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 Andrew Jackson was the best president the USA has ever had. Here is a small list of his accomplishments: 1. Literally conquered Florida and drove out the Spanish. 2. Attacked and destroyed an English army despite the fact that the war we were fighting against them was over. 3. Stopped the civil war from happening in the 1830s by saying totally sweet things like "if one drop of blood be shed [in South Carolina] in defiance of the laws of the United States, I will hang the first man of them I can get my hands on to the first tree I can find." 4. Reduced the federal budget to its lowest level in history. 5. Not a big fan of Cherokee Indians.
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Oct 29, 2014 00:53
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6. Ended the Fed.
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Oct 29, 2014 00:54
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7. drank hard, lived hard
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Oct 29, 2014 00:55
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sure, if you're a white nerd
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Oct 29, 2014 00:56
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8. died with like 50 bullets in him
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Oct 29, 2014 00:56
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9. owned a lot of black people
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Oct 29, 2014 00:57
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Gaunab posted:sure, if you're a white nerd
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Oct 29, 2014 00:57
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10. Dead and gy
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Oct 29, 2014 00:57
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11. made a cannon from an alligator
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Oct 29, 2014 00:58
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Had he finished the job there would be no redskins controversy
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Oct 29, 2014 00:59
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12. Was the first president to have killed someone up close, and was the last to do so until Calvin Coolidge.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:01
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13. invented the cotton gin
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Oct 29, 2014 01:01
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14. Someone once accused Andrew Jackson of cheating on a bet so he straight up killed him in a duel
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Oct 29, 2014 01:02
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15. Was the first president to experiment with his sexuality.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:02
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16. was the first president to pardon a turkey
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Oct 29, 2014 01:03
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Oct 29, 2014 01:03
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17. Was the first president that wasn't an aristocrat
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Oct 29, 2014 01:03
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18. Tested the first laser pistol.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:04
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Oct 29, 2014 01:06
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"The bank, Mr. Van Buren, is trying to kill me, but I will kill it." - Andrew Jackson
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Oct 29, 2014 01:07
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19. allied with literal caribbean pirates to kill a shitload of british people
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Oct 29, 2014 01:07
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20. While technically not the first president to be silenced and replaced with a doppelganger, as this occurred after he had left office, he was still the first person targeted under Operation TRIPLET.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:12
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21. Killed a time traveler
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Oct 29, 2014 01:15
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Sheng-ji Yang posted:19. allied with literal caribbean pirates to kill a shitload of british people 22. Got scars after telling a british officer to suck a bag of dicks after being ordered to clean the guy's boots 
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Oct 29, 2014 01:15
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it's sad that society has pussified to the extent that senile old men demented by syphilis who attack people with a loving stick randomly during sudden bouts of rage do not rule over us anymore thank feminism.......
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Oct 29, 2014 01:17
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23. Attacked a place called "Negro Fort" in Florida
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Oct 29, 2014 01:18
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24. You forgot the part where a man tried to assassinate him with a double shot tiny pistol. Andrew Jackson death stared him down while the man fired two shots at him, both failing to actually shoot. He just continued to look at the man with disgust. E: He then proceeded to beat the man with his cane almost killing him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysK4aZljvo0 Al Borland fucked around with this message at 01:23 on Oct 29, 2014 |
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Oct 29, 2014 01:19
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Al Borland posted:24. You forgot the part where a man tried to assassinate him with a double shot tiny pistol. 25. Similarly, in a duel he let his opponent shoot first, tanked the bullet and then killed his opponent with his first shot.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:21
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Al Borland posted:24. You forgot the part where a man tried to assassinate him with a double shot tiny pistol. Afterwards, due to public curiosity concerning the double misfires, the pistols were tested and retested. Each time they performed perfectly. Many believed that Jackson had been protected by the same Providence that they believed also protected their young nation. The incident became a part of the Jacksonian mythos.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:21
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26. Washington, D.C. is named after President Jackson.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:22
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etalian posted:Afterwards, due to public curiosity concerning the double misfires, the pistols were tested and retested. Each time they performed perfectly. Many believed that Jackson had been protected by the same Providence that they believed also protected their young nation. The incident became a part of the Jacksonian mythos. I left out the part where he then proceeded to beat the motherfucker almost to death with his cane. That'd be #27
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Oct 29, 2014 01:24
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From a history book: ... A warrant was immediately issued for the arrest of Russel Bean. Word got to Sheriff Crouch that Bean was calmly sitting in front of his cabin with weapons about him and threatening to kill any man who would come near his cabin and try to take him. Crouch tried to get a posse of men together but no one dared go with him. Crouch went to Jackson to report on the situation. Jackson angrily ordered Crouch to "Summon every man in the court house to bring Bean in dead or alive." Sheriff Crouch responded "Then I summon your honor first!" Jackson called a recess of the court, grabbed a loaded pistol exclaiming, "By the Eternal, I'll bring him!” Crouch led Jackson out to Bean’s cabin. Jackson yelled to Bean "Surrender you infernal villain, this very instant, or I'll blow you through!" Terrified by the determined look and flashing eye of Jackson, Bean surrendered immediately without a struggle, and was taken into court. Bean would later explain that he could see that Jackson had the look of a man ready to kill.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:25
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Hot Dog Day #82 posted:3. Stopped the civil war from happening in the 1830s by saying totally sweet things like "if one drop of blood be shed [in South Carolina] in defiance of the laws of the United States, I will hang the first man of them I can get my hands on to the first tree I can find." yeah but then he appointed Taney to the SCOTUS
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Oct 29, 2014 01:25
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Hot Dog Day #82 posted:From a history book: Requesting photoshop of Andrew Jackson as the WH 40k emperor.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:27
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the song mrs. jackson is about him post-op
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Oct 29, 2014 01:27
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28. Jackson could not tell a lie unless he had a gun on his person. 29. Jackson invented "concealed carry".
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Oct 29, 2014 01:28
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30. Travelled the world by dirigible with his sentient teddy bear.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:29
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Contrary to popular opinion he was neither Old nor made of Hickory.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:30
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Cheorkee tried to fight for the confederacy so he was just planning for the eventual battle with disunionists by removing them to Oklahoma.
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Oct 29, 2014 01:30
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31. he gave himself smallpox so he could personally walk into cherokee villages to infect and kill them all
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Oct 29, 2014 01:30
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