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I'm a huge human being and read the books. They actually discuss this very plan in it. They opt against it because it will still eventually get found and not dealing with it means they're just punting their problems off to some poor bastards in the future. Also Sauron was going to win with or without the ring and the only reason he didn't is the ring got destroyed so not trying to destroy it would have backfired severely
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Jan 17, 2015 17:32
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Ginette Reno posted:I'm a huge human being and read the books. They actually discuss this very plan in it. They opt against it because it will still eventually get found and not dealing with it means they're just punting their problems off to some poor bastards in the future. What? Sauron's gonna hire James Cameron? "Some poor bastards in the future" would be us. Good luck with your melee army against modern armor.
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Jan 17, 2015 17:35
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Mr. Pumroy posted:gently caress middle earth. the sooner sauron and saruman tears that agriarian nonsense society apart and stains its verdant landscape with the soot and fire of industry the better. jesus christ, can't believe anybody in the fellowship took one look at that dumb elf town in the trees and said "yeah, this is def worth dying for" uproot it all and put elves in chains p. much agreed
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Jan 17, 2015 17:36
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Mr. Pumroy posted:are you saying with all this magic and elf poo poo you don't have someone who can launch it out of earth orbit? it'd fall into the sun then. maybe it would take decades but gravity would do the work eventually. nothing's hotter than the sun. i bet the sun is like, 10 mount dooms at least, and it's right there. just go to elfrond's backyard and magic it to escape velocity on a nice day where the sun is right over you. done. It takes more delta-v to send something into the sun than it does to send it out of the solar system.
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Jan 17, 2015 17:40
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So how's Udun these days, Morgoth Bauglir? Have you gotten over the rear end-whuppin' Manwe and and the rest of the Valar layed down on you? See, we're on to you. This is the Fourth Age, the age of MEN, or- well, more specifically, PERSONS, so you better step off because we're wise to your ways! -Sincerely, -A Tolkien Dork
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Jan 17, 2015 17:53
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(USER WAS CAST BEYOND THE DOORS OF NIGHT FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 17, 2015 18:15
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Mr. Pumroy posted:are you saying with all this magic and elf poo poo you don't have someone who can launch it out of earth orbit? it'd fall into the sun then. maybe it would take decades but gravity would do the work eventually. nothing's hotter than the sun. i bet the sun is like, 10 mount dooms at least, and it's right there. just go to elfrond's backyard and magic it to escape velocity on a nice day where the sun is right over you. done. Wait... I thought Middle-Earth was all underground, like there's a lower-earth that's like a world on the inside of a hollow ball, upper-earth that's normal, and then middle-earth that's like a big cave or something.
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Jan 17, 2015 18:16
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:Wait... I thought Middle-Earth was all underground, like there's a lower-earth that's like a world on the inside of a hollow ball, upper-earth that's normal, and then middle-earth that's like a big cave or something. I often wondered that. Why do they call it middle earth?
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Jan 17, 2015 18:19
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Tony Homo posted:I often wondered that. Why do they call it middle earth? because tolkein loved norse poo poo
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Jan 17, 2015 18:20
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the scholarly answer is norse poo poo. the in-universe answer is that it's in between the west, where the gods live, and the east, where hordes of asian barbarians will never develop any kind of civilization (also where the elves came from originally i think?) also in between the far north, where evil lives, and the far south, where black people live.
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Jan 17, 2015 18:24
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It'd be great if I was right but Tolkien just assumed that everyone would understand and then someone found an early draft of the Hobbit where Bilbo makes a comment about the stalactites hanging above the Shire and that sometimes Mordor fills up with smoke all the way to the ceiling.
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Jan 17, 2015 18:27
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Emerson Cod posted:Once Middle Earth reached a sufficient level of technological advancement, you know some hobbit with a god complex is going to get the bright idea to build an underwater city, the next logical step from an underground village... It was not impossible to build Bag-End at the bottom of the sea. It was impossible to build it anywhere else. Because of the ring's influence, you see.
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Jan 17, 2015 18:28
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paranoid randroid posted:(USER WAS CAST BEYOND THE DOORS OF NIGHT FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 17, 2015 18:37
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Sauron should have probably not made a ring which, if it got destroyed, killed him or if it fell of his finger, banished him and destroyed his body Sauron was honestly pretty dumb
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Jan 17, 2015 18:51
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MeLKoR posted:What? Sauron's gonna hire James Cameron? "Some poor bastards in the future" would be us. Good luck with your melee army against modern armor. nah, the ring's got influence, and if that means getting eaten by a fish which is then caught by a fisherman in the nearby town, so be it. This is literally how Smeagol found it in the first place. even if that takes 'a thousand years' Sauron's just beefing up his army and is literally invincible in the meantime, so throwing the ring into the ocean sounds like a great way to do your enemy a favor. that all said, if you know Sauron's back in Mordor and has filled that place with thousands of troops it's probably a really stupid idea to send 9 guys out on the quest, seems like it's asking for failure. Atoramos fucked around with this message at 19:39 on Jan 17, 2015 |
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Jan 17, 2015 18:53
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Imagine an alternative world where Obama made that trillion-dollar coin, Putin sends 9 random guys to steal it from Fort Knox and destroy the Empire.
