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Tell us your TRUE stories of getting back at those bullys with sick owns, beatdowns, and hilariously one-sided victorys. I'll start: One day in middle school, I was minding my own business playing Pokemon Ruby when Big Phil, a fat bully with a boxer for a dad who was supposed to be in high school, started messing with me and my friends. I was like "do what you want to me Big Pharma, but when you mess with my friends, it's on!!!" & he didn't listen to me and messed with them anyway, and broke my Pokemon Ruby. I just looked down at the ground and laughed, keeping my cool the whole time. "Heheh... now you've done it... you don't know who your messing with do you..." He put on his stupid fat pizzaface smirk and smashed one meaty fist into the other. "A wimp, duh, you watch those chinese cartoons1" I looked up with a glint of murder in my eye, and he swung his fist at me! But he was so oafish and clumsy, all I had to do was tilt my head to one side to dodge. A crowd had gathered......... "They're japanese actually, and they're superior to american cartoons..." I pushed my glasses up, man I was so cool. He wasn't breaking a sweat yet, but something was about to be broken.................... as he took his next strike, I swept my leg and knocked him off his feet, face-first onto my fist!!! & then I kicked my leg up and shouted "DRAGON ATTACK!!!" and broke all of his teeth at the same time! But I wasn't done with him yet! The crowd was already dumbstruck, and I could hear whispers of my inhuman abilities as I'd leapt 20 feet into the air, and gave the bully my signature whirlwind attack!!!! I managed to kick the fat sack of poo poo right thru the window of the 3rd floor, into Mr. Terwilliger's class, my least favourite teacher. Unfortunately getting hit with 280 pounds of pizzafaced bully turned him into gibs, oh well. I landed and made a small crater in the dirt, but brushed myself off like nothing happened. "Heh, I told him not to mess with the power of friendship." & the hottest blonde girl on the cheerleading team gave me a kiss. We've been married for 6 months today!
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Nov 23, 2014 14:31
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 12:30 |
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Noyemi K posted:the hottest blonde girl on the cheerleading team gave me a kiss. We've been married for 6 months today! Does she know you're gay?
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Nov 23, 2014 14:36
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fist4jesus posted:Does she know you're gay? man your a troller, sorry i don't talk to trollers  but no, she doesn't 
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Nov 23, 2014 14:38
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i miss big phil
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Nov 23, 2014 14:40
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I can't quite put my finger on it, I'm not sure what it is, but something tells me you've got an arse-load of bully stories to tell.
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Nov 23, 2014 14:45
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O-oh yeah? Today you might be the big popular jock but in 20 years you'll be working at McDonalds while I will be a mentally ill autistic person on disability posting about anime!
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Nov 23, 2014 14:48
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I was getting cyber bullied and i copy pasted a sick your momma joke at the guy. I get most of my material from here; http://www.jokes4us.com/yomamajokes/ feel free to use it guys and stay safe from cyber bullies!!!
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Nov 23, 2014 14:52
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here is an example of ownage Yo mommas so dirty she brings crabs to the beach thats just for laughs
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Nov 23, 2014 14:53
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One time Big Phils dad tried to get me back after I used his son to gib Mr. Terwilliger I just said "your not worth my time, and besides no human can withstand the dragon attack without serious injury.. why dont you go play at zilker park with all the other little kids" he just fumed and left, lmbo what a coward
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Nov 23, 2014 15:05
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he sounds more like a little phil to me!
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Nov 23, 2014 15:07
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This played that afternoon when I beat Phil up, the whole town heard it. also when I dragon kicked him, all his clothes blew off and all the cheerleaders saw his micropenis, lol guess hes the real nerd!
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Nov 23, 2014 15:13
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He sounds more like lucky Phil to me! He deffo woulda got his poo poo tore up if he'd stuck around.
