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CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



Hello! This thread will be for the discussion and show results for the wrestling promotion Goonfights!
This started as an idea in the Mafia Discussion Thread here.

It quickly snowballed into what you see before you!

So enjoy!

I encourage all the wrestlers to cut promos in this thread.



Current Titleholders:
~Mafia World Championship~ - Hal Incandenza

World Mason Tag Team Championship - Super Evil Friends

~Mafia World Women's Championship~ - yuming

Serial Killer King Cup - Jon Joe

Current Stables!

Capps Kid Detective Agency:
Mr. Capps
JakeP
Ric flair

The Company:
EccoRaven
Tao jones
Lynch Inc

Happy Sunshine Gang:
fronz
Gulagdolls
Spoonsy
Kloaked

Roster:
Main Event
name/disposition/gimmick/finisher(s)
bowmore/Face/Secret Agent/Lurk to victory
fronz/Heel/Cult Leader/Scathing Sarcasm
Hal Incandenza/Face/Power and Paint(Think high energy face paint like sting or the ultimate warrior)/Flying Halkamania drop
JakeP/face/Mentally challenged/Syndrome of a downs
Kumbamontu/Face/African Tribal Warrior/Kumba Kinte
Lumpen/Heel/Narcissist/Lumpen Lift
Merk/Heel/Brutish Jailer/The Night Action
Mills/Heel/thug/I Quit!
Mr. Capps/Face/Detective/Shark Attack Investigation Technique
Opopanax/Heel/Anti-American/Canuckle Sandwich
Tao Jones/Heel/Henchman(eccos henchman)/The Non finish
uranus/face/Mr. rear end/The Poopbutt and the Butt Poop
winvirus/face/cocky face/imdabes
Your Personal Muse/Face/Wrestling Machine/Enlightenment and Existential Crisis

Upper Midcard
Anime gently caress Pillow/Heel/Grumpy Native American Chief/calling people names
Big Nothing/Heel/Alligator man/##vote Cpig
Crazyeyes/Heel/Disco Stud/The Mirrored Ball
Deadbeat Dad/Heel/Woman Beater/Backhanded Bitchslap
Dhaes/Face/Comic Book Hero/Enthusiasm
Dr. Hurt/Face/Matador/The Horns
Ernie./Heel/Comic Book Villain
Evil Sagan/Heel/Genius/The Cosmos
Grandicap/Face/Horny Senior citizen/The Grope
GulagDolls/Heel/Cult Follower/Super Nintendo RPG reference and Dark Baby
Harold Krell/Heel/Annoying/Game Throwing
Ixtlilton/Face/Masked Grappler/Beautiful Perfect Monilith Crusher
John Cena(sa)/Face/Fan Favorite/You have no ability to see myself and The Twelve Knuckle Boogaloo
Juanito/face/unique charismatic/The Lynch Policy
Jon Joe/Heel/Serial Killer/Town godfather
kaschei/Heel/Lounge Lizard/Beloved Princess
Quidnose/Face/Raver/Day one flailing lynch
ShuckyDucky/Heel/Best in the world/Hard Bus
Tremendous Taste/Heel/Comic book villain/##vote No Lynch
Twelvebaud/face/bear/Watch out It's a loving bear!
Windshipper/face/Drunk Hobo/Lots of loving words
Winson Paine/Face/Authority figure/The Ban Hammer
Yuming/Face/No gimmick Needed/~feelings~ and

Midcard
50 Pounds of Bread/Face/Secret Agent/Lurk To victory
Asiina/Face/Sexy Nurse/Bulletproof Ninja Juggernaut
Baron Fuzzlewhack/Heel/Royalty/##King Baron
Bigup DJ/Heel/Angry Young Man/gently caress you
busb!/heel/pervert/That's what she said
CCKeane/Face/Comic Book Hero/The power of rainbows
Chili/Heel/Rich Businessman/Double Vote
Eight Dollars/Face/Bullfighter/Grab the bull
Fiery Valkyrie/Face/Sexy Schoolgirl/The Shining Miller
kernel panic/face/Female Pimp/Pimptastical Panic
Philip J Fry/Heel/Tax Collector/The Surprise Audit
Rascyc/Face/Inventor/1 shot vig
Slamburger/Face/Stoner/You want fries with that?
Triple M/Face/Psychiatrist/Tell me about your mother


