why do americans buy so many pickups?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > why do americans buy so many pickups?

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Ramsus posted:

I have a truck and a jeep. I'm powerfully self sufficient.

The people I hate are the wives of men that drive their huge lifted trucks or giant SUVs that seat 8 but they are the only ones in it, while the man is commuting to work in a compact because gas. At least that's how I explain it to myself. Seriously, why are all the 35-50 year old women around here in massive trucks and SUV's by themselves and always in the way?

they own the penis in the relationship

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:22

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:22

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 8 days!)

Ramsus posted:

The people I hate are the wives of men that drive their huge lifted trucks or giant SUVs that seat 8 but they are the only ones in it, while the man is commuting to work in a compact because gas. At least that's how I explain it to myself. Seriously, why are all the 35-50 year old women around here in massive trucks and SUV's by themselves and always in the way?

large trucks are safer* than cars. same reason must hummer drivers were women.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:23

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

Wendigee posted:

I drive a 2011 Subaru WRX, hello ladies!

I saw a WRX (non STI) that had a wide body kit with the fattest tires i'd ever seen. It's cool being a car dork because you see that and instantly Know poo poo Is Legit compared to all the boring people in luxury cars and non M stock BMWs that I see everywhere

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:26

Ramsus: Sep 14, 2002; by Hand Knit

Also my truck rules because it's a 98 chevy 1500. The gas mileage is meh, but they are cheap as poo poo to buy, the parts are the cheapest around since they made the same truck from 88-98, and every parts place has what you need in stock. A brand new engine is $2,000 with a 3 year warranty for fucks sake. Not having a car payment and having cheap as gently caress replacement parts beats making a car payment every month. That fag on the first page with a $52k truck is a doofus. The whole idea of getting a brand new car that costs $25k+ to save a little more on gas isn't cost effective you buttholes.

Plus I look cool and can haul my dirt bikes/couch/gravel/whatever around.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:27

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Carol Pizzamom posted:

Ford Ranger guy: Is yours a thunderbolt? Those are pretty fast

Like I said most awesome performance trucks are modded that way, but ford has made a couple that come from the factory pretty beastly on pavement.

The Raptor is amazing but I'm never paying that much money for a loving truck.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:28

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Carol Pizzamom posted:

Ford Ranger guy: Is yours a thunderbolt? Those are pretty fast

Like I said most awesome performance trucks are modded that way, but ford has made a couple that come from the factory pretty beastly on pavement.

Nah it's a retired state vehicle, 06 ranger, regular cab, 4wd, 4L. Had a good history on it's maintenence (because it was state owned) and picked it up for about 75% of it's kbb in an auction haha.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:28

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

Ramsus posted:

Also my truck rules because it's a 98 chevy 1500. The gas mileage is meh, but they are cheap as poo poo to buy, the parts are the cheapest around since they made the same truck from 88-98, and every parts place has what you need in stock. A brand new engine is $2,000 with a 3 year warranty for fucks sake. Not having a car payment and having cheap as gently caress replacement parts beats making a car payment every month. That fag on the first page with a $52k truck is a doofus. The whole idea of getting a brand new car that costs $25k+ to save a little more on gas isn't cost effective you buttholes.

Plus I look cool and can haul my dirt bikes/couch/gravel/whatever around.

Used cars rule

I actually like trucks but I'd never buy one without a legitimate use for one

But I smile every time I see a beat up as hell truck clunking around with used junkyard parts and tools rattling in the bed and some dude leaning out the side like yisss

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:28

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Carol Pizzamom posted:

I saw a WRX (non STI) that had a wide body kit with the fattest tires i'd ever seen. It's cool being a car dork because you see that and instantly Know poo poo Is Legit compared to all the boring people in luxury cars and non M stock BMWs that I see everywhere

Seriously its a great car, I've had zero problems with it and its plenty fast. My previous car was a 97 civic and I hated trying to get on the highway with it.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:29

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

I think I'm gonna buy a new indian scout or a kawasaki mean streak motorcycle next.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:31

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

ArbitraryC posted:

Nah it's a retired state vehicle, 06 ranger, regular cab, 4wd, 4L. Had a good history on it's maintenence (because it was state owned) and picked it up for about 75% of it's kbb in an auction haha.