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Nov 23, 2014 15:13
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When the first pokemon games came out, they were crazy popular and a ton of people would have pokemon battles at my school. There were two types of matches. The first one was your standard set where everyone fought for fun. The second was "playing for keeps" where the winner could choose any pokemon the loser used and keep it. Naturally these were pretty rare and people tended to stick to using a B team that they didn't mind losing. So an all out hardcore match with the best pokemon on the line was a pretty big deal. Now there were these two kids that hated each other. Brad was the local "rich kid" and kind of an rear end in a top hat, while Kyle was your more traditional nerd that was nice enough but kind of annoying since he took the games a little too seriously. To make a long story short they have this big hyped up match with their best pokemon. Everyone watched Brad completely crush Kyle. It turned out that Brad had 2 gameboys, both versions of the game and was using a team of multiple Mewtwo's (the most powerful pokemon in the game and impossible to get more than one except by trading). Kyle is pissed but goes through with the trade and gives away his high level charazard. In pokemon you can't just give a free trade. Both players have to give a pokemon. In exchange for Kyle's favorite pokemon, Brad gave him a low level rattata. The real kicker though was that he took the time to give it the nickname "KyleSux." Kyle takes this really badly and freaks out. He starts screaming and swearing at Brad and rips the cord out of the gameboy, but the trade has already been made and he ends up storming out while we all laugh at his outburst. Kyle just stops playing pokemon with people after that. We figured that was the end of it until he pops up like a month later and challenges Brad to a rematch. Everyone gathers around in anticipation of another giant freak out, but Kyle isn't going down easy this time. Turns out he basically spent a month building a team that was engineered to defeat Brad. Not just beat him but annoy him. We all tended to just choose the hardest hitting moves we could get, but Kyle had a team of insect types that were resistant to psychic damage and specialized in making their opponents slow down, miss more, fall asleep etc. It was hilarious to watch. Brad would send out a psychic death machine and Kyle would send out a caterpillar. Then we'd all laugh as he missed 50% of the time while getting his health chipped away. Brad wasn't losing by much but as the battle dragged on he was clearly getting more and more annoyed at every missed attack and lost turn. Finally Brad was down to his last pokemon, a badly wounded Mewtwo that was out of it's most powerful attacks. Brad managed to score a hit and force Kyle to use his last pokemon, a level 99 Raticate named "KyleSux." KyleSux finished the fight in one hit and I've never seen anyone look more smug than Kyle when he did it.
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Nov 23, 2014 15:26
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One time a bully hurt his hand while he was beating me.
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Nov 23, 2014 15:26
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I said "well I AM a communist and YO're a bourgeois war criminal" and then everyone stood up and clapped because of how moral I am
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Nov 23, 2014 15:28
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rip big phil
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Nov 23, 2014 16:21
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when i was like 10, a group of older boys at summer day camp bullied me. one day, the leader threw me into a school desk, which caused the desk to flip over, and I landed on my hard on my head. i lost it. i grabbed a #2 pencil that was next to me on the floor, got up, ran at him, and with a mighty thrust plunged the pencil into the side of his neck. he ran out of the room screaming with the pencil still in his neck. that was the last time they hosed with me that summer. ----------------
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Nov 23, 2014 16:25
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Funny story! I was at Planet Fitness the other night, doing my reps as usual. It was pizza night. A young, thin, blonde woman can’ying a plate loaded with pizza walked over and struck a pose in front Of me. It was clear that she had targeted me for some cruel words due to my weight. “Oooh, the pizza’s so-oooo good today!” she exclaimed, trying to get a rise out of me. She threw back her head, downing whole slices and making orgasmic noises with each bite. After fifteen minutes or so, I’d had enough. “Excuse me. I’m glad you are enjoying your Italian cheese-and-tomato bread, but your little porno noises are greatly distracting to all.” “Ooooh, I understand. The sight of me-eee must be horribly depressing for you.” she snickered. “I eat whatever I want, Whenever I want, and don’t lift a finger all day, and I’m a real-life Barbie doll. YOU work your rear end off, eat almost nothing, and look like wet garbage. Must suck, eh, lady?” She was so evil, I couldn’t help but giggle. Her eyes went wide in shock. I had denied her the anger she so craved. "What, my dear, makes you think I’m working out because I want to look like you?” I asked. “I work out because I like it. I eat little because I’m not hungry. I weigh more than you because of my genes. And that is okay. I’m okay, you’re okay. I’ll be me, and you’ll be you. That is life." “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” a male voice rang out. I looked across the room, where a mustachioed man standing behind the vending machine was applauding my effort. Skinny girl looked to be five seconds from a heart attack. "You fat fucks always stick together!" she screamed. “Fat fucks?” he chuckled as he stepped out from behind the vending machine, revealing his slim, cut physique. We both trembled at the sight of him. I played it cool, but Skinny broke into a lusty sweat. “Sir, I apologize!” she backpedalled. “I’d be happy to make it up to you! Perhaps in the handicapped changing room?” He laughed. “Miss, no offense, but I’d kindly suggest you tie those pigtails of yours to a car bumper and ride your implants half way to Canada.” He walked straight past her and bowed to me. “Ma’am, will you accompany me to the pizza party?” he asked. "As soon as I finish my reps, I would be charmed.” I said.
