eating in my car so I won't have to talk to my co-workers on my lunch break

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > eating in my car so I won't have to talk to my co-workers on my lunch break

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ilikedirt: Oct 15, 2004; king of posting

i love small talk. all i ever do i talk small to ppl eegardless if the occasion one time i was at my parents funeral (trAgic car accident) and somebody asked me if i was ok. well i looked tgem straight in the eye and said "weather sure is nice isnt it

# ? Jul 12, 2014 02:52

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 14:35

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

Seriouspost: I like to eat my simple lunch in silence while I meditate on loving kindness and I get really loving pissed when people talk to me while I'm trying to do that.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 03:27

Diet Sodium: Apr 29, 2009

porkchop_express posted:

take a bunch of painkillers and pass out and die in your hot car and then your widow can post asking about what to do with your leftover drugs

cuz that would be p rad

What ever happened to that bitch?

# ? Jul 12, 2014 04:05

fargom: Mar 21, 2007

I generally eat at my desk and play team fortress two. Today the company brought in some in-and-out trucks, so that was awesome. Free lunch!

# ? Jul 12, 2014 04:08

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

ilikedirt posted:

i love small talk. all i ever do i talk small to ppl eegardless if the occasion one time i was at my parents funeral (trAgic car accident) and somebody asked me if i was ok. well i looked tgem straight in the eye and said "weather sure is nice isnt it

are you gonna open with that at the next open mic?

# ? Jul 12, 2014 04:10

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

f-tron posted:

What ever happened to that bitch?

some say she went to state prison for insurance fraud. others say federal prison.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 04:12

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

I never used to do this but just started doing so this past month, awesome job brah, I feel you

I know why I am doing it, though; reading a 750-page book on the development and history of wargaming and I gotta finish before Gen-Con :smug:

# ? Jul 12, 2014 04:12

BONE DOG: Jun 7, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

I eat with my crew and we laugh and carry on for a solid half an hour I'm sorry that you're 'that guy' op

# ? Jul 12, 2014 04:14

ShaunO: Jan 29, 2006

Lunch room at work sucks its small, smells loving terrible from everyone microwaving their leftovers or burnt toast and the conversations that go on in there make me want to kill myself.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 04:17

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

real post: my job is so hectic that everyone eats in their cubicles while working. no time to gently caress off and cry for an hour in your car

# ? Jul 12, 2014 07:19

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

SirEvelynTremble posted:

I smear my face with poo poo so my coworkers don't talk to me

i'm an extrovert

Same but with semen. I'm a prevert.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 07:42

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Ivor Biggun posted:

Same but with semen. I'm a prevert.

i do the same but at a professional level of expertise

i'm a provert

# ? Jul 12, 2014 07:53

toggle: Nov 7, 2005

porkchop_express posted:

hang yourself

# ? Jul 12, 2014 08:11

ilikedirt: Oct 15, 2004; king of posting

Frostwerks posted:

are you gonna open with that at the next open mic?

frostworks im real tired of ur sour aytttitude mister

# ? Jul 12, 2014 08:43

ilikedirt: Oct 15, 2004; king of posting

frostwerks im challenge u to a kissing contest. whover can open mouth kiss the best wins. your goin doiwn buddy.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 08:46

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

ilikedirt posted:

frostworks im real tired of ur sour aytttitude mister

i actually think its a p good joke. depends on delivery :shrug:

# ? Jul 12, 2014 08:56

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Trixie Hardcore posted:

That sounds pathetic, OP. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be sitting in a bathroom stall for 15 minutes to ensure I actually get a break.

i also definitely do this for every non-lunch break

mookface posted:

I eat with my crew and we laugh and carry on for a solid half an hour I'm sorry that you're 'that guy' op

look at this gay lil baby working at a target or something with his 30 min lunch

# ? Jul 12, 2014 11:10

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

you homos gonna kiss or wot i gotta be somewhere

# ? Jul 12, 2014 11:11

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Seriouspost: I like to eat my simple lunch in silence while I meditate on loving kindness and I get really loving pissed when people talk to me while I'm trying to do that.

Same, unless it's nasty/cold out I will most definitely be outside going for a walk, then eating my lunch/snack and reading a book in a pretty and shady little alcove that i typically have all to myself alongside a tidal pond adjacent to the mega corporate commune in which my office is located. I have absolutely zero desire to spend any of my lunch time stuck in the office, inevitably having to make/listen to coworker small talk in a break room that smells of 5-10 different various microwaved brown bag leftovers. Even if its free lunch Wednesday, i will still grab my order when it arrives maybe say thank you to the boss then just throw my shades on and make a beeline for the express elevator.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 11:54

The Brown Menace: Dec 24, 2010; Now comes in all colors.

i eat in my car because it's where i live, but the car is also actually a south american finca on a set of those huge tank tracks used on those mobile platforms which carry space shuttles+boosters around