Lower Midcard
Anime Monstrosity/Heel/Dominatrix/Anime tentacle surprise sex
apostatecourier/face/sailor/apostate is a girl?
Barehanded Brother/Face/Drunk/Bottle o whoopass
Kloaked00/Heel/Yakuza/Honorable Seppuku
Pander/Face/Bollywood Star/Dance number
Peta/Heel/Anarchist/Peta Peta Pumpkin Eata
Poison Mushroom/face/Southern Belle/Polite Discourse
Rarity/Heel/Sexy Nurse/Lynchproof Doctor Assassin
Spoonsy/Heel Yakuza/Dishonorable Seppulu
Xopods/Heel/Santa Claus/Santa's Slay and Visions of Murder Plums

Opener
Ardulac/Face/Straight Man/Humorless Logic
Chic Trombone/Face/Skin Care Obsessive/Trombone to the eye
Duckhuntdog/heel/Computer Game Character/Mocking Laughter
Meds Cure Betrayers/Heel/Pirate/Plank Walk
Sandwolf/Heel/Luchadore/Lights Out
tearshed/heel/frustrated golfer/In the rough

Jobbers
Auryn/Heel/Leprechaun/The Pot O gold
CapnAndy/Face/Luchadore/The CapnAndy Gambit
vivanova/Face/Sexy Teacher/The Supernova(sorry youre a jobber, but someone has to be)

Managers
KFC/Face/Gentleman/Manages Poison Mushroom
Authorman/Heel/Leprechaun/Manages Auryn

General Manager
Eccoraven/Heel/Corrupt authority figure

Road Agents
McGibby
Soru
Poque

Referees:
Meinberg
100 years of attitude
Eddie Valiant
Cardinal Ximinez

Backstage Worker: Jamuraan


Titles are
~Mafia World Championship~(Main event level)
World Mason Tag Team Championship (Main event level tag)
~Mafia World Women's Championship~(Midcard, female only)
Serial Killer King Cup (Low level)

Tag Teams















Episode List
GF Turbo TV Episode 1
GF Turbo TV Episode 2
GF Turbo TV Episode 3
GF Turbo TV Episode 4
GF Turbo TV Episode 5
GF Turbo TV Episode 6
GF Turbo TV Episode 7
GF Turbo TV Episode 8
GF Turbo TV Episode 9
GF Turbo TV Episode 10
GF Turbo TV Episode 11



Pay Per Views
Scummerslam 1
Drop The Hammer 1

CapitalistPig fucked around with this message at Oct 23, 2014 around 18:44

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CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



Live in front of 16, 907 fans here at The Tampa Bay Times Forum in Tampa Florida ittttttssssss

GoonFights Turbo TV!

Dark Match : Triple M Vs Capnandy - It was a great match but in the end Triple M locked in a well timed "Tell me about your mother" and Capnandy had no choice but to tap.
(Pre Show match 1v1 Rating C+ no comments.)

before the show uranus also came out and farted for the crowd for a few minutes to get them worked up for the show.
(Self Hype - Rating A This segment really lifted the crowds mood)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ


Hello everyone welcome to the inaugural edition of GoonFights Turbo TV!
This is votefinder with my companion at the broadcast booth C-Pig!


Hey You idiot fuckers!


We have some great action for you tonight we'll see Rarity in one on one action with Fiery Valkyrie as well as Poison Mushroom head to head with Kernel Panic in the first set of matches in our ~Women's World Mafia Championship~ tournament!


Hell yeah votefinder , I always love watchin' the ladies wrestle!


I'd scoop scoop scoop that! ahhaha!


Votefinder...


Yes Pig?


Shut up.


Anyway, we will also see Capps Kid Detective Agency Take on El Hermanos Rabidos in the first match of our World Mason Tag Team Championship tournament!


Man I love that Capps Detective Agency , great in ring presence there!


And In our main event we'll have Your Personal Muse taking on Opopanax in the ~World Mafia Championship~ tournament as well as some action in the Serial Killer King Tournament.


I can't wait to see Opop bust out the Canuckle Sandwich!


I've just recieved word we'll also be hearing from GoonFights General Manager Eccoraven!


Ugh, wake me up when its over.


