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Behind the exterior of clever humor and clumsy anxiety lies a mind wishing to voyage the realms of the human spirit. I have, unfortunately, lived a lonely life that has not offered me the graces of a young woman's companionship, and so I hope one willing to give their heart to the lost may answer. I'm a big fan of metal music of all sorts (old-school metal, death metal, power metal, melodic metal, thrash and generally a lot of underground metal in addition to some mainstream stuff) though I don't categorize myself as a metalhead and, in fact, highly resent the fanbase at large and refuse to associate with it. I also greatly enjoy alternative rock from the '80s and '90s as well as '80s pop, which further serves to separate myself from aforementioned crowd. I also have a great interest in sociology, psychology, philosophy, sexuality, sex and gender, popular culture, religion and spirituality. I've also been an avid video gamer for most of my life, though my interest in the activity has waned in recent years. I spend most of my time browsing and posting on the Something Awful forums, which, coincidentally enough, is where I found out about this website. I'd like to think of myself as a nice person, however I tend to be very selective of my pleasant nature and have a lot of trouble keeping it up when I'm frustrated. Despite having a bit of an anger streak I'm a very un-macho guy and get very turned off by that sort of thing. I'm not afraid of showing any emotion as long as it's with someone close to me. Though I generally tend to act in a clever or humorous manner, I have a very large penchant for being over-the-top and poetic in many situations, as well as within my own head. I consider myself a spiritually open agnostic who looks at the subject with a lot of fascination and potential for self-betterment. My attitude can be best summed up as a "circumstantial pessimist who doesn't believe in pessimism" or "I WANT TO BE HAPPY BUT MY LIFE WON'T LET ME sad". --- What I'm Doing With My Life Saving up enough money to finish training for my driver's license and not have to stay trapped with my "married" parents 24/7. That and getting into Columbus State next quarter, assuming my jobless self can afford it. I don't know if it's going to be English, Psychology, Philosophy, Theology, Sexology, some higher Sociology course like the ever horror-storied Women's Studies, Audio Engineering or something I couldn't have possibly thought of. Hopefully I will be able to turn my life around first chance I get. In the meantime I think about what I can do to change the world once I'm out in it. That, and I'm currently making the most of my cheap-rear end microgym (a bench and two small weights, yay!) to achieve the manly body that will bring you orgasmic satisfaction. Just you wait! --- I'm Really Good At Playing video games, obviously, but you don't care about that. I consider myself a cultural feminist good at understanding women and and the whole "her side of the story" thing. At least I think I am. I'm probably not, though. sad I can also write clever or witty opinion pieces, as well as uplifting and moving poetry and stories (though I don't tend to do either very often, so don't be surprised if I actually suck rear end at them). I can figure a lot of things out about the world quite well since that's practically what my life is dedicated to. I also have an Internet radio show that I meticulously craft in terms of structure and not-so-meticulously in terms of DJing. The show is hosted by GBS FM which is publicly available only to Something Awful] members, but you can download archives of the showhttp://www.loudnessrace.com/radiokaraya/ --- The First Thing(s) People Usually Notice About Me The long hair, obviously. That and the nasty overbite I purposefully try to hide in my pics to keep from horrifying everyone. I also am a bit quiet and socially anxious, having a hard time looking at people when they talk, and find myself very confused on what to say if it's not something of intense interest. Basically Aspberger's Syndrome, clinically diagnosed. I'm trying to do the best I can, but I fear it won't be enough for a significant other. Please prove me wrong. sad --- I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About My interests, my life, stories, society and the future. That and sex, which is pretty much the whole reason I'm here: to get my DFLGSLSDFSSDFLS cherry popped. gently caress you if you think I'm pathetic for it; I'll track you down and shove a battle axe* up your rear end, motherfucker! *I don't actually own a battle axe, so just replace with "largest and most horrifyingly painful gardening tool in sight" if you want to be accurate. --- The Most Private Thing I'm Willing to Admit Here Is In my 24 years of life I've never been in a single relationship. Being a shy, obese mama's boy nerd in high school kind of does that to you. And of course I waited approximately 5 years to start college like the lazy rear end I was. So if you wanna be my first, then here's your chance! (Assuming I like you and you're good-looking.) --- You should message me if: You live within about 20 miles of my area, are at least somewhat attractive, and seem like my type. Especially if you want to come to my house and gently caress my virile virgin self raw. Also if you're a goonette looking for a fellow goon to hook up with. Or if you think I look like Scott Bakula. I also tend to be more sexually attracted to older women than younger ones, so if you're in your late 20s/30s and are willing to have sex with a guy my age, DEFINITELY send me a message. Don't message me if you are tremendously overweight. Do message me if you are plus size/voluptuous, though! Don't message me if your message is going to look like grammatical armageddon. Blatant disregard for language is a huge, HUGE turnoff, and if you type that way all over the Internet I will categorize you with all the teenybopper ditzes of the world no matter what. And if your PROFILE is written like that, then I highly recommend you loving kill yourself and spare whatever intelligent people there are left in this world your disgusting existence. If you're a nice girl who's into melodic metal, passionate romance]], liberal politics and girly fashion OH MY GOD MESSAGE ME RIGHT NOW YOU ARE MY DREAM WOMAN FDSJFDSLSLDKASELAJSASTLIJ 
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Sep 18, 2014 01:43
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 10:39 |
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no you shut the gently caress UP OP
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Sep 18, 2014 01:44
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLyQlfxiXc4
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Sep 18, 2014 01:44
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nigga got banned
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Sep 18, 2014 01:44
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kuuenbuu was hilarious and helldump was awesome bring it back
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Sep 18, 2014 01:51
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the new plentyoffarts.com profile lookin good, mate
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Sep 18, 2014 01:51
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Was that the guy who was getting owned by the trans goons?
