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what is the worst job youve ever had
working in a call center
fart referrals
egg timer
hmm...not sure op
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baw
Nov 5, 2008
RESIDENT: LAISSEZ FAIR-SNEZHNEVSKY INSTITUTE FOR FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY

i currently work in afghanistan and last year we were at a place that was getting closed down, and eventually we were making GBS threads in the little poo poo bags and taking bottled water showers while sleeping in a tent with a bunch of fuelers who would crawl into bed with their goddamn boots on. there was always a line to use internet and there were mosquitos biting the poo poo out of me the whole time and since i finished the books i brought and mail was no longer a thing i would go to the internet cafe and load up webpages to read back in bed. this only lasted about ten days but i would read the call center rant thread in BFC and think "well at least i'm not working in a call center anymore"

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chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.


a girl gave me a blowjob once and she had braces so it hurt real bad

Moola
Aug 16, 2006

+++THREADNAUGHT+++


cum guzzler

Moola
Aug 16, 2006

+++THREADNAUGHT+++


wait oh WORST job, call centre

Illegal Carrot
Jan 10, 2007



Here comes
the Squirtle Squad!


Ever work as a telemarketer in Tempe, Arizona? Yikes!

concerned mom
Apr 22, 2003


Imagine working in a fall centre. You'd enter your cube and just fall continuously for 7.5 hours in a vaccuum and then clock out. Man that job would really blow!

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

UNDEAD RACIAL CLEANSING

working in Afghanistan in a call center

HalPhilipWalker
Feb 13, 2008
Does Christmas smell like oranges to you?

working in a call center inside another call center and all my calls were with other call centers

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

Revengeful corpse out to kill Smell the stench, your guts will spill
Vomit for a mind, maggots for a cock With his axe the corpse will chop


Afghanistan more like afGAYnistan lol

RobattoJesus
Aug 13, 2002



I post on somethingawful dot com.

I mean I'm pretty sure I'm at work to do something else but I forget what it is now.

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



i lasted as an apprentice chef for maybe two or three months and now ive forgotten everything

HalPhilipWalker
Feb 13, 2008
Does Christmas smell like oranges to you?

op where is the "goku" option?

Zombie Boat
Feb 2, 2004
Im gonna put cupcakes on your mind

Chief of Police for Ferguson County

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!
Oct 27, 2007



Professional author

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!
Oct 27, 2007



E3 Booth Masturbator

Uncle at Nintendo
Dec 31, 2000



Cleaned the porta potties for outdoor rock concert venues when I was like 18. I can still randomly taste the smell everyone once in a while.

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009


I used to work as a sort of handyman at a tenement this slumlord I knew owned and one of my many responsibilities was cleaning out the apartments of dead or evicted crackheads (tenants). Please enjoy the following list of bizarre and disgusting poo poo crackheads do.

-- A pile of jizzum tissues and syringes that stood a foot high and was behind a dresser

-- Crackheads for some reason (I saw this no less then twice) like to create porno chimeras where they cut out of porno magazines different parts of women and then tape/glue them together into what I assume is their perfect spank-doll.

-- I opened the fridge in one of these apartments once and there was a dead rat, a box of baking soda, and nothing else.

-- Poop in the sink

Sephiroth_IRA
Mar 31, 2010



RGIS

I make exponentially more money and work significantly less (physically and mentally) now. Seriously I feel bad for anyone that works with them full time.

Fried Watermelon
Dec 29, 2008



walmart cashier. The only thing worse than the abusive customers were the coworkers who gave up on life and decided to poo poo all over the place

Shinku ABOOKEN
Oct 23, 2009

STOP IT

STOP ALL THIS
NONSENSE


Jim Barris posted:

porno chimeras

mods please

runupon cracker
Jan 13, 2006

This will hurt me more than it hurts you.

I once worked in a special care home for the mentally ill/disabled. I had to clean the place, help prep meals, hand out meds (highly illegal in my country btw, me not being a registered nurse or nursing assistant), and be a counselor to the residents. Some of them were barely-functional Down's patients, some of them were suicidal, and some were prone to fits of violence. I worked for minimum wage, worked 12h shifts, and quite often was scheduled for a shift that started 8h after the last one ended. After I'd had enough and left, the owner stiffed me out of nearly a month's wages.

