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it was legal to gently caress animals in germany until about a year or two ago lol
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Oct 15, 2014 12:09
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Megadyptes posted:it was legal to gently caress animals in germany until about a year or two ago lol
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Oct 15, 2014 12:11
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Megadyptes posted:this thread is hosed up lol It's some win.
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Oct 15, 2014 12:13
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On my school playground we had a bunch of those slides that are like a big enclosed plastic tube. It was a rule that you were specifically not allowed to stand at the bottom and poke your head in. This was of course to prevent collisions with children coming down the slide. One day I see a kid doing this so I decided to be a little playground vigilante and teach him a lesson. I went partway down the slide and waited at the bottom for him to stick his head in, then kicked him in the face. He started crying and went running to the teacher. I was fine since I was just going down the slide, and he got in a bunch of trouble because he knew he was breaking the rules.
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Oct 15, 2014 12:21
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Cardiovorax posted:Don't judge all of Germany by my hosed-up childhood.
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Oct 15, 2014 12:36
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Cardiovorax posted:It very definitely isn't. Incest a 'fundamental right', German committee says
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Oct 15, 2014 14:31
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sorry, kid! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u1Lv8FGJQA&t=190s lmao
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Oct 15, 2014 14:44
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when i was a kid i found a small lizard like a gecko and i wanted to see what its heart looked like so i pulled its front legs apart because i thought thats where its heart would be and i just saw all this white stuff then like i suddenly realised what i had done to the lizard and i felt terrible and never intentionally harmed an animal again except that time i ran over a toad on purpose
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Oct 15, 2014 14:46
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Cardiovorax posted:It very definitely isn't. He abused his son
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Oct 15, 2014 14:51
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i hit my grandmother and she misrememebered it and my brother got in real fuckin trouble for it
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Oct 15, 2014 14:51
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SirEvelynTremble posted:read my thread lol
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Oct 15, 2014 15:06
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this is a good honeypot thread god bless
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Oct 15, 2014 15:16
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...uh, Well, I gave a kid a hosed up eye for the rest of his life by smashing a T-Ball straight back toward the mound in my first and only church t-ball appearance. In preschool, a girl was hanging out with the only black kid in class under a table. I flipped the table over and told them to knock it off. I was the palest, whitest, blonde-haired, blue-eyed perfect Aryan specimen around, so that was my jurisdiction and god-given right to do so. 
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Oct 15, 2014 15:41
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Man this thread pretty much proves what sensitive folks have been saying about goons all along. Goons rule pretty much sums it up. Keep up the great stories guys!
iceaim fucked around with this message at 14:51 on Oct 16, 2014 |
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Oct 16, 2014 14:49
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I was a good kid and never did anything to hurt anyone, it wasn't in my nature. The worst thing I did was probably getting lazy and not doing homework on occasion.
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Oct 16, 2014 16:06
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i said the n-word
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Oct 16, 2014 17:29
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I was really young and loved watching nature shows. My parents had dropped me off at a family friend's house to be babysat, who never minded because all she'd have to do is tune into Wild America or whatever and I'd be happy for hours. On that particular day I learned that the ocean had salt in it. And she had a big tank full of goldfish. So I decided to make them feel more at home by taking a salt shaker and emptying it into their water so it would be more like the ocean! I never fessed up about what I did, but I still feel a tiny bit guilty to this day. Sorry for killing all of your fish, nice lady!
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Oct 16, 2014 17:34
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you killed 50 cents worth of fish, way to go fucko
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Oct 16, 2014 17:38
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When I was five someone told me that if you cut a worm in half you got two worms. I went home and dug up a garden worm and cut it in half with a trowel and waited for them to grow and crawl away. When they stopped moving I realized they weren't going to be okay I'm sorry worms 
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Oct 17, 2014 02:33
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 The head part probably lived.http://www.livescience.com/38371-two-worms-worm-cut-in-half.html
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Oct 17, 2014 02:38
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Muttonchips posted:Used to think all chocolate was toxic. Very good to know. the only one that isn't toxic is white chocolate, you murdered that dog and you killed the gently caress out of that old lady too. drat son i didn't really do BAD bad poo poo as a kid, just boring bad poo poo. i did a lot DUMB poo poo in boarding school but it was more stupid than harmful to anyone but myself. prob the worst bad mundane thing i ever did was to my bro when we were like thirteen or so, he was into this girl who i knew from when we were little and i guess she liked him too because she asked me what kinda girls he liked. i told her he likes chicks with huge asses, like he told me he wanted j-lo's butt but twice as huge and convinced her that he was a huge freak. she always treated him badly after that and he was kinda bummed out then he died from unrelated causes. probably unrelated at least Fur20 fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Oct 17, 2014 |
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Oct 17, 2014 02:59
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I wrote "el Bepis" on the bathroom wall.
