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You excuse can be elaborate or simple, specific or general, humiliating or dignified. It doesn't matter, it just has to get you out of work for however long you don't feel like going without getting you fired. Here's a few I've been saving: "Sorry, boss, I can't come in to work today because I can't stop making GBS threads. I'm making GBS threads right now while I'm talking to you." *fart sounds into phone* "I'll be there as soon as I can but frankly traffic is pretty bad and I don't anticipate it letting up before tomorrow morning." "I'm not coming in because I overheard [recently fired employee] saying that he was planning on shooting the place up today." "Why are you there? It's a day off today! Everyone else is there, too? They must have missed the memo. Yeah, I'd send everyone home before you get in trouble for making them work on a holiday. Good thing you got me lookin' out for you." Excuses can also be useful for getting you out of work while at work: "My e-mail has been weird all day. I guess I didn't get the assignment." "I'd love to but I'm swamped with other stuff right now, have you tried asking [hard working guy who can't refuse a task]?" "It's actually done. I sent the project to corporate a half hour ago. They didn't get it?" *feign outrage*
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Jan 26, 2015 16:22
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 20:13 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kafq7yrKAOQ
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Jan 26, 2015 16:33
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Diarrhea. That is all.
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Jan 26, 2015 16:33
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im your boss, lol. gently caress you *does a donut in the parking lot before driving on home*
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Jan 26, 2015 16:35
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"Food Poisoning". The quotes are for the sarcasm.
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Jan 26, 2015 16:36
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"Im gay"
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Jan 26, 2015 16:36
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"I am at work, but there's nobody else here. The lights are all out and there's black mold seeping out of all the walls. *sudden panic* What was that?? I think there's someone... or something in here with me... AAAAUGH!"
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Jan 26, 2015 16:41
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"Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I just bought a gun and I'm seriously pissed off at me coworkers and my prescription for meds has just run out and I'm hearing voices and I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE, GOD MAKE IT STOP! <incoherent blabbering and crying>" Works like a charm. YVW
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Jan 26, 2015 16:44
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boss this macaroni necklace isn't going to make itself
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Jan 26, 2015 16:48
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Too hungover. My pedophilia is acting up. I'm passively trying to sabotage your company.
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Jan 26, 2015 16:49
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"I'm pewdiepie"
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Jan 26, 2015 16:50
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"I've been cursed by a wicked sorceress and I don't want to spread it to anyone else at the office."
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Jan 26, 2015 16:51
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Sorry boss I've got the farts
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Jan 26, 2015 16:54
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my period is making me crampy
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Jan 26, 2015 16:54
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allergic to bullshit
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Jan 26, 2015 16:54
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can't i'm at your house loving your wife (both of you laugh into phone)
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Jan 26, 2015 16:54
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"This morning my mother woke me up by pouring hot grease all over my rear end and genitals, and when on the way down the stairs my shoes fell off. "
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Jan 26, 2015 16:54
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I'm too worried about Y2K to work.
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Jan 26, 2015 16:55
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"I just woke up and had an 8 hour dream about being at work; I think it would be very unfair for me to have to come in today"
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Jan 26, 2015 16:57
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i have ebola fears
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Jan 26, 2015 16:58
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herpes outbreak. not even your boss would ask questions about that one
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Jan 26, 2015 16:58
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I'm so tired, just let me rest
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Jan 26, 2015 16:58
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"A spider built a web across my front door. I've called the fire department but the chances of me making it in today aren't high."
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Jan 26, 2015 16:59
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Mr. Pumroy posted:i have ebola fears I'm still panicking over SARS.
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Jan 26, 2015 16:59
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i have to go diaper hunting in dumpsters, its an emergency!
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Jan 26, 2015 17:00
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"Pre-work masturbation session went wrong." *dog whimpers pitifully in background* "Terribly, terribly wrong."
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Jan 26, 2015 17:02
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"I got triggered by a billboard while driving to work. I'm camping out at Starbucks until the shakes subside."
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Jan 26, 2015 17:02
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I've had an erection for more than four hours. It's throbbing pretty bad, almost painful and the little dribble of lube won't stop. It seems bigger than ever. What are you wearing?
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Jan 26, 2015 17:03
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i honestly think that if i have to spend another hour at the office i am going to sincerely kill myself.
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Jan 26, 2015 17:03
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There was a flood last night and my bed was swept out to sea.
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Jan 26, 2015 17:04
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I am unemployed
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Jan 26, 2015 17:05
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i'm rich off bitcoins, gently caress you
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Jan 26, 2015 17:05
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Applewhite posted:There was a flood last night and my bed was swept out to sea. And then i was kidnapped, and am now being held hostage by those Captain Phillips people.
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Jan 26, 2015 17:05
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"Well, you see all the alcohol I own is HERE, so it doesn't make much sense to go THERE now does it?"
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Jan 26, 2015 17:06
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I always come over to the office to work, how about you guys come here for once?
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Jan 26, 2015 17:06
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Just pretend to be Liam Neeson from Taken and really confuse them by demanding yourself back.
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Jan 26, 2015 17:08
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Ive been taking half days and shaving a few hours off in the mornings the last few days due to "diarrhea". Thing is, it was true, but it was in no way debilitating so really I just wanted to go home and play video games while I got paid :X
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Jan 26, 2015 17:08
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"I know I was supposed to beta test those videogames today, but my cat died last night and I have to make funeral arrangements." *spend the rest of the day catching up on expense reports*
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Jan 26, 2015 17:10
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my wife died *ki9lls wife*
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Jan 26, 2015 17:11
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 20:13 |
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nomadologique posted:can't i'm at your house loving your wife The best thing about this one is you can use it more than once.
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Jan 26, 2015 17:12
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