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Obligatory Toast posted:We can also smell your dick, so please wash your dilz I assume if you can do it from across the room, that's a negative? So, keep the funk down to a beneath the pants level then?
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Jan 23, 2015 02:28
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VendaGoat posted:I assume if you can do it from across the room, that's a negative? Basically. I mean, if you get serious swamp balls it's not a bad idea to powder your boys up with talc once in a while, you know?
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Jan 23, 2015 02:31
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Obligatory Toast posted:Basically. I mean, if you get serious swamp balls it's not a bad idea to powder your boys up with talc once in a while, you know? Gold Bond crew, represent. 
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Jan 23, 2015 02:32
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i would recommend making deep unflinching eye contact
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Jan 23, 2015 02:32
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also all girls love anal sex but they're all shy and embarrassed about it. so dont ask the first time you're in the sac, just ram it home. trust me 
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Jan 23, 2015 02:32
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Obligatory Toast posted:We can also smell your dick, so please wash your dilz The time between smelling it and tasting it should be like less than half a second. Once the dick is in play, giving the dick-ee any additional time to consider the transaction is a big mistake.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:32
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Obligatory Toast posted:Basically. I mean, if you get serious swamp balls it's not a bad idea to powder your boys up with talc once in a while, you know? Or just rub both of your hands under there, get them both good and ripe, and shove them under the nose of the girl you like. Instant sex. I'm serious.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:33
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IzzyFnStradlin posted:shower everyday
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Jan 23, 2015 02:37
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What is the Female opinion on Taint Freshness?
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Jan 23, 2015 02:39
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VendaGoat posted:What is the Female opinion on Taint Freshness? yes
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Jan 23, 2015 02:40
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All Cosmo told us is to punch the poo poo out of it during BJs, so I assume ball-powdering rules apply
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Jan 23, 2015 02:40
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We may need an arbitrator in here. Taint freshness, is a frenetic thing.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:42
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women will fall on your dick if you know how to put swords down your throat
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Jan 23, 2015 02:43
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Obligatory Toast posted:All Cosmo told us is to punch the poo poo out of it during BJs, so OT but how many "Mind-blowing sex tricks" can there be, really? They promote like 50 a month, and i've never really kept track but they have to be repeating the same 20 or so over and over again, right?
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Jan 23, 2015 02:43
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We should ask Chris-Chan for his personal dating tips.  Retail Slave posted:OT but how many "Mind-blowing sex tricks" can there be, really? There's only one actually; do whatever your man wants you to do 
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Jan 23, 2015 02:44
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43 Completely Disappointing Sex Moves
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Jan 23, 2015 02:45
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Retail Slave posted:OT but how many "Mind-blowing sex tricks" can there be, really? They promote like 50 a month, and i've never really kept track but they have to be repeating the same 20 or so over and over again, right? Pretty much, with some mind-blowingly bad loving ideas sprinkled in. Punching your man's taint i have legit read in cosmo. Same with "stimulate his prostate with your finger during missionary, but don't tell him!"
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Jan 23, 2015 02:45
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Retail Slave posted:OT but how many "Mind-blowing sex tricks" can there be, really? They promote like 50 a month, and i've never really kept track but they have to be repeating the same 20 or so over and over again, right? tip #584: Sensually place a corndog in your lovers rectum. it will be an exciting surprise for them and also a nice mid-coital snack for you!
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Jan 23, 2015 02:45
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Also: put champagne on his junk. Followed some months later with: "don't put champagne on his junk"
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Jan 23, 2015 02:47
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Obligatory Toast posted:Also: put champagne on his junk. Followed some months later with: "don't put champagne on his junk" Do you mean "pour", or did you literally mean "put"? Cause getting my dick smashed by a big bottle of bubbly isn't my idea of fun.  
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Jan 23, 2015 02:48
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How to make a Cosmo sex-tip: Buy a copy of Mad-Libs Put "penis", "vagina", "rear end in a top hat", "balls", "taint", "clitoris", or "urethra" in each blank.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:48
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KiddieGrinder posted:Do you mean "pour", or did you literally mean "put"? You hold the bubbly in your mouth as you blow him, or pour it on him sensually and lick it off of his dong. What no one will tell you is that champagne on your genitals loving burns.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:50
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Obligatory Toast posted:Also: put champagne on his junk. Followed some months later with: "don't put champagne on his junk" Well yeah, dick champagne is a seasonal thing. And I'm also forming a band and naming it Dick Champagne.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:50
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CharlestonJew posted:How to make a Cosmo sex-tip: Step two: remember that most of the demographic for Cosmo are teens in high school who are really bad at sex and will believe anything, like a man enjoying being punched in the taint.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:50
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Obligatory Toast posted:You hold the bubbly in your mouth as you blow him, or pour it on him sensually and lick it off of his dong. You have experience? 
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Jan 23, 2015 02:51
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Obligatory Toast posted:You hold the bubbly in your mouth as you blow him, or pour it on him sensually and lick it off of his dong. Holy poo poo they actually suggested that? It sounds stupid (and painful) as gently caress. My wife would probably loving choke trying that, cause there's not much room left for champagne if you know what I mean.  theres actually plenty of room
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Jan 23, 2015 02:52
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Retail Slave posted:Well yeah, dick champagne is a seasonal thing. You can't call yourselves that if you're not from France. You'll have to settle for Dick Moscato
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Jan 23, 2015 02:52
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BRB, gonna go wash and powder my taint.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:52
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OK well riddle me this OP how do I get a guy to like me? My vagina does not seem to be enough
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Jan 23, 2015 02:53
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Obligatory Toast posted:You can't call yourselves that if you're not from France. You'll have to settle for Dick Moscato It's my band and I"ll call it whatever I want.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:53
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VendaGoat posted:You have experience? Champagne gives you a burning sensation in the mouth. Think about how that's gonna feel on your glans.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:54
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Edgar Allan Pwned posted:OK well riddle me this OP how do I get a guy to like me? My vagina does not seem to be enough You don't, you're a beautiful flower and you don't need no man, but if you don't find someone you're going to die alone and childless
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Jan 23, 2015 02:55
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Edgar Allan Pwned posted:OK well riddle me this OP how do I get a guy to like me? My vagina does not seem to be enough Try lowering your standards, or post something on YLLS saying how ugly and fat you are, then BAM! White knight dick come flooding in!
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Jan 23, 2015 02:56
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Obligatory Toast posted:You don't, you're a beautiful flower and you don't need no man, but if you don't find someone you're going to die alone and childless That's what cats are for!
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Jan 23, 2015 02:56
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Girls don't even know what THEY like and dislike. It's completely a roll of the dice, just give up.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:57
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cats will eat your face as soon as you die
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Jan 23, 2015 02:57
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Obligatory Toast posted:cats will eat your face as soon as you die Meanwhile, I'll eat your face while you're still alive. 
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Jan 23, 2015 02:58
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Retail Slave posted:Meanwhile, I'll eat your face while you're still alive. Bath salts are one hell of a drug.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:59
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watch all of htis guys videos and youll be bathed in girl parts(which are called vaginas) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pUIBQdeZg0
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Jan 23, 2015 03:02
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Retail Slave posted:Meanwhile, I'll eat your face while you're still alive. Hello Clarice. 
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Jan 23, 2015 03:04
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