Vasudus posted:

You don't seem to get the fact that when you're "happy" it's actually sitting on the edge of a financial cliff. Being poor loving sucks - enjoy having anxiety about paying bills, or hoping that whatever hurts today won't hurt tomorrow. Enjoy never being able to go on a vacation to somewhere that's actually nice. Enjoy having a car that burns oil faster than gas because you can't shell out the cash to get a new one. But it's totally cool man, you're doing something you love.

What you still don't seem to get is that you don't have to make lots of money to be happy. But you need to make some, and that some is more than you'll probably ever make writing. Because writing is a trap that dumb idiot fuckers like you fall into. You're not talented enough to make even a decent living wage off it, and I can say that with some pretty high confidence because the numbers are against you. You'll never make the next great american novel, and you're probably not likely to even make a living selling Kindle smut for 99 cents. Your best hope is to be a half rate, blog/Tumblr D-lister pulling 56 dollars a month off adsense revenue churning out titles like the classic "Taken by the T-Rex" or making niche incest porn stories.

You're spending time, effort and money taking classes in a dead major (Rhetoric) and a major that exists to teach children (English). When your GI Bill runs out you are hosed. That fucker is your main source of income and it will end. You know how much money you get taking 100% loans for grad school? You get around 6k a semester. Six thousand dollars to live for four and a half months. Then you'll have your MFA or whatever the gently caress stupid degree you think is the golden ticket and then you'll be told you're overqualified for entry jobs.

So I guess congratulations on squandering the one loving chance that you as a veteran have to actually climb the social class ladder by having the government pay someone to tell you to read some books. YOU CAN DO THAT ON YOUR OWN loving TIME YOU INCREDIBLY STUPID gently caress. If you love that bullshit so much DO IT AS A MINOR FOR YOUR ELECTIVES.

Oh gently caress it, you're a dumb loving oval office. Keep doing what you're doing.

holocaust bloopers posted:

We're not steam friends any more.

Mr. Nice! posted:

Suck my dick from the back.

Mr. Nice! posted:

Suck my dick from the back.

Obama Africanus posted:

Aw shucks, can't empty quote my cucks.

justice4trayvawn posted:

didn't you shoot up a library young man

Godholio posted:

Bucs

Illegal Carrot posted:

grover

Illegal Carrot posted:

grover

Illegal Carrot posted:

grover

Fart Sandwiches posted:

Someone has to have that rant in response to an Air Force Intel officer (soon to be?) wanting to get married. That poo poo was spot on.

Obama Africanus posted:

Go ask the career development folks at the MPF. Also pimp the TMO folks and ask them.

The final answer comes from one of those two sources. And in the end you have a 50/50 chance of being told the wrong thing anyway.

But you asked for thoughts, and after smoking a bowl and contemplating things, I had a thought I'd like to share with you.

Have you considered not marrying your fiancee?

I can count on one finger the number of guys that were USAF intel officers that I wouldn't line up outside the gas chambers if the fourth reich became a thing.

A few years from now, when you can't even stand to look at him without feeling a sense of extreme hatred and disappointment simultaneous to realizing that at 28 years old you spend 50% of your day thinking about becoming a divorcee, remember this advice: Run the gently caress away now.

Seriously, there is a 100% chance your fiancee is a tool and a loving nitwit. There is a 100% chance that he will be peer pressured into becoming a distilled version of fighter pilot gay bro'ness not by dudes that fly fighter jets, but other sperged out intel retard officers. He's going to start saying things like "Check, Rodge, Vector, Burner" and other associated lame as gently caress things, while also sometimes randomly wearing a flightsuit to work on Fridays despite his only flight time being the fam flight he poo poo his pants or puked his guts up during.

Also he's going to cheat on you. Oh man is he going to cheat on you. And there is a not too bad chance that it won't be with some good looking gal, but rather some dumb bitch enlisted intel girl that almost got a degree in psychology from her podunk state school before she decided she hated the taste of gargling frat sperm and dropped out and joined up to get a chance at being the hottest little twat in a windowless SCIF in Japan.

But don't worry about that breaking your heart, he'll never tell you. You'll be too busy caring for the 3-4 kids he demands you squeeze out in repayment to the base model BMW 3 series he's going to buy you when he gets to his second assignment at Tinker AFB.

When he's not deep dicking some borderline inbred dipshit Airman who's a civilian 5 and intel 12, he'll be lording over you how his job and career come first, and pray he doesn't make more money than you because that'll come up everytime you sigh audibly at the dinner table where you two will passive aggressively try to grind down each others will to live and breathe.

By this point as a captain he's going to be TDY 1-2 months a year, where he's getting half assed hand jobs from third tier strippers on excursions with the least socially inept enlisted guys in his flight-- this is probably the point where his raging alcoholism will be so clear and obvious to you that you two will start fighting every saturday before kick off when his colleges football team inevitably will take a beating. This fight won't stop until his next TDY when the sweet release of his toothless stripper infidelities and lack of home presence gives you time to bust out your big giant purple *BZZZZZ* friend whenever those walking talking pants making GBS threads machines you call children fall asleep long enough to let you deaden the nerves in your clitoris.

Soon after he'll take his third assignment, the one right before he pins on Major, and suddenly he'll be pressuring you into becoming a fundamentalist christian, and he'll delete all of his whores off of his facebook account and spend his home time posting image macros about 2nd amendment rights, and how jesus spoke english in the bible so these loving mexicans should too. At this point you two will be consigned to bi-annual loving, and only when you've drank enough cheap boxed wind to be able to stand the idea of him pounding away on you missionary style but still refusing to look you in the eyes.

This will also be the point when your oldest childs ADHD and pyromania are diagnosed, and one of your parents die. There is around a 85% chance one of you is going to be eating zoloft and klonopin out of loving pez dispensers, and waking up angry that the sweet release of death hasn't taken one of you out of this loveless hosed up marriage.

Somewhere in here the idea of swinging is going to come up casually as an almost joke when you are both in the blissful release of a nice drunken buzz, and one of you will actually be very open and interested in the idea. The other is going to wind up being an unhappy accomplice wondering why your partner wants to gently caress almost chubby guys with spray on tans, or watch the sacred hole through which your children came into this world be filled with all manner of different ethnicities of cock.

I'm late to bring this up, but sooner rather than later you're also going to screen positive for HPV, and your intel officer husband is going to take every bit of research skills he has from his job to convince you that you got it from donating blood or sitting on a toilet seat.

You didn't get it from the Red Cross or a trip to the shitter.

As it stands now though, you can walk the gently caress away and enjoy a life that I'm pretty sure would be better than the above. And you'll never have to see the inside of an officers wives meeting which is a lovecraftian hell that makes my description of your future seem like Charlie's trip through the chocolate factory.

Terrible Robot posted:

Didn't the dude's marriage/life basically start going exactly the way Shim said it would, too?

Spicy Guacamole posted:

They got married.

Spicy Guacamole posted:

They got married.

Obama Africanus posted:

Any way we can get a full update? She get the HPV vax? Or did she get the worst std of all: children?

Godholio posted:

Every STD talks. They all say "Guess who used to put out!"

Godholio posted:

Every STD talks. They all say "I [STATE YOUR NAME] Do Solemnly Swear or Affirm to"

Spicy Guacamole posted:

Mr. Nice! posted:

Suck my dick from the back.

The Rat posted:

I still don't understand what this means.