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game over banana breath
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 00:55 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 22:07 |
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Robbie Fowler posted:i remember reading something a while ago which said we'd get smaller in physical stature in the name of efficiency etc. Yeah this is actually true, taller people do have more health probs (I know because my friend of a friend is a doc), but so do smaller people....I think she said something like 5'2 to 6'6 had the least issues.If you deviate you generally get problems. Say Nothing posted:6'8" 450lb Brian Shaw, two-time winner of The World's Strongest Man, lifting 1100lbs+. And yeah, it's scary....but if you watch any vid of a gorilla being "tender", just check out the arm size and hands.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 00:56 |
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Say Nothing posted:6'8" 450lb Brian Shaw, two-time winner of The World's Strongest Man, lifting 1100lbs+. yeah this guy is a prime candidate to train for gorilla fighting. hes actually 50lbs heavier than the average male gorilla. with enough training and study of gorilla fighting techniques he could defeat a gorilla 1-on-1
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 00:58 |
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TEAYCHES posted:no it wouldnt be a huge strike. you would have to use agility and youd have to fake out and trick the gorilla and pluck out its eyeballs to get the upper hand. then youd fight dirty the only reason why itd have to be an exceptionally strong human is so he could land enough hits on a blind gorilla to finally take it down before exhaustion gorillas would have more agility than you on an account of having 4 pivot points, whereas a human would have two. you're assuming that you'd get within arms length of a gorilla to blind him, by the time you were within arms length he would destroy you.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 00:58 |
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they're not just strong they're fast as gently caress a chimp would swing around that dudes neck and rip his ears off before he knew what the gently caress was happeningTEAYCHES posted:no it wouldnt be a huge strike. you would have to use agility and youd have to fake out and trick the gorilla and pluck out its eyeballs to get the upper hand. then youd fight dirty the only reason why itd have to be an exceptionally strong human is so he could land enough hits on a blind gorilla to finally take it down before exhaustion bro you'd get loving owned in an instant. what would happen is the gorilla would knock you to the ground immediately and then you're hosed. gorillas weigh more than most professional fighters, have a way lower center of gravity, and are able to throw in 100% effort into a fight because they are a wild animal. Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 01:03 on Dec 18, 2014 |
# ? Dec 18, 2014 00:59 |
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TEAYCHES posted:yeah this guy is a prime candidate to train for gorilla fighting. hes actually 50lbs heavier than the average male gorilla. with enough training and study of gorilla fighting techniques he could defeat a gorilla 1-on-1 Doubt it seeing as the "average male gorilla can lift 10x its own weight" How much does he weigh just so I can work out how far a Gorilla would throw him, regardless of his strength.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 00:59 |
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Vs. Sorry Brock, but how do you put an armbar on something with 30" forearms?
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:00 |
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JiveHonky posted:game over banana breath that ninja hates the doobie brothers
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:00 |
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Robbie Fowler posted:gorillas would have more agility than you on an account of having 4 pivot points, whereas a human would have two. youd have to anticipate where the gorilla would strike using a human's above average intelligence. that is what i mean by studying gorilla fighting in a scientific environment. he would have to dodge the initial blows to get in a position where he can blind the gorilla
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:01 |
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:01 |
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Moridin920 posted:they're not just strong they're fast as gently caress a chimp would swing around that dudes neck and rip his ears off before he knew what the gently caress was happening jesus who would put the pussy on the right in the role of humanity's ultimate gorilla fighter. youd have to find someone who looks like gorilla, thinks like gorilla
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:02 |
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TEAYCHES posted:youd have to anticipate where the gorilla would strike using a human's above average intelligence. that is what i mean by studying gorilla fighting in a scientific environment. he would have to dodge the initial blows to get in a position where he can blind the gorilla a human displaying above average intelligence would never get into a fight with a gorilla, because he would be dismembered. i'm not actually sure if you're legit discussing this or not??? are you trolling for all the mean things i said to you in the past, because i apologised man, i just... i don't even know what to think anymore ths.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:03 |
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im not the one who will fight the gorilla. it will be hundreds of men from strong families trained from birth, bred for gorilla fighting. only one dude who was bad enough would be selected to fight the gorilla
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:03 |
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I like to think orangutans are the goons of the ape world
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:04 |
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even if you did blind it, then you've got donkey kong slamming the ground in a frenzy to try and beat and they have much more robust skeletal and muscle structures idk that you'd be able to damage a gorilla very much I mean yeah if you're the world heavyweight champion or a shaolin monk or some poo poo and study gorillas for years then maybe
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:04 |
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Moridin920 posted:I mean yeah if you're the world heavyweight champion or a shaolin monk or some poo poo and study gorillas for years then maybe thats all im arguing, but its more like the world heavyweight champion who is also a shaolin monk who has studied gorilla fighting science his entire life my only claim is that its possible