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Jan 17, 2015 19:00
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Zzulu posted:Sauron should have probably not made a ring which, if it got destroyed, killed him or if it fell of his finger, banished him and destroyed his body sauron was basically a lich and the ring was his weird artifact that held all of his lichy essence. He was basically immortal as long as the the ring wasn't destroyed, also in the book he actually got beat to poo poo and basically killed before getting the ring cut off as opposed to the ring being cut off killing him. Isildur's dad I think basically killed himself beating up on sauron then just when he was gonna be revived isildur got mad about his dead gay dad and cut the ring off which prevented him from reforming this would take more than 5 minutes of a 3 hour long movie so ofc it get condensed into "cutting the ring off kills the sauron"
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Jan 17, 2015 19:01
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Gandalf wanted it to fail, that's why he tasked a naive little midget to carry the ring into an enemy army stronghold. If Sauron was killed, Gandalfs life would be meaningless. He knew what was gonna happen even if Frodo managed to get into the volcano... He just never saw Gollum showing up and loving everything up. That's why he REALLY cries when Sauron finally falls, it's not tears of joy it's tears of anguish
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Jan 17, 2015 19:01
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Atoramos posted:Imagine an alternative world where Obama made that trillion-dollar coin, Putin sends 9 random guys to steal it from Fort Knox and destroy the Empire. all 9 are rounded up by Secret Service wraiths during their elevenses squat
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Jan 17, 2015 19:02
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the russian shire is all guys spitting in the street and riding lovely ponies past piles of garbage. russian gandalf rolls up in a wagon packed with AKs and vodka. bilbo bagginov's 111th is gonna be one for the books.
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Jan 17, 2015 19:05
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the fellowship is middle-earth's seal team 6
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Jan 17, 2015 19:05
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paranoid randroid posted:the russian shire is all guys spitting in the street and riding lovely ponies past piles of garbage. russian gandalf rolls up in a wagon packed with AKs and vodka. bilbo bagginov's 111th is gonna be one for the books. tarp army
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Jan 17, 2015 19:08
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They could've just got some elfs to take it to that floating elf-place where only elfs can go. Or can orcs go there, because they're elfs?
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Jan 17, 2015 19:17
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Do Elves poop? Because if not, as I theorize, one could stick it up their butt and take the boat to Valinor putting the ring out of Saurons reach. If no Elf volunteered just sick it up there when they were sleeping they'd never know. It's a perfect plan.
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Jan 17, 2015 19:19
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:Do Elves poop? Because if not, as I theorize, one could stick it up their butt and take the boat to Valinor putting the ring out of Saurons reach. If no Elf volunteered just sick it up there when they were sleeping they'd never know. It's a perfect plan. It might work. Legolas smuggled Gimli into the west up his butt.
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Jan 17, 2015 19:35
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approximately how much time (daily) do you spend theorizing and mulling over the logistics of elf poop, im curious
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Jan 17, 2015 19:36
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Could Reepicheep have taken the ring into Aslan's Country?
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Jan 17, 2015 19:40
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The ring desires to be found idiot. The last thing anyone wants is some greedy little fish munchkin with a magical ring.
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Jan 17, 2015 19:42
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If you put it up your butt right the next person who penetrates your rear end in a top hat turns invisible and you get the feeling you're getting anal without looking like you are
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Jan 17, 2015 19:45
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Amateur Saboteur posted:approximately how much time (daily) do you spend theorizing and mulling over the logistics of elf poop, im curious its basically all i ever think about
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Jan 17, 2015 19:46
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Throwing the ring into the sea will just annoy Sauron because now he'll have to invent scuba diving and train orcs to use scuba diving in order to get to it.
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Jan 17, 2015 19:48
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Uh isn't "gently caress it the One was washed to the sea eons ago" the exact same BS Saruman says? OP is a human being. Oh it's Melkor go figure. A DEAD human being no less! Hows it feel bein home-and-simaril-and-bodiless? looooooser. Have fun loving around Outside until the utmost end. ppppppbt.
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Jan 17, 2015 20:14
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Yeah the elves have this magic immortal land called Valinor that can only be reached by special elvish flying ships but they can't just take the ring there and give it to Manwe because that would be too easy. Even thought that's exactly what they did with the other rings in the end anyway.
RonJeremysBalzac fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Jan 17, 2015 |
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Jan 17, 2015 21:01
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What about a catapult?
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Jan 17, 2015 21:05
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Well, you see the Giant Eagles could have...
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Jan 17, 2015 21:14
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here's a better question in the fellowship movie, how the gently caress does gandalf get his staff back after saruman captures him and steals it? gandalf doesnt have it when he jumps onto the eagle and leaves orthanc. saruman should still have his staff.
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Jan 17, 2015 21:25
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they should of just put it into the biggest piss poo poo pit in all of middle earth so no one would wade in and get it.
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Jan 17, 2015 21:29
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The deep sea is probably full of things like the hentai tentacle monster that was sitting around outside the Doors of Durin, you don't want to know what would happen if one of them got its suckers on the Ring. There's a reason the fellowship didn't bring any girls with them, or that scene would have gone very differently I tell you.
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Jan 17, 2015 21:46
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MeLKoR posted:Don't take it anywhere near Mordor you loving morons, the ring fell into a river and went missing for thousands of years, just take it on a boat to the middle of the sea and throw it overboard. That motherfucker ain't gonna climb the continental slope all by itself. What's the worst that can happen, an octopus with delusions of grandeur? Yeah nice try Melkor or should I say MORGOTH? I'm not falling for that poo poo again.
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Jan 17, 2015 21:47
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MeLKoR posted:Don't take it anywhere near Mordor you loving morons, the ring fell into a river and went missing for thousands of years, just take it on a boat to the middle of the sea and throw it overboard. That motherfucker ain't gonna climb the continental slope all by itself. What's the worst that can happen, an octopus with delusions of grandeur? Nah Sauron has regained some of his strength since then and could get the numbers to find it eventually. The guy's immortal and orcs breed like rabbits so it's not like he would be concerned about time. Zombie Boat posted:Yeah nice try Melkor or should I say MORGOTH? I'm not falling for that poo poo again.
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Jan 17, 2015 21:48
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