wtf coworker found my piss bottle and says hes going to report me to HR

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > wtf coworker found my piss bottle and says hes going to report me to HR

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Ghaz: Nov 19, 2004

tbh could definitely be iced tea, you need to eat more protein and fat and get a richer, stinkier piss going op. HR is gonna be mad but I'm just disappointed

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:17

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:02

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

op should drink what's in the bottle

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:17

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Nonsense posted:

still not as good as the girl who found her goon boyfriend's jizz bottle

That was some good poo poo.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:18

jalopybrown: Oct 11, 2012

try drinking some fricking water idiot, that is not a healthy urine colour and clear hydrated piss would pass as water.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:21

Pitdragon: Jan 20, 2004; Just another lurker

City of Tampa posted:

Tell HR that it's actually your co-worker's piss bottle, and that when you voiced your objection to it your co-worker said that he/she would lie to HR to get you in trouble.

You also might want to hurry up and piss in another bottle and stash it near your co-worker's desk so you can point it out to HR. loving snitch deserves to be unemployed.

this is the obvious solution OP. the second piss bottle is an especially nice touch.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:22

Spandex Bonerlord: Sep 30, 2014

gently caress it, just murder your coworker op. Do you want to keep your job or not?

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:24

Izumi Konata: May 4, 2012; by Ralp

Hungry Joe posted:

Jiggled again

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:25

Unknowable Hole: Feb 2, 2005; Pillbug

Tell HR that you don't feel comfortable using a bathroom at work until they have one for Otherkin.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:26

Kosher Pickup Line: Jan 10, 2008; Hair Elf

lmbo what would you have done if the bottle filled up and you were still pissing?

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:29

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

Good color in that piss. Way to get your daily vitamins and nutrients OP

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:31

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

also not the same as the goon who tried to insanely justify his piss bottling in the middle of the night. "I just don't wanna get up, I'm really clean about it" he says, as he jams the tip of his dick into the bottle and it sprays all over the inside of it.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:31

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

i dont know why people use bottles. I used to just use an empty milk gallon jug. Holds more pee and a bigger hole to piss into.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:34

Stick Figure Mafia: Dec 11, 2004

Spanish Manlove posted:

op should drink what's in the bottle

Op should drink the piss. It'd be really funny. He should drink it and film it and maybe spill some on himself. That'd be funny haha. Like not sexual just funny hahah please do this op. for laughs.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:35

Hexel: Nov 18, 2011

Did you know that if you piss out your window frequently it will cause the grass to become discolored?

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:36

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Stick Figure Mafia posted:

Op should drink the piss. It'd be really funny. He should drink it and film it and maybe spill some on himself. That'd be funny haha. Like not sexual just funny hahah please do this op. for laughs.

mod challenge: pour the bottle's contents on your face you dirty, dirty boy

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:36

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

ban opeepee

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:36

Panamaniac: Jun 18, 2007; HEROES NEVER DIE

Tell him you were saving it for your next drug test.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wskkg7rXMkA

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:41

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

No More Heroes posted:

Did you know that if you piss out your window frequently it will cause the grass to become discolored?

Oh yeah?

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:47

Gunky Junket: Oct 30, 2014; by Ralp

Spanish Manlove posted:

op should drink what's in the bottle

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:51

Mc Do Well: Aug 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOcqF-owWe8&t=45s

# ? Nov 12, 2014 21:51

Manifest: Jul 7, 2007; HELLO THERE I COME FROM THE FUTURE

Spanish Manlove posted:

op should drink what's in the bottle

MOD CHALLENGE

# ? Nov 12, 2014 22:17

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

What surprisingly frothy urine

# ? Nov 12, 2014 22:19

toxicitysquared: Nov 12, 2007; Jiggled Again

1. i obviously got rid of the piss bottle once i found out i was being reported

2. that pic was taken right after i had a nice fresh piss in there. last time i checked apple juice wasnt steamy and frothy

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Nov 12, 2014 22:20

toxicitysquared: Nov 12, 2007; Jiggled Again

jalopybrown posted:

try drinking some fricking water idiot, that is not a healthy urine colour and clear hydrated piss would pass as water.

i take a multi daily so my piss will be yellow no matter how much water i drink, i drink at least 3L a day

# ? Nov 12, 2014 22:22

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

Spanish Manlove posted:

op should drink what's in the bottle

Drink it for your health OP

quote:

Auto-urine therapy, or urotherapy as it is sometimes known, dates back to several ancient cultures and even, arguably, the Bible. Egyptian medical texts and Chinese and Indian documents mention the benefits of drinking one's urine, while the Aztecs used it to disinfect wounds.

Contrary to popular perception, urine is not a by-product of the body's waste disposal system but of blood filtration. Nutrient-filled blood passes through the liver, where toxins are removed and excreted as solid waste. The purified blood then goes through another filtering process via the kidneys, where components for which the body has no immediate use are collected in a sterile, watery solution. For that reason, it is highly sterile, consisting of 95 per cent water and five per cent nutrients, including vitamins, minerals, proteins, antibodies and other beneficial ingredients.

Advocates of auto-urine therapy believe that this combination can help cure everything from the common cold to cancer, boosting energy levels and sexual performance along the way. While the practice has always been popular in China, India and South-east Asia, a small but growing band of Western fans are also downing a daily dose. Books with titles such as The Golden Fountain all extol the virtues of urine.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/urine-the-bodys-own-health-drink-467303.html

# ? Nov 12, 2014 22:25

ArtIsResistance: May 19, 2007; QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX

dammit ray you cant be leaving your piss jugs everywhere

# ? Nov 12, 2014 23:32

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

jigglemaster7 posted:

i take a multi daily so my piss will be yellow no matter how much water i drink, i drink at least 3L a day

i do the same and my pee is clear and in the potty where it belongs

# ? Nov 12, 2014 23:35

Absalom Baird: Jul 13, 2010

If the piss is chugged, you can't be judged

# ? Nov 12, 2014 23:48

SpeedGem: Sep 19, 2012; by Ralp

You should have used the empty water cooler bottle, and when the man comes to get it, tell him a mule peed in it.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 23:50

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Absalom Baird posted:

If the piss is chugged, you can't be judged

I'm not sure that is entirely true

# ? Nov 12, 2014 23:51

Izumi Konata: May 4, 2012; by Ralp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DcA0p8Tvnk

# ? Nov 12, 2014 23:53

SpeedGem: Sep 19, 2012; by Ralp

Also, truckers are to blame for the piss bottle menace at the sides of highways. Is it hard to keep a piss bottle or you just throw it out your window in your hobo shack on wheels?

# ? Nov 12, 2014 23:55