Still better than working in a call center.

buttcrackmenace
Nov 14, 2007


Uncle at Nintendo posted:

I can still randomly taste the smell everyone once in a while.

all odors are particulate in nature. Brush more.

as for me : working in the call center for Feature Films For Families, cold-calling Mormon grannies to sell them subscriptions for "family friendly" DVDs

I lasted two days

Crow Jane
Oct 18, 2012




After college I had one of those "Jobs for the Environment" things, basically they dropped us off in a rich neighborhood and had us go door to door trying to get money from people. I lasted two days.

Cesar Cedeno
May 9, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 4047 days!


Fried Watermelon posted:

walmart cashier. The only thing worse than the abusive customers were the coworkers who gave up on life and decided to poo poo all over the place

I'm pretty sure this is the worst job.

I have to steady myself and take a deep breath before pushing my cart into a line and meeting their cold, dead gaze.

They work for a company that hangs up flyers saying "lol have you tried welfare!? cuz we'll never pay you more and you might be starving."

ReptileChillock
Jan 7, 2014

by Lowtax


Value Village! It's a second hand store that's actually a terrible profiteering corporation and all the employees are retarded. Of the two guys I didn't mind working with, one of them would smoke himself retarded and only offer one-word conversations for his shift and the other had absolutely crippling body odor. I worked sales and warehouse during the weekends, which corporate policy deemed to be the 'slow' times. So instead of the usual 10 warehouse workers, it'd be me and someone else.

A typical shift would have me unloading/loading someone's car in the warehouse, then getting called onto the sales floor by the fat idiot manager who would then inform me that there were bags of donations over at the front. Like, they would waddle over to the front of the store, see the donations and then leave them there. I got written up a whole bunch for not complying with impossible orders, like: "sort and price this entire warehouse in the next half hour" or, my favourite (and the cause of like, 5 write ups) "We don't want any couches left in the warehouse, but we have a strict rule of 3 out on the floor at any one time, you understand this, right?" Meanwhile there are no less than 8 couches in the warehouse


fake edit: it's the only job I just walked off of

Chrpno
Apr 17, 2006


getting lobsters out of Jayne Mansfield's arsehole

Phil Niekro
Jun 4, 2005



Chrpno posted:

getting lobsters out of Jayne Mansfield's arsehole

this was my best job

SHAOLIN FUCKFIEND
Jan 21, 2008



stopping people on a main street to ask if they wanted to sample beer, except we had to ask a bunch of weird screening questions first to make sure they wouldnt be offended by the "do you wanna do a blind test on some upcoming summer beer brands" question which meant we weirded out 90% of potential people, also there was no pay cept commission

Your Dead Gay Son
Jan 1, 2006

I'm Gay


Sears. Electronics department. Constant drone of tvs that echo throughout the loving place, manager who never trained me, and all my coworkers hated me instantly because they were already getting poo poo hours and I didn't help. Under minimum wage cause of commission which was impossible because who the gently caress shops at sears??

Only guy who had full time was a divorced guy in his a 40s with a DUI on his record. Dude told me tangled looked good in 3d.

Oh and HR lady was a huge stinkyhole for no reason

Your Dead Gay Son
Jan 1, 2006

I'm Gay


Yes I'd like to add installation to my tv that weights 30 pounds.... NOT lolllll

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009


Ride operator at a major amusement park. 14 hour days, dingy living conditions, bad cafeteria food, and working to serve people who go to amusement parks.

Lots of sexy international coworkers though. I cherish all my memories of off the clock activities.

Arian_Samurai
Jan 21, 2004

third place is still pretty damn good

SHAOLIN FUCKFIEND posted:

stopping people on a main street to ask if they wanted to sample beer, except we had to ask a bunch of weird screening questions first to make sure they wouldnt be offended by the "do you wanna do a blind test on some upcoming summer beer brands" question which meant we weirded out 90% of potential people, also there was no pay cept commission

That's weird there are people who would get offended if you offered them free beer.

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004



8-year-old me would have thought it would be totally awesome to work two jobs at once where you could eat all the ice cream you want, but it actually sucked really bad

SHAOLIN FUCKFIEND posted:

stopping people on a main street to ask if they wanted to sample beer, except we had to ask a bunch of weird screening questions first to make sure they wouldnt be offended by the "do you wanna do a blind test on some upcoming summer beer brands" question which meant we weirded out 90% of potential people, also there was no pay cept commission

wtf, what were the questions

Ghaz fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2014 around 14:59

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

you appear to have fallen off your log to some extent

Jim Barris posted:


-- I opened the fridge in one of these apartments once and there was a dead rat, a box of baking soda, and nothing else.


