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Desired AFC and NFC Championship Game participants? (Pick two per conference)
Arizona (NFC)
Baltimore (AFC)
Buffalo (AFC)
Carolina (NFC)
Cincinnati (AFC)
Cleveland (AFC)
Dallas (NFC)
Denver (AFC)
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Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

kalensc posted:

And just to be clear, there is no sane or logical reason for any Ravens fan to prefer Cincy tying Carolina over the Bengals losing, QED.
That is still the weirdest set of mental gymnastics I've ever seen on SA, and I'm an old LF veteran.

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Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

kalensc posted:

Since Cleveland is also 6-4, the 3-way tie-breaker is applied.

In Bal-Cle, Cle-Pit, Bal-Pit games (i.e. toss out Cincy results) the three teams are:

Bal: 2-1
Pit: 2-2
Cle: 1-2

Cleveland really needs to beat Baltimore latee this year if the three teams stay this close.

Pit will finish 2-4 in the division.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

kalensc posted:

What if one of them gets flexed to primetime?

Well I'm glad you asked.

1. I'm pretty sure one or both has been protected by CBS.
2. Prime-time Bengals are the worst team in league history, and the worse a team is the more likely it is to beat the Steelers.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer


Pack it in Obamailures, this is how the season ends.


The only leap of faith I made was that the Rams finish the job re: Rivers.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Shut up. I meant 15-1.

The Texans and Chiefs are the worst possible match-ups in the AFC for the Bengals, presuming people get and stay healthy. I'm hoping they somehow get a team that can't effectively run the ball. I'd feel waaaaay better somehow playing the Broncos at home in a playoff game.

Kawalimus posted:

However the Ravens will likely not be in the division race at the end of the season so it's moot. I predict the Steelers will win the division by a couple games.

The Steelers have as much chance of losing out as winning out in the remainder. Their Achilles heel has been an effective pass rush and good receivers. They play three teams with good receivers (ATL, CIN, NO) and one team with an extremely effective pass rush (KAN).


Also gently caress the Steelers.


I see them losing to the Saints and getting swept by the Bengals.

Eifert Posting fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Nov 20, 2014

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Of all the possible wild card teams I am least optimistic/worried with the Chargers. Rivers is banged up and he gets to play... The Rams.

Dude is going to look like a human schnitzel.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
I don't know the exact stats but they had like 5 sacks in the first 8 games and 18 in the last 3 or something crazy like that.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

JesusSinfulHands posted:

Rams, Redskins, Bucs, and Vikings all in the playoffs :getin:



If the Bengals lost to the Titans in the playoffs I would strongly consider suicide.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
If they really wanted to make things interesting by mucking around with playoff seeds, like they seem determined to, It'd be cool to have the 6 seeds be floating seeds. So let's say the NFC has a 10-6 and a 9-7, but the AFC has 3 10-6 teams. In that situation the lowest AFC 10-6 team plays in the NFC.


That way if, say, the NFC is stacked (like last year) a NFC team could possibly win the AFC championship. Imagine the 2013 Cardinals playing the Seahawks for a title or a -god forbid- Ravens vs Steelers game for all the marbles.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
If the 7th seeded team from one conference runs the table against the 3 seed, the 1 seed and the 2/4/5 seed then maybe the other conference shouldn't be lovely. :colbert:



I just don't want more total seeds.


If we're going nuts how about having the #5 seed claim the home field advantage if they have a two game lead on the division winner #4 seed. So if, let's say, the Lions finish the season as the #5 seed with a 9-7 record and the Falcons are the #4 seed with a 7-9 the Lions get to host.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
My method would give importance to winning it but also punish the truly woeful divisions.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

Sour Diesel posted:

That would dull some division rivalries, because even when a division is lovely they hatefuck each other until someone goes to the playoffs.

Then you laugh at the lovely division winner of your lovely division as they go one and done and get embarrassed because andy dalt

Do you expect me to disagree with this? The Bengals have gone to 5 playoff games since the merger. Collectively they've been outscored 71 to 13 in the second half. They have never scored more than 7 or allowed less than 10.

In the Marvin Lewis era the Bengals highest playoff game score was 17. The fewest points they've allowed is 19. That's right. If you took their best performance on offense (2005) and matched it against the fewest points they've allowed (2012) they would still lose by two.