Ok let's go to the ring where Xopods the evil santa is getting ready to face Ardulac!


Xopods and Ardulac awkwardly exchanged blows in the middle of the ring before Xopods stomped on Ardulac's foot and then whipped him into the ropes, Ardulac countered with a stiff kick that bent xopods over. Ardulac capitalized and grabbed xopods to lift him up for a powerbomb but Xopods countered it by turning it into a hurricanrana. Ardulac didn't sell it well but Xopods managed to hide the mistake, Xopods then pulled out a comically oversized old timey bomb from his Sack of Evil Toys and the Ref spotted it and made him drop it on the edge of the ring. This gave Ardulac time to Attack Xopods and hit a piledriver.
But Xopods used the bomb as a distraction so the ref wouldnt notice him hiding a bag of itching powder in his pocket and he blew it in Ardulac's face while the ref was distracted with the count, Xopods hits a Visions of Murder Plums and its all over for Ardulac! Xopods wins and moves on to the next round of the Serial Killer King Tournament!
(1v1 Match - Rating C Xopods and Ardulac didn't click[no storylines for them!])

After the Match Your Personal Muse walks out into the ring and stares into the camera with an intense look before picking up the mic.

"Opopanax, When I face you tonight you will know the meaning of PAIN!!"
"I will take your stupid beaver and shove in places you hadn't even thought of! If Canada is so great why don't they even have proper bacon? IT'S CALLED HAM OPOP IT'S JUST HAM!"
*The crowd goes wild hanging on YPM's every word*
"When we get in the ring tonight I'm gonna make you have an Existensial Crisis Opopanax and then you too will know what its like to LOSE to the Wrestlin' Machine!"
He drops the mic and walks away from the ring with purpose and The crowd pops like crazy!
(1v1 Hype Promo in ring - Rating A )


Bollywood music begins to play and a smiling Pander dances his way to the ring accompanied by Indian women and when the get to the ring Pander sings a jaunty Bollywood Tune about how he's going to kick the poo poo out of Peta.
Then Peta's cacophonous vuvuzela music begins as he runs to the ring.
The bell rings and Peta immediately begins pummeling Pander and berating him.
Pander goes down from the onslaught but manages to slide out of the ring to catch his breath, but not for long, Peta does a suicide dive through the ropse and crashes into Pander giving him no time to rest.
Peta pulls Pander back into the ring and sets up a Peta Peta Punkin' Eata and hits it!
Pander gets his shoulder up at the last second and the crowd starts singing Bollywood songs and Pander begins to hulk up and gets back on his feet casting an intense stare in Petas direction. He Runs over and whips Peta into the ropes and then does a flying lariat and finishes Peta off with The Dance Number!
1-2-3! Pander wins and moves on to the next round of the Serial Killer King Tournament!
(1v1 Match - Rating C+)

Cut to Basckstage where Meds Cure Betrayers is being interviewed by Cpig

CP: So, Meds, You have a match against Asiina next week whats going through your mind right now?

Meds: ARRRRR shut up and gimme the mic Pig! Lemme tell you somethin about that no good landlubbin ASSiina, Yeah that's right pig I said rear end iina. She doesn't have anything on me! I'll make her walk the plank ARR!

(hype 1v1 promo - Rating D , The crowd turned against us and hated this angle)

But then Asiina offended by Meds childish display runs in and beats her down to the floor leaving her bloody and then spits on her before walking away.

Cpig watches with a demented look in his eyes as the camera slowly pans in on his left eye.

(Attack angle, backstage 1v1 - Rating C - The crowd turned against us and hated this angle)

The camera cuts back out to the ring where Asiina's partner Rarity is already in the ring with Fiery Valkyrie

Rarity goes on the offensive and begins trading blows with FV, Rarity gets the better of the situation and stuns FV before delivering a powerful slam and shouting at the crowd. FV takes advantage of Rarity taunting the crowd and pulls Rarity down for a 1 count, both back on their feet FV goes for a few stiff kicks to the gut and whips Rarity into the corner before delivering three stiff chops to the chest Ric Flair style WOOO! FV whips Rarity into the opposite corner and tries to connect with a splash but Nobody Home! Rarity slips out onto the apron and goes up on the top rope and delivers a well executed missile drop kick dropping FV on her back. Rarity goes for a pin 1-2- FV gets a shoulder up and Rarity still in control stands her up and whips her into the ropes connecting with big boot to the face. FV is staggered and down on one knee , Rarity is not letting up and continues the onslaught! Rarity pulls FV to the middle of the ring and hits The Lynchproof Doctor Assassin and gets the pin! Rarity Wins and moves on to the next round of the Women's Mafia Championship Tournament!
(1v1 match - Rating C - Rarity and FV don't click)

