Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

Mr Underhill posted:

If this guy doesn't christen us soon I'm taking over the whole operation and switching it to Russian mafia theme.

They have many more codes! And no spaces for the frail. But, nice tattoos. Is tossup.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

uh..

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thief_in_law

    Never show his emotions.
    Forsake his relatives: father, mother, brothers, sisters. (Varies)
    Not have a family of his own: no marriage, no children; this does not however, preclude him from having an unlimited number of women. *During a large gathering of thieves-in-law during the late 1980s, this rule was removed. (Varies)
    Never, under any circumstances, have a legitimate job or significant property (e.g. a house), no matter how much difficulty this brings; live only on money obtained through gambling or theft (the word 'theft' as used here describes any criminal activity considered 'legitimate' by the Vory), and rely on lower-level criminals for accommodation. For example, harming or molesting children is strongly frowned upon and may endanger a vor's status and could provoke a more brutal retaliation from one's comrades than from the police. A 'thief in law' is a leadership position, so direct participation in arms smuggling and drug trafficking is incompatible with their high status since those crimes are a form of commerce. However receiving tribute from smugglers and drug-dealers or robbing and extorting them is a legitimate activity for a 'thief in law'.[citation needed] (Traditional thieves apply this but modern Vor tend to be in more powerful positions and this rule now, is very uncommon.)
    Help other thieves: both by moral and material support, utilizing the commune of thieves.
    Rule and arbitrate the criminal world and protect basic needs of criminals and prisoners according to the extents and priorities set by the thieves' commune (typically in a given prison/prison cell, or region when not imprisoned)
    Keep secret information about the whereabouts of accomplices (e.g. dens, districts, hideouts, safe apartments, etc.).
    In unavoidable situations (if a thief is under investigation or is arrested) to take the blame for someone else's crime; this buys the other person time to escape and remain free.[citation needed]
    Demand an inquiry and judgment by a council of thieves to resolve disputes in the event of a conflict between oneself and other thieves, or between thieves.
    If necessary, participate in such inquiries if called upon.
    Punish any offending thief as decided by the judgment of the thieves council.[citation needed]
    Not resist carrying out the decision of punishing the offending thief who is found guilty, with punishment determined by the thieves council.[citation needed]
    Have good command of the thieves' slang (called "Fenya"), a distinct language spoken by hardcore criminals in Russia and understood by few outsiders.[5]
    Never gamble without being able to cover losses.
    Teach the criminal way of life to youth with potential.
    Have, if possible, informants from the rank and file of thieves.[citation needed]
    Not to lose your reasoning abilities when drunk.
    Have nothing to do with the authorities (particularly with the ITU, Correctional Labor Authority), not participate in public activities, nor join any community organizations. (This rule came from during the years of Soviet oppression and rarely applies now)
    Not serve in the military or accept any weapons from the government or prison authority (police baton). (Again this rule is traditional and rarely applies today, in fact, Vor control the black market, which is discharged Soviet weapons)
    Make good on promises given to other thieves.
    Never deny his Vor status directly. To the questions like 'Are you a Vor?' or 'Who are you for life?',[6] a vor should always answer: "Yes (I am a vor)", even if asked by police and videotaped. The latter question phrase is ritual and video footage containing the answer is commonly used by the Russian militsiya to illustrate vory arrests in the media. (Not common in post-Soviet times)

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob
postin

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.


Buglord

ilikedirt posted:

CACA STEVE ur doomed to always be a low level thug because of that embarassing incident where u accidentally flipped a portapotty over while u were pooping inside

drat, I sound hardcore

Bacontotem
May 27, 2010



I I'm gayed a man once.

KoRMaK
Jul 31, 2012



i heard you guys was takin memebership to your "elks club" you gots here

CHITTYBAR
Oct 1, 2010

I'm no turkey-ass doctor, I'm a Turkey ASS Doctor!
I hope I have what it takes to be in your mafia :ohdear:

plumpy hole lever
Aug 8, 2003

♥ Anime is real ♥
hi

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

THE PENETRATOR posted:

op hopefully u give me a name if not them im going 2 break youre legs

PAPA "BOX CUTTER" JOHN, you possess incredible paper craft skills, you waste your talent day after day on making counterfeit pizza boxes for the mafia's underground pizza operation!

plumpy hole lever
Aug 8, 2003

♥ Anime is real ♥
wheres my name op you dirty dog

Atarian
Aug 10, 2005

This ant...
Clever Betty
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Stop the Scrotes posted:

wheres my name op you dirty dog

ALPHONSO FATHEAD, during one of our gangs rival shoot outs at a hairspray manufacturing plant, your hair was accidentally exposed to raw aerosol spray. Now your hair is forever volumized, giving you the appearance of a fat head. Ur job is to go to our rival gangs favorite movie theater and sit directly in front of them as they try to watch really good movies.

PixieDreamGirl fucked around with this message at 05:40 on Jan 5, 2015

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

NICE GUY JACK, ur jab is to be soo nice that you start to attract needy, whiny, overly emotional, demanding/controlling, 'guilt tripping you if you don't do something for them' types of people, these are the kind of people we want in our mafia.

