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I mean hes walked on water, turned water into wine, raised the dead, but he can't just teleport himself off the cross? Real big pot hole imo
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Jan 5, 2015 19:21
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The nails were kryptonite.
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Jan 5, 2015 19:24
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Jewish occultism is mostly thaumaturgy OP if you want planar manipulation then you roll Vedic.
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Jan 5, 2015 19:26
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Not enough XP.
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Jan 5, 2015 19:26
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Because he was a charlatan the whole time. The movie dropped hints the whole time. How could you have missed that?
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Jan 5, 2015 19:27
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He was just being a stubborn bastard to try and spite the eagles who ditched him to save a couple Hobbits instead.
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Jan 5, 2015 19:56
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because he wasnt the messiah he was a very naughty boy
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Jan 5, 2015 20:03
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It seriously cracks me up that people talk about Jesus's "amazing sacrifice" with awe in their eyes. The dude was the son of God, what a lucky mother fucker. He got to drink wine all day and hang with his bros, and yeah, he died, but he died KNOWING that heaven was real and that he was the ruler of heaven. That doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice to me.
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Jan 5, 2015 20:04
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Jesus is a lot like Gandalf
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Jan 5, 2015 20:05
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spooky girlfriend posted:It seriously cracks me up that people talk about Jesus's "amazing sacrifice" with awe in their eyes. Also the only human in history ever to be crucified apparently, and because he died we don't have to suffer anymore  *grimaces to hide continual suffering*
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Jan 5, 2015 20:07
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It was just a setup for the whole coming back from the dead bit, that's some pretty boss level trolling.
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Jan 5, 2015 20:08
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The answer to that question is in the much better film, "The Last Temptation of Jesus Christ".
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Jan 5, 2015 20:09
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He died for your sins op. Like you making this stupid loving thread. It's a sin.
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Jan 5, 2015 20:11
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he was 9th level, which is enough for raise dead, but he was a cleric, not a mage so he couldnt have teleported
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Jan 5, 2015 20:12
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Hogge Wild posted:he was 9th level, which is enough for raise dead, but he was a cleric, not a mage so he couldnt have teleported Oh, well that makes sense. Where were you when I was suffering through Sunday school?
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Jan 5, 2015 20:15
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He tried to miracle himself away, that's why he asks why god forsake him or whatever.
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Jan 5, 2015 20:18
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*jesus, crucified, turns to the camera* It's a living! *Curb Your Enthusiasm theme begins to play*
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Jan 5, 2015 20:20
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spooky girlfriend posted:It seriously cracks me up that people talk about Jesus's "amazing sacrifice" with awe in their eyes. This. Jesus just started some poo poo in a temple knowing he would get the gently caress off this poo poo planet sooner than later. Greedy oval office.
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Jan 5, 2015 20:23
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mysterious frankie posted:*jesus, crucified, turns to the camera* It's a living! *Curb Your Enthusiasm theme begins to play*
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Jan 5, 2015 20:46
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A Messiah is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
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Jan 5, 2015 20:52
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Jesus was the most important self-hating Jew in all of human history, even more so than Albert Einstein or the people who wrote the best Christmas songs.
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Jan 5, 2015 20:53
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His dad pranked him and took away his powers. (he did throw in a resurrection spell afterwards though so not a _total_ dickbag)
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Jan 5, 2015 20:55
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omg op please, this was already addressed in the esection The Three Emptations of Christ where satan tempts him with all sorts of stuff, seriously, the authors thought of everything!
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Jan 5, 2015 21:02
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He couldn't perform miracles with all the jews around him.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:03
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spooky girlfriend posted:It seriously cracks me up that people talk about Jesus's "amazing sacrifice" with awe in their eyes. this is such a bad understanding. the passion was that god left him in that time. that's why he says "father, father, why have you forsaken me?" ont he cross, jesus lived in doubt. he was no longer certain he wasn't just a crazy person being crucified for nothing. surprise twist: he was just a crazy person being cruficied for benothing, but his friends later added some pretty good "extended universe" stuff that rally took off.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:03
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he got off on pain and there is no pain im heaven, they dont write about it but the whole time they were nailing him up he had a raging hardon and pontius pilot was like "woah dude, put that rattler away, were tryin to punish you" and jesus just kept moaning. all in all pretty awkward way to die
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Jan 5, 2015 21:04
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Jesus' death on the cross was needed in order to solidify gods new covenant with man. That is to say, to change the paradigm from strict adherence to orthodox rules to salvation through grace. The better question is why do we think of Judas as a traitor? He was depicted as Jesus' most loyal disciple, and the crucifixion was pre ordained. I think it is far more likely that Judas was the only disciple who would honor a request from Jesus that would lead to his death.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:05
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MegaGatts posted:Jesus' death on the cross was needed in order to solidify gods new covenant with man. That is to say, to change the paradigm from strict adherence to orthodox rules to salvation through grace. why you think he smooch him on the mouth? it is rather bizarre whthat judas has always been thought of a s a bad guy
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Jan 5, 2015 21:07
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MegaGatts posted:Jesus' death on the cross was needed in order to solidify gods new covenant with man. That is to say, to change the paradigm from strict adherence to orthodox rules to salvation through grace. Nicely put
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Jan 5, 2015 21:07
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If u think about it, the balrog is judas.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:09
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MegaGatts posted:
This gnostics believe exactly this.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:10
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jeezy creezy seemed like a "drama queen", imho. in today's world, one might even say "attention whore"
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Jan 5, 2015 21:10
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ignoring that "gnostics" are not an homogeneous bunch, it is really the only thing one can think
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Jan 5, 2015 21:10
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MegaGatts posted:Jesus' death on the cross was needed in order to solidify gods new covenant with man. That is to say, to change the paradigm from strict adherence to orthodox rules to salvation through grace. I'm always betraying my friends and I believe in predestination so, when you think about it, I'm a pretty great guy.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:14
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nomadologique posted:ignoring that "gnostics" are not an homogeneous bunch, it is really the only thing one can think Sorry, you're correct that the term "Gnostics" actually covers a wide range of beliefs I was just speaking in v. broad strokes.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:15
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Slipknot Hoagie posted:If u think about it, the balrog is judas.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:15
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MegaGatts posted:Jesus' death on the cross was needed in order to solidify gods new covenant with man. That is to say, to change the paradigm from strict adherence to orthodox rules to salvation through grace. This only applies if you're Jewish though. If you're a gentile you have to follow the rules laid down by Paul.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:16
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gTy2UlHWII
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Jan 5, 2015 21:17
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Yaldabaoth posted:This only applies if you're Jewish though. If you're a gentile you have to follow the rules laid down by Paul. we're all jewish really
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Jan 5, 2015 21:18
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mysterious frankie posted:I'm always betraying my friends and I believe in predestination so, when you think about it, I'm a pretty great guy. If i had a psychic friend and that friend told me to sell him out plus I'd get like $2800 id sell him out.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:18
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