The lights go down and 70's funk music begins to play and Kernel Panic in full Lady Pimp regalia comes strolling out with her stable of prostitutes. She gets in the ring and bitchslaps one of them and asks where her money at, then a minimalist Banjo music begins to play and KFC dressed to the nines like Col. Sanders comes out followed by his Young Southern Belle Daughter Poison Mushroom who twirls her umbrella and is ever so polite to everyone on her way down to the ring.

The bell rings and KP is on the offense delivering merciless blows to PM, PM blocks one and counters with a mighty right hand and turns the momentum around delivering blow after blow to KP. PM beats her opponent into the corner and does a bronco buster then stands KP up and whips her across to the opposite corner and follows up with a big splash. KP ducks out of the ring and is protected by her stable while she recovers, PM politely lets her rest and get back in the ring like a proper Southern Belle. Back in the ring the two trade blows until KP comes out on top dropping PM with a vicious kick, KP goes for the cover 1-2- PM kicks out. KP keeps control and delivers a suplex and then hitting the Pimptastical Panic sidewalk slam!
UNBELIEVABLE! PM kicks out! KP , frustrated, tries to pin her again, 1-2- Shoulder up! KP looking clearly upset now stands PM back up to deliver more punishment but PM slips through KP'S legs and Delivers a Polite Discourse! KP is on the floor 1-2-3 PM wins and moves on to the next round of the Women's Mafia Championship Tournament!
KFC gets in the ring and celebrates with her!
(1v1 match - Rating C+ KFC did good work at ringside)

Backstage Drunk and Disorderly are getting drunk and cutting a promo on The Fart Foundation
Windshipper appears to be a hobo with a red nose and stink lines coming off of him, BHB is a more normal kind of drunk.

Windshipper: HAAAY you little bishes! I'ma gently caress ya'll up next week! We in a match and is , umm, what we doin here again bhb?

BHB: I don;t really know, theesh guys just came to the bar and made me come here and said I was a wrestler and you were my Tag Team Partner and we'll pay you like money and stuff.

Shipper:What the gently caress? You getting paid money! They just offered me a bottle of jack daniels!

*goes on a 10 minute rant filled with words as the camera slowly fades away*

(Hype Angle 2v2 backstage promo - Rating C - The crowd thought this angle was stupid and turned against it)

Back in the ring a sharply dressed man walks to the ring flanked by his Henchman, It is the GoonFights General Manager Eccoraven and his Henchman Tao Jones.

"Good Evening you peasants, I am here to brighten up your day and make your miserable lives worth living, I have created a chart displaying the many ways I am better than you."
He points to a chart with a picture of two tag teams on it
"I am in control here so I am adding two Tag teams to the Tournament, Lynch Inc. and The Yakuza will face each other with the winner not only becoming my personal company Tag Team, but also getting a pass to the final and the Final will be a Three way with the two teams that win the tournament plus the winner of my match!"
*The crowd boos and calls Ecco names*
He flips the chart over to the next page, there is a picture of Team Lurk
"These idiots who you look up to are also in the tournament, I will make all of your lives easier by making their match against Happy Sunshine Gang a No disqualification Hardcore match!"
*The crowd pops*
"In closing, I just want you all to rest assured, I am better than you, but that's ok, we can't all be perfect, Tao, carry me away from this filth."

Tao: "Yes Boss"

Tao Jones picks up Eccoraven and walks out of the ring as the crowd boos them.

(Authority angle - Rating B-)

The Star Spangled Banner plays as Winson Paine walks to the ring carrying the American Flag in one hand and His Mighty Ban Hammer in the other, after he gets in the ring The first few notes of John Cena(SA)'s theme song come on and the crowd goes wild!

set to a rap song

"Your pace is extinct, my era is in the present
You are unable to detect my person, my era is in the present
It's the company, young man I'm glowin' now
You are unable to detect my person, my era is in the present!"

