my friend just lost a whole dildo up his ass

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GoodbyeTurtles

wth posted:

tell your friend that it's going to be alright. tell him to relax. tell him to breathe. tell him to go sit on the toilet and tell him to prepare to pop the cork

# ? Oct 1, 2014 23:45

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:47

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

smoobles posted:

the real dildo was inside you all along

# ? Oct 1, 2014 23:46

Bloodfart McCoy: That's a high quality avatar right there.

There's definitely something happening after that expired laxative.

He feels nauseous and his farts smell like hot dogfood

# ? Oct 1, 2014 23:51

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

remember to tell your 'friend' to use one with a flared bottom next time. smh

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:12

Pinche Rudo

Have him lie down and jump on his stomach to help pop the dildo out his butt

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:12

FluffieDuckie

Colonel Wood posted:

Have him lie down and jump on his stomach to help pop the dildo out his butt

please film this

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:16

Bloodfart McCoy: That's a high quality avatar right there.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

remember to tell your 'friend' to use one with a flared bottom next time. smh

gently caress you he's smart!

OH GOD IT FEELS LIKE HIS INSODES ARE BEING RIPPED TO PIECES

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:20

Bloodfart McCoy: That's a high quality avatar right there.

Colonel Wood posted:

Have him lie down and jump on his stomach to help pop the dildo out his butt

it went deeper and he just puked

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:21

Lil Cunty

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

it went deeper and he just puked

that means it's almost out keep jumping

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:27

hemale in pain

why cant he poop it out

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:31

hemale in pain

true story, i lost a condom up someones arse before and had to fish it out with my fingers

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:32

Bloodfart McCoy: That's a high quality avatar right there.

WD-40 posted:

that means it's almost out keep jumping

of his mouth or his rear end?????????????

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:32

Lil Cunty

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

of his mouth or his rear end?????????????

its prob right in the middle now so it could go either way just keep jumping

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:33

Bloodfart McCoy: That's a high quality avatar right there.

BLOOOD!!?!?!?!?!?!

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:36

A Time To Chill

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

remember to tell your 'friend' to use one with a flared bottom next time. smh

my guess is there's enough amateur goatmen out there that a non-zero number of people have lost toys with flared bottoms up their butts

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:37

google THIS

if you hit it just right it'll break in half and half will come out his mouth and half will come out his butt and that signifies good luck

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:37

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

BLOOOD!!?!?!?!?!?!

you should start going over your friend's will, because he is nearing the end

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:40

A Time To Chill

rip op's friend. also rip lost rear end dildo

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:40

Lil Cunty

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

BLOOOD!!?!?!?!?!?!

oh

oh jeez

oh man

yeah i think you jumped too hard

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:41

google THIS

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

BLOOOD!!?!?!?!?!?!

a blood...fart?

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:41

Bloodfart McCoy: That's a high quality avatar right there.

oh god the expired milk of magnesia he drank just pushed a whole load of diarrhea behind the dildo! HE CANT POOP IT OUT IT'S LIKE A loving CHAMPAGN CORK!!!!!

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:43

Bloodfart McCoy: That's a high quality avatar right there.

no wait it's it's happening! it's pushing through my insides! just dont know if itsa folowing my colon path or just making a straight beeline to my rear end shredding through my loving guts

SOMETIHNG IS DEFINITELY HAPPENINF THERES BLOOD AND FARTS EVERYWHERE THIS IS ITTR

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:43

James Trickington

had this same problem with poop before

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:48

cuntman.net

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:50

google THIS

do the Heimlich maneuver except have him stand on his head and do it upside down

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:51

FluffieDuckie

Jett posted:

do the Heimlich maneuver except have him stand on his head and do it upside down

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:52

tao of lmao

This is the Bloodfart McCoy origin story.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:54

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Jett posted:

do the Heimlich maneuver except have him stand on his head and do it upside down

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:55

Bloodfart McCoy: That's a high quality avatar right there.

Happy 6,000 Posts to Me!!!!! :siren:

I'd like to thank everyone in BYOB for being my friend and being a chill group of people to hang out with! This thread proved that BYOB is a nice place, because you all cared about me in your own special way. Whether it was offering me sound (or questionable) medical advice, trying to keep me calm, or gently attempting to get me to accept my latent, repressed homosexuality, you all cared

Without you, this 6,000th post would not have been possible :hfive:

Now let us celebrate!

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:57

Lil Cunty

# ? Oct 2, 2014 01:00

cuntman.net

i dont think i was very helpful

# ? Oct 2, 2014 01:00

A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?