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:06 |
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Robbie Fowler posted:a human displaying above average intelligence would never get into a fight with a gorilla, because he would be dismembered. Fuckoff Robbie, you were a poo poo player, a shitter manager, and you know even less about gorillas than me.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:07 |
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spud posted:Fuckoff Robbie, you were a poo poo player, a shitter manager, and you know even less about gorillas than me. you're right, i was a poo poo manager for that thai team but i was only there for the ladyboys. but i was a p good player, don't be hating.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:10 |
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Monkey Fracas posted:I like to think orangutans are the goons of the ape world Maurice was the best in Planet of the Apes.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:19 |
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brock would break the streak
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:29 |
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yeah but who would win a ninja gorilla or viking gorilla
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:46 |
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i mean maybe you could get a lucky hit in on the gorillas eyes or balls but that's basically a 1/10000 possibility. In the vast majority of cases the human loses
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:46 |
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like one good strike from a gorilla is basically gonna take you out
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:47 |
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the biggest strongest man on loving earth could not beat an average male gorilla who was face to face with him if he was trained in every martial art on loving earth a trillion times out of a trillion. please stop or someone actually start doing something funny with fighting gorillas this is awkward.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:49 |
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Stoic Commie posted:the biggest strongest man on loving earth could not beat an average male gorilla who was face to face with him if he was trained in every martial art on loving earth a trillion times out of a trillion. stop this is awkward. i disagree, i think thats a ridiculous statement. gorillas arent magic and they are also dumber than us. an average gorilla wouldnt expect the bred-from-birth-to-fight-gorillas human (who is 450lbs, 50lbs heavier than the gorilla, and taller) to kick dust in its face then feint and pluck its eyeballs out also while a gorilla will start panicking and making poor decisions, the man would get increasingly focused and defeat the gorilla methodically
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:53 |
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a panicked gorilla is like the last thing i'd want to fight
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:54 |
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:54 |
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Harald posted:a panicked gorilla is like the last thing i'd want to fight not if you are a shaolin heavyweight champion. thats when the fight becomes easier once youve entered whats known as the "combat zen zone"
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:54 |
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i disagree a panicked opponent is an unpredictable opponent. the last thing you want to fight
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:59 |
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there's more to being a gorilla than just being bigger and uh heavier, i don't know if a human is even capable of punching hard enough to hurt a gorilla you all are dumb rear end mothers, forreal
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 01:59 |
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Stoic Commie posted:there's more to being a gorilla than just being bigger and uh heavier, i don't know if a human is even capable of punching hard enough to hurt a gorilla what do you know about being a gorilla
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 02:02 |
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if you're picking the biggest strongest man to fight the gorilla its only fair you take a gorilla trained from birth to kill men and it has to be the biggest most ripped as gently caress gorilla too good luck god bless
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 02:06 |
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david... posted:if you're picking the biggest strongest man to fight the gorilla its only fair you take a gorilla trained from birth to kill men and it has to be the biggest most ripped as gently caress gorilla too good luck god bless no its not supposed to be a fair fight. this is the pinnacle of humanity in genetics and training, against an average gorilla. those are the stakes of the argument
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 02:08 |
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TEAYCHES posted:what do you know about being a gorilla i'm mad about apes, loving pissed, im done
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 02:08 |
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no sorry im bringing peak gorilla get wrecked human trash
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 02:09 |
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 02:10 |
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what about those super-gorillas from Congo?
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 02:12 |
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they're super-gorillas
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 02:14 |
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i would leave their gold alone
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 02:15 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 22:07 |