Yes, their best postseason offense was led by Jon Kitna.



:smith:

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Realistically the Bengals need 3 of 5 to play in January. With how top heavy the AFC is I'm not confidant 9-6-1 will be good enough. Precluding a meltdown I don't see them dropping three of at TB, vs PIT, At CLE, vs DEN, at PIT. Pit and Denver are at the same level of play, but two are home games and the Bengals match up very well against Denver. They could win four or all five, but I'll feel much, much better if and when they don't poo poo the bed against the Buccaneers. If they have a let down in Tampa then they will be in a huge hole. If they can win those first two they'll have pretty much stamped their ticket.


Week 14 will decide the division. I expect Pittsburgh to win two of three against KC, ATL and NO. That said, I would really like the division to be secured before week 17. I'm OK with Pittsburgh trying to spoil our bye as a consolation for missing out again.


My playoff sim has the following records:
14-2
13-3
12-4
12-4
12-4
11-4-1
11-5
11-5
11-5
11-5
11-5
6-10

Eifert Posting fucked around with this message at 08:10 on Nov 24, 2014

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

axeil posted:

I'm not so sure I see 3 wins for the Bengals there. I'll give them TB and one of the Pitt games but that leaves the other Pitt game, @Cleveland and Denver. Those are all really tough games, especially since all three teams are fighting for playoff spots (or in Denver's case a bye). And I'm not even sure 10-5-1 will be enough. They might need 4 wins.

Denver is a great match up for us. The Bengals have had excellent play from their secondary and their safeties have been great. Manning is still Manning but he can't put velocity on the ball so that helps us. I'm not sold on their defense at all, and I doubt their running game will outproduce ours. I was less confidant about @HOU and @CLE.


It definitely is the toughest stretch of our season, though. Realistically if Tampa beats us we're hosed, though. It'd be time to start rooting for like 6 AFC teams to suddenly tank.

Eifert Posting fucked around with this message at 08:03 on Nov 24, 2014

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
A thirtygoddamnfour yard field goal. :smithicide:

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

ChickenMedium posted:

Did the Denver game get moved to 1:00pm Sunday and no one told me? Dalton will melt down and the Bengals are going to get embarrassed by the Broncos.

By that logic I'm OK with that because it means the Bengals will finish 11-4-1 and win their division comfortably.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

kalensc posted:


Cleveland Browns:For similar reasons they'll root for the Bengals to sweep the Steelers, since that would wreck Pittsburgh's divisional record and help the Browns in tie-breakers.


I find it offensive that you think Ohio teams need a reason to root against Pittsburgh. :colbert:

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Also the Bengals in 2009. They lost to the Jets when they clearly weren't trying in week 17. If the Bengals had won they would have played vs the Texans. I actually told my roommate (who was a Texans fan) "Man, the Bengals owe the Texans a berth, that was shameful."



I regretted that.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
I had like 4 days experience as a coxswain, but it seems like missing a pier isn't a tough thing to do. What the gently caress happened?

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
I have no faith in the Ravens sans-Jimmy. Webb is a good corner but the rest of the secondary is... Suspect.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
There is always a good reason to watch this.


I loving love Ray Lewis even though he's a division rival, monumental hypocrite and probably an accomplice to murder. I honestly don't know why.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Bengals need two of four. Let's. Go. The Bengals.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
I want this next one sooooo bad. Hopefully Andy continues his career trend of savaging bad secondaries.








Edit: Dalton is 12-3-1 against the NFC. All they need to do is get to that Superbowl.

Tie: Carolina
Losses: Chicago, Dallas, San Fransisco
Wins: Arizona, Atlanta, DC, Detroit, Green Bay, Minnesota, New Orleens, NYC, Philadelphia, Seattle, St. Louis, Tampa

( :v: )

Eifert Posting fucked around with this message at 04:26 on Dec 4, 2014

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

Big Ol Marsh Pussy posted:

What week 17 win-and-in games potentially exist that might stop the dumbass NFL from flexing the potential win-and-in Bengals/Steelers game to primetime because that would be the absolute worst

I think CBS protected it.

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Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Dark days.

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