Life of a Wizard CYOA

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Life of a Wizard CYOA

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Kanthulhu: Apr 8, 2009; NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!

(Dany shits in a field)

Sue

# ? Jul 30, 2014 14:14

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 10:11

Amnistar: Nov 6, 2008; I am a wizard, not a poet.

Her name was Hinkdalink and she was a Gnome.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 15:17

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Kimberley bullying a troll sounds hilarious.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 15:55

Readingaccount: Jan 6, 2013; Law of the jungle

Kimberley

# ? Jul 30, 2014 16:40

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

Kimberly was...

...a human.
...an elf.
...a dwarf.
...a halfling
...a gnome.
...a half-orc.
...a half-elf.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 16:45

Amnistar: Nov 6, 2008; I am a wizard, not a poet.

A gnome

A tiny little gnome.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 17:00

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

Oh, I've decided that I'm going to tell you when you've locked yourself out of an achievement. Already we can't get Royal Blood because Trolls and Humans can't have babies.

Not that they can't try. :heysexy:

# ? Jul 30, 2014 17:14

100 HOGS AGREE: Oct 13, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Humans can't have babies? :confused:

# ? Jul 30, 2014 17:43

T-man: Aug 22, 2010; Talk shit, get bzzzt.

100 HOGS AGREE posted:

Humans can't have babies?

It's why we need storks to get babies.

Anyway, Kimberly was a really mean Halfling. She would always rub her uncle's ring in our face.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 20:15

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

It was embarassing to be bullied by a halfling, but Kimberly was always accompanied by others, so there was little I could do. I remember the first day Kimberly started picking on me.

I kicked her shins and ran away.
I tried to scare them away, which should have been easy since I was a troll.
I tried reasoning with the bully.
I didn't want to be bullied my entire life, so I started exercising.
I tried to join Kimberly; I thought that we'd be able to bully other kids together.

STATS posted:

Krogg the Romk, a troll boy
Age: 7
50% Good/50% Evil
Body: 45%
Personality: 1%
Willpower: 15%
Fame: 0%

Gold: 0

INVENTORY:
Nothing

MAGIC:

Alchemy: 0%
Conjuration: 0%
Divination: 0%
Enchantment: 0%
Healing: 15%
Illusion: 0%
Necromancy: 0%
Summoning: 0%
Transmutation: 0%

KNOWLEDGE:

Arcana: 0%
Agriculture: 0%
Diplomacy: 0%
Economics: 0%
Fighting: 30%
Geography: 0%
History: 0%
Nature: 0%
Religion: 0%
Smithing: 0%
Thievery: 0%
Warcraft: 0%

FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS:
Familiar: George the rat

- my loving parents.

FACTIONS:
Kingdom Citizens: 10
Royal Family: 0
Elves: 0
Dwarves: 0
Orcs: -30
Thieves Guild: 0
Mage Guild: 0
Fighter Guild: 0

ThatPazuzu fucked around with this message at 06:13 on Jul 31, 2014

# ? Jul 31, 2014 04:54

AfroSquirrel: Sep 3, 2011

I'm trying to imagine a troll kicking a hobbit in the shins.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 05:23

Amnistar: Nov 6, 2008; I am a wizard, not a poet.

I'm pretty sure if we tried to kick her in the shins we'd end up hitting her in the forehead.

So yea, let's go with that.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 05:24

Tibbeh: Apr 5, 2010

Punt her like a football

# ? Jul 31, 2014 05:34

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

I'd like to see I pumped iron like there was no tomorrow.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 05:44

Tricky Dick Nixon: Jul 26, 2010; by Nyc_Tattoo

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

I'd like to see I pumped iron like there was no tomorrow.

We're in no better place than now to become a muscle wizard.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 06:01

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

I was eventually caught and beaten up, but I learned from the experience.
(Fighting +7)

I was seven years old when I started noticing the difference between boys and girls.

I was attracted to girls.
I was attracted to boys.
I was attracted to both boys and girls.

Our plan to punt a child didn't work out.

This is starting pretty slow but soon we'll be riding flying carpets and summoming dolphins.

STATS posted:

Krogg the Romk, a troll boy
Age: 7
50% Good/50% Evil
Body: 45%
Personality: 1%
Willpower: 15%
Fame: 0%

Gold: 0

INVENTORY:
Nothing

MAGIC:

Alchemy: 0%
Conjuration: 0%
Divination: 0%
Enchantment: 0%
Healing: 15%
Illusion: 0%
Necromancy: 0%
Summoning: 0%
Transmutation: 0%

KNOWLEDGE:

Arcana: 0%
Agriculture: 0%
Diplomacy: 0%
Economics: 0%
Fighting: 37%
Geography: 0%
History: 0%
Nature: 0%
Religion: 0%
Smithing: 0%
Thievery: 0%
Warcraft: 0%

FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS:
Familiar: George the rat

- my loving parents.