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Nov 23, 2014 16:51
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Beef Turret posted:When the first pokemon games came out, they were crazy popular and a ton of people would have pokemon battles at my school. There were two types of matches. The first one was your standard set where everyone fought for fun. Nobody got their rear end kicked, 0/100, try again, F
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Nov 23, 2014 16:55
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i just show them my gamerscore 
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Nov 23, 2014 17:02
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One time I was walking home and a bully and his friends stopped me and told me to smoke a joint. I said, "no way man! Only losers do drugs." Then strutted away, leaving him with egg all over his face. He then had a moment of quiet reflection, and chose to turn his life around. That man was Albert Einstein.
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Nov 23, 2014 17:19
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I got called a rethuglican several times but I owned my bully by continuing to vote, have a lucrative job I love, and lots of friends.
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Nov 23, 2014 17:28
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Wow, awesome owns everybody, really badass except for Beef Turret, that wasn't even you in that story you gently caress  anyway I know everybody is probably still talking about my epic victory against byg Fill at the watercooler but get this guys and gays... ITS NOT OVER YET ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay, so for a few months everything was cool, and then we finally got summer break and 8th grade was going as it should, no sign of Big Phil so far... I knew he'd probably lay low for a while after that sick rear end kicking I gave him, but little did I know I'd see him again as winter vacation was coming up.... "Hey nerdo, look whose back" said a farmilir voice. oh poo poo.... it couldn't be I looked behind me, it was Big Phil! and not only was he bigger... seriously, some pretty big muscles on that guy now... he had longer hair! sensing his aura, I could tell he was at least twice as powerful as the last time I'd seen him. The crowd had gathered again, and the blonde cheerleader stacey's boobs jiggled. "Look out, Noyemi!" My eyes went wide and Phil threw a punch too fast for me to dodge on short notice! He'd knocked my head back... blood trailed down my nose to the floor... I could tell he wouldn't be as much of a pushover this time. He cracked his neck and his knuckles. "Heh heh, I've been watching some anime... surprising what techniques you can learn with efficient training..." I cursed him under my breath "no... it can't be... he figured out my secret!" and slowly, his aura started to rise to reveal his true power level. poo poo, any higher and he'd outclass me in my normal form... I tried my Dragon Attack again, but Big Phil caught my leg and threw me into the lockers, denting them in and cratering the walls. The crowd had started to scatter, and the teachers didn't know what to do. I was bleeding out of my mouth and my shirt was torn. poo poo, I should have spent the summer training and fighting stronger opponents....... Phil knew he had the upper hand, and he strolled over to me and put his foot on my chest, and ripped his shirt off. "Today you die, Noyemi K!" He grabbed me by my shirt and tossed me up into the air. "Batter up!" gently caress! he kicked me hard with a spin kick and sent me down the hall and into the cafeteria. I was already drained and the fight had barely started. With the hot cheerleader worried for my life, and my friends cheering, I rose from the rubble... my clothes were torn and I was bleeding. Suddenly, Dragonforce's Through the Fire and Flames came on the intercom. I could feel my power surging back! I was ready to fight. "You made a big mistake coming back here Phil... the only one who will die today is you!" I lunged for him at the speed of a bullet train and slammed my fist into his gut, twisting and deforming his now perfect rock-hard abs. His eyes bulged a little and he coughed out some blood, and I took the opportunity to use my special 1000 fists technique. I punched and punched, but even battered and beaten as he was, he started blocking when my punches finally pushed him through the wall into a science class. Now he was copying my moves, and retaliating punch for punch. But I just had to hold out and keep him from landing a special move on me until the solo came up. "You can't keep this up forever Noyemi, you'll run out of power and it'll be your doom!" "Heh, try me you big oaf!" Finally, as our fight took us into the gym, the solo came on and I could feel my eyes turning red. Finally, I could