4 liters?? thats bigger than a lot of rangers

You should be able to beat some low powered sporty cars in straight lines, but those cars aren't intended to be raced in a straight line (they're made for windy fun stuff)

however, Cars.

also take it to an offroad thing and beat the poo poo out of it when its reaching its end

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:31

Bolow: Feb 27, 2007

I have a lovely 03 6 Cylinder Tundra and I frequently use the bed to move all kinds of poo poo around when I do yard work and stuff

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:33

Zippy the Bummer: Dec 14, 2008; Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES

i could actually use a truck. my last one cracked a head and got turned into a trailer which is useful but, it rides high and wobbles if i go over 45 and tries to kill me

i need something that can tow my overweight horse trailer that hauls like its made of solid cast iron...my poor rodeo is not up to the job and i dont want to replace the transmission again

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:34

Ramsus: Sep 14, 2002; by Hand Knit

Carol Pizzamom posted:

Used cars rule

I actually like trucks but I'd never buy one without a legitimate use for one

But I smile every time I see a beat up as hell truck clunking around with used junkyard parts and tools rattling in the bed and some dude leaning out the side like yisss

I like those too, unless they smoke really bad. It's the worst getting behind an old vehicle that is burning oil on a hot day in traffic. It gives me a nearly instant head ache.

cool guy truck not beat up (i'm the cool guy)

Also not lifted because I don't off road it and I actually put things in the bed.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:35

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

because he have so many things we need to haul around in the beds. also we are super rich

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:35

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

we americans have a lot of love to give OP. but we've been hurt before.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:36

Justin Tyme: Feb 22, 2011

why would someone buy a $50,000 truck (unless they, like, were a foreman or lived in Alaska and had a practical need for one) when you could buy a $50,000 Porsche, or Audi S-line, or any other fun cool sports/luxury car.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:36

Ramsus: Sep 14, 2002; by Hand Knit

Justin Tyme posted:

why would someone buy a $50,000 truck (unless they, like, were a foreman or lived in Alaska and had a practical need for one) when you could buy a $50,000 Porsche, or Audi S-line, or any other fun cool sports/luxury car.

It's the culture of the area. That's the status symbol. It's not about fun.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:37

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Carol Pizzamom posted:

4 liters?? thats bigger than a lot of rangers

You should be able to beat some low powered sporty cars in straight lines, but those cars aren't intended to be raced in a straight line (they're made for windy fun stuff)

however, Cars.

also take it to an offroad thing and beat the poo poo out of it when its reaching its end

Hahaha I was telling you I don't know much about cars but I do know when I floor it next to sportier looking sedans it's not even close. It handles pretty good on windy stuff with some good tires on it, I travel back and forth to seattle a lot which means many miles of two lane highways and I find I usually end up catching up to most people and passing them on windy parts because I don't like to go more than 10 over the limit but most people slow down a ton when they don't need to.

But yeah it's as souped up as a ranger can get. My bad though it is a supercab I was just having a dumb moment and thought there was a size that had full seats in back rather than the side seats but mine is the bigger of the two actual sizes.

ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Oct 31, 2014

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:38

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

I drive a Mini and wish there were more choices for small cars in this country. gently caress I can't haul refrigerators I guess I'm not a man.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:39

Fabulousity: Dec 29, 2008; Number One I order you to take a number two.

Get a F-350 King Ranch monster (or similar) and rig up a rope and pulley system so you can drive it from the bed of the truck. There you go, your pristine never-seen-any-work dick waver on four wheels is hauling something so the haters can't hate :fsmug:

Duck and Cover posted:

I drive a Mini and wish there were more choices for small cars in this country. gently caress I can't haul refrigerators I guess I'm not a man.

There's the Fiat 500L? You know, if you want a small car that kinda looks like a Mini that has a really bad case of gout.

Fabulousity fucked around with this message at 03:44 on Oct 31, 2014

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:40

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Turbos are awesome. (relatively fuel efficient, awesome speed, fun to drive) That is all.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:42

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

ArbitraryC posted:

Hahaha I was telling you I don't know much about cars but I do know when I floor it next to sportier looking sedans it's not even close. It handles pretty good on windy stuff with some good tires on it, I travel back and forth to seattle a lot which means many miles of two lane highways and I find I usually end up catching up to most people and passing them on windy parts because I don't like to go more than 10 over the limit but most people slow down a ton when they don't need to.

Unless your truck is modified or a special unlisted model the truth is that 0-60 and quarter mile times are very well documented, and the drivers that get the times do it multiple times to get the best time and are generally pretty good at it. So, likely what is happening is you are going full throttle and they're not, or you aren't dragging it out with serious sports cars. Like I said you should be faster than your average cars or roadster style sports cars, but even a new honda accord v6 coupe will win in a flat out.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:42

Coldstone Cream-my-pants: Jun 21, 2007

lol if you could drive a truck from the bed

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:45

LifeSizePotato: Mar 3, 2005

Wendigee posted:

Turbos are awesome. (relatively fuel efficient, awesome speed, fun to drive) That is all.

dat boost

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:47

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

I'm just going to post this here since were talkin about trucks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8diCoH7L04&t=1s

dude uses a special truck bed cover as a wing, I think.. I have no idea. the engine is over 10L

e: timestamp

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:47

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

i drive a pickup from my bed every night as i dream about owning a '97 f150 again

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:47

LifeSizePotato: Mar 3, 2005

my bed is shaped like a race car

p sw8

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:50

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Carol Pizzamom posted:

Like I said you should be faster than your average cars or roadster style sports cars, but even a new honda accord v6 coupe will win in a flat out.