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Sep 18, 2014 01:55
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Lowtax posted:Was that the guy who was getting owned by the trans goons?
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Sep 18, 2014 01:55
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Lowtax posted:Was that the guy who was getting owned by the trans goons? Hi lowtax
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Sep 18, 2014 01:56
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hes off to reddit
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Sep 18, 2014 01:56
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Lowtax posted:Was that the guy who was getting owned by the trans goons? which one
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Sep 18, 2014 01:56
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One of the all-time greatest threads. Helldump was great, but I'm pretty sure the callout threads would fall pretty squarely under the "cyber-bullying" heading nowadays. Zeph Mericural and Djinn Flyssa had amazing callout threads. Was also a fan of the one with the 13 year-old kid who stole his mom's credit card to invest in a pyramid scheme involving vitamins or something, resulting in the infamous "Hello, I'm from the internet."
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Sep 18, 2014 01:56
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hahahaha that guy
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Sep 18, 2014 01:57
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I don't know if I can even bring myself to laugh at him, poor lil guy
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Sep 18, 2014 01:57
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i'm gay
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Sep 18, 2014 01:57
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0en3F0Hia4
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Sep 18, 2014 01:57
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Lowtax posted:Was that the guy who was getting owned by the trans goons? yeah, he's a bad troll who should have listened to his father.
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Sep 18, 2014 01:57
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his helldump thread and that radio show clip were legendary but his okcupid just makes him seem like a nice enough, pitiable but well-intentioned nerdlinger
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Sep 18, 2014 01:58
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mookface posted:hes off to something sensitive
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Sep 18, 2014 01:59
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in case you haven't heard it before, here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OYZ04mCGCo
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Sep 18, 2014 01:59
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hell i'm laughing
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Sep 18, 2014 02:00
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ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:in case you haven't heard it before, here it is lol something sensitive
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Sep 18, 2014 02:02
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Sep 18, 2014 02:04
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The Hissing Butt posted:something sensitive same poo poo crew
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Sep 18, 2014 02:05
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Lowtax posted:hahahahahaha I have never heard / watched this before holy poo poo seriously? its a beautiful, holy thing
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Sep 18, 2014 02:06
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He looks like a lovely version of Trotsky
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Sep 18, 2014 02:06
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I just got hit in the head. Is everyones else ok?
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Sep 18, 2014 02:09
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Lowtax posted:hahahahahaha I have never heard / watched this before one of hellhumps greatest threads
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Sep 18, 2014 02:11
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Sep 18, 2014 02:12
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is this some kind of marketing ploy to get me to buy archives cuz it's working
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Sep 18, 2014 02:12
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lowtax do you read ss?
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Sep 18, 2014 02:12
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Lowtax posted:hahahahahaha I have never heard / watched this before
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Sep 18, 2014 02:16
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Stoic Commie posted:lowtax do you read ss?
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Sep 18, 2014 02:17
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Oh yeah that guy
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Sep 18, 2014 02:17
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Frostwerks posted:kuuenbuu was hilarious and helldump was awesome bring it back
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Sep 18, 2014 02:19
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naem posted:Oh yeah that guy he's a stupid baby who thinks he is some kind of genius that will amount to nothing
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Sep 18, 2014 02:21
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Lowtax posted:Never have, never will. I get the highlights of their idiocy and wacky conspiracy theories from Garbage Day. good garbage day, you should pay him more
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Sep 18, 2014 02:21
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Lowtax posted:Never have, never will. I get the highlights of their idiocy and wacky conspiracy theories from Garbage Day. That reminds me, whatever happened to Fragmaster after he stopped running the forums back whenever that was?
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Sep 18, 2014 02:21
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Voted 3
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Sep 18, 2014 02:22
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 10:39 |
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also funny was that guy who talked about how enriching rpgs are compared to you know, loving. or human interaction in general.
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Sep 18, 2014 02:29
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