Dynastocles
May 29, 2009

"If you'll excuse me, my dinner time is six o'clock. Only gangsters eat at 9 o'clock, after some bootlegging and a hot game of craps."

i want a tough name for a toug man

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Dynastocles posted:

i want a tough name for a toug man

RALPHIE FATFACE, you've got a fat face but you have incredible skin. You're the mobs go to person for skin care. Evidently nobody takes your skin care advice because you're fat. We just keep you around cause your skin is incredible.

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Atarian posted:

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.

SMOOTH CLAUDIO BRASSI, You're in charge of completing our most hardest operations in front of our rival gangs. You deal with such grace and fluidity that our rival onlookers instantly lose appreciation for how difficult a task it is and eventually just give up, and that's when we strike.

PixieDreamGirl fucked around with this message at 05:54 on Jan 5, 2015

A Bug
Nov 26, 2008

MOM GET THE CAMERA!
:potg:
Maybe I posted, maybe I didn't. What's it to you?

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

A Bug posted:

Maybe I posted, maybe I didn't. What's it to you?

LUCKY MARIO GALLO, you were one of the 350 people who missed there trip on Flight 93 on September 11th, and you won't shut up about it. Anytime one of us starts talking about how lucky we were that the bullet barely grazed us, you go on and one up us with your 9/11 story.

Mr Underhill
Feb 14, 2012

Not picking that up.
Is mr Underhill gonna have to choke a bitch to get a tough guy name?

Manifest
Jul 7, 2007

HELLO THERE I COME FROM THE FUTURE
I want to be WAR CRIME.

PTSDeedly Do
Nov 24, 2014

VOID-DOME LOSER 2020


please give me a name

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
I'm a tough girl.

HollywoodDialysis
Jan 19, 2005

not doing nothing
Grimey Drawer
I'm ready for the big leagues, Don. Do what you wish with me.

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Mr Underhill posted:

Is mr Underhill gonna have to choke a bitch to get a tough guy name?

FABIANO THE PIMP, you quit your job as a fantasy football analyst, and become one of the most ruthless human trafficking dealers around. Everyone see's you as a tough guy, but I walked in on you watching Pixar's Up and you were crying.

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Manifest posted:

I want to be WAR CRIME.

TONY RUBBERFACE, you totally claim to have a lot of money from your past life, but everyone knows you're full of poo poo. Also ya make a great shield, enemy bullets tend to ricochet off of your face.

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

bensnotacat posted:

please give me a name

JUMPY PAOLO GIAMATTI, you claim to be american actor Paul Giamatti even though you look nothing like him, and we all call you 'big fat liar' behind your back. Also in your off time, you do mad squats, you can jump like 8 feet.

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Pththya-lyi posted:

I'm a tough girl.

ANGRY LITTLE TITO, formerly known as ANGRY TITO, until FRITO BANDITO saw your junk.

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Shockyourmonkey posted:

I'm ready for the big leagues, Don. Do what you wish with me.

PETTY CRIME LEO, You're the mobs go to lawyer. If we ever get caught, you're able to make any one of our crimes look like a minor legal offense, saving our butts from regulatory offences and only giving us infractions.

HollywoodDialysis
Jan 19, 2005

not doing nothing
Grimey Drawer
No big deal, don't you worry, fuhhgedditaboutit!

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

We all forgot about
The Don
so.
:drac:

I mean he posted around here and his picture was an upside down vampire cat. His name was Thedon or The Don. So he's in charge I think. I forgot. Whoops!

I.C. fucked around with this message at 13:23 on Jan 5, 2015

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie
Well i guess that makes me the dons wife. And what I say goes.

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien
Okay

Drad_Bert
Jun 26, 2013

by Smythe
Hey im 1/64 italian on my dads side

Murcor
Dec 1, 2007

It's a hell of a thing
Here I am, ready to be christened with an embarrassing but oddly accurate mafia name!

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

ALLEY CAT AL, when we first found you, you were a heroic but humble dude who was known to wander the streets at night in hopes of anonymously liberating, helping or rescuing animals from the hands of those whom would hurt them. Now you just smoke weed in the back alleys and order pizza for the mob.

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
I am ready for mine

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Drad_Bert posted:

Hey im 1/64 italian on my dads side

COLD-rear end VALENTINO RICCI, you broke your butt bone the day before butt inspection day, your butt was still freezing cold after a day of icing it. The nurse had to wear gloves just to inspect your cold caverns.

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Murcor posted:

Here I am, ready to be christened with an embarrassing but oddly accurate mafia name!

'PINSTRIPE' TONY MILANO, to this day we don't know how you were able to eat an entire plate of mama's spaghetti in once swift motion but you did it.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

I am ready for mine

MACHINE GUN MARCO, one time we asked you to wake up SLEEP SAMMY and you proceeded to walk up behind him, grab him by the ears yelling, "BRRRRRRR!!!!" while shaking his head vigorously for a few seconds. Followed by a slap to the side of his head while yelling, "RELOAD!"

  • Locked thread