John Cena(SA) Runs out to the ring and doesn't wait for the bell!

Winson and Cena trade blows and Cena gets the upper hand Cena powers WP into the corner and continues to beat him down to the mat! Cena puts WP up on the ropes and sets him up for a piledriver from the top rope but he takes too long and Paine is able to capitalize! Winson pushes Cena off the ropes back into the ring and goes for a flying headbutt and connects! Winson stands back up and drops an elbow down on Cenas head! Paine goes for the pin 1-2- Cena kicks out. WP drops another elbow on Cena and then climbs to the top rope, he goes for the leg drop and NOBODY'S HOME! Cena rolls out of the way and both men are laid out on the floor Cena gets back up first and picks winson up and puts him in a full nelson! Winson starts to pass up and the ref lifts his arm up and drops it 3 times before WP starts to hulk out and break out of the hold. WP delivers some furious rights and drives Cena back to the ropes and whips him to the other side delivering a running lariat and dropping Cena, WP gets him back up and Hits the Ban Hammer sending Cena to catjail! Winson Paine is the winner!
(1v1 match - Rating A)

40's detective pulp novel style music plays and Mr. Capps appears with his mentally challenged nephew JakeP riding a giant animatronic shark to the ring They get off of the shark and search for clues around the ring, and deduce that they are in a match so they get in the ring.

Spanish flamenco music plays and Eight Dollars and Dr. Hurt come down the entrance ramp into the ring as the crowd cheers and throws roses at them, they look very fancy dressed in their Matador clothes.

The bell rings and 8Bux is in the ring with JakeP JakeP looks confused and begins to pick a wedgie out of his butt. 8Bux capitalizes on this and hits a flying drop kick before quickly running to the ropes and bouncing off of them into another flying drop kick dropping Jake P to the mat! He wastes no time in leaping to the top rope and landing a moonsault. He goes for the pin but JakeP kicks out and begins to cry and become angry, His face turns red and he shouts "NO! STRANGER DANGER!" and jumps up raining blows on poor 8Bux and picking him up to drop him back down in a fallaway slam, he then tags in Capps who leaps from the top rope and hits a well executed frogsplash and goes for the pin 1-2- kick out! Dr. Hurt is going wild in the corner extending his hand in anticipation of the tag Capps looks at him and shakes his head "nope" Capps drags 8bux into his corner and tags JakeP who comes in and lands some kicks on 8bux in the corner while he's down. He picks 8bux up and Power Bombs him savagely. He tags Capps again and Capps does a flying headbutt from the top rope and goes for the pin 1-2- Shoulder up! How does he get the fortitude?!
Capps picks up 8bux and gets ready to do a russian leg sweep but 8 bux makes a desperate leap into his corner and tags in Dr. Hurt who lands a missle drop kick on capps dropping him, Jake P runs ino the ring and Hurt lands a Hurricanrana on him! Hurt is ON FIRE! He focuses on capps and puts him in a figure four leg lock , it looks like capps is about to tap out when JakeP makes the save and hit Hurt with a vicious right. The Ref ushers Jakep back to the corner and the match continues as capps hits a russian leg sweep on Hurt.
Capps tags in JakeP who puts Hurt in a sleeper hold, Hurt is fading fast the ref is lifting his arm to see if he's still conscious, 8bux gets on the top rope ready to make the save but Capps intercepts him and the brawl ringside while Hurt is helpless in the ring, the ref calls the match as Hurt is unconscious!
Capps and JakeP win and move on to the next bracket in the Tag Team tournament!
(2v2 match - Rating - A)


A series of beeps and boops and mechanical noises sound out and the crowd goes wild, they know whats coming next, A heavy metal guitar riff starts and YPM the Wrestlin' Machine comes out and walks purposefully toward the ring.

O Canada starts to play and Opopanax comes out waving the Canadian flag with a beaver on his shoulder and the crowd boos. A small child with cancer reaches out to give him a Hi Five but Opop sneers at him and tells him to keep his filthy american hands off of him before he sics his Beaver on him.
The child cries.

