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Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
I mean, there's bad posts like this one, duh, but there's always a post that's worse. I don't want this to turn into a shitposting competition, but I'd like to know what everyone thinks are some qualities of lovely posts. Talking personal critiques, not just by official rulebook.


Typical Qualities of a lovely Post:
*Unfunny
*Factually inaccurate (context is important, though)
*Teenage-esque edginess
*Defensive posting (though this can be funny)


I guess you could argue that anything's worthwhile when done the right way, but as a general rule I think a funny post is a good post. Prolific poster I am not, but I figure a look into people's personal peeves would be nifty. Though on the other hand, I could be stupid and wrong. The possibilities are endless.

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stuntwaffle
Mar 7, 2007

I wish Starbound was a dick so I could put it in my ass and mouth!
stuntwaffle easily claims the first post

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
Post lots of selfies and make the same face in every single picture.

Emmideer
Oct 20, 2011

Lovely night, no?
Grimey Drawer
in the zen of bad posting, you must feel the terribleness washing over you like an ocean. with every wave comes a new bad idea to post, and just like the unrelenting tide you must post every one. through a lack of filter, through constant crashing of the waves against a mountain, slowly the rock will degrade and we will be left with nothing but a tiny pebble, the perfect bad post, with which to skip across the water, creating new ripples to start the process again.

Corey Plumper
Nov 22, 2008

psyopmonkey posted:

Post lots of selfies and make the same face in every single picture.

Why

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
there is a lack of art to bad posting.

but there is an art to shitposting.

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax

Making GBS'tards angry is fun. Especially when I can do it with just a smile. :)

Corey Plumper
Nov 22, 2008

psyopmonkey posted:

Making GBS'tards angry is fun. Especially when I can do it with just a smile. :)

So thats what you call it

Idiot Kicker
Jun 13, 2007
you don't pre-think your post, you just loving wing it

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k

Idiot Kicker posted:

you don't pre-think your post, you just loving wing it

Does practice make perfect? Isn't there a chance that by winging it for so long, you get used to it and your posting naturally improves?


I mean, if you're intentionally trying to bad post you might worry that winging it doesn't work one day.

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax

Shinjobi posted:

Does practice make perfect? Isn't there a chance that by winging it for so long, you get used to it and your posting naturally improves?


I mean, if you're intentionally trying to bad post you might worry that winging it doesn't work one day.

Hush your mouth, post some stuff, find a niche, and find "your joke".

Idiot Kicker
Jun 13, 2007
There's a chance, but then my posting would have probably improved in the last 7 years and yeah it hasn't

stuntwaffle
Mar 7, 2007

I wish Starbound was a dick so I could put it in my ass and mouth!
just post op, you're overthinking this imo

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax

stuntwaffle posted:

just post op, you're overthinking this imo

Doctor Spaceman
Jul 6, 2010

"Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."
its more of a science really

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->
im gay

Emmideer
Oct 20, 2011

Lovely night, no?
Grimey Drawer
this is the worst possible post, because it starts out being really meta, wasting lots of words on a joke that isn't funny, while continuing to be meta, perhaps even meta meta, and also being hard to read while trying too hard to be a clever representation of a bad, and its constant self-reference to this fact make it impossible to enjoy even ironically, thus ironically becoming the worst possible post, succeeding in its goal, and not even being even a modicum of interesting for this fact, and using unneeded big words like "modicum", and finally for including a phrase as idiotic as "hitler did nothing wrong", as just demonstrated near the end of this terrible, terrible, terrible post with too, many, commas

Robbie Fowler
May 31, 2011
if it feels good, do it.

POWERBALL
Feb 16, 2012

by zen death robot
i made fun of an ugly goonette and made some lovely whitenoise posts today. thinking about moving into the nite crew thred soon. its been a good day on the somethingawful.com forums.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

yes and boy, I am an artist :cool:

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
if there is im the equivalence of hitler

Lt. Dans Legs
Jul 3, 2008

BUTT CONSPIRACY posted:

i made fun of an ugly goonette and made some lovely whitenoise posts today. thinking about moving into the nite crew thred soon. its been a good day on the somethingawful.com forums.

that butt would be welcome.

Meg From Family Guy
Feb 4, 2012
its an art human being.

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax

Meg From Family Guy posted:

its an art human being.

Shut up meg.

See its easy OP.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
poo poo post? There is a art is called not giving a gently caress and not caring if your wrong because if someone proves you wrong that just makes the wrongs things i said funnier to me. Also usr grammar bad.

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
yeah

POWERBALL
Feb 16, 2012

by zen death robot

Lt. Dans Legs posted:

that butt would be welcome.

i think i just found some new postin' pals. :sidvicious:

Squeezy Farm
Jun 16, 2009
tane

NurhacisUrn
Jul 18, 2013

All I can think about is your wife and a horse.
We are working on some SERIOUS SHIT in here.
poo poo posting, you rule
Anal banging, cumguzzle
Don't "1" this real poo poo.

Bastastic
Jun 20, 2010

I lobotomized myself

uG
Apr 23, 2003

by Ralp
make post about cucking
make post with incomplete thread title
make post with artisinal placed typo
make post about goku
make post that is circle jerk callout thread
make post about topic that is already on page 1 3+ times
make spin off post or pun post
make single sentence post asserting some zany opinion
make ironic post
make roll with the punches post
make post about gay

never reveal you make these types of post because you crave attention you don't get irl because you never leave your room because you are always on SA flaming people for not leaving they room

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

uG posted:

make post about cucking
make post with incomplete thread title
make post with artisinal placed typo
make post about goku
make post that is circle jerk callout thread
make post about topic that is already on page 1 3+ times
make spin off post or pun post
make single sentence post asserting some zany opinion
make ironic post
make roll with the punches post
make post about gay

never reveal you make these types of post because you crave attention you don't get irl because you never leave your room because you are always on SA flaming people for not leaving they room

sounds like sa, yeah

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

by XyloJW

psyopmonkey posted:

Making GBS'tards angry is fun. Especially when I can do it with just a smile. :)

why do people who get made fun of here always say this is it like to protect yourself psychologically or what because i think we're all having fun with friends while you (literally?) fall apart

everythingWasBees
Jan 9, 2013




iiiiim gaaaaaaaaaay

mazzi Chart Czar
Sep 24, 2005

uG posted:

make post about cucking
make post with incomplete thread title
make post with artisinal placed typo
make post about goku
make post that is circle jerk callout thread
make post about topic that is already on page 1 3+ times
make spin off post or pun post
make single sentence post asserting some zany opinion
make ironic post
make roll with the punches post
make post about gay

never reveal you make these types of post because you crave attention you don't get irl because you never leave your room because you are always on SA flaming people for not leaving they room


Holeeeee sheeeee goku just cucked me in the work crew thread fred, but i can roll with it cuz i'mmma gay cool :cool:

QCIC
Feb 10, 2011

die Stimme der Energie
i would recommend reading the chinese classic Tao Te Ching for information on how to post, OP

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

QCIC posted:

i would recommend reading the chinese classic Tao Te Ching for information on how to post, OP

I'm sorry but the well renowned "Art of War" by Sun Tzo is way more relevant here.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
I can't read Chinese

QCIC
Feb 10, 2011

die Stimme der Energie
The post that is made is not the true post. The goku that is uttered is not the ineffable goku.

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somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
Shitposting without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without shitposting is the whitenoise before defeat..

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