if a rube-Goldberg machine is used? check the reddit sub forums.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:37
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Drad_Bert posted:I like paternity suits and I can't deny You've seriously gotta get better at this man. I just feel bad seeing these get worse and worse
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Jul 6, 2014 17:37
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nuke it from orbit
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Jul 6, 2014 17:37
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go on one of those shows where they determine if you are the father or not, have a dance planned if it turns out you are not the father
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Jul 6, 2014 17:37
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I have idea, OP, how about you man up and pay for the child? Whether or not the protection broke is completely up to chance, so even if it didn't break, it very well may have, this is something you were willing to risk and now it happened. I don't see what difference it makes if it's yours or not, you risked it and now you have to face the potential consequences of your actions, the very consequences your were cognizant of going in to it.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:37
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do u have a hot car OP?
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Jul 6, 2014 17:38
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i just found out that I am a son my hands are trembling I'm so angry I could just scream
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Jul 6, 2014 17:38
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InFlames235 posted:You've seriously gotta get better at this man. I just feel bad seeing these get worse and worse Seriously lolling at that post history.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:38
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jalopybrown posted:do u have a hot car OP? I ride a motorcycle.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:39
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Gross Dude posted:Seriously lolling at that post history. In a bad way, a very bad way.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:39
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its funny because op is black
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Jul 6, 2014 17:39
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Also funnily a lot of people in chicago lose their kids because of oversized TVs on tiny tables that aren't meant to support them as stands. Like in the past 2 years I have heard of about 20 different toddlers being crushed to death by giant TVs. HTH Les.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:39
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Agree to meet her in a neutral, public location like a cafe. fill a bottle with your lukewarm urine and give it to her when you arrive, saying it's for dna testing. if she still wants you to be her baby dad then you just man up and dad that baby
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Jul 6, 2014 17:40
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I've come up with 4 possible scenarios: Baby is mine and is ugly. Baby isn't mine and is ugly. Baby is mine and isn't ugly. Baby isn't mine and isn't ugly. If I could choose outcome I want most it would be the second one.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:40
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Have an anti-son, so when they both meet they annihilate. Harness the energy to blow up your computer so that you never post again. If you need help feel free to never post again, day or night.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:41
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt2i0ts-uck
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Jul 6, 2014 17:41
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Sever. Alternatively, "go out for a pack of smokes".
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Jul 6, 2014 17:42
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Crewmine posted:Agree to meet her in a neutral, public location like a cafe. fill a bottle with your lukewarm urine and give it to her when you arrive, saying it's for dna testing. We live in different states now. Can I overnight a bottle of piss or will that get flagged?
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Jul 6, 2014 17:42
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MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:We live in different states now. Can I overnight a bottle of piss or will that get flagged? yeah just label it as lemonade
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Jul 6, 2014 17:43
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build a shack out in the woods and kidnap your son and take him there raise him to be a wild mountain man. teach him how to hunt, kill, and fight. of the outside world, tell him only that it is a decadent, weak place, full of cowards whose strength and resolve is nothing compared to his when he is grown, give him his final challenge. if he can kill you, he has surpassed you, and learned all that he can. he is ready. when his blade strikes home, and you feel death coming, tell him that his time has come. that he must go forth and conquer the weak sheep of this nation, and rule the land as not only their king, but their god. when everything's said and done, and those who are left pick through the rubble and determine what happened, it'll go down as the greatest practical joke ever played
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Jul 6, 2014 17:43
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what if hes going to be the next hitler?
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Jul 6, 2014 17:44
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Contact Maury or Judge Judy or one of those shows. They'll get to the bottom of this.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:45
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cock hero flux posted:build a shack out in the woods and kidnap your son and take him there What sort of permits would I need to build a shack in the woods? Also I think the closest forest is like 120 miles north of here so I could probably only check on him every couple weeks.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:46
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firstly, place your dogs in an enclosed yard or pool area
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Jul 6, 2014 17:47
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redshirt posted:Contact Maury or Judge Judy or one of those shows. They'll get to the bottom of this. The story isn't wild enough to get on Maury and judge judy would just yell at me. Judge Alex might be cool though
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Jul 6, 2014 17:47
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