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Oct 17, 2014 03:02
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When I was seven years old I hated playing on the soccer team so instead of focusing on the game I trash talked an opposing player by calling him "breast cancer boy" repeatedly. I'm sorry
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Oct 17, 2014 03:14
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Cardiovorax posted:Bestiality wasn't a separate crime, but it was still illegal by reason of it being animal abuse. Don't judge all of Germany by my hosed-up childhood. please stop, you are bumming everyone out when i was six i put plastic handcuffs around my cat's neck and he started making choking sounds. i didn't know there was a release on them so i burst in on my mom while she was on the toilet and she had to fix it. a couple years later she closed the garage door on that cat's head, so we were even
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Oct 17, 2014 03:14
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I used to throw the cat around. She didn't like it. I'm sorry
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Oct 17, 2014 03:16
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BKPR posted:please stop, you are bumming everyone out
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Oct 17, 2014 13:35
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Cardiovorax posted:This is way too hilarious for me to stop any time soon. Sorry you aren't having any fun, though. Normally, people enjoy this story a lot. stop hanging round with pedophiles and you'll find that normal people don't normally enjoy that story
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Oct 17, 2014 13:38
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SirEvelynTremble posted:stop hanging round with pedophiles and you'll find that normal people don't normally enjoy that story
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Oct 17, 2014 14:24
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i found a snail when I was really little and brought it home to be my pet, had a Tupperware container for it and everything, and then i decided to share my saltine crackers with it because sharing is good Oops
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Oct 17, 2014 14:26
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Cardiovorax posted:I don't. I suppose it would be less funny to people who grew up being taught that teenagers having sex is literally the same as getting beaten up and hosed with a broom handle, though. You were molested.
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Oct 17, 2014 14:28
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I've never told anyone this, but once as a child I found a nest of baby mice in my grandmother's garage. They were so young that they were all still pink, and their eyes were just little black dots. I got a pair of scissors and cut all of their heads off. (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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Oct 17, 2014 14:30
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Dr. Spiderman posted:You were molested. steve cardigan posted:I've never told anyone this, but once as a child I found a nest of baby mice in my grandmother's garage. They were so young that they were all still pink, and their eyes were just little black dots. I got a pair of scissors and cut all of their heads off.
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Oct 17, 2014 14:40
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Cardiovorax posted:I don't. I suppose it would be less funny to people who grew up being taught that teenagers having sex is literally the same as getting beaten up and hosed with a broom handle, though. Cardiovorax posted:Not legally speaking. Nope nothing wrong with this fella here.
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Oct 17, 2014 14:41
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PCOS Bill posted:Nope nothing wrong with this fella here. 
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Oct 17, 2014 14:44
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Grew up to be me.
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Oct 17, 2014 14:44
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But at least I didn't grow up to be you.
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Oct 17, 2014 14:45
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I didn't know the difference between racism, racialism, and race realism.
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Oct 17, 2014 14:53
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Cardiovorax posted:I don't. I suppose it would be less funny to people who grew up being taught that teenagers having sex is literally the same as getting beaten up and hosed with a broom handle, though. You didn't have sex with a teenager though.
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Oct 17, 2014 15:01
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Keg posted:You didn't have sex with a teenager though.
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Oct 17, 2014 15:05
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I stole a toy for a friend from a pharmacy and got caught. Then I felt so guilty that I wrote them a "sorry" card out of looseleaf paper and taped a dime to it  In late Elementary school I spent a brief amount of time as a bully (ironic, because I was an ubernerd who got endlessly picked on in Junior/High School) and the shittiest thing I ever did was make a kid take a Claritin pill. He didn't need it and me and my friends just peer pressured him into taking it just to be a dick, thankfully Claritin isn't a hardcore pill and he probably didn't suffer any side effects except a temporary dry mouth. Still a retarded/dangerous thing to do though, and I feel bad about it to this day. Oh and the thing that made me swear off bullying forever at age 8 or so - there was this other weird kid who had extremely dry, scaly, creepy feeling hands (guessing eczema) and she once reached out to touch me and give me a hug, and I pushed her down into the bushes and made her cry.
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Oct 17, 2014 15:08
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