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Religion is cool
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Sep 12, 2014 05:19
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Sep 12, 2014 05:31
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where's that guy who thinks white people are made by satan when you need him?
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Sep 12, 2014 05:39
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whats your favorite psalm when your preacher gets angry about politics do you also get angry
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Sep 12, 2014 05:52
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Mycroft Holmes posted:where's that guy who thinks white people are made by satan when you need him? funny story ive talked to a lot of people who think this
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Sep 12, 2014 05:54
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you know white people are from the devil because when you try to talk to them about jesus they get upset and run away
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Sep 12, 2014 05:55
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GORILLA BASTARD posted:Which ones are the good blacks again? meh  Gazpacho posted:whats your favorite psalm no idgaf lol some people at my church are retarded tho 4 real but there's a bad one in every bunch or whatever etc etcetc
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Sep 12, 2014 09:09
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please prove ur faith by posting in other forums besides this one
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Sep 12, 2014 09:10
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Mycroft Holmes posted:where's that guy who thinks white people are made by satan when you need him? whites ARE satan. theyre a race of violent, incestuous , rapacious apes genetically engineered by the geneticist yakub 6,600 years ago on the isle of patmos. he designed these vile beasts to make a mockery of the original man, the black african man (who is god) and to destroy his mighty cities and steal his technology and culture. whites are soulless beasts responsible for the downfall of humanity and its current primitive technological and spiritual state gently caress the devil in white skin
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Sep 12, 2014 09:15
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i go to a baptist church sometimes when i visit my folks. i have to say i much prefer mass. the theology is really strained in protestant churches. it's like the preacher comes up with some half-baked idea and i just want to correct him. this preacher even said that god forsake jesus on the cross, when actually jesus was citing psalm 22. it pains me to see a congregation getting misinformation like that.
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Sep 12, 2014 09:17
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Calling you out dude. Never heard you pray once except the occasional family dinner. Unfortunately praying doesn't work quite the same way as it used to in the old times where you could just peacefully pray in private. Now you have to make a youtube video. Seeing as you are a Southern Baptist (btw, none of you get into Heaven, so you might as well just give up here), I'm going to toxx YOU into posting a video of you praying to me and it must include speaking in tongues, fried chicken, and elderly man who seems nice but is obviously a very creepy person, and a daddy-daughter purity "engagement" along with one other interesting, inventive idea that you can come up with (can be anything!). If you complete this within 7 days, you will be granted access to heaven (which like I said, 99.9% of you don't). If you fail...
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Sep 12, 2014 12:05
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GORILLA BASTARD posted:They're gonna marry respectable southern gentlemen and cuck them with the most ghetto black dudes outta Florida they can find. And there won't be George Zimmerman around to right those wrongs. cucking has never been more relevant than in this thread
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Sep 12, 2014 14:05
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Do you believe it's a wife's duty to serve her husband?
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Sep 12, 2014 14:11
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What's it like being the religious equivalent of being an inbred hick? Also, what's it like being an actual IRL inbred hick?
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Sep 12, 2014 14:26
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pretty sure the op's family is Baptist, so are most or all of their friends and acquaintances and most of their community. To quit being Baptist would feel like all of these people are wrong and stupid & the op's whole life inside and out has been a lie. Also their family and community would reject and ostracise them. So unless the OP moves to NYC and becomes a sadbrain all bitter about their family and upbringing, there's no way the op is going to change. Most poeople don't/wouldn't. I mean, why would you WANT to? Smarmy insult posts just make the OP feel attacked by dumb athiests so when Glen Beck says "Christians are persecuted minority its culture war" the op can think about this thread and go "Yeah I sure know how that feels" so good job goons Desperado Bones posted:I'm Catholic and we drink blood during mass. My grandma was a Calvinist and she said that nunneries have secret tunnels underneath so priests can sneak in when they want some action. (I do not actually believe that)
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Sep 12, 2014 15:39
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Kyrie eleison posted:i go to a baptist church sometimes when i visit my folks. i have to say i much prefer mass. the theology is really strained in protestant churches. it's like the preacher comes up with some half-baked idea and i just want to correct him. this preacher even said that god forsake jesus on the cross, when actually jesus was citing psalm 22. it pains me to see a congregation getting misinformation like that. lmao you manage to make hating baptists seem lame kill yourself
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Sep 12, 2014 15:47
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This is what angels actually look like as described in the bible 
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Sep 12, 2014 15:54
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I worked with a Southern Baptist guy once, loving weirdest dude I ever knew. He always wore t-shirst with graphic depictions of Jesus getting crucified with things like "What have YOU done for HIM lately". He got mad when we cussed or talked about drinking and loving girls. At one point he got a girlfriend and I would grill him about what he did with her at nights and he'd turn bright red trying to contain his rage. He said they could hold hands and maybe kiss one day but they were 'focusing on Jesus right now'. Everything was Jesus. Everything. Jesus.