It was actually rather decent of them to leave something to absorb the odor of the rat.

20 years ago I worked at a cat litter factory for two weeks an eternity.
The environment was like walking through the desert in a sandstorm and I will never get that poo poo out of my nose/brain.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



What's so bad about a call center.

Lotish
Dec 10, 2008

I pick up my Devil Axe...
...and DEVIL!


Delivering newspapers from one end of a Texas county to another in the summer. Nearly died of heat stroke multiple times because the dust from all the dirt roads choked out my ac unit, had to piss in a bottle if I wanted to save time and be done before dark, had to spend upwards of 30 dollars a day on gas alone, and at the end of the month, the paycheck was something like 600 dollars and I still had to pay them 200 for the newspapers out of that. I worked out the math once and it was something like a dollar an hour before expenses, and my wife substituted for me one day while I was sick and nearly died from heatstroke herself--my mother and I were worried that she was late and following the route backwards found her sitting in the car on the side of the road passed out from the heat. Every day I told myself, "this job sucks, but I'm getting paid." Lol. Just before the month was out I got run off a gravel road by a speeding yokel and crashed my car, which cost upwards of 1400 dollars to fix, so at the end of month one I was well over 2000dollars in debt. I have never quit a job with such prejudice.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.


movie theater usher

minimum wage, lovely hours changed arbitrarily, lovely people dumping cheez whiz on the theater floor

Bacon Hat
Mar 2, 2007
Ha ha, charade you are.

Staples is a loving shitshow that will complete the process of becoming irrelevant and killing itself by 2020.

what i thought i was doing was being a bench technician fixing computers. what that actually entails is tricking people to leave there computers there for $200 so you can run some pedestrian noob loving antivirus that doesnt work. then you tell them its broke and refo it while your fat manchild boss yells at you. then when its slow you lie to people to scare up more computer sales.

staples the company only makes money on underpaying you $10 an hour for $100 an hour benchwork, on that scare-lie repair service and on protection plans. if you dont scare them into adding hundreds onto the cost of the computer they loose money, and your in trouble for being retarded.

ya i lasted 3 months, started giving out my number and undercharging. gently caress those thieves, i will not be a professional liar

E: i do embedded systems and automotive electronics for chrysler now, feels good

Bacon Hat fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2014 around 15:39

tango alpha delta
Sep 9, 2011
Jeff is dumb and butthurt because he can't write no good.

Security guard. 12-14 hours outside in -22 to -40 weather during the winter. Sir, uh, sir, please don't piss on the fuel tanks or near the generator. Thank you sir.

EDIT: Runners up are: Going door to door trying to scam people into letting me estimate how much it would cost to paint their house. Oh yes and food service work. I rotated between cashier, drive through and kitchen staff for two years. I remember being followed by strays on my way home because I smelled so delicious.

Janitor or Day Porter. Three towers to clean and eleven thousand square feet in the plaza to sweep and mop twice a day.

Oh and cleaning motel rooms. Holy gently caress.

Forklift driver. I am not a good forklift driver and will never apply for such a job ever again. When I'm on a forklift, I'm 'that guy'. A trucker almost beat the poo poo out of me when I punched two holes through his trailer while loading it with cedar. His brother actually had to hold him back while I apologized profusely and ran in the other direction.

When I was a janitor, my shady employers tried to pay me with pizza. I had to take them to the labor board to get my loving paycheck.

tango alpha delta fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2014 around 17:00

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Your Dead Gay Son
Jan 1, 2006

I'm Gay


I worked at staples for a year and quit because everyone else had been there for 10+ years and gently caress that poo poo forever.

Was tricked into learning how to perform copy center duties and tech bench duties, because I was told I'd get a pay raise. Instead I just got the lovely tech bench work. At least I wasn't lying to people in the copy center.

One time a guy came in while i was patrolling the floor and he asked me about Corel draw and photoshop. I told him to go home and get a trial of Photoshop, and if he liked it, to pirate it. gently caress that.

I never got that raise, and I moved to another staples in the city. Even through I was trained to work tech bench, I told my boss I wouldn't work it and he never scheduled me for it. I had rad bosses at that place.

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