The bell rings and YPM is right into it attacking Opop before he can even put down his flag, YPM Grapples with Opop before getting him in a side headlock and punching him in the face! Opop breaks out and grabs YPM's leg wrapping him up in an ankle lock, YPM reverses it and twists it into a texas cloverleaf Opop is in the middle of the ring and is crawling towards the ropes! he gets there and grabs the rope and the Ref breaks the hold. Opop gets up and rushes toward YPM but YPM quickly sidesteps and nails a standing drop kick staggering Opop and follows up with a Piledriver. He goes for the pin 1-2 kicked out.
YPM lands a leg drop and goes for the pin 1-2 kicked out! YPM gets up on the top rope and tries a double foot stomp but Opop isn't there Opop capitalizes and gets a sidewalk slam. Opop picks up YPM and powerbombs him. He drops a knee on him and then picks him up to land a Suplex. Opop goes for the cover 1-2-Shoulder up! Opop points to the crowd and shouts "Look, A Monkey!" The Ref stares out into the audience trying to see the monkey, while the ref is distracted Opop sics his beaver on YPM and hits him with the canadian flagpole(which is NOT a euphamism for his penis you sicko). Opop goes for the pin and the crowd boos the ref seeing Opop pinning counts 1-2-2 1/2-2 3/4 SHOULDER UP! How does he do it folks?!
Opop looks stunned and YPM gets to his feet and starts hammering Opop with nasty rights and lefts. YPM grabs Opop and Hits the Existential Crisis! Goes for the pin 1-2-3!!!!!
Ypm wins and moves onto the next bracket of the ~world mafia championship~ tournament!
(1v1 match - rating A* - Opop and YPM have great chemistry and it showed in their match)

Opop angry after the match sneak attacks YPM and beats him down to the mat and stands atop him waving the american flag as the screen fades.
(Post match attack angle 1v1 - Rating B+)

The Shows overall rating was A , it should have increased our popularity. FX was happy with our ratings.

CapitalistPig fucked around with this message at Jul 30, 2014 around 18:27

Mills
Jun 13, 2003

screams from the haters,
got a nice ring to it
I guess every superhero
need his theme music


Reserved

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Despairity


CapitalistPig posted:

Rarity goes on the offensive and begins trading blows with FV, Rarity gets the better of the situation and stuns FV before delivering a powerful slam and shouting at the crowd. FV takes advantage of Rarity taunting the crowd and pulls Rarity down for a 1 count, both back on their feet FV goes for a few stiff kicks to the gut and whips Rarity into the corner before delivering three stiff chops to the chest Ric Flair style WOOO! FV whips Rarity into the opposite corner and tries to connect with a splash but Nobody Home! Rarity slips out onto the apron and goes up on the top rope and delivers a well executed missile drop kick dropping FV on her back. Rarity goes for a pin 1-2- FV gets a shoulder up and Rarity still in control stands her up and whips her into the ropes connecting with big boot to the face. FV is staggered and down on one knee , Rarity is not letting up and continues the onslaught! Rarity pulls FV to the middle of the ring and hits The Lynchproof Doctor Assassin and gets the pin! Rarity Wins and moves on to the next round of the Women's Mafia Championship Tournament!
(1v1 match - Rating C - Rarity and FV don't click)

This is what we call winning. You should try it sometime, FV.



Signed,
Your Future Women's Champion, XOXO

Mills
Jun 13, 2003

screams from the haters,
got a nice ring to it
I guess every superhero
need his theme music


Opop offered nothing, as expected.

fiery_valkyrie
Mar 26, 2003



what is this bullshit?? I'm going to go start my own league.

Eight Dollars
Nov 14, 2012

Pretty pictures in small frames

CapitalistPig posted:


Man I love that Capps Detective Agency , great in ring presence there!

hm

Hmmmmmm.

HMMMMMMMMM

Our honor has been tarnished by this loss. The Hermanos Rabidos will have our REVENGE. Away my brother to plan!

Opopanax
Aug 8, 2007

MISCHARF and Maple Syrup


Bullshit!

Crazyeyes
Nov 5, 2009

If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.


The amount of effort that has gone into this is horrifying.

Keep up the good work

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Despairity


fiery_valkyrie posted:

what is this bullshit?? I'm going to go start my own league.

Will it be called the Loser League of Losers?

Because you're a loser, see.

Opopanax
Aug 8, 2007

MISCHARF and Maple Syrup


I just now noticed the thread title and I'm happy again

Byers2142
May 5, 2011

Imagine I said something deep here...


