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My dad taught me to never fight farmers, they're always way stronger than they look. He learned that at a funeral full of angry Scottish farmers.
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Dec 31, 2014 17:26
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| # ? May 6, 2024 12:22 |
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"Don't do tequila shots unless you're ready to gently caress, fight, or both."
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Dec 31, 2014 17:28
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My dad said "Lastnames always pull through" on the phone before dying the next day so I learned that if it looks like I might be about to die then I am about to die
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Dec 31, 2014 17:29
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Crow Jane posted:"Don't do tequila shots unless you're ready to gently caress, fight, or both." calling BS on this dadvice
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Dec 31, 2014 17:30
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"Don't have kids."
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Dec 31, 2014 17:31
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"when you're gutting a fish you cut from here, which is the arse I think?" wise words
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Dec 31, 2014 17:31
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never trust an elf posted:calling BS on this dadvice It's completely true. My dad's a strange guy.
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Dec 31, 2014 17:33
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"3 beers is all you need to have a good time."
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Dec 31, 2014 17:34
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"use the boost to get through"
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Dec 31, 2014 17:35
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If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything. Because even the slightest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine.
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Dec 31, 2014 17:37
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"dont smoke marijuana. it makes you lazy"
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Dec 31, 2014 17:45
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your a real disappointment son
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Dec 31, 2014 17:45
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tvayisnihyaami posted:"dont smoke marijuana. it makes you lazy" my dad gave me the same advice but it wasn't his finest tbh
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Dec 31, 2014 17:46
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when you own a business, you're still not the boss and you will still answer to middle-management type dicks
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Dec 31, 2014 17:48
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"Try not to piss people off, because you never know when you might need their help." Also, "You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning."
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Dec 31, 2014 17:51
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"If you're going to fight make sure you land the first punch"
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Dec 31, 2014 17:52
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"you're not mine and you suck"
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Dec 31, 2014 17:55
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if your kid's a dick, cut your losses and run. that's also the last time i saw him
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Dec 31, 2014 18:18
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Ten years?! Man I gotta lay off the peyote
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Dec 31, 2014 18:20
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would u and ur sister gently caress off somewhere for a minute so i can talk to ur mom
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Dec 31, 2014 18:22
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"You should go out and pick up an ugly chick, they like to gently caress."
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Dec 31, 2014 18:26
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fuckin em right in dat poosay
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Dec 31, 2014 18:32
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"Son, marry yourself up to a fat tattooed woman. You get shade in the summer, heat in the winter, and movin' pictures all year 'round."
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Dec 31, 2014 18:41
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"It's all your fault..."
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Dec 31, 2014 19:38
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My father told me I shouldn't be gay because then I'd have to use a buttplug for the rest of my life.
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Dec 31, 2014 19:52
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I got $1000 on my 18th and the boot.
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Dec 31, 2014 20:02
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Jst0rm posted:I got $1000 on my 18th and the boot. $1000 more than me you goddamn 1 percenter
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Dec 31, 2014 20:10
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lorn Wayne posted:$1000 more than me you goddamn 1 percenter I didnt complain. 
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Dec 31, 2014 20:16
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You Always Wrap The Rascal
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Dec 31, 2014 20:18
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"Quit being a fag"
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Dec 31, 2014 20:24
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ur gunna get cut in a knife fight, the best u can do is choose where
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Dec 31, 2014 20:30
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Professor Shark posted:My dad taught me to never fight farmers, they're always way stronger than they look. Farmers have hands like loving shovels. He was a smart man.
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Dec 31, 2014 20:51
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"Socialism is communism. All the people that voted for Obama have allowed this government, allowed him to ruin everything! Democrats are hell bent on destroying this country. It's up to people like us to do the right thing. That's why I'm registered to the Constitutionalist Party. God and Conservatism is the only way we will get America back." (sic) Needless to say we don't talk much anymore
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Dec 31, 2014 20:55
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYPHspZ9ouI
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Dec 31, 2014 21:05
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"Marijuana is boring, but LSD is a ton of fun and everyone should do it." I haven't listened because I'm a boring dork 
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Dec 31, 2014 21:06
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"I did speed and I stayed up for three days. Don't do speed."
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Dec 31, 2014 21:06
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"Once tequila starts sounding like a good idea, go the gently caress home!" All times I've disregarded this advice have not ended well.
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Dec 31, 2014 21:17
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"tequila is totally overexaggerated" true story
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Dec 31, 2014 22:08
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"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
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Dec 31, 2014 22:10
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| # ? May 6, 2024 12:22 |
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"Stay down."
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Dec 31, 2014 22:10
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