FACTIONS:
Kingdom Citizens: 10
Royal Family: 0
Elves: 0
Dwarves: 0
Orcs: -30
Thieves Guild: 0
Mage Guild: 0
Fighter Guild: 0

ThatPazuzu fucked around with this message at 06:10 on Jul 31, 2014

# ? Jul 31, 2014 06:07

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

ThatPazuzu posted:

Our plan to punt a child didn't work out. This is starting pretty slow but soon we'll be riding flying carpets and summoming dolphins.

This game sucks, I want our troll to summon carpets and ride dolphins.

Anyway, the Krogg appreciates hotness regardless of gender.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 06:54

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Darth TNT posted:

This game sucks, I want our troll to summon carpets and ride dolphins.

Anyway, the Krogg appreciates hotness regardless of gender.

This, bi Krogg all the way.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 08:53

Ghetto Prince: Sep 11, 2010; got to be mellow, y'all

Krogg likes guys

:colbert:

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:13

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

That was the year I met a very special girl.
That was the year I met a very special boy.
It was a very lonely year for me.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 14:27

Drowning Rabbit: Oct 28, 2003; YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

lonely year.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 14:35

Amnistar: Nov 6, 2008; I am a wizard, not a poet.

Krogg fell in love with a young girl.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:00

Added Space: Jul 13, 2012; Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!

Well, we're seven, so stay heteronormative (girl)

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:05

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Poor Krogg found nobody :smith:

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:14

T-man: Aug 22, 2010; Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Everyone knows wizards can't love - like cats, so lonely.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:16

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Pretty sure last time was lonely, so let's add a new (female) character.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:22

Lazaruise: Jan 25, 2009

Met a girl, thought she was grand, feel in love found out first hand

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:47

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

Her name was…

…Sheri.
…Melba.
…Gwen.
…Elizabeth.
…something else.

quote:

She was...

...a human.
...an elf.
...a dwarf.
...a halfling
...a gnome.
...a half-orc.
...a half-elf.

I figured I'd merge these two into one question.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:38

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Love can bloom :unsmith:

Her name is EliSabeth, and she is a Dwarf. Fully bearded!

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:53

Snugglecakes: Dec 29, 2008

Fiona she was a Human

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:36

Drowning Rabbit: Oct 28, 2003; YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Gwen the human.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:38

Odysseus S. Grant: Oct 12, 2011; Cats is the oldest and strongest emotion
of mankind

Periwinkle the Gnome

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:44

Sylphosaurus: Sep 6, 2007

Our hero met Sheri the Dwarf.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:52

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Jill Valentine the human.

They hit it off because they were both so interested in STARS.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:58

T-man: Aug 22, 2010; Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Sylphosaurus posted:

Our hero met Sheri the Dwarf.

Can love bloom... with 6 ft of height difference? Sheri the Dwarf will find out.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 18:36

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

I could hardly believe that I had found love. Sheri was very special to want to spend time with a troll. I knew that people sometimes looked at us strangely behind our backs. It wasn't every day that a troll dated a dwarf. I loved her broad shoulders.
(Dwarf Faction +10)

We did everything together, Sheri and I. It started as friendship, but as the years went by, our feelings matured into love. I experienced new emotions that I couldn't describe. I did everything I could just to be in her presence, like helping her parents at their…

…smithy.
…general store.
…farm.
…inn.
…temple.
…lumberyard.

It says "as the years go by" but we're still 7.

STATS posted:

Krogg the Romk, a troll boy
Age: 7
50% Good/50% Evil
Body: 45%
Personality: 1%
Willpower: 15%
Fame: 0%

Gold: 0

INVENTORY:
Nothing

MAGIC:

Alchemy: 0%
Conjuration: 0%
Divination: 0%
Enchantment: 0%
Healing: 15%
Illusion: 0%
Necromancy: 0%
Summoning: 0%
Transmutation: 0%

KNOWLEDGE:

Arcana: 0%
Agriculture: 0%
Diplomacy: 0%
Economics: 0%
Fighting: 37%
Geography: 0%
History: 0%
Nature: 0%
Religion: 0%
Smithing: 0%
Thievery: 0%
Warcraft: 0%

FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS:
Familiar: George the rat

- my loving parents.

FACTIONS:
Kingdom Citizens: 10
Royal Family: 0
Elves: 0
Dwarves: 10
Orcs: -30
Thieves Guild: 0
Mage Guild: 0
Fighter Guild: 0

# ? Jul 31, 2014 18:42

Kanthulhu: Apr 8, 2009; NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!

(Dany shits in a field)

Everyone knows what dwarves are good at. We halped at their Farm

# ? Jul 31, 2014 18:45

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Dwarves, of course, are where all the alcohol is at. Inn

# ? Jul 31, 2014 18:46

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Her parents were really grateful to have a troll helping them cut down trees.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 18:51

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 10:11

Automatic Slim: Jul 1, 2007

Smithy. Because it's a dwarven stereotype.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 19:19

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Life of a Wizard CYOA

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