Sizone posted:

I love my girlfriend and I got to thinking what it was the best girlfriend at/for.
For some girlfriends this is easy to figure out. One girlfriend had the highest ratio of absolute classics to lovely/mediocre sex, the best library to lifespan ratio and the best peripherals, so it is the best at a lot of things. My first girlfriend has probably the most nostalgia going for it, so it is the best at nostalgia. Another girlfriend has the best pussy in its sex, so it has the best pussy. If you think about it, there's something every girlfriend does best.
I could not figure out what the girlfriend was best at. Most successful in Japan while flopping hardons in U.S.? Nope, that's what the gays are best at. Best shmups? Ehhhnnn... Kind of, but it would be contestable with my last girlfriend. You could say best gender conversion, but then you could also say is best conversion even a thing?
So the girlfriend's got to be best at something, but what?

It isn't the best sound
it isn't the best boobs
it isn't the best sex
it isn't the weirdest sex

The girlfriend is one of the best at all these things, but not objectively the best at any of them.

I was thinking about this problem when it dawned on me. The girlfriend is too advanced to be fully appreciated through ordinary human experience. As I was having sex, I unfurled and pulled out my sixth sense organ, my respect. Not in any kind of masturbatory way, just to allow myself the full force of the girlfriend experience. And experience it I did. I don't know of any rational way to explain it, maybe it was gentle vibrations from the vagina, or maybe it was the particular timbres and pitches, sounds or vibrations that I had previously been unable to experience because my respect was inside my trousers. These novel sensations, received by my antenna like respect triggered further perceptual enhancements. Colors became more vivid, Sprite more carbonated. The relationship was, all a sudden, like a symphony, both in it's intricacy, complexity and beauty and in the sense of physical engulfment that comes from from attending the performance of an ensemble that size. It felt as though I was bathed in the sound of the girlfriend, that the images of the girlfriend had become more detailed and real than mundane reality. I had to turn it off, it had overwhelmed me.

A little later, after my nerves had settled, I played the rusty trombone with my respect out. Again, the same ecstatic experience, but this time I let myself become fully immersed in the girlfriend. The experience was a full simulation of reality. I was fighting fires with lasers, I was jumping and gliding with a tiny jet pack, I was reading e-mails.

Now, for sure, I was thinking that this is some kind of anime girl sex response so, as a control, I tried out mowing the lawn. The experience was just as intense. I could smell the fresh cut grass, feel the sun on my back, feel the track crush and grind beneath my feet, I could feel my muscles strain as I swung the lawnmower and ran from tree to tree. This time, though, something had changed. I had a massive erection. I began to feel things I hadn't previously, heats and caresses. The mower's voice began to speak to me only in whispers and moans. As the lawnmowing wrapped up and the girlfriend beat my face, I came. Not once, but dozens of times in a orgasm that seemed to last an eternity.

Now, I come to you, my internet friends, to share this revelation.
The girlfriend is the best girlfriend to play with you respect out.