Opopanax posted:

I just now noticed the thread title and I'm happy again

Finding ways to be satisfied with being second best seems like a very Canadian attitude to have...

CCKeane
Jan 28, 2008



I for one, detest all this violence, and I think we should all work to resolve our problems peacefully and as friends. Friends like Dhaes and me. But sadly, that isnt the world we live in, so we are forced, FORCED I say, to tear the limbs off of our opponents, to rend their flesh, to kneel on their chests with our hands on their throats, watching their eyes bulge as we squeeze the last breath of life from their very lungs.

And then we are going to poop on their car.

KhyrosFinalCut
Dec 16, 2004

Get it?




That's my girl, Poison! Show them how we do in the sparkling clean south!

Ernie.
Aug 31, 2012



CCKeane posted:

I for one, detest all this violence, and I think we should all work to resolve our problems peacefully and as friends. Friends like Dhaes and me. But sadly, that isnt the world we live in, so we are forced, FORCED I say, to tear the limbs off of our opponents, to rend their flesh, to kneel on their chests with our hands on their throats, watching their eyes bulge as we squeeze the last breath of life from their very lungs.

And then we are going to poop on their car.

Welcome to the dark side of friendship, Keane.

Taste and I will rip your wind pipe out during our match so you stop trash talking and remain the good kid that you are.

You're welcome,

Your ticket to heaven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-eJSHoH9Fs

JakeP
Apr 27, 2003

i'm so sorry but i have to go now. my time here is finally ogre.


JAKE SMASH

CCKeane
Jan 28, 2008



I'm not trash talking dearest Ernest. All I can say is that I am left with no choice but to grab your hand in mine, use it as a melee weapon against you, and inquire as to why you are jitti yourself.

It hurts me more than it hurts you, Ernest. I wish we could settle our differences over a nice cup of tea, but alas, your evil ways leave me with no choice but to punch through your chest cavity, grab your beating heart, and consume it raw, blood trickling down my face. Blood and tears, Ernest. I shall cry while doing this dear friend. Please rethink your evil ways.

MildManeredManikin
Aug 10, 2011

I just think we owe him a few words, that's all.

I can't say I fully understand why I got the gimmick I did but the crowd clearly loves me you should put me against 8 and hurt.

CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



MildManeredManikin posted:

I can't say I fully understand why I got the gimmick I did but the crowd clearly loves me you should put me against 8 and hurt.

A lot of gimmicks had nothing to do with your posting it was just me looking at a long list of gimmicks in the game and saying hahaha that's such a ridiculous gimmick and making someone have it arbitrarily.

uranus
Jan 21, 2010

this is
the part where
isayidontwantyou


this is pretty great, lol

CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



uranus posted:

this is pretty great, lol

Thanks, it took me like 4 hours to write that first episode. I was proud of it and I'm excited that this idea picked up so much steam.

Your Personal Muse
Oct 5, 2010

12 Large Brother

Such a shame Opop. Your cheating ways will never overcome the pure intensity of the wrestling machine

Dr. Hurt
Oct 23, 2010

Maybe it's an early Christmas present?


Eight Dollars posted:

hm

Hmmmmmm.

HMMMMMMMMM

Our honor has been tarnished by this loss. The Hermanos Rabidos will have our REVENGE. Away my brother to plan!

Si, you have not seen the last of HERMANOS RABIDOS!!! You may have won this time, Defective Agency, but that is because you have no honor in the ring. You play sloppy with no true spirit. If Jake did not insist on cheating then there would have been no way for you to win. Off to our rose palace, brother. We shall feast on the heart of bulls slain to grow stronger to face them another day.

Dr. Hurt
Oct 23, 2010

Maybe it's an early Christmas present?


CapitalistPig posted:

Thanks, it took me like 4 hours to write that first episode. I was proud of it and I'm excited that this idea picked up so much steam.

You can tell you put in a lot of effort. Please keep this up.

CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



Dr. Hurt posted:

You can tell you put in a lot of effort. Please keep this up.

indeed! I have a lot of good ideas coming up and plan on introducing a new wrestler every episode.

