|
*eats a hamburger* drat this hamburger is really good. You're gonna have to trust me on this. The texture, the meat. *eats a hamburger* drat this hamburger, it's also really good.
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 11:37
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:48 |
|
|
It's time for another triple, diple D
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 11:38
|
|
|
Overpronounces Italian/Spanish words.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 11:40
|
|
|
You know those cows with holes put in their stomachs? Well in my new show we're gonna use the cow as a food processor and mix all the ingredients in there. Maybe cook the whole cow alive to bake a cake for a season finale.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 11:47
|
|
|
*on the nonstop bus to flavour town*
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 11:52
|
|
|
*patronizes respectable small restaurant chef with over exaggerated praise and meaningless comments* 40 HOUR MEAT SMOKING 
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 12:37
|
|
|
I'm not entirely satisfied with the dish, but I know the flavours are there
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 12:38
|
|
|
eric posted:Overpronounces Italian/Spanish words. *fills up screen with enormous head*
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:20
|
|
|
is an rear end in a top hat to a min wage employee
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:21
|
|
|
*homosexual in a three piece suit whose never cooked says your food sucks*
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:25
|
|
|
*unhinges jaw* *scoops up half a pound of butter with lower jaw* *washes it down with a mayonnaise milk shake*
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:25
|
|
|
Has to sit in sterile sound stage
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:26
|
|
|
My father died of lung cancer just last year, he was my inspiration for entering Chopped. I decided to add parsley to the dish to help bring out its flavor, it's what my father, who died of lung cancer just last year, would have done. Well I'm sorry you didn't like the texture of my calzone judge. My father, who died of lung cancer just last year, loved his calzones like this. I didn't win Chopped but I know my father, who died of lung cancer just last year, would be proud of me.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:26
|
|
|
CharlestonJew posted:My father died of lung cancer just last year, he was my inspiration for entering Chopped. Is it racist that I read this as an overweight black girl with a jesus cross tattoo on her neck?
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:30
|
|
|
JediTalentAgent posted:Judge: This... This doesn't scream 'dessert' to me. This is more an ENTREE or an APPITIZER or even BREAKFAST meal. If I was in your restaurant and THIS came out me as a dessert, I'd be displeased. I mean, it's a TECHNICALLY fine dish, it's not in keeping with the challenge with making a DESSERT out of all these items. And I think the bacon is still a little chewy... Do you think this is a $10K winning dessert? that was definitely aaron sanchez
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:30
|
|
|
poo poo I accidentally put my pizza in the freezer instead of the oven to cook, what do I do? Hmm.. I know! I'll just put some cheese, bread, and pepperoni on a plate then drench it in tomato sauce and call it a "Deconstructed Pizza", that $10k is mine.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:31
|
|
|
psyopmonkey posted:Is it racist that I read this as an overweight black girl with a jesus cross tattoo on her neck? you could imagine it as anyone you want and it would be fine. About 50% of food network contestants have dead parents and they will remind you of that fact every chance they get.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:34
|
|
|
I wouldnt mind cohosting with Giada so I could look down her shirt 
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:35
|
|
|
"Your ingredients for the dessert challenge are: pork bung, escarole, cinnamon, and cranberries." *after round ends* "We liked the flavor of your dish but we really couldn't taste the bung; it's almost like you were trying to cover it up with the other ingredients." *is eliminated, receives nothing, goes back to minimum wage shithole*
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:36
|
|
|
Hexel posted:I wouldnt mind cohosting with Giada so I could look down her shirt she is weird she is like a white korean who got plastic surgery every where except her face
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:36
|
|
|
*takes a bite of finished meal* MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:38
|
|
|
Dely Apple posted:*takes a bite of finished meal* Wow, I can really taste the bung!
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:44
|
|
|
As a professional food-eater my opinion is very valued in the food-eating community, and your cooking is poo poo. thanks for the free food, rear end in a top hat
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:47
|
|
|
the plating is a bit....rustic
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:47
|
|
|
*Judge criticized me during the first round for playing it safe by not incorporating my ethnic cuisine background into the dish. *Judge criticized me during the second round for playing it safe by falling back on my ethnic cuisine background in preparing the dish. *Judge is confused in third round about how ill-defined by entire meal was as a whole and how I was all over the place with the mixing flavors and asks why I didn't really push myself by moving outside my comfort zone.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:11
|
|
|
Why dont they have a competitive catering show? Cook for 400 audience members and they pick the winner. 2 Apps and a portion of a main. Im just sayin'! 
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:14
|
|
|
*Is supposed to make fish and chips* *comes forward with a pair of shoes on a baguette* "Now see what we have here is a Deconstruction"
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:14
|
|
|
COOK FASTER FASTER THE CUSTOMERS ARE WAITING YOU STUPID oval office WHY IS THIS FOOD UNDERCOOKED WHAT THE gently caress IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU CRYING IN THE BATHROOM WE'VE GOT CUSTOMERS TO FEED
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:17
|
|
|
* spends, oh let's say 4 years, in culinary school * works in a five-star restaurant for 7 years * gets a big break cooking five-star food on TV, chance of a lifetime * show gets cancelled after 2 episodes to make room for another hour of Guy Fiero screaming at the camera while stuffing his fat dumb face with lard covered lard balls
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:22
|
|
|
psyopmonkey posted:Why dont they have a competitive catering show? This was basically done by that guy who skips leg day.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:23
|
|
|
We leave all the doors the restaurant open so stray cats can come in and out during the day. We think customers like sharing their food with animals that come in and hop up on the tables. I mean, if people didn't like that they could just get their meals to go or shush the the cats away. Cats are a very clean animal and they're the only reason our latest score from health inspector was so low because they found some eating out of an open sour cream tub in the kitchen. I consider all these neighborhood strays my family, and if this restaurant closes down, my family will starve to death.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:26
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzjR0yL4f0Y
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:30
|
|
|
BAM!
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:31
|
|
|
"I'm really confident in my skills and I can wipe the floor with these suckers but I just spent $1700 to force this one guy to only cook with a ladle he has forcibly jammed up his rear end." :forgets ingredient, is eliminated while ladleass moves on:
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 22:43
|
|
|
C. Everett Koop posted:"I'm really confident in my skills and I can wipe the floor with these suckers but I just spent $1700 to force this one guy to only cook with a ladle he has forcibly jammed up his rear end." *3 contestants left* *One contestant spends $10,000 on a sabotage for the only chef that doesn't have one, instead of just stacking them all on one contestant so they're more likely to be eliminated* Alternatively *Contestant wastes half their money replacing their opponent's chocolate sprinkles with white chocolate sprinkles* *Next sabotage is forcing their opponent to cook using only the heat generated from giving an Indian burn to a small crying child*
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 23:36
|
|
|
*contestant who spent the most money wins regardless of the quality of their dish*
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 23:40
|
|
|
*takes a poo poo on a plate* *squirts lime juice on it* "IM RICK Bayliss BITCH!"
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 23:42
|
|
|
Hey this is Guy Fietty and today we're making a porchetta that you won't forgetta *the earth vomits forth a cataclysm of plague and misery*
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 23:43
|
|
|
*opens basket* Hmm, coriander, ox tripe, a lime, and an entire bag of confectioner's sugar
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 23:43
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:48 |
|
|
My super vegan friendly food truck runs on the oil in the deep fryer. We ran the fuel lines straight from the fryer since it's warm already in there. We think the slight diesel flavour is really our signature. People rave all the way to the hospital!
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 23:48
|
|