# ? Jul 12, 2014 12:04

BONE DOG: Jun 7, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Wolfsheim posted:

i also definitely do this for every non-lunch break

look at this gay lil baby working at a target or something with his 30 min lunch

I get paid 25 dollars for that 30 minute lunch. You put in a 12 hour day slanging sheets and tell me why you're not pumping out 120 000 barrels a day you little office bitch

# ? Jul 12, 2014 12:07

Crewmine: Apr 26, 2012

The trick is to take your break with your co-workers so everyone finds you agreeable and pleasant and is thus less inclined to complain to your boss that you're taking a 45 minute marathon poo poo break every afternoon

# ? Jul 12, 2014 12:19

Raged: Jul 21, 2003; A revolution of beats

Crewmine posted:

The trick is to take your break with your co-workers so everyone finds you agreeable and pleasant and is thus less inclined to complain to your boss that you're taking a 45 minute marathon poo poo break every afternoon

This is a man who has it all figured out.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 12:50

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Eat your co-workers

# ? Jul 12, 2014 12:52

Decebal: Jan 6, 2010

I don't dislike my coworkers, it's the small talk that kills me.

Yes, I also noticed the weather outside today.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:03

ShaunO: Jan 29, 2006

Decebal posted:

I don't dislike my coworkers, it's the small talk that kills me.

Yes, I also noticed the weather outside today.

But how was your weekend?

Work is busy busy as usual!

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:04

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Decebal posted:

I don't dislike my coworkers, it's the small talk that kills me.

Yes, I also noticed the weather outside today.

When you're speaking to them just imagine you're verbally posting in GBS. Small talk doesn't have to adhere to that boring script of careless "how r u", "lol weather", "weekend?". Just say random SFW crap. Literally talk nonsense with each other.

Works pretty well.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:05

Troll Bridgington: Dec 22, 2011; Keeping up foreign relations.

Quickscope420dad posted:

When you're speaking to them just imagine you're verbally posting in GBS. Small talk doesn't have to adhere to that boring script of careless "how r u", "lol weather", "weekend?". Just say random SFW crap. Literally talk nonsense with each other.

Works pretty well.

"I'm gay"

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:06

Tonetta: Jul 9, 2013; look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*

I just left work and the security guard there was bitching to me on the way out how he needs to lose weight and he's throwing away an empty gallon of chocolate milk and a mountain dew, both full 8 hours ago

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:06

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Troll Bridgington posted:

"I'm gay"

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:07

Tonetta: Jul 9, 2013; look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*

I took a pic of that poo poo today too because its so gross. When I confronted him about it he said its ok because its low fat milk like seriously dude

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:09

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

mookface posted:

I get paid 25 dollars for that 30 minute lunch. You put in a 12 hour day slanging sheets and tell me why you're not pumping out 120 000 barrels a day you little office bitch

are you an oil man mookface

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:26

a_gelatinous_cube: Feb 13, 2005

I flee the lunchroom as soon as fantasy football season starts.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:37

Eugene V. Dubstep: Oct 4, 2013; Can't post for 8 years!

SirEvelynTremble posted:

I smear my face with poo poo so my coworkers don't talk to me

i'm an excrovert

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:45

ZombieParts: Jul 18, 2009; ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.

I just lock my office door.

One of the office girls said they were worried because I must be so lonely always eating lunch alone. She apparently didn't notice the awesome Godzilla toy I have on my desk.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:47

Decebal: Jan 6, 2010

did people take lunch breaks in the Middle Ages ? Did they engage in small talk ?

"Gilbert, thine oxen look well this season"

# ? Jul 12, 2014 13:48

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

Decebal posted:

did people take lunch breaks in the Middle Ages ? Did they engage in small talk ?

"Gilbert, thine oxen look well this season"

# ? Jul 12, 2014 14:26

...of SCIENCE!: Apr 26, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Wolfsheim posted:

*reads video game reviews for an hour*

You say this as if the average breakroom isn't just a bunch of people watching people talk about sports on TV

# ? Jul 12, 2014 14:41

Laughing Man: Feb 11, 2008; I thought what I’d do was pretend I was one of those deaf mutes, or something...

ZombieParts posted:

I just lock my office door.

One of the office girls said they were worried because I must be so lonely always eating lunch alone. She apparently didn't notice the awesome Godzilla toy I have on my desk.

Maybe she wants to play with it.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 15:14

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 14:35

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

Wolfsheim posted:

look at this gay lil baby working at a target or something with his 30 min lunch

He might work at Target but half hour lunches can happen to anyone. You never know when they might strike. My government agency had hour lunches until some infamous conference call a couple of years back where one office in New York City complained they only had a half hour and everyone else got an hour, so magically a few months later these new amazing efficient half-hour lunches were mandated nationwide. Progress! Easier to justify sitting in your car for only 15 minutes after grabbing a sandwich though

# ? Jul 12, 2014 17:44

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > eating in my car so I won't have to talk to my co-workers on my lunch break

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