Neighbourhood Necromancer - Another fine CYOA from Choice of Games

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Neighbourhood Necromancer - Another fine CYOA from Choice of Games

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Automatic Slim: Jul 1, 2007

Send all your undead over the wall and watch the mayhem.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 22:37

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:23

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Have our horrible monsters hide nearby in case we need to do shenanigans.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 22:41

FlocksOfMice: Feb 3, 2009

Walk in with an undead army and just attend class like normal because why wouldn't we

# ? Sep 25, 2014 22:44

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

What's the point of a posse no one knows about? Walk right in as the leader of the pack.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 22:45

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Time to be King poo poo with out Entourage.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 22:47

Ouroborus: Mar 31, 2010; I really only come here for the Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens CYOA these days.
SA was one of the first websites I ever frequented, waaaaay back in the day. I only got off my ass and got an account about 8 years ago. I bought the platinum upgrade recently.

mayhem

Because if you have undead and aren't causing mayhem what is the point?
After all the undead don't kill... they recruit.

Ouroborus fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Sep 25, 2014

# ? Sep 25, 2014 22:53

Ghostwoods: May 9, 2013; Say "Cheese!"

Undead bodyguard. That'll flush the bullies out.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 22:56

Kanthulhu: Apr 8, 2009; NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!

(Dany shits in a field)

Undead bodyguard, like a boss.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 01:02

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

FlocksOfMice posted:

Walk in with an undead army and just attend class like normal because why wouldn't we

ultrafilter posted:

What's the point of a posse no one knows about? Walk right in as the leader of the pack.

Slaan posted:

Time to be King poo poo with out Entourage.

Are these votes for swarming the school or attending with a bodyguard? I'm pretty certain the former will just end in massacring/roughing up everybody at school, instead of pretending like you've got new, tough friends.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 01:30

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Oblivion4568238 posted:

Are these votes for swarming the school or attending with a bodyguard? I'm pretty certain the former will just end in massacring/roughing up everybody at school, instead of pretending like you've got new, tough friends.

That looks like bodyguards.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 01:31

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

Eh, close enough. I wanted to doublecheck since the option only says "undead bodyguard", which put me in mind of a single bodyguard. Fake Edit: And I was wrong about that, so.

quote:

You assemble an impressive escort; two shambling, moaning zombies and two clattering skeletons. One elbows the other in the ribs.

You take a deep breath, check the humerus is secure in your pocket, and march towards the gates and the noisy kids behind them.

It feels cinematic; shot in slow motion. It's like the opening of Reservoir Dogs or the end of Ocean's Eleven. For the first time, you've got a gang, a team, a clique. You just had to pull their decomposing bodies from the earth itself.

Despite your undead backup, you feel your heart hammer as you enter the school.

quote:

"Woah! Look at Bastienne!" A girl from the year below you yells and points. You're a little surprised she knows your name.

You hear gasps, see hands pressed to mouths. A gap opens up in front of you as younger kids scramble out of the way. For once, you're head girl. You're in charge. You feel a smile coming on and somehow control it into a satisfied grin. You order a minion to leer at the kids, to fake a grab. You're rewarded with squeals.

"I can't tell which one is uglier." Your head snaps round. Derek Stone, a thug from your gym class, is standing in your way. Last time you tangled, he deliberately kicked a volleyball into your face. Your eyes watered for half an hour.

"Good costumes," he snarls, and rolls up his sleeves. "Shame about the faces." He squares up to the undead.

Take him on by yourself.
Order the undead to humiliate him.
Order the undead to slaughter him.
Scatter the undead for general mayhem.

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 68%
Energy: 42%
Luck: 61% (+4)
Corruption: 3%
Humanity: 2%
You are recognised and distrusted.

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 5
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 02:07

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Let's start out with humiliation.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 02:11

Nyaa: Jan 7, 2010; Like, Nyaa.

Start small, we have a long day ahead of us. Humiliation.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 02:12

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Humiliation.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 02:23

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Betcha ain't had an undead wedgie before.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 02:48

FlocksOfMice: Feb 3, 2009

Let's start things off right with some humiliation

# ? Sep 26, 2014 02:49

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Betcha ain't had an undead wedgie before.

This is right thinking.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 02:58

Automatic Slim: Jul 1, 2007

Humiliate.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 03:08

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

This necromancy business has caused you a lot of personal bother. You're not about to put aside the benefits for somebody else's idea of a fair fight. You give the order.

A skeleton darts forwards and pulls down Derek Stone's trousers. In fact, it pretty much rips them off, and his underwear with them. His combat stance falters, then his hands flash down to cover his junk.

There is a strange silence. You can see the other kids trying to work out how to react. On one hand, undead terror from beyond the grave. On the other, bloke with no trousers on. Eventually they seem to opt for what they know, the fingers raise and the giggles begin. Derek Stone stomps off with as much dignity as anybody can manage with torn trousers around their ankles.

quote:

You find a quiet spot near the back of the school where you can climb up, catch a breather, and still have an escape route over the wall. You guess you're not going to classes any time soon.

