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Would've been a real short book had ol' Morgoth still been in charge. Hail the real Satan.
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Dec 25, 2014 23:54
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If you're a lovely mortal. If you're like a wizard or a really awesome mortal you get to command vast armies and become a dark lord yourself. Otherwise it just enhances your natural characteristics - ie if Frodo would but lend me the Ring I could overthrow Sauron with the wickedest of farts.
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Dec 26, 2014 00:01
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Dragons, like all other things, have become much shittier in these latter days, and are thus unsuited for advanced metallurgy
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Dec 26, 2014 18:22
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Well that and it lets you impose your will on others, particularly orcs and such I think, so you get to have massive armies and set yourself up as the new dark lord. Or if you're a hobbit you get to make massive gardens and be the lord of pipeweed.
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Dec 26, 2014 20:54
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Disgusting Coward posted:Sauron imposed his will on the orcadorks easily cause he's a big flaming-eye motherfucker that's a magician and the King of Mordor and poo poo. Plus, like, zillions of un-ringed dudes have armies, poo poo ain't special in Lordathurangs. Tarragon spends half the series waving his broken sword at dudes and they just fall in line. Gandalf just kinda shows up at places and goes "poo poo is going down" and there's armies and eagles helping him. Hell, Merry and Pippin smoke some weed with a tree and end up with an army of ents. The point is more that if the lord aragon elfstone strider heir of sissyldur of the house of ephebophil of atlantis used the ring he'd get to command the orc armies as well, besides his lovely little human armies which would barely pass for a scouting party in a proper country. They've got barely 3000 guys defending the greatest city of the greatest kingdom in middle earth, boy I'm impressed.
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Dec 27, 2014 19:56
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I think they had a bunch of civil wars and regular wars and plagues after which they stopped giving a poo poo about keeping the watch on mordor. e: also he totally wasn't supposed to be a literal flaming eye on top of a tower, ffs peter jackson
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Dec 27, 2014 20:07
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The Valar are to blame for the whole fiasco anyway, they completely humiliated Angband after the Great War and literally broke the continent, of course the destitute orcs were going to flock to a charismatic tyrant like Sauron. And of course they went almost completely isolationist when it blew up in their angelic faces.
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Dec 27, 2014 20:16
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What's Obama's place in all this?
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Dec 27, 2014 22:18
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He's actually the last of a ragged house long bereft of lordship and dignity. So, pretty poor I think.
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Dec 29, 2014 00:22
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Chill la Chill posted:They were ethnic and unholy To be precise, they were "Easterlings with axes, and Variags of Khand, Southrons in scarlet, and out of Far Harad black men like half-trolls with white eyes and red tongues".
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Dec 29, 2014 20:40
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bartlebyshop posted:So apparently in Two Towers instead of Haldir (blonde dude who gets stabbed) she was supposed to be there leading the elves at Helms Deep. Except she wasn't believable at all as an elf warrior princess. She still turned up on Glorfindel's white horse:  Also freeze-framing through that scene where they charge down the causeway makes it look like a horrible cartoon 
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Dec 30, 2014 09:21
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I can't believe he went through with that marriage when Frodo had been giving him those looks of longing for the entire 3-year runtime of the films.
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Jan 1, 2015 01:11
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Eagles would loving eat you as soon as let you ride on them, Gandalf could only do it because he was friends with the Beastmaster of Rhosgobel.
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Jan 4, 2015 14:11
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Hogge Wild posted:no it was the gypsy who had stolen the ring and then accidentally fell in to the volcano Was literally shoved into the volcano by God himself you mean.
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Jan 4, 2015 18:56
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