Neurosis posted:

they are 4 feet tall and fight undead in a swamp they are p cool

Whybird posted:

The anal circumference charts from FATAL are kind of low-hanging fruit when you consider that the whole system was the unreadable scrawl of two idiots with too much time on their hands.

white_wolf.jpg, on the other hand, was an illustration from a book that people exchanged money for.

Neurosis posted:

they are 4 feet tall and fight undead in a swamp they are p cool

Neurosis posted:

whoa

what world of darkness thing is this i would like to 'roleplay' as that lady

Yivgev posted:

please be kind to the duck men on your quest to become king of dragon pass

a starwar betamax posted:

here is a funny thing from a table top roll playing game i play, it is called carcasonne and the little people are called meeples! haha

Whybird posted:

white_wolf.jpg, on the other hand, was an illustration from a book that people exchanged money for.

scalded schlong posted:

what is supposed to be happening here, other than the obvious "nerds beating off"

scalded schlong posted:

what is supposed to be happening here, other than the obvious "nerds beating off"

Neurosis posted:

they are 4 feet tall and fight undead in a swamp they are p cool

Neurosis posted:

like in glorantha there are these things that are the children of the goddess of rape and anything they rape gives birth to another one of them

Whybird posted:

The anal circumference charts from FATAL are kind of low-hanging fruit when you consider that the whole system was the unreadable scrawl of two idiots with too much time on their hands.

Neurosis posted:

Yivgev posted:

ccan i just find a loving ogre to rip my butthole open???? god this campaign suuuuucks

paranoid randroid posted:

look bobs this is ROLE-playing and if u want an ogre butthole party ur going to have to have in-character justification

quote:

When the World was Bad and everyone shook in their beds, Eurmal was up to his old tricks. He had taught men and women how to enjoy each other and was busy practising himself. He seduced many of the women of Orlanth's Household including Heler's wife. Enraged by this, even though he had himself seduced Ernalda, Orlanth's wife, Heler complained to Orlanth and suggested that Eurmal was acting like Ragnaglar. Orlanth grabbed Eurmal by the scruff of the neck and shook him in the air, saying that if he so much as looked at a woman until Orlanth said it was all right, Orlanth would blast Eurmal's weapon with a Thunderbolt.

Uleria, whom Eurmal had tried to seduce many times but failed, heard this and decided to have some fun. She dressed in her finest clothes and walked by Eurmal, who tried to ignore her but changed the way he was standing. Uleria then started to remove her clothing, very slowly, and smiled at Eurmal who had to use a sporran to hide his embarrassment. When Uleria removed all her clothes and started to show Eurmal what he was missing, those who looked on thought that Eurmal was holding a pink spear which almost took his eye out. Finally, Uleria used the rest of her charms and Eurmal would have been lost except that Orlanth called to him to attend. Eurmal could not see the Storm God in his condition, especially after Orlanth's threat, and because he could not easily walk, he snapped off the pink spear and threw it to Uleria with a laugh. Uleria took the spear and, deprived of his company and starting to itch, used it for her own pleasure.

Orlanth and Eurmal went into the Underworld in search of the Treasures of the Earth. The First Guardian they met was Warm Earth, a goddess of licentious behaviour who took men and drained them of their vitality until they were mere husks. Orlanth saw her beauty and was entranced for she reminded him of his beloved Ernalda, but Eurmal stepped between them and took all her wanton charms. Eurmal was unmoved and Warm Earth stepped aside, saying that it would be easier to raise the dead than stir feelings in Eurmal's trews. Uleria, however, screamed so loudly that a couple of Stars fell from the Sky in surprise and came to see what she was doing.

Next came Cold Earth whose grip was the Grave. However, Orlanth had taught his followers to spread their souls on the Winds from their funeral pyres and had no fear of the Grave's cold embrace, so he passed the demon with no trouble.

Finally came Silent Earth who guarded the courts of Ty Kora Tek and threatened to overwhelm the two gods, but Eurmal heard, in the far, far distance, Uleria's screams of pleasure which had only just carried to where he was, and heard her crying his name over and over again. This broke the Silence and allowed the two Gods to pass.

They broke into Ty Kora Tek's Court and saw the dread souls which stood in Silence. Suddenly afraid they turned and fled, Eurmal only stopping to grab a stone sceptre and a head-dress of fruit, Orlanth also stopped and grabbed a handful of jewels. As they fled, they were chased by the demons of the Underworld, led by Babeester Gor and Gorgorma. As they drew closer, Eurmal looked back and threw some of the fruit on the ground. Some of the demons stopped to pick up the fruit and let Eurmal go. Again and again this happened until Eurmal ran out of fruit. In desperation he grabbed at Orlanth's Jewels and threw them back, causing Babeester Gor to stumble and fall. However, dread Gorgorma reached out and caught Eurmal by the heel, drawing him towards her second mouth, but to her astonishment he had nothing to give her except the stone sceptre which blunted her dread teeth. Eurmal pulled it out and knocked her to the ground as Orlanth grabbed him and pulled him free. The pair then ran from the Underworld and returned to Orlanth's Halls.

Eurmal saw Uleria and demanded the return of his spear, but she refused saying that it had given her much pleasure. "But look," said Eurmal "how soft it is now, surely you would prefer this sceptre - it will always be hard." They exchanged gifts and were friendly afterwards.

Yaldabaoth posted:

The deity of rape is female? Sounds like males are trying desperately to shift the blame for something they do to the other gender

Kind of like when they try to claim the lovely Abrahamic god is female too

Neurosis posted:

she was traumatised or some poo poo and asked to be made the goddess of the worst thing that could be done to another person

HJE-Cobra posted:

Wait, how are bugbears on that chart? Aren't bugbears just piles of bugs in a vaguely bear-shaped mass? Or are there multiple definitions of the word "bugbear", I don't know

On that note


Owlbears are also pretty great

Chattin' about bears

Neurosis posted:

A Bugbear is a legendary creature or type of hobgoblin comparable to the bogeyman (or bugaboo or babau), and other creatures of folklore, all of which were historically used in some cultures to frighten disobedient children.[1]

so it doesn't have much to do with bugs