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Guys, listen to the expert. Gorilla vs. Man 'Any animal can be knocked out by a hard punch' ****************************** by Gene Tunney 1926-28 Heavyweight Boxing Champion Editor and Owner Connecticut Nutmeg New Canaan, Conn. Vol. 1, No. 3 June 9, 1938 It was one of the first fights I had ever had. It was in France during the war. I was to box a big sergeant who outweighed me considerably and who had much more experience. Just before the gong sounded a second in my corner said, 'Stay away from this fellow. Be careful, he's as strong as a gorilla.' In the second round I hit him in the solar plexus with a left hook and he very obligingly went down and out. It was not a particularly hard punch. I went back to my corner and said, 'If gorillas aren't any stronger than that get a match for me with one.' I was a great admirer of the late Arthur Brisbane. I admired him tremendously as a man, as an editor, and of course greatly as a reporter. It was he who on the eve of an important championship heavyweight fight once wrote a bit contemptuously, 'A gorilla could lick them both.' The line was widely quoted and Brisbane often used it. More than once he wrote editorials for the Sunday American on the theme and the editorials were accompanied by Windsor McKay drawings showing an enormous gorilla crushing a man with a casual sweep of his right arm. Eventually fighting became my trade. I was interested in every phase of boxing and of human anatomy. I learned early that a boxer to be successful must know a great deal more than how to land a punch. He must know where to land it so that it will have the most effect. He must know his own body and he must strengthen parts of his body which were never meant to absorb punches -- the solar plexus region for instance. Out of sheer curiosity I often talked over Brisbane's statement with medical men who knew anatomy and with explorers and wild animal men who knew gorillas. I happened to be seated alongside of him at the 1932 Democratic convention in Chicago. One day Frank Buck walked up to us and I said to Frank, 'You know something about gorillas. Do you think that a well-trained, well-conditioned prize-fighter could knock out a gorilla?' This was meant as a sort of kid, for I knew that Mr. Brisbane, in spite of his great intellectual capacity, had no understanding of humor. Buck said, 'I certainly do. I don't think he'd have any trouble.' 'How about it, Mr. Brisbane?' I asked, but Mr. Brisbane only shook his head. He said, rather emphatically, after Frank Buck departed, 'Tunney, don't let that fellow fool you, a gorilla could lick three men.' He wasn't going to give up a conviction which he had held for many years. Mr. Brisbane went to his death convinced that a gorilla could lick any man who ever lived. I asked the late Martin Johnson about it and he thoroughly agreed with Buck and myself. 'A gorilla is a sluggish thinker,' Martin Johnson said. 'He only knows one attack. He goes after something and grabs it with his hands and then hugs it to his breast, crushing the life out of it when possible.' * * * It is my firm conviction that any fairly good heavyweight boxer could put the great Gargantua to sleep or to rout within two minutes. You must remember that a boxer stepping into the ring to defend or seek a championship is, muscularly speaking, quite a different person than is the spectator who watches him. Years of specialized calisthenics have put a tough layer of hard muscle over the boxer's stomach and solar plexus. Punches that would knock the ordinary man out instantly or injure him internally, bounce off the hardened body of a well conditioned boxer without making him gasp. That protective layer of muscle absorbs punches just as shock absorbers on your car assimilate the bumps. And speaking of unprotected solar plexuses, I can remember seeing in the American Vaudeville Theatre at 42nd Street and Eighth Avenue some years ago a washed-up middleweight fighter named Mike Farrell from the Westside Athletic Club put the gloves on with a trained polar bear at the invitation of the trainer from the stage. The bear had been used to sticking out one of its gloved fore-paws and scaring the silly men who would accept the invitation to box with the bear as a lark. Mike Farrell had an Irish sense of humor. When the bear stuck out his paw, Mike simply slipped inside and with both hands played the most resounding rat-a-tat on the unsuspecting bear's midsection. The bear dropped on all fours and ran off the stage, letting out the most terrifying shrieks. The trainer tried to brain Mike with a chair, the only weapon he could reach, for trying to kill his breadwinner. Gargantua is a big boy but a Dempsey left hook landing on his stomach might figuratively tear the poor animal in two and leave him paralyzed on the canvas or jungle. He didn't spend years of doing bending and mat exercises. A man has twenty-four ribs. Your encyclopedia will tell you that a gorilla has but thirteen. Between the ribs, below the breastbone, there are nerve centers. If they are shocked the shock travels to the spine temporarily causing paralysis. The ribs and well developed muscles between the ribs protect these nerve centers. Twenty-four ribs are much more protection than thirteen. There is the question of Gargantua's enormous teeth which look so frightening. He could do a lot of damage with his teeth and he doesn't know it. To begin with he lives on a vegetable diet. He isn't a meat eater. He is herbivorous and therefore would hardly relish a bite of tough human muscle. Anyone who lives only on what the dietitians call soft food must have weak teeth. They haven't been hardened to tearing meat. A good right-hand punch would probably send eight of Gargantua's teeth flying out to the seventh row. A gorilla has a skull which closely resembles the skull of a man. However, encased in that skull is a small brain, smaller than that of a dog. A gorilla has no reasoning process worthy of the name. Suppose he was fighting Joe Louis. What would he make of that amazing fast left jab? It would bewilder him considerably. It has bewildered every human opponent (except Max Schmeling) Louis has ever fought. A gorilla doesn't know pain, they say. Suppose Louis or Schmeling or any of the first ten ranking heavyweights were to land a punch let's say on Gargantua's Adam's Apple. Then Gargantua would know pain. Were you ever hit on the Adam's Apple? It isn't fun. Jack Dempsey hit me there when we boxed in Philadelphia and I felt as though I were swallowing whole pineapples for a week after. Martin Johnson told me a well-placed punch on the jaw would down the average large gorilla. As soon as Gargantua felt pain his reaction would be to rush in furiously. A good fighter would side step, swing a right to the jaw and Gargantua would be hearing the birdies sing. Any animal who has a brain, a nervous system and a spinal cord, can be knocked out. Now the Ringling Brothers Circus has come to our part of the country. It has pitched its tents at Bridgeport. Gargantua, the great star of the show, is there. Humphrey Doulens, one of our contributors, and a most ardent devotee of the circus, will also be there. He offers to arrange an opportunity for me to test out my theory: That a well-conditioned fighter could lick any gorilla. But unfortunately I am no longer in fighting shape. However, I would like to take up the offer for any one of a dozen third-rate heavyweights I know, but I would have to insist on immunity from any legal action by Ringling Brothers-Barnum and Bailey for damages through injury to Gargantua the Great. Moreover, I would insist on a referee other than Humphrey Doulens or any other Bridgeport buddy of Gargantua's to prevent the possibility of a long count. - The End -
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 03:09 |