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Sep 12, 2014 15:57
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ilikedirt posted:whites ARE satan. theyre a race of violent, incestuous , rapacious apes genetically engineered by the geneticist yakub 6,600 years ago on the isle of patmos. he designed these vile beasts to make a mockery of the original man, the black african man (who is god) and to destroy his mighty cities and steal his technology and culture. whites are soulless beasts responsible for the downfall of humanity and its current primitive technological and spiritual state I still can't tell if you seriously believe this or are a tobleronetriangular level troll. Either way, I enjoy being called satans tool. It makes me feel useful.
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Sep 12, 2014 16:10
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how many of your relatives have spoken in tongues
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Sep 12, 2014 16:20
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lmao OP is a southern baptist
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Sep 12, 2014 16:50
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naem posted:This is what angels actually look like as described in the bible that's loving awesome e: do u have to heat up the rings before the eyes appear like gandalf did?
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Sep 12, 2014 16:54
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:that's loving awesome I believe they burn with the love of Christ
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Sep 12, 2014 16:56
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If you haven't killed yourself OP, you're still part of the problem.
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Sep 12, 2014 16:58
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Muttonchips posted:Don't care about gays, don't care what you believe, don't care about teaching evolution in bible. Ask me whatever you want I guess *shrug* Why is your religion for babies?
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Sep 12, 2014 17:13
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I was raised in a very strict Baptist household in Texas. AMA
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Sep 12, 2014 17:14
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Sep 12, 2014 17:19
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Hungry Joe posted:I was raised in a very strict Baptist household in Texas. AMA where do bad folks go when they die?
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Sep 12, 2014 17:23
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Hungry Joe posted:I was raised in a very strict Baptist household in Texas. AMA Why haven't you killed your family and burned your childhood home to ashes?
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Sep 12, 2014 17:25
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InterFaced posted:Why haven't you killed your family and burned your childhood home to ashes? where did he say that?
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Sep 12, 2014 17:26
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:where do bad folks go when they die? I was taught they don't go to heaven where the angels fly. For real tho, being raised like that was kind of a mindfuck when I realized that my experiences growing up were not the norm for most people. To be clear, my current stance on religion is lolz
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Sep 12, 2014 17:28
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Sorry about your crummy beliefs.
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Sep 12, 2014 17:30
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InterFaced posted:Why haven't you killed your family and burned your childhood home to ashes? I was pretty angry for awhile but I realize now their intentions were good. I don't like to visit tho because it is literally impossible to have a conversation with my moms w/o the j man wheedling into the convo
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Sep 12, 2014 17:30
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You need to man up and buy a fedora, then wear it and tell your mom about spaghetti monsters.
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Sep 12, 2014 17:33
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Hungry Joe posted:I was raised in a very strict Baptist household in Texas. AMA sic em bears?
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Sep 12, 2014 17:34
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Shithouse Dave posted:Do you make dishes that have a can of cream of mushroom soup in for church potlucks? Those are Lutherans. SB's make fried food.
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Sep 12, 2014 17:40
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Those cream of mushroom soup casseroles fuckin own.
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Sep 12, 2014 17:41
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Sheng-ji Yang posted:sic em bears? P close 
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Sep 12, 2014 17:44
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PureEvil6_13 posted:I worked with a Southern Baptist guy once, loving weirdest dude I ever knew. He always wore t-shirst with graphic depictions of Jesus getting crucified with things like "What have YOU done for HIM lately". He got mad when we cussed or talked about drinking and loving girls. Was she a fatty? I don't mind some dirty hillbilly action
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Sep 12, 2014 21:29
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 22:47 |
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wgat do you think about catholics op
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Sep 12, 2014 21:29
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