vug posted:

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There is a religion out there that takes WAAAY more faith than any other… and exceedingly blind, bigoted, and MINDLESS faith as well.

That religion is called Evolution.

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Creation has been unanimously proven. The guy who made it (God Almighty, The Great I AM) said "I made it". No one has been able to prove Him wrong at any single thing and He's been right about everything He has ever said. There are a lot of people who despite this utterly perfect track record however, choose not to take Him at His word. Thus, we have evolution and all sorts of zany man-made ideas. Funny thing about mankind is that man is constantly wrong about everything either through ignorance or willful rebellion.

I'm sticking with my Lord Jesus and His flawless and all knowing perfection at everything VS the utter failure of mankind at everything.

yung jew posted:

to all heathens: the blood of christ is against you

redshirt posted:

Yeah? What super powers does the blood of christ have?

redshirt posted:

Yeah? What super powers does the blood of christ have?

redshirt posted:

Yeah? What super powers does the blood of christ have?

Stottie Kyek posted:

It can transubstantiate wine into itself, which is nice for communion ceremonies and all but you don't want that power used against you. Imagine having a nice drink that you've just paid for, and suddenly it turns into gross blood just as you put it to your mouth

Darkman Fanpage posted:

god invented cellphones maybe youve heard of them???

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Grade school textbooks teach evolution as fact. It is a monstrous lie that harms our children.

The evolution theory says we evolved from the original Big Bang and later crawled out of a green slime from the ocean.

Here is one example of its ludicrous hypothesis.

Of all the mysteries surrounding evolution, the one that is most baffling to the evolutionists, is “water.” Where did all the oceans come from?

As explained on the National Geographic program, it came from a massive collision in space. As the Earth was cooling from the Big Bang, it was approached by a stray planet that was teeming with water. It collided with Earth, spilled its water onto the Earth, then careened off into space.

Talk about fairy tales. By the way, where did the stray planet get its water?

Come on evolutionists, surely you can develop a more plausible explanation that can be easier to swallow. Until then, I accept the Bible’s answer. After all, the 4,000-year-old book has a perfect track record.

The evolution theory is only 140 years old.

redshirt posted:

This checks out. Praise Jesus.

yung jew posted:

jesus lovers believe that life has no meaning and purpose aside from scoring a place in magical post-death Disneyland

CaptainSarcastic posted:

FTFY

Hail Satan.

quakster posted:

virtually everyone i've ever talked to in person falls into some weird hybrid atheist-theist category where they agree with many of the moral values presented by the various religions, mostly christianity, but has no real interest in forcing those values onto others. i think this is for the best when it comes to belief systems and i'm fairly certain it is directly connected to living in a climate that gets fairly cold at times

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Gimp Fack posted:

One day in Heaven God was feeling very horny. He was too tired to masturbate though. "Hmm" thought God "what a predicament". Then it struck him. He was all powerful, he didn't have to manually get himself off. He could make a sex slave! So then God went down to the earth and tried to find a good woman to bear an offspring. He went to a stable. Suddenly...Mary was there! Her husband Joseph had left. "Perfect" thought God "A young defenceless virgin girl she will make a good child bearer" then God went down and raped Mary. "if you tell anyone I'll loving kill you" god muttered to her. Mary nodded, terrified. 9 months later a baby Jesus was born. God came down to claim him.

"my son!" said God "you will grow up for great things! you are indeed very sexy .perfect!" then God killed Mary because she was a dirty whore.

God couldn't have sex with baby Jesus so he left him on the earth until he was grown up.

20 years later Jesus had grown up. He had done many good things in the world like killing the Romans and leading the jews through the red sea. God found this a turn on. God came down for Jesus one day whilst Jesus was being baptised. John the baptiser had left to go buy some beer and Jesus was left alone naked in the pool. He had a six pack, some chest hair and a manly stubble. God crept up silently behind him naked.

"Jesus" said God. Jesus jumped but didn't turn around. "wh - who is this?" he asked tentatively.
"your daddy" God reached down under the water to feel Jesus' rear end. It was firm and smooth. Then he reached round the front and stroked his huge cock. Jesus was a bit scared but also a bit turned on. He turned around to face God. God stood there proudly with his 12 inch penis waving in the wind. "hello son" he said sexily.

Jesus was scared, and tried to disguise his erection. "what do you want?" he whispered.
"I want you to suck me" god said in a low voice. Jesus obeyed. He closed his mouth around the throbbing shaft and deepthroated God.
"mmm yes more" God cried. "suck me harder bitch, harder!" Jesus continued sucking him off until God couldn't take any more. He was shuddering in ecstacy, his face sweaty. "more! more!"

Suddenly God ejaculated into Jesus' mouth. Jesus swallowed all of his cum, savouring every last drop. He sucked until god's cock was completely dry. "wow that sure beats fapping" God breathed heavily.
"are we done yet" Jesus asked, secretely hoping that there was more to come.

"we're not finished yet!" God roared powerfully. There was a desk nearby. God forcefully grabbed Jesus and slammed him onto the desk in doggie position. God thrust his erect penis into Jesus' rear end in a top hat, and Jesus' screamed in pain. "take it like a man son" God yelled as he pounded Jesus' sorry rear end again and again. Jesus moaned in pain, his eyes filling with tears. God thrust faster and faster, harder and harder, breathing rapidly. Jesus panted and groaned with pleasure and pain.

"I've never took it in the rear end before" Jesus panted, lost for breath. God was grunting louder, as he began to near his climax. Jesus was also grunting in exsquisite agony. God became so excited he couldn't hold it in any longer. He pulled out and sprayed his load all over Jesus rear end. Jesus came at the same time, he let out one scream of unbearable pleasure. All the cum swirled and mixed around in the water, Jesus flopped down into a chair, exhausted and relieved. God stood up panting. Suddenly God noticed someone standing by some trees. John had returned from the shops to finish baptising Jesus.

"I'm sorry" John apologised "I didn't wanna interrupt"
God noticed that John had an erection. He got an idea. "not to worry John" god said "Are you up for a threesome?"

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I think I can prove the truth of the biblical word. I live in Canada, and I notice the aboriginal natives live in squalor with drug abuse, violence and suicide. The natives practiced pagen religions until they were enlightened with the word of God. However, the bible states that a man who sins against God will suffer and his subsequent generations will suffer. The suffering of the natives is due to the sins of their forefathers and the fact that they never accepted Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.

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I think I can prove the truth of the biblical word. I live in Canada, and I notice the aboriginal natives live in squalor with drug abuse, violence and suicide. The natives practiced pagen religions until they were enlightened with the word of God. However, the bible states that a man who sins against God will suffer and his subsequent generations will suffer. The suffering of the natives is due to the sins of their forefathers and the fact that they never accepted Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.

Jesus Christ posted:

me