Look for Byers to make his debut next episode!

mr.capps
Feb 16, 2013

The Magician Doesn't Come Back

Dr. Hurt posted:

Si, you have not seen the last of HERMANOS RABIDOS!!! You may have won this time, Defective Agency, but that is because you have no honor in the ring. You play sloppy with no true spirit. If Jake did not insist on cheating then there would have been no way for you to win. Off to our rose palace, brother. We shall feast on the heart of bulls slain to grow stronger to face them another day.

Shark > Bull

mr.capps
Feb 16, 2013

The Magician Doesn't Come Back

Pig I suck at this game how do I book good matches and angles.

Rascyc
Jan 23, 2008

Dissatisfied Puppy

confirmed

##vote capps

CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



mr.capps posted:

Pig I suck at this game how do I book good matches and angles.

Pay close attention to who has the highest momentum, those are the people you want to push.

Make sure you pay attention to the stats of the wrestlers and dont put wrestlers with low Mic skills in angles involving entertainment etc.

Byers2142
May 5, 2011

Imagine I said something deep here...


CapitalistPig posted:

indeed! I have a lot of good ideas coming up and plan on introducing a new wrestler every episode.

Look for Byers to make his debut next episode!

True story, I was a wrestler in high school and went to a Pitt wrestling camp while Kurt Angle was around. Since I was smaller, I regularly got paired with the only girl at the camp, who would often kick my rear end. Then Kurt Angle would step in, tell me what I was doing wrong, and have me go again until I could beat her.

Kurt Angle taught me how to kick a girl's rear end in wrestling. I'll bring that same fight, that same willpower, that same wrestling pedigree, to the ring next week. For the fans.

CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



also, when you are booking matches make sure you put wrestlers with similar styles in matches together.

CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



Byers2142 posted:

True story, I was a wrestler in high school and went to a Pitt wrestling camp while Kurt Angle was around. Since I was smaller, I regularly got paired with the only girl at the camp, who would often kick my rear end. Then Kurt Angle would step in, tell me what I was doing wrong, and have me go again until I could beat her.

Kurt Angle taught me how to kick a girl's rear end in wrestling. I'll bring that same fight, that same willpower, that same wrestling pedigree, to the ring next week. For the fans.

This is perfect with your gimmick, thank you so much for giving me extra material to work with.

Kumbamontu
Nov 8, 2003

Hello. My name is Elliot Moore. I'm just going to talk in a very positive manner, giving off good vibes. We're just here to use the bathroom, and we're just going to leave. I hope that's okay.


USA had that reality wrestling show thing a few years back and apparently my wife knew the guy that won

welp that's my only connection to wrestling

mr.capps
Feb 16, 2013

The Magician Doesn't Come Back

Byers2142 posted:

True story, I was a wrestler in high school and went to a Pitt wrestling camp while Kurt Angle was around. Since I was smaller, I regularly got paired with the only girl at the camp, who would often kick my rear end. Then Kurt Angle would step in, tell me what I was doing wrong, and have me go again until I could beat her.

Kurt Angle taught me how to kick a girl's rear end in wrestling. I'll bring that same fight, that same willpower, that same wrestling pedigree, to the ring next week. For the fans.

Hi can I buy the rights to your coming of age movie?

Byers2142
May 5, 2011

Imagine I said something deep here...


CapitalistPig posted:

This is perfect with your gimmick, thank you so much for giving me extra material to work with.

I'm the weak pretty boy, aren't I?

mr.capps posted:

Hi can I buy the rights to your coming of age movie?

Sure! After you've paid the advance, I'll tell you some of the better wrestling stories. Like when I was forced to walk off a broken ankle for two loving days because "there're no bones sticking out."

CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



The hilarious thing is that I created all you guys in my real world database and imported them into the game database Im running this from, so it created all of you with no ties to any promotion so now when I'm playing my real world game I randomly see you all get hired on with different companies and in their match results.

Crazyeyes
Nov 5, 2009

If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.


I'm still trying to figure out how you learned I like disco.

CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005



Crazyeyes posted:

I'm still trying to figure out how you learned I like disco.

I thought it would be funny if you and kaschei were two anachronistic guys out on the town so I made one a disco guy and one a lounge lizard.

I had no idea you liked disco it was just fate I guess.

CCKeane
Jan 28, 2008



I will confirm that I am a comic book super hero in real life.

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Grandicap
Feb 8, 2006



Why am I a horny old man? And what are my stats?

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