unleash my true form on him, and be rid of him for good... To the timing of the hammer-ons, I pressed my fingers hard against his pressure points, and sent him flying back with a punch at the end. My super form deactivated, and I was drained... and Phil was coming right for me. He picked me up by the collar, and smirked. "Heh heh. Looks like your little song did no good. I'm still here, and I'm about to crush your head like a grape!" But little did he know. "Is that so...? To me, it looks like... you're already dead." His face contorted into a mighty frown, and his eyes grew bloodshot. "WHAAAAAT?!" Heh. My secret technique. His muscles started to swell, bulging uncomfortably and stretching his skin & popping out his veins. He looked like a lumpy beanbag chair, and he had to let go of me because his hand swelled to the point where his fingers were little nubs. "Hasta la vista, baby!" I waved to him on my way out of the gym, and Phil finally exploded, spraying his gibs and blood all over the indoor court and the bleachers. After I left, Stacey's titties jiggled again and she hugged me, and then I blacked out..........
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Nov 23, 2014 17:48
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bullies drove me to suicide but now i haunt them for eternity so lol owned. i even followed one of them here to the somethingawful.com forums, his name is the OP
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Nov 23, 2014 17:48
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YourHealthyColon posted:bullies drove me to suicide but now i haunt them for eternity so lol owned. i even followed one of them here to the somethingawful.com forums, his name is the OP lmbo, you killed yourself because you realized it's you, your the bullie 
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Nov 23, 2014 18:12
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people try to cyberbully me all the time and I own them by reporting them to the moderation team, hope you enjoy not being a member og the community anymore meanie
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Nov 23, 2014 18:19
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Noyemi K posted:Tell us your TRUE stories of getting back at those bullys with sick owns, beatdowns, and hilariously one-sided victorys. I'll start:  are you 19???
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Nov 23, 2014 18:22
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YourHealthyColon posted:bullies drove me to suicide but now i haunt them for eternity so lol owned. i even followed one of them here to the somethingawful.com forums, his name is the OP Someone attempted suicide because of me once. He failed so it was generally a good ego booster to know that I can have that much power over someone who is more or less a stranger without the guilt of knowing that someone died because of something I said.
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Nov 23, 2014 18:25
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Whirlwind Jones posted:
I'm 21, this game came out when I was 10 homie
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Nov 23, 2014 18:25
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Whirlwind Jones posted:
Think again, the remake of Pokemon Ruby just came out yesterday This happened yesterday
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Nov 23, 2014 18:26
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Whirlwind Jones posted:
isn't that allowed
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Nov 23, 2014 18:40
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In 1957, Muhammad Ali (then known as 'Gaseous' Cassius Clay) sucker punched me and did what would later be known as the Ali shuffle over my prone form. In 2007, on the 50th anniversary, I returned the favor on his Parkinson's-riddled rear end. 
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Nov 23, 2014 18:43
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Upon realizing that every member of the species is a sociopath out the get me, I retreated into my cave and have been quietly manipulating world events that should lead to our extinction soon.
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Nov 23, 2014 18:43
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ThirdPartyView posted:In 1957, Muhammad Ali (then known as 'Gaseous' Cassius Clay) sucker punched me and did what would later be known as the Ali shuffle over my prone form. In 2007, on the 50th anniversary, I returned the favor on his Parkinson's-riddled rear end. Wow sick own dude, that old gently caress didnt know what he had coming exspurt analcyst posted:Upon realizing that every member of the species is a sociopath out the get me, I retreated into my cave and have been quietly manipulating world events that should lead to our extinction soon.
