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In this thread we will all write one-paragraph reviews for polygon dot com "The gameplay was solid, the platforming engaging and the sense of exploration was really rewarding and fluid, but a fat Italian stereotype is culturally insensitive and misrepresents European immigrants, participating in a culture of oppression that has persisted for centuries, so I give it a 6." --Super Mario Bros "The mechanics were great and the storyline engaging, gritty and unique for its genre. The customization options were stellar, the magical effects and graphical tricks were historical precedents and the music was out of this world. However, it suffers from having a single black father succumbing to the stereotypes of swearing, violence and he's absent from his daughter's life, perpetuating damaging stereotypes that hurt the black community. I also feel it is disrespectful to Furries by having the only representation of the subculture turn traitor. 5/10." --Final Fantasy VII "The gunplay had a puzzle-like element to it that rewarded accurate shooting and quick aiming. The control scheme was both classic and refined, the graphics presented the action cleanly and the monster designs were excellent, especially the enemy A.I. However, it is brought down by having a damsel in distress that is central to its story, thus relegating once again the woman's role to be saved by a man, and spoiler alert she even offers him sex as a reward. 4/10." Resident Evil 4.
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Nov 12, 2014 23:57
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Porygon cost too much so I never bought it in Pokémon.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:00
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Haha amazing. Are you Arthur Gies? I remember on a podcasts someone mention his GF and he said "I don't call her that" and the guy goes "what" and he's like "she's not a girl" She's a woman! Get it because not all women are girls!
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Nov 13, 2014 00:02
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well you see the good thing about the xbox one is ... ... we give it a solid 9/10
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Nov 13, 2014 00:04
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its got 3 sides, representing the nonbinary gender structure of people. it also reminds me of a dick head, so its sexist. 6/10
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Nov 13, 2014 00:05
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Why do you people read polygon so much?
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Nov 13, 2014 00:06
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fart piss poo poo cock butt 11/10 hire me you fucks
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Nov 13, 2014 00:07
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Sex Bumbo posted:Why do you people read polygon so much? I once clicked a polygon link once and now when I click p for porn in my chrome browser window it makes polygon come up first and it's really annoying this is real life
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Nov 13, 2014 00:08
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BottledBodhisvata posted:I once clicked a polygon link once and now when I click p for porn in my chrome browser window it makes polygon come up first and it's really annoying I'm really sorry to hear that.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:08
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I'm not going to do that op
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Nov 13, 2014 00:09
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Prorat posted:Haha amazing. Are you Arthur Gies? Are you sure you weren't reading e/not a post by tiny brontosaurus ?
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Nov 13, 2014 00:10
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hi im a bitchmade fuckboy and i spend all day reading about video games *sips pee out of gallon jug of pee through a coffee stirrer*
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Nov 13, 2014 00:11
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ilikedirt posted:hi im a bitchmade fuckboy and i spend all day reading about video games *sips pee out of gallon jug of pee through a coffee stirrer* he's drinking pee
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Nov 13, 2014 00:12
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1
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Nov 13, 2014 00:13
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What's up , this is a trap thread and all of you are the least likeable people in a forum of unlikable people. Tricked ya. Ok peace out.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:15
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A bossoon blowing a frock wearing jackalope. 8/10
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Nov 13, 2014 00:16
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ilikedirt posted:hi im a bitchmade fuckboy and i spend all day reading about video games *sips pee out of gallon jug of pee through a coffee stirrer*
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Nov 13, 2014 00:17
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The best WW2 game ever created, unfortunately during the beach invasion the game creators don't point out that the German soldiers were just following orders. 2.5/10
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Nov 13, 2014 00:18
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Repetitive and unresponsive gameplay, uninspired design, boring narrative. Normally we'd give this 9 out of 10 because we don't want the publisher to stop giving us review copies of their games far enough in advance for us to publish a review of the game before it hits the shelves, but because the amount of attention paid to the twelve year girl's rear end would make anyone who understands the concept of shame embarrassed to play this game in front of anyone, ever, we're going to give it 8.75 instead. [correction: owing to the political nature of this article, we have fired the reviewer and given "They're actually 600 year old demons they just look like they're 12" a score of 9/10]
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Nov 13, 2014 00:19
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750000 dollars xbox mt dew all games the best.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:20
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polygon advocates social justice and I think these brutal jokes are in reference to that
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Nov 13, 2014 00:22
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Polygon gave simcity 5 a 9.5 rating, before it was adjusted.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:23
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Cucking Mama posted:polygon advocates social justice and I think these brutal jokes are in reference to that http://www.polygon.com/2014/6/4/5720864/tropico-5-review-wasted-away-again
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Nov 13, 2014 00:25
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Despite the controversy driven up by sexist racists who were challenged by the fact that you're essentially paying full retail price for a 12 minute Pizza Hut commercial that only has a 20% chance of loading, those who are truly right-thinking will be blown away by a another beyond perfect game from Microsoft Studios! 11.5/10 Microsoft® Pizza Hut® Crusty Challenge® for Windows® Xbox® for Zunegroups™ was reviewed using a quarter of a million dollars provided by Microsoft Studios. You can find additional information about Polygon's ethics policy here. chaosbreather fucked around with this message at 00:32 on Nov 13, 2014 |
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Nov 13, 2014 00:29
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SpeedGem posted:Polygon gave simcity 5 a 9.5 rating, until EA's check cleared.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:30
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I give the Chex cereal video game a 9 out of 10
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Nov 13, 2014 00:32
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SpeedGem posted:Polygon gave simcity 5 a 9.5 rating, before it was adjusted. I give it a 10. Cum at me bro.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:34
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BottledBodhisvata posted:http://www.polygon.com/2014/6/4/5720864/tropico-5-review-wasted-away-again Huh. Game actually sounds p. fun
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Nov 13, 2014 00:34
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nice
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Nov 13, 2014 00:35
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QUEEN CAUCUS posted:I give the Chex cereal video game a 9 out of 10 oh wow there really is a chex cereal game and it's a doom clone lol have you ever played it
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Nov 13, 2014 00:37
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This masterful platformer has that great traditional feel along with some new elements never yet seen. Unfortunately it goes against science and caters to the religious right by implying dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time. Super Mario Word 4/10
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Nov 13, 2014 00:41
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Vorik posted:oh wow there really is a chex cereal game and it's a doom clone lol Uh yeah, 9 out of 10 would have been 10 out of 10 but didn't approve of chex man being sexualized the way he was
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Nov 13, 2014 00:42
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I love cum - 10/10
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Nov 13, 2014 00:42
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my womanfriend.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:45
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Your Dead Gay Son posted:my womanfriend. I don't have an issue with the editors using Polygon as a platform for social critique in games. But lol forever at them taking tons of money from Microsoft and pretending they don't have the stink of impropriety with every article they publish.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:50
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A challenging beginning chock full of false starts, I strained to continue but eventually the mechanics clicked and the finish was fluid, supple as soft served ice cream - My poo poo this morning 9/10 would poop again
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Nov 13, 2014 00:51
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mango sentinel posted:But lol forever at them taking tons of money from Microsoft and pretending they don't have the stink of impropriety with every article they publish. No joke I'm seething with jealousy about not getting in on this.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:52
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All games that are good require dlc thee days, the solution, don't buy them. go to GoG.com and buy real games. Not this bug ridden mess you come to expect.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:54
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Tonsured posted:A challenging beginning chock full of false starts, I strained to continue but eventually the mechanics clicked and the finish was fluid, supple as soft served ice cream - My poo poo this morning 9/10 would poop again
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Nov 13, 2014 00:56
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my slavefriend
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Nov 13, 2014 00:58
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