Well yeah but how many of those do I see on a day to day basis? You have to also consider that most people aren't professional drivers. I pass cars that my truck should handle way worse than all the time on windy roads because some people are super timid about seeing how much faster than the recommended speed limit they can go.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:50

the culminator: Oct 29, 2012

If you could drive pickups from the bed i would buy one right now

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:54

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

ArbitraryC posted:

Well yeah but how many of those do I see on a day to day basis? You have to also consider that most people aren't professional drivers. I pass cars that my truck should handle way worse than all the time on windy roads because some people are super timid about seeing how much faster than the recommended speed limit they can go.

I'm not speaking to your driving ability, just that the truck isn't beating any corvettes. I like to poo poo talk in car threads

Also, I am worried you are endangering traffic. Please respect the lives and safety of others. God bless

# ? Oct 31, 2014 03:56

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Carol Pizzamom posted:

I'm not speaking to your driving ability, just that the truck isn't beating any corvettes. I like to poo poo talk in car threads

Also, I am worried you are endangering traffic. Please respect the lives and safety of others. God bless

Sorry I realized that was prolly unclear but I meant the turns that have recommended limits that are below the actual limit of the road, for ones that are like 50 on a 65 road I'll come out of it going 70 when they're doing 50 then pass them in an appropriate area to pass. I make the trip enough that I know where the road's going beforehand and plan accordingly for good but safe opportunities.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:00

Justin Tyme: Feb 22, 2011

ArbitraryC posted:

Well yeah but how many of those do I see on a day to day basis? You have to also consider that most people aren't professional drivers. I pass cars that my truck should handle way worse than all the time on windy roads because some people are super timid about seeing how much faster than the recommended speed limit they can go.

This is true for any car though if you've been driving it long enough to know how it behaves to a T. I can whip my 2000 Jeep Cherokee around most city traffic well enough that most people piss me off for not driving aggressive/fast enough. I don't have any misconceptions though because that <200 HP engine ain't gonna get me anywhere fast.

Really makes me want to get a sportscar but a Jeep is nondescript and very functional.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:04

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

get one of those huge rear end obnoxious superchargers that pop outta the hood like a tower of Gay Steel

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:05

R-Type: Oct 10, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

I am the owner of 2008 diesel F-350 and a 900 HP 2002 Ford Lightning (supercharged F-150). My carbon footprint makes bigfoot blush, and I'm proud. (PS Global warming is a liberal fag conspiracy and isn't real.)

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:08

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

R-Type posted:

900 HP 2002 Ford Lightning (supercharged F-150)

thas what im tolkein about

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:09

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

Pickups are OK when people actually use the bed of the truck regularly. It kinda annoys me when people buy them and never make use of the bed though.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:10

You Are A Werewolf: Apr 26, 2010; Black Gold!

Dick-waving contests, like so:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VciQjhgB66k

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:13

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Giant-rear end pickups the size of 3 of my car, parked in my downtown apartment parking deck. Sitting there, occupying 1.5 parking places, empty. Always empty. 10 to 20 of them, in this building where you will never need any heavy hauling. Shiny. Brand new. Pointless.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:14

neato burrito: Aug 25, 2002; bitch better have my chex mix

I have a Ranger. It's paid off and it rules. I'm financially secure so I use it to carry all my large purchases from the store. Suck it, poors.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:16

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:22

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Sephiroth_IRA posted:

Pickups are OK when people actually use the bed of the truck regularly. It kinda annoys me when people buy them and never make use of the bed though.

Gas mileage of your vehicle is generally less important than how close you live to stuff you regularly drive to. If you live within a couple miles of work and groceries and such it wouldn't really matter if you only got 10mpg you'd still be way more environmentally friendly than most people. For me, someone who only goes through like 1 tank of gas a month (if that) from work/play/errands, I'm still way better than a sedan that goes through 3 tanks because they're constantly driving 10-20 miles into an out of downtown or living in suburbs or whatever. Your mpg is way less important than just how much you need to use your car in general. If you plan appropriately and live close to places you commonly go then suddenly the utility you get from a truck makes a lot of sense for the tradeoff in mpg.

# ? Oct 31, 2014 04:17

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