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a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


So I thought about posting this on /r/financialadvice, but I know that reddit is filled with pedophiles and retards, so instead I'm going to ask you dudes.

Frankly, I'm in deep poo poo with the IRS.

I owe a buttload of money in back taxes and I cant pay them. With that in mind, how can I barter with the IRS? I mean, I know they don't have any dishes that I can come in and clean, but I wouldn't mind coming in and vacuuming their offices to work off my debt. I am not, however, willing to scrub toilets.

What's the best way to pay off that debt WITHOUT using money?

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a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Mods, please add a question mark to my thread title. I don't want anyone to think that I am offering the advice.

Thanks.

Horseshoe theory
Mar 7, 2005

If you're serious, do an Offer in Compromise. You're going to have to pay , one way or another. Better than a jeopardy levy on your assets.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:

but I know that reddit is filled with pedophiles and retards
wait so why did you post here instead of there :confused:

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

just dont pay it. what can they really do to you??

PromethiumX
Mar 5, 2003
offer the auditer a hand-beezy

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

TEAYCHES posted:

just dont pay it. what can they really do to you??
yeah op. does the IRS really even exist? have you ever seen the IRS?

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


a hole-y ghost posted:

yeah op. does the IRS really even exist? have you ever seen the IRS?

I've gotten some pretty scary letters in the mail

Horseshoe theory
Mar 7, 2005

WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:

I've gotten some pretty scary letters in the mail

You have any seizable assets?

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


ThirdPartyView posted:

You have any seizable assets?

My PS4 :ohdear:

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

ThirdPartyView posted:

You have any seizable assets?
no he does not :mmmhmm:

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


1. sell everything
2. buy ticket to exotic locale
3. never come back to the united states

Horseshoe theory
Mar 7, 2005


Then the worst they can do is garnish your wages, pretty much.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

1. sell everything
2. buy ticket to exotic locale
3. never come back to the united states
just move to pittsburgh no one will find you there

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

declare yourself a sovereign citizen

Horseshoe theory
Mar 7, 2005

TEAYCHES posted:

declare yourself a sovereign citizen

Easy way to get hit with frivolous argument penalties and possibly contempt of court when you can't pay up.

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007
Ramrod XTreme
when they take you to court, check to see if there are gold fringes on the flags

Acid Haze
Feb 16, 2009

:parrot:

TEAYCHES posted:

just dont pay it. what can they really do to you??

First they'll come with levies. They'll freeze your bank account and leave it that way until you give them something they want. They'll also garnish your wages, even if you don't make that much.

You can try to prove in court that you're poor as poo poo with no income, they'll mark you down to $50 a month in token payments and let you go with that. If you miss a payment they will immediately resume with the levies/garnishments. Of course in order to take it to court, you'll need like 500 bucks for a lawyer to have a realistic chance.

If you owe back taxes because you didn't do your taxes, THEN DO THEM. NOW. You can do your taxes from the years you missed and you'll end up having huge chunks taken off that amount you owe unless you had a cash-under-the-table job. But if you had steady employment and you turn in a few years of unfiled tax returns, you might actually get money back. They will sometimes pay you back money they garnished or levied once your tax returns are verified.

However if you're like my dad and have several failed businesses, and owe the IRS a couple hundred grand, then just have someone pay for a lawyer, go to court and tell them you have no money. They'll make you pay $50 a month until you die, but it's better than having the IRS gently caress with your bank account.

Acid Haze fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Nov 24, 2014

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
have a billion dollars

it helps

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

by XyloJW
change op's name to indentured serverdude

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007
Ramrod XTreme
[ask] me about having a state take thousands of dollars from my banking account and i received a letter indicating i owed money a week after the fact.

also [ask] me about how it was complete bullshit and they will never give me my money back even though they were in the wrong because lol we already have your money

state government is literally the worst

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

1. walk outside
2. make a sign that says i suck any dick for $1
3. suck a lot of dicks
4. pay off your debt with dick-suckin money

the really cool part about this plan is given the neighborhood you live in you will find a steady stream of business.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
just tons and tons of filthy lucrein off shore accounts which they can treally do anything about they can just threaten u until you agree to pay a few thousand dollars in fines for never having to disclose how much money u have smuggled out of the country without ever paying taxes on it

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

be very rich and you wont have to pay taxes.. america is funny in that way

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp
motion to request that the party expressing grievances represents taxation.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

1. sell everything
2. buy ticket to exotic locale
3. never come back to the united states

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

Concerned Citizen posted:

[ask] me about having a state take thousands of dollars from my banking account and i received a letter indicating i owed money a week after the fact.

also [ask] me about how it was complete bullshit and they will never give me my money back even though they were in the wrong because lol we already have your money

state government is literally the worst
what about those things you just said? I'm asking about them.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
It's easy OP. Kill yourself

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

Concerned Citizen posted:

[ask] me about having a state take thousands of dollars from my banking account and i received a letter indicating i owed money a week after the fact.

also [ask] me about how it was complete bullshit and they will never give me my money back even though they were in the wrong because lol we already have your money

state government is literally the worst

You say, 'ask'

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
send them a dick pic

No. 6
Jun 30, 2002

Blame it on your CPA.

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE
Offer them 3 chickens and a goat.

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004
I had a friend who didn't pay taxes for over a decade. When he finally went to buy a house he came to an agreement with the irs to make monthly payments that were reasonable and he had no penalties or fines against him.

Duck and Cover
Apr 6, 2007

TEAYCHES posted:

be very rich and you wont have to pay taxes.. america is funny in that way

Having money is better than making money.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
tell them there's nothing in the constitution about federal taxes and that they are an illegal instutition

that'll make them go away

Reign Of Pain
May 1, 2005

Nap Ghost
I don't speak for the IRS. This is my personal opinion.

Check this:

http://www.irs.gov/Advocate


If they can't help and Lois Lerners clusterfuck will ensure the funding ain't there for them to be able to...Get a lawyer. Some of them are free.(not that 1-800 horseshit)


Stupid people believe the IRS sets the tax rate. Elected people supposedly set the tax rate for EVERYTHING.

Don't fly planes into buildings/people. Bad.

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

tbh op if you just lay low they will give up eventually. has worked for me

the worst thing is
Oct 3, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Very carefully

Dianetics
Jun 6, 2014
I suggest fellatio followed by frantic pleading.

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you irl
Jan 22, 2014
all you have to do is send (registered mail) a letter to the irs telling them not to contact you, for legal reasons you should write it using letters cut out of a magazine

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