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Nov 23, 2014 18:51
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This troper took a few levels when, after years of being a Woobie so pitiful Shinji would say what the heck is wrong with you, I had enough of a girl I liked always going for this tall, blond guy. When they were talking right in front of me in the street and holding arms and talking and all that, I said, “Shut. The. Hell. Up.” The boy looks around and walks over, trying to look menacing. Martial arts studies come in. I take a punch to the forehead and then slide under and punch him in the stomach, he goes backwards and I land another one to his face. I then go berserk and full body tackle him. He managed to crawl away, and say, “That kid…is inhuman!”
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Nov 23, 2014 21:37
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in 6th grade i was like a foot taller than all the kids and would get bullied for it and my mom/guidance counselor/teachers all just told me to ignore the people bullying me and they would stop so i was ignoring them one day and they chucked rocks at my head and was literally the worst thing that happened to me and definitely way worse than when i fought back thanks for that good advice on bullying everyone also this story was mostly me getting owned by adults and kids alike
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Nov 23, 2014 21:38
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Nckdictator posted:This troper took a few levels when, after years of being a Woobie so pitiful Shinji would say what the heck is wrong with you, I had enough of a girl I liked always going for this tall, blond guy. When they were talking right in front of me in the street and holding arms and talking and all that, I said, “Shut. The. Hell. Up.” The boy looks around and walks over, trying to look menacing. Martial arts studies come in. I take a punch to the forehead and then slide under and punch him in the stomach, he goes backwards and I land another one to his face. I then go berserk and full body tackle him. He managed to crawl away, and say, “That kid…is inhuman!” hey man, nice story but you forgot that you're posting on semthing offal not tv troops, next time you copupaste your own true story from there remember that fucko
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Nov 23, 2014 21:41
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i was a bully. whenever a nerd tried to talk back to me, i'd pop him the mouth so he'd know better
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Nov 23, 2014 21:43
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Gaunab posted:i was a bully. whenever a nerd tried to talk back to me, i'd pop him the mouth so he'd know better and now that nerd has the sickest job making video games for steam and you're sitting there flipping burgers and spending all your money on said videogams, lmbo wlecome to the own zone fucko
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Nov 23, 2014 21:46
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 12:30 |
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Ever since I moved in, I've been waiting for my roommate to spend the night somewhere else so I could hire an escort and bring her to my dorm room. I have a very specific fetish where I like to lie down on the floor and have women step on me in high heels, and unfortunately escorts are the only women who are willing to do that for me. I finally got my chance last night when my roommate went to stay with a friend in Providence. After some searching, I found a whore willing to indulge in my fetish and had her come to my dorm. I was nervous signing her in, afraid that people knew that some crazy poo poo was about to go down in my room. I'm not sure they could even imagine how hosed up things would end up getting. I brought her to my room and gave her all the money I had to have her walk all over me with her six inch heels. I took my shirt and pants off. When she saw my dick she said, "Oh my loving God, I've seen babies with bigger dicks than you!" She didn't realize that comments like these turn me on somewhat chronic. I told her to trample me like she was going to trample me to death under her high heels, I said to jump up and down on the most fragile parts of my body with no care in the world. She said she'd love to. She started by standing in the middle of my chest and bouncing up and down on my rib cage. She had a crazy look in her eye, a look that made it clear she wasn't your average, run of the mill escort. It wasn't long before she looked down at me and said "gently caress it loser, I'm just gonna kill you." She walked to my genitals and stood on my balls until they burst. I cried in pain, but she just laughed and said, "You loving piece of poo poo loser, I'm gonna kill you now!" She walked up my body and stood on my face. She stood on my eyes with her sharp heels and crushed my eyeballs, making them explode. She laughed again, then used her razor sharp heels to slit my throat. I felt my warm blood spilling all over the dorm room floor. She got down on her knees to whisper in my ear before I died, "loving die, tiny-dick meatball shithead!" It was the greatest night of my life.
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Nov 23, 2014 21:47
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