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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > my friend just lost a whole dildo up his ass
 
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Bloodfart McCoy

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it just popped in there

he's really scared and it hurts really bad. he doesn't know what to do and is too embarrassed to tell his mom. does he have to go to the hospital? If left alone am i going to die?

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 22:43
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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:34
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Bloodfart McCoy

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FluffieDuckie posted:

seems like you'll be fine. it's your friend that's going to die :shrug:

whatever. should i drive him to the hispotal? It really hurts to sit down. I don't know if he can handle the bumpy drive.

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 22:48
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Bloodfart McCoy

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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

he should naturally die of shame within the hour. let him go. he's lived a full life

No he hasn't. he's definitely not ready to die yet.

Awesome! posted:

tell him to lube up his pinky finger and stick it in there

I FELT THE END OF IT!!!!

Then i pushed it further in by accident! SON OF A BITCH

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 22:55
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Bloodfart McCoy

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no

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 22:57
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Bloodfart McCoy

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smoobles posted:

op i suspect the "friend" in this story is you

gently caress you no!

I'm straight dammit. Why the hell would i gently caress myself in the rear end with a dildo if i'm straight!? What do you think i am some kind oif disgusting human being???? I have a girlfriend and we're in love. Gayity and homosensualness are disgussting. I am not a gay and I and if you don't believe me i'll wreck you bitch. I am not a homo.

Stop derailing and help my friend out.

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 23:05
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Bloodfart McCoy

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Lizard Wizard posted:

OP, is this your dildo?
* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 23:07
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Bloodfart McCoy

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I'm going to hvae my friend drink a whole bottle of milk of magnesia i have in the fridge. Maybe he can just poop it out. That dildo wasn't too much bigger than some massive shits he's taken, so i don't see why this wouldn't work.

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 23:16
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Bloodfart McCoy

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Sleepy Owl posted:

op dont tell your friend this but i think hes hopelessly stupid and maybe gay as well

Shut up. he's not gay and he's not stupid. He's actually like really smart, but he doesn't apply himself. He was just messing around and got himself into trouble. Stop being judger

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 23:21
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Bloodfart McCoy

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the milk of magnesia expired in 2007.

Drink?



wth posted:

this forum is full of psychos who get off on others pain and torment. it's completely messed.

we're friends now.

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 23:25
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Bloodfart McCoy

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Okay he drank it and there's an incredible rumbling in his stomach. he feels sick now.

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 23:41
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Bloodfart McCoy

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There's definitely something happening after that expired laxative.

He feels nauseous and his farts smell like hot dogfood

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2014 23:51
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Bloodfart McCoy

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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

remember to tell your 'friend' to use one with a flared bottom next time. smh

gently caress you he's smart!

OH GOD IT FEELS LIKE HIS INSODES ARE BEING RIPPED TO PIECES

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 00:20
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Bloodfart McCoy

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Colonel Wood posted:

Have him lie down and jump on his stomach to help pop the dildo out his butt

it went deeper and he just puked

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 00:21
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Bloodfart McCoy

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WD-40 posted:

that means it's almost out keep jumping

of his mouth or his rear end?????????????

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 00:32
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Bloodfart McCoy

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BLOOOD!!?!?!?!?!?!
* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 00:36
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Bloodfart McCoy

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oh god the expired milk of magnesia he drank just pushed a whole load of diarrhea behind the dildo! HE CANT POOP IT OUT IT'S LIKE A loving CHAMPAGN CORK!!!!!

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 00:43
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Bloodfart McCoy

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no wait it's it's happening! it's pushing through my insides! just dont know if itsa folowing my colon path or just making a straight beeline to my rear end shredding through my loving guts

SOMETIHNG IS DEFINITELY HAPPENINF THERES BLOOD AND FARTS EVERYWHERE THIS IS ITTR

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 00:43
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Bloodfart McCoy

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:siren:Happy 6,000 Posts to Me!!!!!:siren:

:homebrew:





I'd like to thank everyone in BYOB for being my friend and being a chill group of people to hang out with! This thread proved that BYOB is a nice place, because you all cared about me in your own special way. Whether it was offering me sound (or questionable) medical advice, trying to keep me calm, or gently attempting to get me to accept my latent, repressed homosexuality, you all cared :)

Without you, this 6,000th post would not have been possible :hfive:



Now let us celebrate!
* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 00:57
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Bloodfart McCoy

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Spaceship blunts for everyone!
* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 01:10
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Bloodfart McCoy

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A Time To Chill posted:

these are the voyages of the starship blunterprise

It's five year mission: to chill out and blaze with some aliens or whatever,

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 02:54
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Bloodfart McCoy

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The dildo came out sideways and I bled to death on the toilet.

the end

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 03:48
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Bloodfart McCoy

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wth posted:

your friend

of course :downs:

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 12:09
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Bloodfart McCoy

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Raising awareness in this thread.

FEADS

Fully Enveloped Anal Dildo Syndrome

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 16:34
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Bloodfart McCoy

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Jett posted:

I've seen GBS threads to the effect that your rear end is basically a vacuum cleaner and anything you put up there is likely to be sucked up

Except for poop :stare:

Poop must possess some strange scientific, even spiritual properties.

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2014 20:49
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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:34
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Bloodfart McCoy

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A Time To Chill posted:

anyone know where to get those giant edible double ended dildos? or gummie worms w/e. i'm gonna use it as a dildo tho

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Worlds-Largest-Gummy-Worm-Cherry-Blue-Raspberry-Flavor-/201096354135?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2ed246d957

* # ¿ Oct 3, 2014 17:29
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > my friend just lost a whole dildo up his ass