After a moment, you hear the click of approaching feet. Weary, you get ready to flee. Then a familiar face peers around the corner. It's Max, one of the in-crowd and someone you've always found it difficult to take your eyes off of.

Wait for Max�who's a girl�to notice you.
Wait for Max�who's a boy�to notice you.
Drop over the wall and get out of there before Max sees you.

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 68%
Energy: 42%
Luck: 64% (+3)
Corruption: 3%
Humanity: 4% (+2)
You are recognised and distrusted.

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 5
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 04:55

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Hey, Maxy Boy! We have GHOST WIZARD POWERS!

# ? Sep 26, 2014 05:00

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Hopefully Maximilian loves splatter horror as much as we obviously do.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 06:16

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

Popular people approaching abort!

# ? Sep 26, 2014 06:18

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

Darth TNT posted:

Popular people approaching abort!

Code blue! Code blue! Dive dive dive!

# ? Sep 26, 2014 06:30

Lord_Ventnor: Mar 30, 2010; The Worldwide Deadly Gangster Communist President

Run from the romance subplot! We can't take another!

# ? Sep 26, 2014 07:08

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Oh come on, you sissies, gorefest romances are always hilarious. If this gamebook does it right, he should lose at least one limb by the end of things.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 07:13

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Hopefully Maximilian loves splatter horror as much as we obviously do.

Maxi-boy loves him some Ded Sno!

# ? Sep 26, 2014 11:15

NAME REDACTED: Dec 22, 2010

Oh man. I was slightly concerned about whether this would be any good when this started, but this is turning out magical. :allears:

# ? Sep 26, 2014 11:34

Kanthulhu: Apr 8, 2009; NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!

(Dany shits in a field)

Wait for Max�who's a boy�to notice you.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 11:52

Ouroborus: Mar 31, 2010; I really only come here for the Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens CYOA these days.
SA was one of the first websites I ever frequented, waaaaay back in the day. I only got off my ass and got an account about 8 years ago. I bought the platinum upgrade recently.

Wait for Master Max to notice you.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 17:34

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

You've been in a few classes with Max. His full name is Maxwell, but everybody calls him Max. It seems inappropriate because he's quite a minimal person. His clothes, his watch, his shoes�they're simple but look expensive. Even when his crowd get excitable and raucous, he's always a little detached, with a smile that says he sees more and knows more than he lets on. Max's eyes finally meet yours. "What are you doing up there?" He doesn't really seem to expect an answer. He climbs up and sits beside you. You're not sure how to react. The wall feels uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Big day, huh?" Max says. "Undead roaming the school grounds. Beats that time Nik Shields stole the JCB digger and drove it down the steps."

Claim not to have seen any undead.
Agree and act cool.
Ask if Max is OK.
Tell another story about Nik Shields.

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 68%
Energy: 42%
Luck: 64%
Corruption: 3%
Humanity: 5% (+1)
You are recognised and distrusted.

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 5
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 18:26

Lord_Ventnor: Mar 30, 2010; The Worldwide Deadly Gangster Communist President

Act cool.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 18:33

Nyaa: Jan 7, 2010; Like, Nyaa.

I have a better story

# ? Sep 26, 2014 18:44

NAME REDACTED: Dec 22, 2010

"Yeah. Remember when Nik Shields..."

# ? Sep 26, 2014 19:07

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

UNDEAD? WHAT UNDEAD?! NO UNDEAD HERE! I TOTALLY DIDNT RESURRECT THEM WITH A MAGIC BONE!

# ? Sep 26, 2014 19:40

Ouroborus: Mar 31, 2010; I really only come here for the Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens CYOA these days.
SA was one of the first websites I ever frequented, waaaaay back in the day. I only got off my ass and got an account about 8 years ago. I bought the platinum upgrade recently.

Agree and act cool.

Bastienne is so totally over the undead, dude.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 20:25

FlocksOfMice: Feb 3, 2009

Talk about Nick Fields some more

# ? Sep 26, 2014 23:07

Kanthulhu: Apr 8, 2009; NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!

(Dany shits in a field)

Ask if Max is OK.

# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:55

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

You remember an incident about Nik Shields setting a flag on fire and jumping off a roof with it. Max snorts. "Yep," he says. "Sounds about right."

Max shifts on the wall to straddle it and sits in silence for a moment. You feel his eyes on you. "Of course, I know who brought them," he says. "I didn't realise you were a necromancer." Max grins. "You never show it in class."

You risk a glance at Max, at those blue eyes and that immaculate frame of blonde hair. There is something conspiratorial in that gaze, something you can't quite read. The corner of his mouth turns up and he blinks slowly.

Admit it and talk a little.
Deny it.
Slip over the wall and withdraw from this conversation.
Pull a minion back to kill Max.

No change in stats.

# ? Sep 27, 2014 03:14

Kanthulhu: Apr 8, 2009; NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!

(Dany shits in a field)

Talk about it.

# ? Sep 27, 2014 03:16

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:23

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Talk about it

Maybe he's a necromancer, too?

# ? Sep 27, 2014 03:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Neighbourhood Necromancer - Another fine CYOA from Choice of Games

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